Cap Ex-boyf wants me back - was he cheating? HELP!
This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by lawyer82 on Monday, December 31, 2007 and has 7 replies.
was with a Capricorn guy for about 8 months - I'm 24, he's 34. All of a sudden he started acting a little shady/distant...he was having work problems.
One Saturday morning he told me he was busy with a few things - I happen to see him (no joke) walking on the coast with anohter woman (quite a bit older than me) and her dog. I flipped out and approached - he said there's nothing going on - he had just been made redundant the day before, the girl works in recruitment/human resources and he was asking for advice. Turns out she's married and does work for the company he said in recruitment.
Still, he lied to me, and I still don't believe his story - get the niggling feeling he was cheating?????
He then said he needed a break to sort himself out and was going to Europe - turns out he never went.
So, given the above, all the lies, I told him where to go and we're over.
In the past couple of months I've found out he was in some serious family/criminal trouble - obviously didn't want to tell me.
Just last week he sends a massive bouquet of flowers to my house (I still live at home with my parents) and a hand-written letter saying he loves me, misses me, has so much to explain but doesn't know where to start
I've ignored it - threw out the flowers - but its so hard. I loved this guy, we had spoken about marriage etc, just don't know what to do.
One Saturday morning he told me he was busy with a few things - I happen to see him (no joke) walking on the coast with anohter woman (quite a bit older than me) and her dog. I flipped out and approached - he said there's nothing going on - he had just been made redundant the day before, the girl works in recruitment/human resources and he was asking for advice. Turns out she's married and does work for the company he said in recruitment.
Still, he lied to me, and I still don't believe his story - get the niggling feeling he was cheating?????
He then said he needed a break to sort himself out and was going to Europe - turns out he never went.
So, given the above, all the lies, I told him where to go and we're over.
In the past couple of months I've found out he was in some serious family/criminal trouble - obviously didn't want to tell me.
Just last week he sends a massive bouquet of flowers to my house (I still live at home with my parents) and a hand-written letter saying he loves me, misses me, has so much to explain but doesn't know where to start
I've ignored it - threw out the flowers - but its so hard. I loved this guy, we had spoken about marriage etc, just don't know what to do.
Cap are liers. Mine lied all the time. Little, big lies didnt matter I caught him in almost all of them. So I kicked him to the curb. You need to stand firm with a cap cause they try to see how far they can walk all over you.
If you really think he was cheating and you have that gut renching feeling that he did.
Your probably right. Always go with your gut instict it never seems to let people down. My ex cap we were together almost 4 years. I had gut feelings about him cheating but never went with it always told myself no he wouldnt do that. Till finally he dumped me. Why cause he always told me if he was going to cheat he would break up with me first.
Now his facebook saying is "I'm waiting for some ass" LOSER>>>>>
Also if he is that much older then you he shouldnt be having doubts as caps get older they get better. If he is having doubt you mind as well stop wasting your time with him cause it will end sooner or later.
Giving age and the time invested in this relationship. If you go back he will only hurt you more.
That was my mistake at 7 months we had broken up cause he was unsure. I wasted 3 years and 8 months on something he knew wasnt going to work out. They pick who there mates for life are around the 8-12 month mark. If he is unsure now you cant have a stable relationship with him. It will always be rocky and he will always put you through unneccessary bull crap.
Good luck with whatever decision you make. All I can give is my advise.
If you really think he was cheating and you have that gut renching feeling that he did.
Your probably right. Always go with your gut instict it never seems to let people down. My ex cap we were together almost 4 years. I had gut feelings about him cheating but never went with it always told myself no he wouldnt do that. Till finally he dumped me. Why cause he always told me if he was going to cheat he would break up with me first.
Now his facebook saying is "I'm waiting for some ass" LOSER>>>>>
Also if he is that much older then you he shouldnt be having doubts as caps get older they get better. If he is having doubt you mind as well stop wasting your time with him cause it will end sooner or later.
Giving age and the time invested in this relationship. If you go back he will only hurt you more.
That was my mistake at 7 months we had broken up cause he was unsure. I wasted 3 years and 8 months on something he knew wasnt going to work out. They pick who there mates for life are around the 8-12 month mark. If he is unsure now you cant have a stable relationship with him. It will always be rocky and he will always put you through unneccessary bull crap.
Good luck with whatever decision you make. All I can give is my advise.
Sometimes, I just can't understand people .. you're so goddam selfish much of the time with your own little feelings, that it just frustrates the hell out of me ..... people are so fucked up.
For 8 months everything was fine .. suddenly he gets shady
You C.O.M.P.R.E.H.E.N.D. that he has a problem at work.
