Cap Sun Scorp Moon Doind My Head In...HELP!
This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by neatsta on Sunday, March 11, 2012 and has 6 replies.
I was pursued by this guy for a few months, and when we met I was just coming out of a LTR, which he was well aware of. I finally agreed to have coffee with him, and we really hit it off and started seeing each other. Things were very intense and we both weren't ready for it, at different times. He was in, I was half in and when I was like I'm now in, he pulled right back. We never slept together as things ended at the point they were either going to heat up/cool down.
He said things to me like 'I can see us getting married, kids, etc' and told me how happy I made him. His gestures were also very supportive of this. And he was very keen to remain friends. He is still settling into a new job, life, etc and I can more than understand the need to feel settled, etc before going into something. I'm also confident that he isn't sure if that is what he wants, as he has had a couple of bad previous relationships.
So we are now friends, and that is fine, but it's not a normal friendship. I feel he is conflicted about what he wants, the way he looks at me and questions he asks, etc all indicate he is keeping tabs on me.
I feel he has been playing games too, getting his friends to pop in and suss out situations, etc and while I have played along, the last few weeks I haven't been.
Since I've stopped, what I think are games have ramped right up.
Maybe it could be an attention thing, as all of them are basically trying to get me to ask him to catch up, or call him out on questionable behavior, which I do, and the latest seems like he is testing me to see if I'm jealous of him flirting with a mutual friend. He knows how I feel about him and that the ball is in his court should he wish to proceed. I really like him, however the games have got to a point where I am questioning the whole thing, as normal guys I associate with don't put females who they 'want to be with' through this.
I'm currently ignoring him, and he has sent me a couple of messages already today and unlike him at times, I usually reply in a timely manner. The side of him I see when we are together is worth it, but this other side I'm seeing isn't at all. Short of multiple personality disorder, I find it difficult that his behavior is coming from the same person!
I'm a libran (enough said, I'm sure), but I don't want to give up on him if this is a test, however I don't want to waste my time on him either if he isn't serious about me. It seems like way too much effort for a player.
He said things to me like 'I can see us getting married, kids, etc' and told me how happy I made him. His gestures were also very supportive of this. And he was very keen to remain friends. He is still settling into a new job, life, etc and I can more than understand the need to feel settled, etc before going into something. I'm also confident that he isn't sure if that is what he wants, as he has had a couple of bad previous relationships.
So we are now friends, and that is fine, but it's not a normal friendship. I feel he is conflicted about what he wants, the way he looks at me and questions he asks, etc all indicate he is keeping tabs on me.
I feel he has been playing games too, getting his friends to pop in and suss out situations, etc and while I have played along, the last few weeks I haven't been.
Since I've stopped, what I think are games have ramped right up.
Maybe it could be an attention thing, as all of them are basically trying to get me to ask him to catch up, or call him out on questionable behavior, which I do, and the latest seems like he is testing me to see if I'm jealous of him flirting with a mutual friend. He knows how I feel about him and that the ball is in his court should he wish to proceed. I really like him, however the games have got to a point where I am questioning the whole thing, as normal guys I associate with don't put females who they 'want to be with' through this.
I'm currently ignoring him, and he has sent me a couple of messages already today and unlike him at times, I usually reply in a timely manner. The side of him I see when we are together is worth it, but this other side I'm seeing isn't at all. Short of multiple personality disorder, I find it difficult that his behavior is coming from the same person!
I'm a libran (enough said, I'm sure), but I don't want to give up on him if this is a test, however I don't want to waste my time on him either if he isn't serious about me. It seems like way too much effort for a player.
Yeah, with the latest thing (the flirting with a mutual friend) he is assuming she is going to tell me (which she did) and there were pointed comments in some texts that were aimed directly at me, which she didn't realise. So I'm torn between ignoring it and pretending like I don't know, or calling him out on it. As a friend, which is really all I am (without the underlying stuff) it wouldn't bother me and the issue is null and void. He is keeping me at a level that is like a 'friend with intent' with the checking up, the way he acts when we hang out, etc, and because I do like him I don't want to react the wrong way. And I don't understand why he feels the need to get the reaction in the first place, as he knows how I feel! Anyone else, I would tell them to take a hike and grow up - maybe that is what he needs to hear LOL!
I'm not 100% sure on his time of birth, but it was close to midnight so on that basis it is below:
Rising Sign is in 27 Degrees Pisces
Sun is in 16 Degrees Capricorn
Moon is in 29 Degrees Scorpio
Mercury is in 01 Degrees Capricorn
Venus is in 13 Degrees Capricorn
Mars is in 14 Degrees Scorpio
Jupiter is in 19 Degrees Aquarius
Saturn is in 05 Degrees Sagittarius
Uranus is in 19 Degrees Sagittarius
Neptune is in 03 Degrees Capricorn
Pluto is in 07 Degrees Scorpio
N. Node is in 06 Degrees Taurus
I have tried to be consistent, but that stopped a few weeks ago which could be why the games are at a whole new level. We have spoken about what he needs to get sorted, and no amount of time can be put on that. He is making progress towards it though, and I have remained consistent with being available to talk about stuff and generally be there.
Like we were meant to hang out last week but he hurt himself, so I went out with some friends (backup plan) and he was quick to make a point to catch up with me asap that week. And whenever I go out with my friends clubbing or anything, I might not hear from him for a few days and then I get text messages from him throughout the night, including the 'wish I was with you' - which he could be if he wanted!!
