Cappies...do you feel you are liked?

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by lnana04 on Thursday, October 10, 2013 and has 64 replies.
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IRL, I feel I am loved by those closest to me(family and friends), but I don't feel I am genuinely liked by anybody really...mom and dad included.
I just pissed my sister off I'm sure, which kind of made me think about this.
How do you all feel?
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A couple people like me but I feel most people don't.
My dad likes me.
My mom is confused by me.
My sister puts up with me.
The scorp likes me most of the time.
My son likes me.
My best friend and her boyfriend both like me.
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Ohh lnana.. I like you.. So quit your sniffling..
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Capgirl and Synapse how does that make you both feel?
I know we can be sensitive sometimes, but I have an example to show I'm not exaggerating. There's a girl at work who I've talked to for months now. We would walk outside on our breaks together, talk about the events we are going to, just talk. Well I don't have a car(I don't drive), and she does. For the past few weeks I'll walk to the store and she'll drive to the same store. It amazes me everytime I see her in there that she has NEVER asked if I wanted a ride. It's things like that that makes me wonder where I stand with people...like I don't think I'm genuinely liked by her.
Its almost worse with family.
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Posted by TaurGuy
Ohh lnana.. I like you.. So quit your sniffling..


Awww, I like you too Taurguy lol. Thanks for always being so sweet!
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I feel noone likes and everyone hates and this is a good thing coz i like to be hated coz it actually shows what ppl are really like. There are people who know me and I know them and they are the ones that are my friends so it as long as my friends and I are on the same page thats all that matters to me in regards to that.
Myex said I was heartless and yeh after thinking about what he had said I must agree with him, following reasons why-
- I am heartless coz I dont want or need a relationship
- I am heartless coz I dont care about other peoples opinions
- I am heartless coz I think of only what it is I want and nothing else(selfish some call it)
- I am heartless coz I like to help others when and where I can and it gets mistconstrued as me wanting somthing that I actually dont, ppl like that drive batshit.
- I am heartless coz I actually care about what ppl are going through and prefer to help when and where I can, obviously there are some ppl that no matter what I can not help due to their own hangups.
- I am heartless coz I agree with myex and with what he said.
Write it a hundred times eheh? (hey is that a new e-word... eheh?
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Posted by tiziani
Caps are a tough crowd. If you're nice to them off the bat, they don't trust you. Then they stick around, give you sarcy comments and if you give them banter back they get sensitive and go all silent.


lol. yeah. I won't say we are the easiest people to deal with.*sigh*
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This is exactly what I am talking about-
Inana04- Why would you even think that someone would offer you a ride? Just coz they have a car? You would probably be thankful that they didnt offer you a ride, like that song 'riders of the storm' from the doors Jim Morrison, could be killer in disguise you know, Inana04.
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Like why even let someone drive you around? They could be killer in disguise, You never know Inana04! My advice is to count your lucky stars that you never got into that car ever and had a ride with that thing, ugh gives me cold shivers just dont ever set foot into it hey? Lucky you never got asked my dear.
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Posted by lnana04
Capgirl and Synapse how does that make you both feel?
I know we can be sensitive sometimes, but I have an example to show I'm not exaggerating. There's a girl at work who I've talked to for months now. We would walk outside on our breaks together, talk about the events we are going to, just talk. Well I don't have a car(I don't drive), and she does. For the past few weeks I'll walk to the store and she'll drive to the same store. It amazes me everytime I see her in there that she has NEVER asked if I wanted a ride. It's things like that that makes me wonder where I stand with people...like I don't think I'm genuinely liked by her.
Its almost worse with family.


