CAP man Super clean freak...

He annoys me with his clean freakish ways ...


1- Number one Rule: Don't sit on my bed with Day clothes on!

*I get slowly pushed off from the edge of his bed with his strong legs. Then reminded of "Number ONE Rule!"
He is ALWAYS in bed sleeping, by the way, even if he expects me to meet him at a certain hour. So hard to escape the Rule#1.


2- I get ordered, "wash your hands!", when I enter his apartment.

*Duh. Do I need to be reminded?


3- We both wash vegetables and fruit with soap, but he inspects mine. (we both are a bit on the nutty side, but he beats me)


4- Before a kiss he demands, "brush your teeth thoroughly!". He washed his brush with soap yesterday before brushing his teeth. Then I watched his process... lol... curiosity to his methods.... there was no spot inside his mouth unbrushed, even up to underneath his tongue was cared for with extreme attentiveness.

I said that's a first time for me to see such disinfecting method and advised to keep his brush in salt-filled water rather. But Sheesh... interesting how he comes up with these things.


5- many more clean freakish habits but his apartment is not super clean at all.


So I wonder, how CAP man ever dares to have sex with a woman and if he was ever disgusted by one? He says "YES"... I feel disgusted by dirty women.

Is "cleanliness" a common trait in cappies or is this particular one living on the edge?

Hard to keep up with this guy. I may stop the kissing process completely if he continues behaving this way.

FUMRedFairy_tales: "Is "cleanliness" a common trait in cappies or is this particular one living on the edge?"

I know quit a few people (all different signs, men & women) that have this cleanliness thing going on.
But to be ordered, demanded and inspected like that. Wow. talk about the "white glove" inspection.

When you guys first hooked up, what attracted you to him and him to you?

You must really like this guy.

That would drive me nuts...couldn't cope with it...period.

Yeah - I think this guy is a bit over the top

he's an abusive woman hating clown

oh excuse my synopsis...he's an abusive clown...there is a difference between being eccentric (clean freakish) and being abusive, he's hiding his abusive ways BEHIND being a clean freak

Tiki. He's not abusive. That's the wrong word hun. You're making up your own story.





He's a crazy clean freak.

Who the hell orders anyone to wash up right away as soon as they enter the door?

Not even my mom ever did that to me.

ordering is controlling, ordering someone elses actions is a form of abuse, women need to educate themselves on what abuse looks like, I find many women dismiss what looks weird and unexplainable as eccentric, eccentric clean freak is someone that is doing this to themselves, not dictating that you have to do it as well, this clown she's dealing with has been known to be manipulative, it always starts off as subtle then it escalates, once she submits to his so called clean freakish ways he will continue to push the envelope....He's behaving in a controlling way, if he needs her to be a certain way, do certain things in order for him to feel at ease and comfortable that's a red flag for abusive man, she should be able to do what's comfortable for her PERIOD...abuse is not always hitting a woman, psychological abuse happens many times over before a woman catches on to it...but first the man has to see how far he can go before he really leans into it with a woman...jus say'n

never the less to each her own, if it helps to call him a clean freak to get through it then enjoy!

Bena -- I liked his 'rawness'. A friend of mine calls it a *CHARGED LOVE EPIC*.


Warholian -- I really like this guy, but will not allow myself to love him and I know it will be short-lived.

Missie -- he is driving me nuts too.

Cappy -- I agree that everyone deserves being given the benefit of the doubt. For now am on the watch out...


Tiki -- yesterday I could have fully agreed with you. His cleanliness is not the only control he seeks; there are other issues as well such as honesty of his whereabouts. Everyone has some kind of experience in their lifes and may make decisions accordingly. My daughter tells that she agrees with his actions.


For now I will wait and see, but I will not let myself being commanded by him. He has these strange habits, but he also seems to test me on them of how severely I will "follow" or "object" them. If I follow for too long, he loses respect. If I object, he seems to get a laugh out of things. If I object for too long, he looses his confidence.

So it's a strange balance.



To me he just represents the pure rawness in a CAP. I don't think he can be compared to many. I think he is just the extreme of things. He is addictive, alluring, warm, silly, extremely sexual, sometimes a big liar and sometimes extremely honest where others would stay quiet, but he is also someone you would not want to let get too close to you.


