Capricorn Male disappeared could you help?

I met this guy on holiday about two weeks ago. For some wierd reason I kept going over to him to say hi how he was etc. He was in my hotel. Im never usually like that im usually very hard to get lol. Anyway we spoke more and more and we started to get it together. Loads of times i thought he didnt like me. He would have loads of conversation for everyone but me. There was a really pretty girl that he so much conversation for but me hardly anything lol.

But at the end of the evening he would always ask me to go to the pub with him. There was once when the girl said for him to go to the pub with her friends he asked if i wanted to come. Confusing!!

Anyway we got together spent alot time together. When he was a bit drunk and we were alone he would say im a bit mad but he liked that about me, he could really be himself around me and i dont judge him or get upset by his cheeky comments, he said he was comfortable with me if there was silence. He said he wanted us to meet up when we got back i asked why and he said cos he could imagine going out with his mates and me and he wants to see things and go places with me. He was still not chatty and distant the next day so i was never sure.

He text me as soon as i was home asked when could he see me. We arranged the weekend and he sent texts and we spoke for ages on the phone. He said i cant wait to see you, looking forward to seeing you all through the week. He even said one more day to go and when the day came he cancelled. I couldnt believe it he was tired working or something. He said can we do next sunday instead. I said ok and the same text in the week called speaking for ages and then called two days before to say he couldnt make it. I said to him if you dont want to meet me just say. and he said if i didnt want to meet you i wouldnt be ringing. How about in the week straight from work.

I dont understand it. Anyway he called me and he said he had to go someone was at the door like a delivery man i said cant you still speak to me. He said hed call me back he did. But i stupidly didnt realise my mum was serving dinner i said sorry can i call you back in a sec. He got irritated and then said why did i get him to call back etc.. speak to you later then. And when i called back nothing he didnt answer. I text a couple of days later to see how he was he didnt reply and today i sent one last text saying sorry if he thought i was being funny i hadnt realised everyone was ready to eat. Hope he has a gud day

Sorry obviously im talking too much. Anyway I havent heard back from him.

Im going to leave it cos i feel a bit of a stalker but what—? is it over before its begun. Anyone have similar experiences. Your advice would be appreciated thank you. xxxx

Do you think thats it then? I miss him. Its horrible. Iv never missed anyone honest. I used to think i was cold hearted. Iv had lots of loves and i never missed any of them. I could honestly chase him. And ive never been like that either. I thought maybe he was doing what the posts say disappearing and cancelling etc..

Its all so wierd. I know i cant be a stalker and i have to leave it but do you think he may get in touch again?

I'm an advanced cap, meaning I don't do things like that anymore to people... but truthfully we seem humble but were quite arrogant because we think thats how you get "props." So don't feed our ego too much, but be gentle because even in arrogance we try to think of you. Really confused individuals emotionaly because sometimes it does attract women then it drives them away. Basically without degrading yourself keep coming towards us...keep your confidence no matter what. We can bring out the worst in peopled because were so insecure with our own emotions and how to express them. Thats why he switched up after he expressed him self he felt out in the open and insecure. We realize things when its too late. But really if someone doesn't treat a person well what advice would you give (lets say it was your daughter).

This astrology stuff is a merry go round, really just do whats right not what your sign says. Personally I think its a trick to keep us doing the wrong things but feel its ok. Rule of thumb I learned. Do whats right and you have success do whats wrong and ultimately you will fail. Just my take. hope this helped

HI thanks everyone for your posts it is really helping me. Ive read a few posts and alot of what is said is true he makes me feel unbelievably secure that I wanted to text him. I can honestly say I would never have sent two texts after someone hadnt returned my call. Its wierd but sometimes I feel like when i show him i care he likes it but it scares him too so im learning to be careful what i say. I apologised because then that clears that up. It wasnt pleading it was sorry if you thought i was being funny the other nite this and that happend. Have a gud day xxx. I didnt want him to see i had any attitude I wanted him to see that i would still be happy to hear from him but that i wouldnt be pressuring him. Thats it i wont do anything else cos i will be pressuring him. By the way im a taurus.