Of course, that's his problem at work, not yours, so intead of having any compassion for him having a problem ... you erroneously think he's out to stab you in the back, or hurt you, or anything against you .. when it's about HIM ... he's got a problem, and likely needs someone to talk to ... do you let him talk to you? NO, apparantly not, for he goes to talk to somebody else.
H.E.L.L.O..............
Immediately you jump to conclusions, which are false ... he was talking to a lady in HR .. and also probably appreciated her compassion towards his issue, since he obviously couldn't talk to you.
He has shit to sort out, he's in serious trouble with the law and tells you he needs someone to talk to .... what do you do.
Throw the shit in his face ...... ALL OF HIS ACTIONS HAVE BEEN A PLEA, CRYING OUT FOR HELP.
But, you have your little feelings .. don't have any compassion for him, that would just be too good for you to do.
This just amazes me .... everything you've said has just been speculation on your part. His actions show he's in trouble, and the only thing you think about is you.
For 8 months everything was fine .. suddenly he gets shady
You C.O.M.P.R.E.H.E.N.D. that he has a problem at work.
Of course, that's his problem at work, not yours, so intead of having any compassion for him having a problem ... you erroneously think he's out to stab you in the back, or hurt you, or anything against you .. when it's about HIM ... he's got a problem, and likely needs someone to talk to ... do you let him talk to you? NO, apparantly not, for he goes to talk to somebody else.
H.E.L.L.O..............
Immediately you jump to conclusions, which are false ... he was talking to a lady in HR .. and also probably appreciated her compassion towards his issue, since he obviously couldn't talk to you.
He has shit to sort out, he's in serious trouble with the law and tells you he needs someone to talk to .... what do you do.
Throw the shit in his face ...... ALL OF HIS ACTIONS HAVE BEEN A PLEA, CRYING OUT FOR HELP.
But, you have your little feelings .. don't have any compassion for him, that would just be too good for you to do.
This just amazes me .... everything you've said has just been speculation on your part. His actions show he's in trouble, and the only thing you think about is you.
"He then said he needed a break to sort himself out and was going to Europe - turns out he never went."
The way you flip out .. I'm not surprised about this. If I needed my space to sort out my head and couldn't because my girlfriend was up in my face, falsely accusing me .. I would likely tell her I'm going far away too ... to get some peace.
You made him tell you this ..... because you're freaking out about your own feelings and not listening to his behaviours .... if a person suddenly, out-of-nowhere starts behaving different, then this person has a problem and needs someone to help him. Lending him your ear, with sympathy for his problems would be nice.
"In the past couple of months I've found out he was in some serious family/criminal trouble - obviously didn't want to tell me."
Why would he tell you? So far with his problems, instead of you trying to listen and help him, trying to understand he's in trouble and needs help .... you freaked out. So, why would he tell you?
He wants help ... not someone to bitch him out.
The way you flip out .. I'm not surprised about this. If I needed my space to sort out my head and couldn't because my girlfriend was up in my face, falsely accusing me .. I would likely tell her I'm going far away too ... to get some peace.
You made him tell you this ..... because you're freaking out about your own feelings and not listening to his behaviours .... if a person suddenly, out-of-nowhere starts behaving different, then this person has a problem and needs someone to help him. Lending him your ear, with sympathy for his problems would be nice.
"In the past couple of months I've found out he was in some serious family/criminal trouble - obviously didn't want to tell me."
Why would he tell you? So far with his problems, instead of you trying to listen and help him, trying to understand he's in trouble and needs help .... you freaked out. So, why would he tell you?
He wants help ... not someone to bitch him out.
"One Saturday morning he told me he was busy with a few things - I happen to see him (no joke) walking ..."
Wow, what a coincidence .... you just happened to see him?
Wow, what a coincidence .... you just happened to see him?
he said there's nothing going on - he had just been made redundant the day before, the girl works in recruitment/human resources and he was asking for advice. Turns out she's married and does work for the company he said in recruitment.
Still, he lied to me, and I still don't believe his story - get the niggling feeling he was cheating?????
------------------------------
You're not ready to be with a man, for when he tells you the truth, and you find out it is, indeed, the truth ... you go acting like a little girl.
Try a boy ....
Still, he lied to me, and I still don't believe his story - get the niggling feeling he was cheating?????
------------------------------
You're not ready to be with a man, for when he tells you the truth, and you find out it is, indeed, the truth ... you go acting like a little girl.
Try a boy ....
just to clairify - in terms of going to Europe - he started PACKING his clothes in front of me (said he was due to leave the next day).
Since he was acting shady I called his phone the next day (form a withheld number) and lo and behold, he picks up, and then hangs up when he realises its me.
go figure?
Since he was acting shady I called his phone the next day (form a withheld number) and lo and behold, he picks up, and then hangs up when he realises its me.
go figure?
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