Perhaps I bring out certain feelings and reactions in him... don't know. I don't think he is the same with others as he is with me... I see him like a big child sometimes.

Mystic dreamer --

Posted by Mystic Dreamer
Tiki. He's not abusive. That's the wrong word hun. You're making up your own story.



He's a crazy clean freak.

Who the hell orders anyone to wash up right away as soon as they enter the door?

Not even my mom ever did that to me.

When I look at him and say, sheesh you don't have to tell me to wash my hands.. or I make a joke out of things, I can see from his face that he doesn't say it to be abusive... it's more like a rule he blurbs out what he has for himself, but also wants to see in others. That's the way I see it.

Lately he stopped telling me to wash my hands... lol...


My shoes have to be left outside. I said, I paid a fortune for my shoes, took a bag and took them in... ha ha ha...

He was just starring at my shoes. I said, get over it... am not leaving them outside.

As long as you stand up for yourself, don't allow him to order you around, give in some and don't give in at other times then you should be fine

I'm a rational neatfreak. 😛
This guy sounds like a control freak. It'd make me want to make a mudpie in his living room or something.

"Warholian -- I really like this guy, but will not allow myself to love him and I know it will be short-lived."

How does one go about not allowing themselves to fall in love? Please explain.



"For now I will wait and see, but I will not let myself being commanded by him. He has these strange habits, but he also seems to test me on them of how severely I will "follow" or "object" them. If I follow for too long, he loses respect. If I object, he seems to get a laugh out of things. If I object for too long, he looses his confidence."

I too have some of these tendencies that pale in comparison to some of the OCD habits mentioned here. I like cleanliness and organization but I wouldn't try to impose it on my SO. Actually, I find it a turn-off if someone always gives in to my demands and I think a lot of men feel the same. And I am very demanding. Caps are more about being in control of their own environment, not yours. I guess you should be flattered that he considers you a part of his [environment] and that he's not embarrassed to show you his obsessive compulsive side.

Maybe he's not a control freak, or a clean freak, nor any kind of freak at all ...



Maybe Fum is dirty, and smells ... while he is merely trying to get her to realize the importance of hygiene and cleanliness.

Back in my single days, when I was dating .... if I was interested and trying to see a man who was dirty, I'd tell him to wash up as soon as he came into my house.


Sitting on bed if clothes are dirty is out .... touching anything in my house with dirty hands wouldn't happen ... showing him how to clean his mouth and tongue would happen ...


........ perhaps, he is just trying to hang out with a woman who is dirty, and he doesn't like how she smells, and the condition of her dirty hands and clothes.

Have you guys never seen a dirty person who needs to be cleaned up?


Just because she is female, doesn't mean she is clean.

Shut-UP, PEE!!!!!

Don't give moronic examples of your own filthy existence.... if you can read, I said I also wash my vegetables and fruit with soap. I don't have to prove you anything. Get out of my thread!

First of all, Tiki... I did read many people mentioning what great advice you give and I like to add to those comments that you have been great in making clear that we women can get blinded by our own emotions at many times.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Xun3 -- that's your privilege to accept my post as an overstatement or not.


One example I can give you is that in my culture we do take off our shoes before we get into our homes, but we have a place to put them indoors without leaving them outside and we offer our guests slippers -- as funny as this may sound.


Secondly, I wash my vegetables and fruit with soap. He washes them with detergent and a sponge. He has a stomach problem right now and is taking prescription medication for it.

So how do you think can I make up the brushing of his teeth even up to under his tongue, He brushed his gums above his teeth, etc. It's very admirable, I am not critisizing him for that. I just get annoyed when he offers me the brush to brush my teeth before a kiss. Initially he was implying if I forgot my toothbrush at his house and I said, you must mix me up with your other lady friends. Why on earth would I leave my toothbrush there? Then I saw he had several new ones in their packages and he offered me one in the end. So when with him, I do brush my teeth several times in a day just to give him what he wants. And he seems to get a kick out of it. If he gets too overboared with other things, I will put him at his place.