The week that he said to me cant wait to see you etc. I replied the same back each time he said it to me and i think i scared him off if its true what they say about caps. The next time i told him about getting my new job and he replied saying thats great. I said i think that deserves a kiss lol. He cancelled that nite. Ive shown him im happy and care now but nothing mushy or pressuring. All i can say is im learning what not to say lol.

He told me he felt comfortable with me he could be himself he opened up to me even by saying he couldnt wait to see me but then i think he backed off. I have to show him that he can still be himself with me by leaving him alone with me having no attitude for him to do what he does, not speaking to me etc.. Is this right? xxx

Thanks archer.

Wow i have power to dictate my terms. I think its far too early to be dictating anything. Hes not even my boyfriend. And do you honestly think after you have dictated your terms thats it your man will never mess up again.

Im not affected by the fact that he hasnt called me back. Who am i to demand a call back from him. Im affected that he may not want to speak to me again so ive done what i wanted to do and leave it with the ball in his court and in his eyes im happy speaking to him or not speaking to me.

This backbone thing your on about. If he called me a name. Sure id jump up tell him i wont be spoken to like that and leave. But a backbone with him not calling me. Am i not displaying that by not pleading with him, getting annoyed and by still being happy and leaving him to it..

I totally agree with what you said now is the time to stop the texting. I am not disagreeing with that. There will not be any more texts from me. Sure im happy even though hes messed up and id still speak to him but im not going to beg him to speak to me no way. Im far too happy and busy in my life to do that lol... So i totally agree with what you mean xxxx

I completely understood where you were coming from. And people use these for reassurance and advice. You gave very good advice i completely agree on your take apart from the dictating terms bit. But everyone is different. I went to rehersals tonight for a show that i am in and he phoned whilst i was busy twice so i missed his calls.

I called him back when id finished and got the missed calls and he didnt answer. Hes probably sleeping or busy too. So there you go hes a man and does exactly what he wants and i handled it from my own point of view as though im not his keeper. Im here but im not gonna beg.

Now i have no idea how this will turn out. Maybe he wont be happy i didnt get his calls who knows. But I wont do anything now and just wait and see what happens. MEN!!!!! xxxxxxx

"I Im never usually like that im usually very hard to get lol. Anyway we spoke more and more and we started to get it together. Loads of times i thought he didnt like me. He would have loads of conversation for everyone but me. There was a really pretty girl that he so much conversation for but me hardly anything lol."

Well you pursued him, men know that pretty women get tons of attention so naturally him ignoring you would PULL you towards him, you created a direct imbalance because you were the one that sort of made yourself completely available and easy to have, CAP men need a bit of a challenge...if he was ignoring you then you should have allowed him to keep on ignoring you until he came to you...not that what happened was bad but you sort of created this imbalance that set things up to fall apart...you ended up chasing his attention and in the end you allowed him to choose you instead of you choosing him...he flipped it on you LOL

"But at the end of the evening he would always ask me to go to the pub with him. There was once when the girl said for him to go to the pub with her friends he asked if i wanted to come. Confusing!!"

No not confusing, he liked you in the beginning but because he didn't fall all over you like so many other men you assumed he was disinterested, he was always interested but HE'S LAZY he didn't want to do all the pursuing, the one who pursues is the one with LESS power and so many men are understanding this and opting not to chase women LOL plus he doesn't have to FEEL rejected and you sort of accepted him without him having to do much work to show you he's worth your time...

"Anyway we got together spent alot time together. When he was a bit drunk and we were alone he would say im a bit mad but he liked that about me, he could really be himself around me and i dont judge him or get upset by his cheeky comments, he said he was comfortable with me if there was silence. He said he wanted us to meet up when we got back i asked why and he said cos he could imagine going out with his mates and me and he wants to see things and go places with me. He was still not chatty and distant the next day so i was never sure."