I feel this same way about people.
But then I wonder if it's because I'm stand-offish, I'm quiet, maybe people think I don't like them.
But my work crowd is tough. Very clique-y. I sometimes reach out to other people who I think are not liked/ misunderstood (like me). I bet people at work think my friends are odd. Haha.
Sometimes it gets me down.
I hear you on the "heartless" thing. I'm heartless because I don't really care what other peoples struggles are and I mind my own business.
I think we are more difficult than we think, also.
I've come to realize I can really hurt people and I basically have no remorse most of the time.
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Don't internalize someones lack of common courtesy. Someone doesn't offer you a ride the thought shouldn't be 'what's wrong with me' it should be 'what a thoughtless person, what's wrong with HER'
Then go about your merry way.. Winking
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Sometimes I wonder whether Caps feel more comfortable with being disliked, like maybe in some way they confuse fear or unenthusiastic responses from people as a form of respect?
My Cap cousin and recently a Cap co-worker of mine both responded to friendliness or appreciation from others in ways that baffled me. For instance, I was visiting Seattle for the first time and my cousin, who used to live there, called me or face-timed with me everyday or sometimes twice a day...giving me really helpful tips on where to go and things to do. We're honestly not that close (and I secretly thought she was a Psychopath), so I was super grateful and very surprised that she would put in that kind of effort. Anyway I expressed how grateful I was and how amazing it was that she did that, we were face-timing when I did this, and it was like a light switch went off. I don't know if she got embarrassed or what but immediately she went back to being cold, aggressive and condescending towards me. I do not get it. I wonder if Caps feel threatened if people think they're nice or feel as if they're power and control diminishes if people see them in a friendly light...
My Cap co-worker...whatever it's a long story, but basically he went out of his way to do something nice and helpful to the work process, and I thought that was really cool. I told him, gave him props. Immediately he stops doing it and begins treating me harshly.lol BAFFLED.
So I don't know, aside from a Cap guy I knew in college who was high all the time, I don't find myself liking Capricorns (IRL) in the slightest. The Caps on here seem pretty cool, but sometimes I truly get the sense that Caps don't want to be liked, they want to be respected. Or maybe they feel safer with fear and respect...it's easier to control whereas being liked is flimsy and subjective and can easily be changed to dislike.
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My parents are both Cancers and my sister is a Leo with cancer moon. My brother is a Gemini with Leo moon and Asc.
So I've always been the odd one out.
I was really close with my dad growing up, because he's very quiet and we are similar.
My sister and mom are a lot alike. Both real dramatic. They fight a lot but they can relate to each other.
My mom says I'm "in my own little world", has always said that and really just doesn't "get" me.
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@RoseTheTaurus, you got a lot of it right actually. I'd much more rather be respected than liked. I also tend to think being liked limits my personal freedom and individuality...also bringing a feeling of obligation to most things, and goodness...I literally run from ANY obligations.
I'm weird like the Caps you've mentioned.*sigh* It's a combination of weirdness. If I'm complimented too much, I start to think about expectations. If I'm not complimented enough, I tend to get pissed lol. It's like ALL things have to be in a perfect balance or we get weird. I'm not even sure I know what the right balance is.
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@Inana04 I get the obligation bit, especially with new people. I can see how being liked can feel like you have to place limits on yourself in order to maintain it. It's like there's a whole new set of expectations you have to meet. I'm a moody person and it would exhaust me, if I felt I had to hide my bad moods, just because a new person has only witnessed my good moods.
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Posted by RoseTheTaurus
@Inana04 I get the obligation bit, especially with new people. I can see how being liked can feel like you have to place limits on yourself in order to maintain it. It's like there's a whole new set of expectations you have to meet. I'm a moody person and it would exhaust me, if I felt I had to hide my bad moods, just because a new person has only witnessed my good moods.


Yep!
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I think that's another thing....well for me atleast. Never wanting to "need" anybody *sigh.*
I hate when I'll notice something and eventually realize I may be the blame for the behavior towards me.
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Posted by capinc
Most of the cap women on this forum I really like. I can say some of the most ridiculous shit and it doesn't even faze them. In fact they usually just spit some ridiculous shit back and it's all good. Guys too.
Synapse and mini-me are good sports.