But he is VERY clean in person and that is what I like about him. That's why sex is extra good 😄

They make listerine sticks for bad breath people ...... just for situations like this.


If a person encourages teeth brushing before every kiss ... then this means you have an odor issue.


I don't think the listerine packets are very expensive .... but, it sounds to me like it's your whole body hygiene that's a problem if he wishes for you not to sit with your street clothes on and he wishes you would wash your hands ... so, it's doubtful you have halitosis, you most likely just need to brush better, and more often, followed with a mouthwash.


I would suggest you take a bath, and put on clean clothes the next time you visit him .... most likely your annoyance would be solved, and he would have a happy nose around you.

Cappy -- thank you for your kind comments. Yes he is the same guy. I called him a name about his cleanliness... I said, I found a nick for you and told him that 🙂 He laughed and said, my mother calls me the same ... ha ha ha

and actually... it's a nick for girls, not for boys... lol


He loves his mom more than his dad. He wants that girls in his area go to school and educate themselves. ... being clean is just in him. I don't think he hates women, if, then I would rather say he likes them a bit too much. He has a controlling side though; it's a very dominant trait on him, but if I say something that shows dislike, he does soften and make jokes. It's just the way he is. He acts like a big brother sometimes. He wants to toughen me up in some ways because women in his area are out in the mountains fighting. I'm the make-up kind of gal and I like dressing feminine or stylish, but I also do fixing up, tiling, painting around my house. He is not used to my lipstick. He rather prefers to have it off before a kiss.. 😛

I don't know whether I should be entertained or offended by the asinine comments from the peanut gallery. I am really trying hard to bite my tongue though.

Posted by warholian
"Warholian -- I really like this guy, but will not allow myself to love him and I know it will be short-lived."

How does one go about not allowing themselves to fall in love? Please explain.

Warholian -- it's difficult to explain. I quite like him actually although we have a huge difference in our upbringing. If it weren't for his big heart, I wouldn't even have said hello to him for the second time. I had a huge crush on a Virgo man last year and I got badly hurt. After 4 months and consistent messages from CAP man, I finally agreed to go out with him. I felt that only HE could be the next man for me I would allow to touch me after Virgo man.


Initially, CAP used to bring up marriage and make comments on going to places together, even back home to meet his family and friends. But I am not quite there of trusting him. He lied to me at a number of occasions.

First lie: he told me he will go play soccer on valentines night, but later I found out he went dancing with a woman friend of his.

Second lie: his name! He never told me his real name. I found out through very reliable resources, and he still would not say, fumi... yes that's my real name sorry..... I don't even know what to call him anymore.


So if we meet and have a good time or have sex... he is quite in the league for me. I can do it over and over again and he is the guy who has endless energy. He is always ready like me -- that's all I look for, for now. I can't fool myself. He says I'm his girlfriend, but WESTERN culture and HIS culture are quite different. He offered that we both open up a business together...

So he sounds like I'm in, but on other occasions he says stuff that makes me feel like a temporary person to him. He wants me, but he doesn't want me...

hm... 😏

go ahead warholian... spill your guts. I will enlighten you whatever bothers you about my words.

cappy -- I live in Toronto, Canada.

I wish I could have a laugh with you about the lipstick... don't really know what it could mean in the UK 🙂

Warholian --

seriously... I very much appreciate your comments that make me understand I could mean something more to CAP man. I'm very comfortable with him, much more than I was with Virgo man. So it is a compliment to me to understand that he actually is showing me a side of his, that I have the privilege of knowing.

xun --

I said, we take off our shoes outside, but take them in. He doesn't allow me to take them in. I did it anyway by putting a plastic bag underneath.


I enter his house and he TELLS me "go wash your hands!"

I go into the kitchen, he TELLS me "wash your hands before you touch anything!".... he doesn't have to tell me that. I already wash my hands before I do anything. All I'm saying is he TELLING me this not at one, not at two, not at only three occasions... he's done it everytime until I told him.. listen... I'm a clean person blah blah blah... then when he repeated the same, I looked at him and we both laughed. (hope this is clear now) He doesn't realize sometimes that he has this control freakish habit.