He was drunk, you can't believe anything a man says when alcohol plays a part in it, that is why he's back tracking now because he said things that he's not prepared to deal with, we all know the effects of alcohol on people, I wouldn't have taken him seriously...

"He text me as soon as i was home asked when could he see me. We arranged the weekend and he sent texts and we spoke for ages on the phone. He said i cant wait to see you, looking forward to seeing you all through the week. He even said one more day to go and when the day came he cancelled. I couldnt believe it he was tired working or something. He said can we do next sunday instead. I said ok and the same text in the week called speaking for ages and then called two days before to say he couldnt make it. I said to him if you dont want to meet me just say. and he said if i didnt want to meet you i wouldnt be ringing. How about in the week straight from work."

I dont understand it. Anyway he called me and he said he had to go someone was at the door like a delivery man i said cant you still speak to me. He said hed call me back he did. But i stupidly didnt realise my mum was serving dinner i said sorry can i call you back in a sec. He got irritated and then said why did i get him to call back etc.. speak to you later then. And when i called back nothing he didnt answer. I text a couple of days later to see how he was he didnt reply and today i sent one last text saying sorry if he thought i was being funny i hadnt realised everyone was ready to eat. Hope he has a gud day"

Is every guy on the planet reading the game...seems so...listen stop badgering this guy to meet up, he's broken a date, he has you acting like his angry girlfriend, which kills attraction, stop calling him, stop texting him and stop making dates with him, he's setting himself up to be THE PRIZE, he's disappointing you and then building himself up by making himself available and then disappointing you, it's to heighten the level of excitement in YOU and to make you believe he's more important than he really is, like he's this great catch or something...

He's ignoring your text and your calls, he's setting up dates and then breaking dates, he's being impatient with you all of those are signs that he's not serious...stop chasing him, stop kissing his ass by apologizing and get on with your life, I swear these men are learning how to bring desperation out of a woman...hmmmm I can't hate on the game though, it seems to work LOL

It's not so much as he's not interested because he's calling but you cannot act desperate and sit around trying to figure out what he's thinking, don't get stuck on this guy until you know who he is, what his intentions are because right now he hasn't really showed you too much of anything. He actually is more into you then you could imagine but he has to make it seem that everything is more important so he won't get hooked in and fall in love quickly, so a man will shift his focus onto other women, date and go out and hang with friends and then come back to you when he's not so thirsty and akward over you. I wouldn't even worry about it....stop questioning him when he says can I call you back, just don't care either way, he's not your man and he hasn't proven a dayum thing for the exception of the fact that he's reading mysteries The Game book and all the count less other books that teach men how to be an alpah male LOL

Thanks tiki. Im not really sure what your trying to say with the whole how we got together thing. He never ignored me as such what i mean is like you say wasnt coming over to me. But in the end although you say they want a challenge how comes it started up with me doing the relationship no no's.

I agree with you hes lazy. Im not sure hes a game player. Because he makes me feel secure. Ive been around game players and i honestly think he just does what he wants. He knew i wanted to see him so he doesnt have to break dates to see that. But agree with what you have said. From now on I will be happy whatever sure fine cool etc.. Not do the angry thing. Thats rubbish and i havent really done that loads at least maybe once. The keep on texting him thing was me showing him that it wasnt bothering me and i was just being normal with him i guess.

Anyway i cant be something im not and play mind games with myself. He called when i was busy and i called straight back he didnt answer oh well hes probably busy. But maybe you would think i should have taken longer to call him back etc. But why iv just been normal with him. I think thats the key. I know they like the chase thing but for crying out loud if thats all thats gonna get a man he should have persued the pretty blonde girl. In the end we just got on and had fun and i think he likes that im not hard work. But like you say i need to adopt the less bothered by his moves etc.