This is part of the reason I think I'm occasionally not liked by my Cap friend. He gets his feelings hurt by me every once in a while, not intentionally of course, which causes him to throw a verbal tantrum and I'll just laugh at it. Then it's like he tries to come a bit harder each time, saying harsher things, and Ill still laugh...although I think he went a little overboard recently. I'm not phased by him(in any way) at all, which is funny to him yet bothers him at the same time. He wants to see me break, I believe.
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Posted by capinc
Most of the cap women on this forum I really like. I can say some of the most ridiculous shit and it doesn't even faze them. In fact they usually just spit some ridiculous shit back and it's all good. Guys too.
Synapse and mini-me are good sports.


It really hurts my feelings when you call me mini me.... I feel like you dont take into account how sensitive I am..... *Looks expectantly at capinc* Can you hug me?
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I didn't hug either until I hugged my Taurus *melts.*
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I'm like that too. I can give a hot d@mn about a quote.
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Terrifically interesting and insightful thread. Thanks to all contributors.
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i like caps generally. smile
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Posted by capinc
Posted by CluelessCancer



Oh come on I talk about events and ideas with myself all day.
click to expand


yeah but this kind of saying is very hoity toity, and just puts down the average people and not to mention the simple people who just want to relax and talk about everyday life. Not try to brain storm stuff. If they want to brain storm then do puzzles and stuff, and go into politics or something. People just wanna sit at the coffee shop and read or chat with others.
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oh it wasn't serious?
ok well.....
cappy power! lmao
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Posted by CluelessCancer
Ok the Vibe Capricorns give, especially the women is that you don't need anybody. It seems you want to just have your own little world and stay in it. Whether it's friends, family, etc. It's very hard to get into your circle. That can be off putting. Also from a Cancers perspective you can be downright mean and you don't even know it.





I can see this.
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My friends and family that really know me like me and appreciate my off beat sense of humor. Sometimes, my sense of humor offends people in that it's dry and although I'm really joking, they take it as serious. I have to be careful to let people know it was a joke.
Then, I am a little standoffish, but it's because I'm not sure how people feel about me or I'm suspicious until I know more about people. And sometimes, I come across as judgmental and a little too opinionated (yeah, its true, lol!) when I'm really just trying to help and offer a different opinion on things. I'm great at playing Devil's Advocate, but people see it as raining on their parade.
My honesty is heart felt, my intentions are good and my viewpoint is realistic and pratical. People that know me appreciate these qualities, because they know I don't mean to hurt them or offend them. But people that don't know me, don't know how to take it and don't realize that sometimes what I say comes across as something different than what I meant. I'm sure there are a lot of people that don't like me.
In actuality, I'm very humorus, laid back and a very compassionate person. If people would take the time to get to know me, they see that.
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Outside of work everyone loves being around me. At work it's a different story, because I really dont like to waste time chit chatting about stupid irrelevant hallway gossip I've had people say I come off as anti social and even conceited. Some of my close friends from work have told me that they hated me because they felt that I thought I was too good to talk to anyone ( Id eat alone, talk to no one, and never whent to parties that werent work related.) All I needed to do to change all this was just put my head phones away once I was done with my work, force myself not to open youtube,facebook etc, and wait for me to get bored (Its never a long wait) I started staring at my desk neighboor untill she would ask " What?!" an I'd smile and say "Hi." then pretend I'd go back to work. Then did it again, by the third time she would just ignore me, i would get up and lean in and stare, she always laughs at this ^.^, I go over to random people and smack their back playfully and when they turned around angrily I'd smile and say SUP , and they'd smile too, now i know theyre names cuzz they asked me tobgo smoking with them like a day later. I even joke around with my managers, " Haley Dhaly I have an emergency ... Um... I used up all my break but my bosu is still craving nicotine, think you can process some service orders while i go smoke?" She just gives me extra time cuz I always exceed my goal though, and i dont ask for favors often ^.^. Anyway what I'm trying to get at is, All caps with an aries moon are loved, the others are cursed 0.0
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Bosu is meant to be "body" .... >.>
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Same here. I feel like everyone's against me half of the time. It gets so bad on some days that I don't even want to leave my house for fear that I can hear people's thoughts against me. I'm cool to be around my cousin and his friends, as well as my two other friends who are a Virgo and Taurus because I feel they aren't against me. And my two other friends who are a Scorpio and Pisces. Other than that I feel people don't like me and they are out to get me. Even I don't trust my own mom or brother because I feel like they never had respect for me in the first place. I love my sister though and I'm really open with her. I seem to have slight problems with talking to people, I could say more to them online or through a text. But in reality, I'm a bit scared to even talk to them.
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I feel loved, yea. I need quite a bit of love, so I try to be lovable by being loving. Lol
If there's anyone who I feel doesnt like me or is very indifferent... I know its because I havent warmed up to them and in effect they havent warmed up to me.... These are people on the fringe of my social circle or work circle.
I think... some people are go getters about the relationships in their life and others are the opposite. Some fall somewhere in the middle. I tend to be a driver, and I know I come off that way. I know I come off hard-to-approach. So I try to make up for it, by doing the approaching.
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Well i wont lie. It bothers me a bit. I think it bothers my mothers Cap ex too. Matter of fact, we didnt like eachother...yet on certain levels understood and respected eachothers pov.
Although our types are somewhat bothered we are not interested in changing...not in the least bit. I think its crazy how set in our ways some of us can be.
He's another one thats loved. When him and my mom stopped seeing eachother it had been years since he had been around the family. He walked in my aunts house and everyone screamed. My sister started crying lol. He's good for about 20min though...then he gets to acting like he run things smh. He'll appreciate all the love before trying to control it.
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Posted by CreepyPants
I try to be lovable by being loving.