From my understanding with the ex-s they were crazy, and with one of them he persisted to try and make it work after she cheated on him multiple times. So I don't know if that is why he's doing what he's doing? I tell him anything he wants to know, am genuine, etc and so all of this just about makes my head explode, which is why I'm trying to understand the behaviour before going
I'm not 100% sure on his time of birth, but it was close to midnight so on that basis it is below:
Rising Sign is in 27 Degrees Pisces
Sun is in 16 Degrees Capricorn
Moon is in 29 Degrees Scorpio
Mercury is in 01 Degrees Capricorn
Venus is in 13 Degrees Capricorn
Mars is in 14 Degrees Scorpio
Jupiter is in 19 Degrees Aquarius
Saturn is in 05 Degrees Sagittarius
Uranus is in 19 Degrees Sagittarius
Neptune is in 03 Degrees Capricorn
Pluto is in 07 Degrees Scorpio
N. Node is in 06 Degrees Taurus
I have tried to be consistent, but that stopped a few weeks ago which could be why the games are at a whole new level. We have spoken about what he needs to get sorted, and no amount of time can be put on that. He is making progress towards it though, and I have remained consistent with being available to talk about stuff and generally be there.
Like we were meant to hang out last week but he hurt himself, so I went out with some friends (backup plan) and he was quick to make a point to catch up with me asap that week. And whenever I go out with my friends clubbing or anything, I might not hear from him for a few days and then I get text messages from him throughout the night, including the 'wish I was with you' - which he could be if he wanted!!
From my understanding with the ex-s they were crazy, and with one of them he persisted to try and make it work after she cheated on him multiple times. So I don't know if that is why he's doing what he's doing? I tell him anything he wants to know, am genuine, etc and so all of this just about makes my head explode, which is why I'm trying to understand the behaviour before going
He sounds like a weirdo too lol.
I didn't realise! The last word was CRAZY!!
Thanks HEAPS for your insight
And yes, it is BS. Boys!!
I know how choosy he is, as I am also pretty particular. All the important stuff we share the same values/beliefs on, and we are both aware how hard that is to find in someone else. Another reason why he is still getting the time of day. It makes a bit of sense though, as he has often commented on how I have handled certain situations (in a good way), and how it is refreshing to see that I am family orientated, have morals, help people out, etc.
I'm leaning towards letting it slide for now (which is what I would do as a friend, given that's really all I am atm), and I fully expect him to mention it next time we catch up (again to see my reaction as he won't have received one) and I can address it from there. Being a capricorn, he is very observant (notices if I don't wear my usual earrings or how I will co-ordinate something) and doesn't forget anything - neither do I, which he also knows. And the questions will probe if there is information he needs to know - too bad I don't need any job interview experience, as after an hour with him I feel like I've sat about 3 interviews!!
I know he needs some time, and I am also enjoying having some time to myself, so at the beginning of the year, I decided to give it 6 months and re-evaluate from there. I am not one of these people who can do this indefinitely, as there are plenty of fish in the sea when you go fishing! I'm doing my best to be patient and remain level-headed, but every so often it gets the better of me!!
On a side note, would it be expected for him to be a bit insecure/intimidated about some things? And go through extreme ups and downs while he is trying to get settled into his life?
Thanks HEAPS for your insight
And yes, it is BS. Boys!!I know how choosy he is, as I am also pretty particular. All the important stuff we share the same values/beliefs on, and we are both aware how hard that is to find in someone else. Another reason why he is still getting the time of day. It makes a bit of sense though, as he has often commented on how I have handled certain situations (in a good way), and how it is refreshing to see that I am family orientated, have morals, help people out, etc.
I'm leaning towards letting it slide for now (which is what I would do as a friend, given that's really all I am atm), and I fully expect him to mention it next time we catch up (again to see my reaction as he won't have received one) and I can address it from there. Being a capricorn, he is very observant (notices if I don't wear my usual earrings or how I will co-ordinate something) and doesn't forget anything - neither do I, which he also knows. And the questions will probe if there is information he needs to know - too bad I don't need any job interview experience, as after an hour with him I feel like I've sat about 3 interviews!!
I know he needs some time, and I am also enjoying having some time to myself, so at the beginning of the year, I decided to give it 6 months and re-evaluate from there. I am not one of these people who can do this indefinitely, as there are plenty of fish in the sea when you go fishing! I'm doing my best to be patient and remain level-headed, but every so often it gets the better of me!!
On a side note, would it be expected for him to be a bit insecure/intimidated about some things? And go through extreme ups and downs while he is trying to get settled into his life?
Thanks again And yes, after doing some reading I totally agree!
And yes, after doing some reading I totally agree!Ok, so I have progress. We started dating a few weeks ago and things are going really well. He seems very happy and not conflicted at all about things which is great - it's almost like seeing a changed person. And I do feel like he is letting me into his life even more, which is nice.
To me it is a bit too early to tell, but given the months of conflict, etc I've watched him endure, is this change likely to stick around? I know once a decision has been made, he tends to stick to it, but I'm a bit cautious and don't know how much of it is my insecurities with myself or the situation in general or a bit of both. I find him quite hard to read emotionally and so while I think we both have a fair bit invested in each other, and as for his actions they would definitely cement that theory, I still find myself questioning it!
To me it is a bit too early to tell, but given the months of conflict, etc I've watched him endure, is this change likely to stick around? I know once a decision has been made, he tends to stick to it, but I'm a bit cautious and don't know how much of it is my insecurities with myself or the situation in general or a bit of both. I find him quite hard to read emotionally and so while I think we both have a fair bit invested in each other, and as for his actions they would definitely cement that theory, I still find myself questioning it!
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