I have acted so differently to how i would normally. You can say its due to him doing his own thing and waiting for me to come to him. But id usually be like stuff that he can come to me etc.. But for some reason I acted so differently. And its proven to me that there isnt a right or wrong way of doing things with men. Infact iv done everything that i would tell someone not to do. I actually cant believe i text him after he didnt return my call. Another dating no no. But i did it and he has still rang. I give up with men i cant work them out lol. But like you say im going to relax alot more now do my own thing and if he bloody doesnt call me back again.. ill leave him to it. and if i want to text him after a few days or ring him then i will. But then i would stop there like i did before. That is normal begging him to talk to me is not! and i have never done that. Like you say its not a problem im busy and happy call me back when your free. And another thing im starting to realise isnt a great idea is having terms and conditions. Im a

Im annoyed if you dont call me back, im annoyed if you break dates. I am wonderful if you do that again then im going to disappear. He will do it again and again and if i dont want to disappear and can handle him for who he is like you say i need to have no attitude about it thats cool. If anything that would stop him from doing it no show no audience.

I think guys do it on purpose anyway to see if your going to turn out to be a drama queen act like he owes you something. So thank you very much for your advice and i tell you something else this drama queen stuff regardless of whether it turns a man off. It doesnt make you happy and secure. But by handling his no reply stuff with being normal makes me feel normal and happy. xxxxx

YOU SAI😱:I kept going over to him to say hi how he was etc. He was in my hotel. Im never usually like that im usually very hard to get lol. Anyway we spoke more and more and we started to get it together. Loads of times i thought he didnt like me. He would have loads of conversation for everyone but me. There was a really pretty girl that he so much conversation for but me hardly anything....

Thanks tiki. Im not really sure what your trying to say with the whole how we got together thing. He never ignored me as such what i mean is like you say wasnt coming over to me. But in the end although you say they want a challenge how comes it started up with me doing the relationship no no's."

Sorry lemme clarify, my head is spinning and my thoughts are combobulated, I have been swamped with dxp emails and may have read through this thread quickly...please forgive

What I mean is this, you chased him by making yourself to accessible once you had doubts you allowed your gaurd down and let him in too quickly, you noticed he wasn't giving you the proper attention you deserve because you normally act hard to get which most likely is a way to attract your male target but this guy didn't bite and you went to him and you kept going to him, that sets you up to work hard to be in his life, your not allowing him to show you by pursuing you that he's attracted to you...many women do this and I'm not saying it's wrong ok but it's the hardest way to behave with a man....honestly I'm really thinking this guy feels friendship or he would follow through with you...

" i think he likes that im not hard work."

No he needs hard work to respect you, he needs to put in work or he will feel your too easily led and will lose respect and interest,you have to be a little bit difficult to have or he will become neglectful towards you...

Just be yourself, be natural and not focused on him and his actions, anything that he does that cuases you frustration causes you to feel insecure and in doubt then you have to pull back and get back into your own life and keep your feet on the ground and not get wrapped into him and his actions, if he doesn't want to return your call then don't worry about it and stay focused on you and your life, once you get wrapped into trying to interpret his every move you come off as well stalkerish and obsessive over a man and a man can feel that and not want to be around you...call him once leave a message and don't call nor text him anymore, dont' chase him...if he calls give him 5 minutes and let him go, don't hold onto his every word and don't hang on the phone too long, you have A LIFE to tend to... let him force his way into your life, your world or he doesn't want anything from you...

Thanks very much tiki.

I completely agree with you. And i hope anyone who has a hard time dealing with men reads that. That is excellent advice.

Be myself. Dont have to play games but just get on with my own life. I think what happens is the men are fine one minute then ooh thats a bit different he usually returns my call and texts me back. I think now that he has done it and got in touch im more prepared this time. Last night when i called him back he didnt return my call and hasnt done so far today. The last time I texted the next evening asking how he was. Im not going to that this time its not so much a shock now. As last time i didnt beg and ask him whats going on being dramatic and bothered by it its not getting my back up that hes done it again. I reakon this would be the time when some women would text or get annoyed like what are you playing at etc.. But like you said this time im going to do even less than i did before by doing nothing.

