Cap guy has issues - wants space again - driving m

so, am back together with my Cap Ex after he actively pusued me and wanted me back. He is 34 years old.

lately, he has been acting distant - and only available to see me every 2nd week - which I got angry about and caused a fight over.

we had trust issues last time which caused the break-up, I guess I'm still a little cautious.

now we have another stumbling block - he's having some problems - family, house, stockmarket, and is going into his man-cave and wanting space from me - sent me a long email asking for my understanding.

I'm starting to think he has serious 2nd thoughts about our relationship and doesn't know how to tell me?

I havn't spoken to him in the past week - I actually don't know how to respond.

The logical me says - kick him to the curb.

The other me - your guy is in trouble, he has told me what wrong, a good partner should be there to support him through thick and thin.

Its weird - not sure whether I'm just being treated like crap or he's actually doing the right "manly" thing and dealing with his problems solo.

I think your Cap does not want to be seen as week and unable to solve his troubles. I guess, he needs to put a full focus on his problems now. You are in his mind ,that's why he "actively pursued" you but he wants to be 100% compatible to make things right in the rest of his life.
That is a basic need for us to succeed and not be dependable on other's help.
We, caps are very straightforward and if he would not like to be in a relationship with you, he would tell it...not ask for understanding and patience.

On the other hand, it is true that we, caps open up slowly. I m like that too..I m telling from my own experience.
Many times, if I do not know exactly what to do, I rather stay passive or provoke a dispute and than suddenly I recognize that..OMG, I have what I need!..and than I start to put the effort to build up again what I ruined...saunds machistic, isn't it?!
It takes time to take this off and feel secure to rather communicate my feelings and thougs in the right way..

we were apart for about 4 months.

reason for the break-up - he didn't communicate to me, withdrew, I jumped to ocnclusions and caused a scene and accused him of cheating.

fault on both ends.

but the samr probelm has re-issued. This time though, he explained when things get tough he needs space, and hopes I understand.

Love this guy, so want to be understanding, but its very hard.

its bizarre - I thought he genuinely wanted to get back together. At 34 years old, you'd expect alot more

hmm.

well, since I havn't heard from him I'm going to assume I'm single.

well, I finally dumped him.

another weekend passed, he was unavailable.

I told him my concerns (via email), his response was that in all relatinships, there are times when a partner can't/doesn't want to do anything.

I responded - fair enough, but I'm busy as well, need to spend time together on weekends, I've had enough.

He didn't respond, maybe he was waiting for me to end the relationship?

He knew before he stepped to you and pursued you that his life isn't/wasn't a 100% together so him bailing out is BS.

He's the type of man that you will NEVER be able to take seriously, he's a CP man (commitment phobic) nothing you will ever do or say will satisfy this guy.

He's emotionally unstable and uses his instability as an excuse to excuse himself from participating in the relationship..how selfish of him.


He uses every excuse not to man up and deal with his issues like a grown man, find a way to change his situation without burdening everyone with his distant nature, he has to sit around, sulk and be a big baby about it. Of course you know he's dating other women...you have to know this. There are plenty of men that deal with life, grief and loss and maintain loving relationships. This guy chooses the easy way out each and everytime...he's weak minded

As far as him pursuing you...he more than likely had some kind of romanticized idea of you and started to pursue, once he hooked you in, the relationship became way too real just like his life, so he distance himself from all that realness and instead of him being man enough to say I don't want this anymore, he has to give you some cock and bull story about his life and make you be the aggressor by ending the relationship which makes him feel faultless.

Here's a story I remember about my ex...he has a number of mental health issues yet he's very talented and very smart, I spent the week over his house and he left his account open, he thought he closed out but he didn't, me being curious and nosy I had the opportunity to read emails from him to different women that I never knew existed lol...well they all said the same thing, your a liar, you lied or why is it when things get tough you use your mental issues as an excuse, oh your depressed, life is bad and I wanna die, why do you do that? Oh and let me be clear, I was wrong for snooping, I'm not saying follow my example or judge me on it...I'm clear its not cool to snoop.

Yet he didn't do this to ALL of them, I noticed he only did this to the ones he didn't want to be bothered with, some of the women he was hey baby how you doing? I miss you? I love you? And to others its I'm broke, my life is bad, I'm this I'm that...I never told him I knew this about him but it gave me insight into his psychological make-up... in 3 words he's a jerk and there is nothing wrong with him for the exception of him being a manipulative bastard,

Oh and to be clear I'm not saying what my ex did is what your man is doing to you, I'm painting a picture of a possibility or lets say something you may be able to relate to in some way.

tiki33, I agree with you - when I ended it with him I basically said he is full of it and a commitmentphobic.

out of curiosity, how did you relationship end?

I too ended the relationship with my ex, way too much drama, lies and more drama, the roller coaster ride never stopped and the circus music played 24/7 so yeah I finally kicked him to the curb once I found no amount of love and self sacrificing was going to make him even think about changing...it was him or me, my self esteem or put up with his bullshit, I chose to walk and I have no regrets because I'm happy now and you will be just fine.

Things happen and people get back together jus be aware of the fact that if you choose to ever go down that road with him again nothing you say or do will even come close to making him behave differently.

I found no amount of love and self sacrificing was going to make him even think about changing...

This is very true and exactly how I feel about the capricorn I met and knew for just for a few weeks. I was good to him. I was affectionate and kind to him. I wanted to be his friend and his lover. But he used his smartness and lies to break up with me and told me he was tired, busy, and having family problems when he first broke up with me. He said I was needy and clingy when he broke up with me the first time. Then he came back after two weeks. He only lives two houses down from my house in a trailer and is again staying away from me. He doesn't tell me anything. I didn't know what was going on, till the day I walked up to his door. He was very cold with me, didn't really want to talk to me. This time his excuse was that he has been busy. He won't call me or text me any more. He's just cold with me, so I stopped calling him and texting him. He is 41 years old, and a very stubborn man, with a big ego. I don't think he knows how to love, or won't love anyone for a long time. I know he doesn't want me now by the way he acts but why did he come back and why did he call me and hang up. What is wrong with this capricorn men. Maybe they're evil, I don't know.

Yes lawyer82 maybe that is that best advice for us women. Run from a capricorn man!!!!! and don't look back.....

Run, run, run! This Piscean I've been seeing for 2 months has a Cap. moon and venus, and I am seeing that Cap moon come out. Pessimistic and negative. Won't give the relationship a chance because he's afraid of being hurt, etc. At least he communicates it though; whereas, the Cap sun a $ $ wouldn't even talk to me!

there is def something wrong with cap men...the one i was with would never committ...he would always want to come around me but he would never officially say that he wanted to be with me....he told me that he wanted to have a baby with me..and i told him no...how am i going to have a baby and we're not even in a committed relationship...he would come around and wouldnt stay long and never wanted to go out...he was just weird....i think that they're just very scared of getting hurt so they sabotage their relationships..who has time for it...they always start off as great guys but it never amounts to anything...

i had a similar experience with my cap just recently. things got too serious and real so he started to become distant. after confronting him, we broke up because he admitted that he was questioning us.

he took a couple of days to mull over it and decided he was making a mistake. he admitted he got scared and wanted to run away but then realized he was keeping himself from finally being happy.

seems like typical cap men behaviour.