Posted by StillWater
IDK. Some people sure find us worthy. When I commit to someone whether its a friend, s/o, or family member, they see the difference in the quality I provide. Even after I move on from them, I know I can come back and they'll welcome me with open arms because what I gave them was that good.
But, I'm trying to find someone who gives me something just as good as I am willing to give them, and that is hard to find.
We know the worth of others and the worth of ourselves, if those two don't match up there's no reason to stay.
Posted by VirgoDragirl
The problem with Capricorn is not trust, it is their tendency to feel that they are superior than others. If you feel superior than others, would you rely or trust on others? They have tendency to be super controlling and look down on other people. Now, I can't speak for the female Capricorns, just experience the male ones, one of them is my brother. But unless caps born rich, they will have problems committing to a marriage. They want everything to be perfect before they commit to marriage. Getting into the relationship is easy for them but to commit is not because once in a relationship the caps will see the imperfections of their partners. Unless their partners can convince them that such imperfection is reasonable or the partner is willing to work toward fixing that imperfection to make it perfect, the caps won't commit.
If you have relationship with a Capricorn, always be the prize worth winning for your Caps.
Posted by truecap
Why is it so hard for us to communicate deep feelings openly?
Posted by StillWaterPosted by aquapiscescuspPosted by truecap
Why is it so hard for us to communicate deep feelings openly?
Afraid of being hurt or rejected?
See, I wouldn't admit to this even if it was true.click to expand
Posted by truecapPosted by VirgoDragirl
The problem with Capricorn is not trust, it is their tendency to feel that they are superior than others. If you feel superior than others, would you rely or trust on others? They have tendency to be super controlling and look down on other people. Now, I can't speak for the female Capricorns, just experience the male ones, one of them is my brother. But unless caps born rich, they will have problems committing to a marriage. They want everything to be perfect before they commit to marriage. Getting into the relationship is easy for them but to commit is not because once in a relationship the caps will see the imperfections of their partners. Unless their partners can convince them that such imperfection is reasonable or the partner is willing to work toward fixing that imperfection to make it perfect, the caps won't commit.
If you have relationship with a Capricorn, always be the prize worth winning for your Caps.
I don't agree with those parts of what you said.
To take what you say here "unless a cap is born rich, they have problems committing". Utter bullarky.
There are LOTS of poor caps who are in committed relationships.
And you say a cap won't commit if there are imperfections in their partner, unless the partner is willing to change. Again, utter bull. Caps are realistic and we see the imperfections in our partners. The issue is not whether the partner is willing to change, but whether the cap can live with and accept the partners imperfections. Caps realize that people aren't perfect and we realize that people don't change. Thus, if we can't accept that imperfection and no matter how much effort that person makes, we know that person isn't going to change, then the delimna is can we live with said imperfections. Lots of times, yes. Sometimes no.click to expand
Posted by StillWaterThe user who posted this message has hidden it.
this was a good post. why did you hide it?click to expand
Posted by StillWaterPosted by aquapiscescuspPosted by truecap
Why is it so hard for us to communicate deep feelings openly?
Afraid of being hurt or rejected?
See, I wouldn't admit to this even if it was true.click to expand
Posted by truecapPosted by StillWaterPosted by aquapiscescuspPosted by truecap
Why is it so hard for us to communicate deep feelings openly?
Afraid of being hurt or rejected?
See, I wouldn't admit to this even if it was true.
WTH, I'll admit to it. Yes, it is a very scary thing to open up and take the risk of being rejected. However, I'm trying to learn that opening up only makes relationships stronger.
But, yes, creepy is still right, too. I'd never let that person know the fear.click to expand
Posted by DonumDeiPosted by aquapiscescusp
I don't know why everyone is so afraid of the obvious.
Goodness gracious,APC, you took the words out of my mouth!click to expand
Posted by StillWaterPosted by aquapiscescuspPosted by StillWaterPosted by aquapiscescuspPosted by truecap
Why is it so hard for us to communicate deep feelings openly?
Afraid of being hurt or rejected?
See, I wouldn't admit to this even if it was true.
OK SW, problem is everyone, EVERYONE is afraid of being hurt or rejected. It's not a huge revelation. Just like we all want to be loved or connect with another person. I don't know why everyone is so afraid of the obvious.
I don't know. It's complicated.click to expand
Posted by DonumDei
This thread reminds me of the one with a similar theme on Pisces board inquiring about Pisces preference(s) between "strength vs/or vulnerability". In truth, to me, true strength cannot exist without vulnerability, just as little can there be light without darkness, keeping in mind, this philosophy/approach is primarily addressing relationship dynamics.
Sometimes the inability to allow oneself to express it may stem from the environment we were raised n such a family nucleus, just as much as the social conditioning on a greater scale thus the conditioned fear of being misperceived as week which goes back to my initial statement in that it actually takes far greater strength/intestinal fortitude to not only invite trust into the relationship, but also honesty and transparency amongst myriad of other factors.
Baring in mind that we all operate on a different timeline, to demand other parties compliance when they are not ready is not only selfish but also exercise in futility. One should not, however, forget that relationships, healthy relationships, are not battlegrounds, instead, intended to be nurturing environment where your S/O is your ally and not a foe.