As long as he gets it, I'm fine... it's just new to me. What does it has to do with scorps talking like there are thousands of ppl?

If I can bring light to myself or others -- and I never knew that this extra cleanliness or being ORDERED seems to be some kind of trait in CAPs -- then why not mention? I find it charming to see some agreeing with this. What's wrong with that? I want to know him better and find out if that's a common thing...


Thank you, Xun!

LOL @ cappy ...

now I get it 😄

Thank you, Pisces. That's very insightful.

Usually I post my thoughts to bring some construct to what is in abstract in my head. It gives me a clearer picture once I see it black on white and I get responses. If something doesn't feel right, then there possibly is something wrong.


As my last post stated, he is a liar. I should remember that.

oh my dear cappy...

I so appreciate your utmost sensitive post. I wish he would be like you. 🙂 I had to end with him today. I think he is a manipulator. He didn't even reply, which is good. I don't trust him.. I strongly believe he has a different agenda.


The day before yesterday he was pretty nasty to me online. I told him off... then he said.. "I'm luv'n this"... will see you soon... kisses. Yesterday I was online. He logged in with a hello -- I think only to test if I was still game -- then he requested cybersex. I said, am not into these things... If you want sex, let's make a date. He said, I have to leave... I said, fine. Today he ignored me online. I can't play these games any longer.

The previous guy (Virgo) I was with, used to do the disappearing games on me. Everything was on HIS terms. You know what I'd suggest to all women? If the guy goes flickery on them... he sure is not that into you.



I won't allow this treatment by guys who think they can just fill their ego with you. If he orders you around, or is only available when HE is available, but when YOU are available it becomes an issue..... SORRY NO LONGER!!!!

Up to the next, Mister...! One day those loosers may get turned down by all smart women and it won't be such fun for them anymore.

I SURE HOPE and TRUST THIS INTERNET TO SPREAD THE WORD!!!

X: "I've just been around enough scorpios to know that when there was really just 3 people in the room, they'll talk like there were thousands."


Fum: "As long as he gets it, I'm fine... it's just new to me. What does it has to do with scorps talking like there are thousands of ppl?"




It really doesn't matter to me if anyone else sees the irony in this .. it's funny as shit to me. Fum says .. as long as he gets it .. then doesn't get herself, implications.



lol

"he requested cybersex. I said, am not into these things... If you want sex, let's make a date."


"Today he ignored me online. I can't play these games any longer."





omg ... but, you could play if he wanted sex in person?

You're so fucked up Fumingly_Scorp, seriously ..

Sorry I'm just going to interrupt in here a little bit. You are insecure and he can see through your games of how much you want him. Thus, his attraction towards you is dead and he thinks you're just another female. He's probably having good time with other women as same as with you when you put it out. I didn't mean to say anything harmful but it's truth because I've experienced the same, that cap was controlling maybe not as much as yours and was acting disrespectful which is the number one reason I left him. I'm glad I'm over him and I'm open to date people who treat me right and make me feel happy. Don't be afraid to say NO to things that make you angry, upset and unhappy. Why be with someone who takes you for granted and treats you this way? Think about it...

Amen crazydiamond! You spoke the gospel d:

"1- Number one Rule: Don't sit on my bed with Day clothes on!"


-I can kinda agree with this. My mom was a stickler for this. Her motto "I don't know where your ass has been LMFAO!"

"2- I get ordered, "wash your hands!", when I enter his apartment."

For me just wash your hands before you go into my fridge.


"3- We both wash vegetables and fruit with soap, but he inspects mine. (we both are a bit on the nutty side, but he beats me)"


-No so much. lol

"4- Before a kiss he demands, "brush your teeth thoroughly!". He washed his brush with soap yesterday before brushing his teeth. Then I watched his process... lol... curiosity to his methods.... there was no spot inside his mouth unbrushed, even up to underneath his tongue was cared for with extreme attentiveness."

- I'd only ask that if your breathe was hot enough to curl back my eyelashes.


"5- many more clean freakish habits but his apartment is not super clean at all."


It sounds like he's obsessive compulsive about certain things.