Like you say pulling back. I think men do this on purpose and hes probably going to want to try it again after calling me to see what i do. You know get annoyed why he keeps missing my calls. If i really need to i could text him in a few days and say how you doing? and leave it at that. I reakon this would show it really didnt bother me that he didnt return my call and im not playing his game im just being normal as i would normally do and text him see how he is. But that would be it. You may disagree with that. Do you think thats chasing because i dont. Because i think thats normal not being affected by his not calling that you never speak to him again until he contacts you. That will start a game and who gives in first blah blah. Been there done that. Actually once i played the game to perfection this guy chased me around when we got together you know i never text him first or called him first for three months. He was after me big time. So girls think great hes a keeper and he really likes me. NOPE!! It was all rubbish. He finished with me after 3 months. So my advice is not to fall into that trap of if im hard to get and he comes after me hes likes me because more times than not in my experience he likes the challenge.

If a guy doesnt like you texting him coming to him abit get rid of him thats what i say. Honestly cos those men are only interested in the chase.

Wots the other thing oh yeah dont sleep with a man too soon. I went out with a guy for 3 months he chased me i was hard to get and whe

and when i felt our relationship was ready to make the move he dumped me. The next time i met someone i slept with them straight away cos i thought this person can dump me before i fall for them. And guess what i was with him 4 years later.

Now i made it hard work for the first one to respect me work for me and boy did he. and look what happend. And one more thing i met this guy the other nite he asked for my number and to take me out to dinner. He came to me etc.. I didnt really answer his question I was polite about it and happy etc. Did he hang around me cos i was a challenge and work for me no.

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I hope im not confusing you cos ive said alot lol.
But my take is this. Forget about being a challenge cos thats what youl end up being a challenge. Dont play games. Be yourself. Text him see how he is if you want to. Dont get moved by all that he does. Be easy going. Dont ever appear to question him, dictate to him, get angry. Trust him. Dont chase him by needing to know whats going on and where do i stand. If he dosent call you back. You could send a text in a few days see how his day is going or something but thats it. xxxxxxxxx

Your naturally a challenge if your focused on your life, not his life but yours, that means your not worried about why he's not calling or responding back but what you won't do is desperately seek him out because if you do then you are sending the wrong message to him and he will treat you second class like he's sort of doing now

The more you contact him and the less he chooses to not respond you are setting yourself up to get strung along and hurt, you will naturally begin to feel uneasy, invalidated, you will naturally feel like your not good enough when a man isn't sending his energy towards you and making a full on effort to get to know you so I would suggest you stop reaching out to a man that is not considerate enough to respond back in an appropriate time frame.

If you call and he doesn't respond because we both know he hasn't forgot you that means he's deliberately choosing to ignore you for whatever reason and if you continue to reach out to him ignoring his lack of interest in communicating, he will reject you, the rejection keeps you chasing him by calling periodically, STOP IT, you are sending this you are desperate kind of vibe and honestly he will begin to avoid you because it—s annoying behavior, your behavior will send this ewwwwwwww vibe-feeling to him and he will simply not want to have anything to do with you and avoid you. You have to stop fixating on his behavior and focus more on you and your behavior. If he calls you and doesn't say call me back via voicemail I wouldn't call him back because him calling could be by mistake, could be out of boredom, could be to waste 10 minutes until the other girl shows up, let him say hey call me, I really wanna talk to you that way you will know he's really interested or is he simply wasting time. He's called you, left no message and when you call him back he doesn't respond by picking up so stop calling him back unless he specifically say call me back that way you won't be spinning your mental wheels on this touch and go thing...

You are chasing him if he's not giving you the same amount of interest or more. Stop calling and texting or you will CREATE this needy clingy desperate vibe and you will invite mistreatment into your life. Lean back. let him be a guy, do what guys do and let him make an effort to get your attention and get into your life. If he's not doing that then he's really not that into you and you shouldn't waste much more time on it. The more time you invest, he will become a habit for you, a bad one at that.

Cap men can be a bit complicated, too easy he's avoiding, too hard he's avoiding, there has to be balance...