Posted by lnana04
I've never had good experiences opening up.
I tried just yesterday. I've been sitting on something that's been bothering me for a week now. I opened up to my friend about it, letting him know I was upset and why, and although he apologized, I was left feeling extremely petty. I'm not sure he fully understood the reason I was upset because I never really did get out how it made me "feel." I'm actually still confused about why it affected me so much.
To be honest, although I am sensitive and a bit emotional, I don't think I understand the depths of me own emotions...not enough to explain them without feeling like I've wasted everyone's time, mine included. It never fails. I end up feeling like a retard and the person is looking at me like "your upset about THAT?" so...
I don't think it's worth it for me personally, to open up, at-least not yet.
Posted by CaplovePosted by truecap
"Capricorns generally want to be loved and appreciated; but they may have a hard time letting someone know they feel this way"
"As a capricorn you must learn to communicate your deep feelings"
"In love, a capricorn may choose to stay lonely instead of risking vulnerability".
Yes, it's hard to let people know these things although I'm slowly learning that people can't read my mind and I need to verbally communicate my needs better and stop being so embarrassed about them.
I sometimes think that things are very obvious to others (a partner, for example) and that I'm subtlety telling them with my body language or through my eyes (but I fail miserably at this). And then when things don't go my way I get so upset and shut down or go cold because I feel they should just KNOW. LOL.
I really don't know what I'm so embarrassed about either. I think I'm afraid I'll be laughed at, criticized or that I'll be taken advantage of when I'm at my most vulnerable.click to expand
Posted by truecap
I think you're right, creepy.
My problem is when I try to express the deep feelings, somehow it comes out at about half of what I'm actually feeling and I tend to speak in a lighter less serious tone than I'm feeling. Not always. But sometimes and especially when I'm not feeling confident about how those feelings are going to be taken.
Something I need to work on. Like they say, awareness solves 90% of the problem.
Posted by Caplove
Yes, it's hard to let people know these things although I'm slowly learning that people can't read my mind and I need to verbally communicate my needs better and stop being so embarrassed about them.
I sometimes think that things are very obvious to others (a partner, for example) and that I'm subtlety telling them with my body language or through my eyes (but I fail miserably at this). And then when things don't go my way I get so upset and shut down or go cold because I feel they should just KNOW. LOL.
I really don't know what I'm so embarrassed about either. I think I'm afraid I'll be laughed at, criticized or that I'll be taken advantage of when I'm at my most vulnerable.
Posted by lnana04
I've never had good experiences opening up.
I tried just yesterday. I've been sitting on something that's been bothering me for a week now. I opened up to my friend about it, letting him know I was upset and why, and although he apologized, I was left feeling extremely petty. I'm not sure he fully understood the reason I was upset because I never really did get out how it made me "feel." I'm actually still confused about why it affected me so much.
To be honest, although I am sensitive and a bit emotional, I don't think I understand the depths of me own emotions...not enough to explain them without feeling like I've wasted everyone's time, mine included. It never fails. I end up feeling like a retard and the person is looking at me like "your upset about THAT?" so...
I don't think it's worth it for me personally, to open up, at-least not yet.
Posted by lnana04Posted by truecap
I think you're right, creepy.
My problem is when I try to express the deep feelings, somehow it comes out at about half of what I'm actually feeling and I tend to speak in a lighter less serious tone than I'm feeling. Not always. But sometimes and especially when I'm not feeling confident about how those feelings are going to be taken.
Something I need to work on. Like they say, awareness solves 90% of the problem.
Yes! It's what happened to me yesterday. By the time I got in front of him I was smiles and giggles, when a few days ago I was darn near in tears. That always happens. Im much less serious when I get it out, and it could be because I personally don't get it out as soon as it happens. I wait to absorb what I feel, then wait for a time when I'm comfortable enough to talk about it. By then, I am somewhat over it, but the way I lighten it doesn't help in that person taking my sensitivity seriously.click to expand
Posted by lnana04Posted by truecap
I think you're right, creepy.
My problem is when I try to express the deep feelings, somehow it comes out at about half of what I'm actually feeling and I tend to speak in a lighter less serious tone than I'm feeling. Not always. But sometimes and especially when I'm not feeling confident about how those feelings are going to be taken.
Something I need to work on. Like they say, awareness solves 90% of the problem.
Yes! It's what happened to me yesterday. By the time I got in front of him I was smiles and giggles, when a few days ago I was darn near in tears. That always happens. Im much less serious when I get it out, and it could be because I personally don't get it out as soon as it happens. I wait to absorb what I feel, then wait for a time when I'm comfortable enough to talk about it. By then, I am somewhat over it, but the way I lighten it doesn't help in that person taking my sensitivity seriously.click to expand
Posted by DonumDeiPosted by aquapiscescusp
we're so in tune
*chuckles*
Hi5 to that!click to expand
Posted by truecap
Why is it so hard for us to communicate deep feelings openly?
Posted by truecap
Why is it so hard for us to communicate deep feelings openly?
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