Fact.
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Posted by truecap
My friends and family that really know me like me and appreciate my off beat sense of humor. Sometimes, my sense of humor offends people in that it's dry and although I'm really joking, they take it as serious. I have to be careful to let people know it was a joke.
Then, I am a little standoffish, but it's because I'm not sure how people feel about me or I'm suspicious until I know more about people. And sometimes, I come across as judgmental and a little too opinionated (yeah, its true, lol!) when I'm really just trying to help and offer a different opinion on things. I'm great at playing Devil's Advocate, but people see it as raining on their parade.
My honesty is heart felt, my intentions are good and my viewpoint is realistic and pratical. People that know me appreciate these qualities, because they know I don't mean to hurt them or offend them. But people that don't know me, don't know how to take it and don't realize that sometimes what I say comes across as something different than what I meant. I'm sure there are a lot of people that don't like me.
In actuality, I'm very humorus, laid back and a very compassionate person. If people would take the time to get to know me, they see that.


Truecap's explanation was very clear and true, I think.
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Posted by CluelessCancer
I don't want to have kiss her arse for me to be in her life


I really get this ^^
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Posted by CluelessCancer
ok question for you guys, my cap friend called me about a two weeks ago, so i texted her i'd call her back four days later on a saturday- I didn't
than recently i felt bad about it and texted her, no replies, i was just like hey can you text with me, i'm at work, can't really talk....
nothing.
how the fuk do you deal with a Capricorn, when you don't want to talk to them? Or anybody else for that matter?
I don't want to have kiss her arse for me to be in her life, i need her to accept the fact that i'm just doing me.
but i can tell...you know..or maybe i'm being overly analytical


Ugggh sigh CC - this has happened to me I'm convinced the cap sees that I'm avoiding them and will take twice as long to reply - trying to teach me a lesson or prove a point...
Yet they do it first n I only tried to mirror their behaviour
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Posted by Synapse
Everyone is a tool, literally.