Forget this dude..... not worth yor time. Obviously he can't get his stuff together to actually MAKE the time to actually SEE you. Talk is cheap....... actions speak louder than words. And he wants to get mad at you for having to eat dinner when he called back— Is he 12— You have a life, don't adjust it to his schedule. Cappies are about control. If they control you in the beginning, then they can be how ever they choose to be like with you until it's the end. If I were you, I would tell him to get a clue and then delete his number......

Posted by michele3R
I hope im not confusing you cos ive said alot lol.
But my take is this. Forget about being a challenge cos thats what youl end up being a challenge. Dont play games. Be yourself. Text him see how he is if you want to. Dont get moved by all that he does. Be easy going. Dont ever appear to question him, dictate to him, get angry. Trust him. Dont chase him by needing to know whats going on and where do i stand. If he dosent call you back. You could send a text in a few days see how his day is going or something but thats it. xxxxxxxxx

I can suggest that you do what feels right for you but if you see it's not working..do something else, don't bang a dead horse by repeating the same things, that's insanity, if he's not calling you back then don't keep calling, if he's responding in a half assed way such as he calls but he's not leaving a message or not responding to your calls and text messages that is your que to stop, now it's really up to you to continue reaching out periodically even if he's not responding but that leaves little room for him to pursue you, you end up chasing him whether you meant to or not, he has to make an effort or you will not feel cherished..

Thanks Tiki.

Your right completely. He rang me back tonite and he said im sorry but i wont be able to meet you tomorrow. We spoke about it before he disappeared for days. I did what you said. I said oh i didnt realise you were coming. I was completely fine with him. He told me that he thought i was a really nice girl and its not that he doesnt want to see me its just that his life is so hectic. Then I said yeah thats cool. Then he said your not making it easy for me. I said i dont understand what do you want me to say. He said i really wanna see you i really do I just i dunno its not like your miles away. Ive just got this going on that going on im rushing about all the time. Then he went into whats happening in his life at the moment and then said sorry i havent rang to depress you. I just dont want to keep letting you down and its not leave you waiting etc.. So then i was like ok cool i understand. Then he went on about feeling pressure and getting grief from people. In the end he said im gonna have to go cos my dad's gonna be here in a minute. We can see how things go and i might not have so much work on in a bit and i can come down and see you. He then said see you later can i give you a call tomorrow or something i said yeah sure when you can. See you later.

It definetely seems that your way is the right way to go, i think he felt relieved that i was ok and wasnt pressuring him.

What do you think to it all? xxxx

Posted by michele3R
Thanks Tiki.

Your right completely. He rang me back tonite and he said im sorry but i wont be able to meet you tomorrow. We spoke about it before he disappeared for days. I did what you said. I said oh i didnt realise you were coming. I was completely fine with him. He told me that he thought i was a really nice girl and its not that he doesnt want to see me its just that his life is so hectic. Then I said yeah thats cool. Then he said your not making it easy for me. I said i dont understand what do you want me to say. He said i really wanna see you i really do I just i dunno its not like your miles away. Ive just got this going on that going on im rushing about all the time. Then he went into whats happening in his life at the moment and then said sorry i havent rang to depress you. I just dont want to keep letting you down and its not leave you waiting etc.. So then i was like ok cool i understand. Then he went on about feeling pressure and getting grief from people. In the end he said im gonna have to go cos my dad's gonna be here in a minute. We can see how things go and i might not have so much work on in a bit and i can come down and see you. He then said see you later can i give you a call tomorrow or something i said yeah sure when you can. See you later.

It definetely seems that your way is the right way to go, i think he felt relieved that i was ok and wasnt pressuring him.

What do you think to it all? xxxx

I can appreciate how you handled that, you definitely had this good vibe going on, it made him anxious, don't think he was prepared that..

You leaned back and that is how he sends his energy to you, whether he follows up or not well that is on him but you can't be worried about it, his excuses are excuses and you can't own his problems. I wouldn't sit around waiting for that visit, let him figure out what he wants and you get back to living your life, I know you got better things to do than wait on him...If you don't then find something better d:

Thanks for your really good advice Tiki xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx