cap bf wants to host female friend...

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by nightvirgo8888 on Tuesday, July 1, 2014 and has 24 replies.
should I be worried?
I don't want him to, but now that he is asking, how should I tell him?
for half a month, that's the duration.
I am very uncomfortable about it and don't want to seem so controlling...
sigh
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At his place? What's your relationship like?
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I wouldn't like it.
Guys and girls as friends, and "just friends", is a tough one.
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u be direct. f% $ * wat he thinks
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Posted by cheekyfaerie
But should you be worried... How do we know? I can tell you I'm a Cappy and have guy friends crash at my place and there's absolutely nothing sexual about it. Being a friend is being a friend, regardless of gender.


Yep, if I don't feel anything for them, I don't feel anything for them. Its very simple from my point of view. I know it's innocent. Now, if the aqua was the same and wanted a female stay with him, I don't think I would like that either.
I think it's natural you feel uncomfortable with it. Boils down to an issue of trust.
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he called me to say that this was a friend from his overseas college and his friend's gf. I haven't met her before and have not even heard about her. he says she's here for 2 week of attachment for sch and he feels that as a friend he should render that support.
i feel he is trying too hard not to reject her. (honestly I can come up w many reasons just to reject her in the nicest way ever) but what about me?
I left the ball in his courts though. I told him I am not comfortable w the idea but it's his calling at the end of the day.
I feel I can compromise a few days but he doesn't seem to be open to that idea.
on top if it he says he can try to meet me everyday and I can stayover whenever I want.
he also says that if I was in a similar situation and if this guy was a "good guy" and close friend of mine, he would understand.
I don't know. firstly, I dont host people and hold my personal space very personal. secondly, I have given my previous two libra ex a lot of freedom and these relationships did not work out. one was two years the other close to 5 years.
I really don't want to put myself in this situation that relives my insecurities.
thanks for all ur replies! really appreciate it!
I am convincing to compromise to a week and hope she can find her own accommodation after which.
yet, the feeling sucks...
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Bottom line : If your gut is telling you something is off... Something is off.
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Yeah, really. Only she knows if something seems off about it all. Is he too keen on this visit? Why hasn't he mentioned her before?
Also, I knew a guy who did this to a girlfriend of mine. He had met someone online, talked for over one year, they wanted to meet... She stayed at his place for one month.
This whole time he had a girlfriend on the side waiting, ya know?
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This guy's sister was in on it... Being a friend of hers and so on!
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He's a Pisces.
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I wouldn't be comfortable with this either. She's his friend's GF, which doesn't make her even a bonafide friend. And he's willing to go to this trouble for her, knowing it will incite your insecurities. Something ain't adding up here. I'd be very suspicious myself. Touch sitch. Good luck.
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Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
OMG.
smh.


Watch that shakey head. You might catch Parkinson's that way LOL.
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I say trust since let's look at it this way.
I given the chance, will he cheat?
You have the situation set up, why not see what happens?
Either nothing happens or betrayal.
To be honest, I'd rather trust and let things play out vs mirco-managing their life and constantly thinking they'll bang anything of the opposite sex if left alone long enough.
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Posted by SirHorns
I say trust since let's look at it this way.
I given the chance, will he cheat?
You have the situation set up, why not see what happens?
Either nothing happens or betrayal.
To be honest, I'd rather trust and let things play out vs mirco-managing their life and constantly thinking they'll bang anything of the opposite sex if left alone long enough.


I understand where you are coming from, and believe this way more times than not.
However, I also believe that if you tempt fate enough, and place yourself in bad situations -- bad things will happen.
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Posted by CluelessCancer
Ahh hell fuking no!


I love the way you bottom line common sense, CC.
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Posted by CapTenn
Posted by SirHorns
I say trust since let's look at it this way.
I given the chance, will he cheat?
You have the situation set up, why not see what happens?
Either nothing happens or betrayal.
To be honest, I'd rather trust and let things play out vs mirco-managing their life and constantly thinking they'll bang anything of the opposite sex if left alone long enough.


I understand where you are coming from, and believe this way more times than not.
However, I also believe that if you tempt fate enough, and place yourself in bad situations -- bad things will happen.
click to expand


True. Could screw them sore so they're too tired to do anything.
Say it can't become a habit.
Or they ladies could just crash there to and admit they're uncomfortable/ think the chick will jump their man or vice-versa.
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Posted by nightvirgo8888
he called me to say that this was a friend from his overseas college and his friend's gf. I haven't met her before and have not even heard about her. he says she's here for 2 week of attachment for sch and he feels that as a friend he should render that support.
i feel he is trying too hard not to reject her. (honestly I can come up w many reasons just to reject her in the nicest way ever) but what about me?
I left the ball in his courts though. I told him I am not comfortable w the idea but it's his calling at the end of the day.
I feel I can compromise a few days but he doesn't seem to be open to that idea.
on top if it he says he can try to meet me everyday and I can stayover whenever I want.
he also says that if I was in a similar situation and if this guy was a "good guy" and close friend of mine, he would understand.
I don't know. firstly, I dont host people and hold my personal space very personal. secondly, I have given my previous two libra ex a lot of freedom and these relationships did not work out. one was two years the other close to 5 years.
I really don't want to put myself in this situation that relives my insecurities.
thanks for all ur replies! really appreciate it!
I am convincing to compromise to a week and hope she can find her own accommodation after which.
yet, the feeling sucks...


Why don't you offer her to stay at your place?
Problem solved.
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Posted by truecap
Why don't you offer her to stay at your place?
Problem solved.


Not a bad idea!!
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Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
might as well suggest she get a nanny cam Tongue



Ohh good ideasmile
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thanks for the replies!!
I stated to the cap bf that I am uncomfortable but eventually it is his calling. I don't knw What is going on inside his head, but I'll be really disappointed if he goes ahead.
we caught up for movie last evening and he didn't bring up the subject at all. like a normal date, maybe a bit more affection. I assume it will be the way he wants it.
or is he still thinking?
does he really not give a damn about what I think?
I don't mean to b so insecure but he is not doing anything to mk me feel safe.
I don't want history to repeat itself w the libra guys, when all the trust just gets abused.
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hi twirlingstrawberry wow u rem he has a sag moon ...
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smile haha.
can't help but share my fear and concerns as a highly insecure virgo...
and don't know if what to do about it...
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A friend of mine had a friend come over and she used the occasion to stay with her boyfriend for a week and let the friend stay in her place.
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I know that's a wonderful option but my cap bf will n having the home to himself the time the female fren is there I m living w parents. don't hv that option on my end...
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