The Cap motto : I USE
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Can't believe what?
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when i worked at a bank, i was told i needed to warm up too. LOLOLOL
it was actually that job that made me realize, and this is going to sound kinda bad but, if you want something from someone else (cooperation, business, obedience, etc ...love) you've gotta be likable enough for them to want what you have to offer in exchange.
i'm a pretty independent person, but my job isnt exactly independent. my success is very very reliant on my relationships with people. massively.
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it's also made me realize the importance of good relationships in attaining what i want in my personal life too.
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Posted by capinc
Ego, it's what keep me warm at night. ;-p


Must be exciting
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Maybe for the most part its just that we Caps are often too quiet and perhaps we sometimes look unapproachable. I've been told that i'm mean alot of times but really deep down i have the heart of a seed waiting to create a life of vivid flowers ready to carry a smile and make everyone comfortable with me. Nothing is wrong with you its just that they haven't taken the time to understand and appreciate you. But as we caps tend to love a challenge why not challenge yourself and show them they're wrong about you?
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And again Cappy you're romantic show your romantic side, chances are they probably are waiting to see that side of you.
Much love X0XO
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Posted by Synapse
Posted by CQ19
Maybe for the most part its just that we Caps are often too quiet and perhaps we sometimes look unapproachable. I've been told that i'm mean alot of times but really deep down i have the heart of a seed waiting to create a life of vivid flowers ready to carry a smile and make everyone comfortable with me. Nothing is wrong with you its just that they haven't taken the time to understand and appreciate you. But as we caps tend to love a challenge why not challenge yourself and show them they're wrong about you?


It's too easy to show them that they were wrong from the start.
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Yes but then again let's be honest with ourselves if we don't break the tough ice we will never find the warmth we're truly looking for. What's to lose its either you try and see what happens or you give them the upper hand and show them you're just cold when thats really far from what you are. Chances are you might be the one to discover you want out.
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wassup with the negative feedbacks yoo?
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well, cappy mother in law cooked for us tonight after we came back from the hospital.
how can you not love that? *huggles* ^_~
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mmmmm what did she make?

i'm about to make swedish meatballs n pasta lol
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Posted by CluelessCancer
WEll that's annoying as heck, cause i have no problem losing friends, i'm a loner anyways...damn she was alright too....
oh well...on to the next. i'm not going to jump when YOU want me too...just like I don't expect you to ...and she doesn't...really it's all about her own fuking timing.
now my Aries friend whom i hang out with lots, keep in constant contact, although her sag man just moved up here, so i know she's not going to have time for me, which i accept.



When u least expect it your cap friend will b back like nothing happened.. Maybe she's sulking cos u didn't reply whn u said u would.
I wouldn't worry she'll come around whn she wants oh n Aries will prob squeeze in a chat when she's ready to have a good long girly chat about her new squeeze!!
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Posted by Synapse
Posted by SamCancerGirl
Posted by CluelessCancer
ok question for you guys, my cap friend called me about a two weeks ago, so i texted her i'd call her back four days later on a saturday- I didn't
than recently i felt bad about it and texted her, no replies, i was just like hey can you text with me, i'm at work, can't really talk....
nothing.
how the fuk do you deal with a Capricorn, when you don't want to talk to them? Or anybody else for that matter?
I don't want to have kiss her arse for me to be in her life, i need her to accept the fact that i'm just doing me.
but i can tell...you know..or maybe i'm being overly analytical


Ugggh sigh CC - this has happened to me I'm convinced the cap sees that I'm avoiding them and will take twice as long to reply - trying to teach me a lesson or prove a point...
Yet they do it first n I only tried to mirror their behaviour


Lol, you don't try to mirror.. because the point WILL be proven.
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What happens then? If we didn't mirror the same behaviour how else does the other person see that their behaviour was wrong...when talking about it doesn't work
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Posted by CreepyPants
mmmmm what did she make?
i'm about to make swedish meatballs n pasta lol


a very warm dinner after a long rainy cold day:
beans, rice, vegetables:


simple and delicious!
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