Capricorn Male or Scorpio Man for Pisces Woman?

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by chellbell on Friday, September 20, 2013 and has 25 replies.
Need some help making a decision.
Been friends with this Capricorn male for 9 years. Dated over the last 1.5 years, I fell hard for him. He never gave me a full commitment or opened up about his feeling, so we stopped dating 3 months ago, due to a miscommunication and my feelings getting upset. We are still really good friends hang out quite a bit.
He has a friend that is a Scorpio male, met him through the Capricorn over a year ago. Recently since, the cap and I stopped dating, the Scorpio has begun pursuing me... we have had lunch several times and I really connect with him on several levels. He understands me.
My questions is should I actually give in to the Scorpio or no? I do feel like something good could develop between us, but I still have a lot of feelings for The Capricorn.
If I do this the Capricorn will be hurt and I would never have another shot with him... which I think at this point is still an option, as we did not have any huge falling out and he kept insisting that he couldn't give me a full commitment "Right Now" because he just recently got promoted at work and is traveling a lot now. I can't tell if that is a legit excuse or not because Capricorns do put their work first. If the Capricorn would tell me he wanted to be with me I would have no question about this choice, I would be his in a heart beat.
Bottom line pursue the Scorpio and see what happens because I will never get anywhere with the Capricorn? or keep waiting on the Capricorn male?
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Posted by chellbell
my feelings getting upset
should I
feel like something good
I still have a lot of feelings
another shot with him...
I think at this point is still an option
I would have no question
or keep waitin

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Posted by Impulsv
Have that convo with cap. If u have another shot otherwise tell him ur moving on. He will be upset about it but he chose.


Thanks, I have tried to talk with him already, he is a brick wall and won't give me an answer in either direction.
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Posted by chellbell
Need some help making a decision.
Been friends with this Capricorn male for 9 years. Dated over the last 1.5 years, I fell hard for him. He never gave me a full commitment or opened up about his feeling, so we stopped dating 3 months ago,
He has a friend that is a Scorpio male, met him through the Capricorn over a year ago. Recently since, the cap and I stopped dating, the Scorpio has begun pursuing me... we have had lunch several times and I really connect with him on several levels. He understands me.
My questions is should I actually give in to the Scorpio or no? I do feel like something good could develop between us, but I still have a lot of feelings for The Capricorn.
If the Capricorn would tell me he wanted to be with me I would have no question about this choice, I would be his in a heart beat.


You know where the Cap stands. What has the scorpio guy said to you? Is he looking for the same thing that you are looking for now?
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Maybe, I should give some more back ground into the Cap and I, then advice on what he could be thinking because, I have no idea. He is a brick wall.
Friends for 9 years. We hang out with the same group of people. I was in a serious 7 year relationship during are friendship, so nothing beside harmless flirting ever happened between us until about a Feb. 2012. At this point I had been separated from the ex for about 6 months and the Capricorn from his 2 year relationship, about 4 months.
Had drinks one night, I made the first move which turned into an intense makeout session then I went home. After that he started texting me everyday, coming by my work to see me, and we would meet up for coffee. Even called the coffee shop "our place". We did not tell are friends that this was going on for about the first 5 months and we did not have sex for about 3 months. We eventually met each others family and introduced our kids.
Everything was rainbows and butterflies until November 2012. He received his promotion at work and became a director, started traveling. He would still text everyday and came home on weekends where we would hang out. Flash forward to June 2013, he started to pull away and I sensed it. He began saying that he was overwhelmed with work, they lost an account... so on and so on. Then he started backing out of plans and became very distant, even are sex slowed down drastically.
The last straw for me was that he cancelled on 2 planned events. One was a work event of mine and the other was a friends bday celebration. I told him that I was frustrated with him cancelling and he basically said I was very important to him, but he can not give me what I needed "Right Now" (He texted the RIGHT NOW in all caps)
Since, then I have tried to talk to him and he will not give me any kind of answer either direction, but will still text occasionally to check up on me and will invite me to group events with our friends. Plus on the weekends he has his daughter he always stops by.
I don't know if I should just keep waiting on him or start moving on.
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Posted by pathfinder
Posted by chellbell
Need some help making a decision.
Been friends with this Capricorn male for 9 years. Dated over the last 1.5 years, I fell hard for him. He never gave me a full commitment or opened up about his feeling, so we stopped dating 3 months ago,
He has a friend that is a Scorpio male, met him through the Capricorn over a year ago. Recently since, the cap and I stopped dating, the Scorpio has begun pursuing me... we have had lunch several times and I really connect with him on several levels. He understands me.
My questions is should I actually give in to the Scorpio or no? I do feel like something good could develop between us, but I still have a lot of feelings for The Capricorn.
If the Capricorn would tell me he wanted to be with me I would have no question about this choice, I would be his in a heart beat.


You know where the Cap stands. What has the scorpio guy said to you? Is he looking for the same thing that you are looking for now?
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I just gave some more back ground in another comment on the Capricorn man. As for the Scorpio and I, we have kept everything very light and friendly, so far... because I do not want to pursue anything until I make a decision about the cap. I imagine that he would want a serious relationship, he is a bit older than I am, he is 38, I am 30. He is extremely caring and we connect... I feel like a relationship with him would be very smooth, but still don't know him well enough. He is also, very good looking. Plus, I have heard that Scorpio and Pisces are the perfect match for each other, but I have never dated one... all my exes are Capricorns. Part of why I am afraid to waste another 7 years on this cap.
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Posted by PiscVirgAquaFish
If a committed relationship is what you want and the Cap doesn't feel it fits into his life, move on. However, now you are looking at dating one of his friends. This may kill any chance you have of rekindling things with the Cap in the future. I don't know, dating a friend of an ex seems like a bad idea. But if you feel you have something meaningful with this Scorpio, then it may be worth it.


You're right, I guess I can just continue hanging out with the Scorpio and keep everything at a friendship level until, I know for sure if he is right for me and what he is looking for... that way I don't ruin any future chances with the Capricorn over a short term thing with the scorpio.
Read my other comment, I gave some more back ground on the Capricorn and I. Thoughts?
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Posted by chellbell
He received his promotion at work and became a director, started traveling. He would still text everyday and came home on weekends where we would hang out. Flash forward to June 2013, he started to pull away and I sensed it.
he basically said I was very important to him, but he can not give me what I needed "Right Now" (He texted the RIGHT NOW in all caps)


Posted by CreepyPants
also... guaranteed... GUARANTEEEEEED... even your best friend will disappoint you at some point.
even if we were all mind readers.
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Ok... what I have got, so far is don't date the Scorpio because they are friends and that would be a HUGE mistake, but Don't wait for the Capricorn either.
So, my next questions are should I keep responding to text messages, invites, & allowing the capricorn to come over with his daughter? Or should I pull away for a while? Would pulling away make him realize he misses me and possibly come back?
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Posted by capinc
As a Capricorn male dating a friend is a no, a big NO.

You and Scorpio will see Lucifer firsthand I guarantee it.




and a big n o for the scorpio too right? i mean... right????? i would think as two friends, that they'd maybe know about all of this somehow??? is either aware of what's going on with the other?
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I think leaving aside all 3 zodiac signs, whether you are pisces, capricorn or scorpio is irrelevant in your case. It's about :
1) how awkward you would feel when all 3 of you are together becos you are his lover & now you are with his friend
2) how the 2 of them may lose their friendship because of you
3) how you can never be with the scorpio without feeling guilty about the cap
4) how you may temporarily "connect" with the scorpio but still long for the capricorn.
It would have been different if the 2 of them didn't know each other but unfortunately for you, it's not.
Consider this: how would you feel if you broke up with your bf ( for whom you still have feelings for) and then your close female friend went after him while still being friends with you? Would you still be able to look at her the same way as if nothing happened?
I think you should discourage the scorpio & go after some other guy who is not connected in any way to the Cap. Too messy otherwise & frankly not worth the trouble & emotional turmoil.



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Reading your background, it seems to me that the Cap really isn't falling out of love with you. It really is all about his work. To Earth signs, work & commitment are their life. Often this is because other people's lives depend on the work that the Earth folks do. I've seen this level of commitment in Virgos & Taurans too ( and to some degree Aquarians & Arians too).
The reason why he texted "RIGHT NOW" in caps is because he DOES want to be with you...just not right now. If you're serious about him, you should wait. If you go with the scorpio, it's a betrayal to him. There's nothing wrong with going out with someone else (if you really do break up with Cap)....just don't go out with his friends...scorpio or otherwise. Go for someone he has no connection to.
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Posted by Serginho
Posted by chellbell
Posted by pathfinder
Posted by chellbell
he is a bit older than I am, he is 38, I am 30.


COMMON
swim away find smbd and be dropped by *that* smbd
~





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Er um....@Serginho, I don't know why you have my username connected to anything in that post. I did not make any comment in that post above. Is the last comment yours? You need to edit that to be Your comment, because it is certainly not Mine and has Nothing to do with Me.
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Posted by chellbell

The last straw for me was that he cancelled on 2 planned events. One was a work event of mine and the other was a friends bday celebration. I told him that I was frustrated with him cancelling and he basically said I was very important to him, but he can not give me what I needed "Right Now" (He texted the RIGHT NOW in all caps)

Your story is unclear on whether or not you and cap were in a serious committed relationship or just FWB? Sometimes we women make assumptions that just ain't so.
Ok, three things I see here.
If you and he were in a serious relationship, so what he works alot. He is your man and you should be able to understand that and stick with him. It isn't like he wants to break up with you, he is building a future and if you are his lady, then you are in mind.
if you two were FWB, then he (the cap) has answered your question. He can not give you what you want. You are free. If you decide to wait for him and put your life on hold from moving forward with another man (be it the scorp or anyone), then that is your choice and you can Not blame the cap if you are unhappy.
You have one man telling you is unwilling to commit to you and another man telling you he is willing to commit to you. Do you want to explore the possibility of a committed relationship with a man you find interesting, or do you just want a committed relationship with the cap?
Personally, unless I really didn't want a relationship with anyone (including the cap) and take some time off to get my head together, then I would pass on both. But if you want a relationship then I would go full forward with the scorpio. NOT because of our "sign" compatibility, but because we BOTH want the same things.
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@BeoWulf, +1
I didn't see your post, just hit "add reply" from page 1.
I agree
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Posted by chellbell

So, my next questions are should I keep responding to text messages, invites, & allowing the capricorn to come over with his daughter? Or should I pull away for a while? Would pulling away make him realize he misses me and possibly come back?



Do/don't do whatever you want but notice him first to let him *cut the rope*.
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Posted by CreepyPants
Posted by capinc
As a Capricorn male dating a friend is a no, a big NO.

You and Scorpio will see Lucifer firsthand I guarantee it.




and a big n o for the scorpio too right? i mean... right????? i would think as two friends, that they'd maybe know about all of this somehow??? is either aware of what's going on with the other?
click to expand


Not that I am aware of, I honestly don't think the Scorpio has mentioned anything at all about taking me out. He may not be saying anything because nothing has actually happened between us, as of this moment. We have done dinner once, lunch twice, and went out to play darts at a bar. The most I have given him is a hug.. I wouldn't mind doing more, but I am really hesitant because of the Cap. Plus, Scorpio did mention that the Capricorn dated one of his Ex's before about 4 months after they had split up.... maybe that was his way of justifying dating me??But I don't think that the relationship Scorpio had with that girl was very long... not 1.5 years, like me and the Cap... If I remember right Scorpio and that girl only dated for about 3 months and it was even shorter for my Cap. They are pretty good friends, they do guys night every Thursday night.
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Posted by BeoWulf

Reading your background, it seems to me that the Cap really isn't falling out of love with you. It really is all about his work. To Earth signs, work & commitment are their life. Often this is because other people's lives depend on the work that the Earth folks do. I've seen this level of commitment in Virgos & Taurans too ( and to some degree Aquarians & Arians too).
The reason why he texted "RIGHT NOW" in caps is because he DOES want to be with you...just not right now. If you're serious about him, you should wait. If you go with the scorpio, it's a betrayal to him. There's nothing wrong with going out with someone else (if you really do break up with Cap)....just don't go out with his friends...scorpio or otherwise. Go for someone he has no connection to.



This is were I get so confused in everything, because he did say the "RIGHT NOW" comment... his work is a BIG deal to him and I get that, my job is very important too, but the whole time we were dating he never really opened up to me. Sure he would make comments like "When you break up with me" or he would plan trips in the future, said how much he needed me, and how important I am to him... things like that, but he never called me his girlfriend or said he loved me.
Now I can say without a doubt that he was not dating anyone else the whole time we were together and I can tell he cares a lot about me. We hang out with all the same people, so it was a very well know fact we were together, but I just wanted to hear him say it, I guess... this is why I eventually got frustrated with him and when I opened up about how I was feeling he started to pull away. Could it really be that he just won't give that commitment until he is established at work?? or am I just to invested that I am reading everything wrong??
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Posted by chellbell
This is were I get so confused in everything, because he did say the "RIGHT NOW" comment... his work is a BIG deal to him and I get that, my job is very important too, but the whole time we were dating he never really opened up to me. Sure he would make comments like "When you break up with me" or he would plan trips in the future, said how much he needed me, and how important I am to him... things like that, but he never called me his girlfriend or said he loved me.

In that case, You should have stepped up to the plate to ask this man what exactly your relationship is with him so that You would Know that You Know that You Know. The only thing I see in your story is that he wasn't able to escort you to scheduled events because he doesn't know what his schedule would be like in the near future and you take that to mean that he doesn't want to BE with YOU "right now" in ANY capacity.
Posted by chellbell

Now I can say without a doubt that he was not dating anyone else the whole time we were together and I can tell he cares a lot about me. We hang out with all the same people, so it was a very well know fact we were together, but I just wanted to hear him say it, I guess... this is why I eventually got frustrated with him and when I opened up about how I was feeling he started to pull away. Could it really be that he just won't give that commitment until he is established at work?? or am I just to invested that I am reading everything wrong??
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So everybody else (including the cap) thought you and he were a "couple" except you. ??? You need to take some responsibility for Your actions, girlfriend, and stop making it look like the cap is at fault. Don't think the scorp doesn't take note of your behavior, because he most exponentially Does.
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Posted by chellbell
Not that I am aware of, I honestly don't think the Scorpio has mentioned anything at all about taking me out... Plus, Scorpio did mention that the Capricorn dated one of his Ex's before about 4 months after they had split up.... maybe that was his way of justifying dating me??But I don't think that the relationship Scorpio had with that girl was very long... not 1.5 years, like me and the Cap... If I remember right Scorpio and that girl only dated for about 3 months and it was even shorter for my Cap. They are pretty good friends, they do guys night every Thursday night.


I don't know why but my spidey sensors are tinkling when I read the above. Something PiscVirgAquaFish wrote above about Scorpio's loyalty being questionable comes to mind. You sure this scorpio dude isn't really just using you?
I also wonder why this dude had a need to mention that your lover dated one of his Ex's? Why would anyone mention something like that when he is seeing a woman ....unless he was trying to stir something up between said woman & her current lover?
Like I said, if things are really bad between you & Cap, go out with someone OTHER than whomever he knows.


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Posted by chellbell
but I just wanted to hear him say it, I guess... this is why I eventually got frustrated with him and when I opened up about how I was feeling he started to pull away.


This is standard Cap male behavior; you tell them your feelings & they scoot. Then they take the time to recuperate, process the information, sort out their own feelings and then decide whether or not to commit to the woman. It's just how they are. They're not Libras who will gush all over you with romantic words & flowery language.
Also, when you say you "got frustrated with him and when I opened up about how I was feeling", well, too often women say they "opened up their feelings" but usually they hide the fact that they "revealed their feelings" via shouts, screaming, frustration and angry, guilt-laden shaming words --- not a way to a man's heart at all. And then the women expect the poor guy to decode their angry words and expect the guy to somehow, magically read their minds and declare undying love for them. This is apparently what some folks believe constitutes as "revealing their feelings".
It's all about HOW you said it.



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Posted by BeoWulf
Posted by chellbell
Not that I am aware of, I honestly don't think the Scorpio has mentioned anything at all about taking me out... Plus, Scorpio did mention that the Capricorn dated one of his Ex's before about 4 months after they had split up.... maybe that was his way of justifying dating me??But I don't think that the relationship Scorpio had with that girl was very long... not 1.5 years, like me and the Cap... If I remember right Scorpio and that girl only dated for about 3 months and it was even shorter for my Cap. They are pretty good friends, they do guys night every Thursday night.


I don't know why but my spidey sensors are tinkling when I read the above. Something PiscVirgAquaFish wrote above about Scorpio's loyalty being questionable comes to mind. You sure this scorpio dude isn't really just using you?
I also wonder why this dude had a need to mention that your lover dated one of his Ex's? Why would anyone mention something like that when he is seeing a woman ....unless he was trying to stir something up between said woman & her current lover?
Like I said, if things are really bad between you & Cap, go out with someone OTHER than whomever he knows.

I thought about that too.... honestly it could be something like that or it could be that he was using that as a way of him justifying a relationship with me... like he was thinking through what he would tell the Capricorn.
At this point I have decided not to pursue anything further with the Scorpio at least not anytime soon... I am just going to wait and see if anything else can develop out of this Cap. and while I am doing that will just keep my options open with others outside of our group. The hard thing is we hang out in the same circle of friends, so I feel like anyone I date is going to have a connection with him. Unless I can find a new group of friends or someone from work.

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Here is how are last argument happened... I say argument because we never fought. I am a Pisces Sun, Cancer rising, and Aries Moon. He is a Capricorn sun, Gemini rising, and Taurus moon.
So, at one point in July I talked to him about how I was feeling, told him I cared about him a lot and so on... I never told him I loved him, probably because of my pride and I wanted him to say that first. Maybe I should have, but it is to late now. In this talk I let him know that I was not feeling very secure in the relationship and that security/consistency are a big deal to me. At this point I could already tell he was pulling away which is why I brought up the conversation. He just wasn't acting like his normal self. From the very beginning I would always get a message in the morning saying "Good Morning Beautiful", followed by text through out the day, and then a "Goodnight Beautiful" before bed. This had all slowed down, plus the times that we hung out together we were not even getting physical.... which was not normal. After the talk I really did not get much of response out of him... He just said that "He cared about me more than he did any other girl before". So, I dropped the conversation from there, thinking maybe he just wasn't ready.
From there things continued like normal (well the new normal).... like I said I don't think he was dating anyone else because we hang out in the same circle and I would have known about it... only thing could be if he met someone while traveling, which could be possible, I did notice he added a girl from Mississippi to his FB... apparently she works at the hotel he stays in there. This did make me slightly jealous, but I never mentioned it to him.
So, now to the way things ended. I told him weeks in advance about these 2 events one was my work event and the other my roommates birthday party, they were in the same week. He couldn't make my work event because he got stuck at work, I was a little upset about this, but I let it go because it was related to his work. I never said anything to him.
Then that Thursday was my the bday party. It was not going to begin until late started around 10... he normally does a guys thing every Thursday, they all meet at a bar after work, play darts and golden tee... .this is usually over at 9 and the place we were going to was next door to were he would have been. So, I text him about 9 and let him know I was going to come up to the bar and to see if I should just meet him next doo
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r. He responded that he was not there and was actually in another city, but thought he would be done soon. I said ok, just come when he can. He then messaged at 11 asking how it was going, I responded good when would he be there? he said he was about to leave. Then messaged at 12:20 asking where I was at. I said the same place. Then he messaged again at 1:20 asking how about now. I said same. He then never showed up. I went home at 2 and sent him a message saying that if he had plans, he should have been honest form the beginning and that I was disappointed he never showed up. The next day I called and he did not answer. So, I texted him letting him know that him not showing up twice in a week made me upset and that I thought he was treating me like an option, I wanted to work on it by talking in person, if did not want to do that then maybe we should just go back to being friends".
This happened on a Thursday, I did not hear a word from him until Monday evening, he sent 7 text messages saying. "He really had the best intentions to come that night, but something came up, I am very important to him, but he has other important things like work and that he was not going to change who he was and he could not give me what I wanted "RIGHT NOW". He hoped we would always be friends because he can't imagine not having me in his life"
I respond with an "OK, I never asked you to change, just wanted an apology and for him to communicate better with me"
After that I did not get a response and he did not message until the following Monday. In the message he said that he did not want us splitting up to effect the kids or our friends. I just said it would take me time to think of him as a friend only and that he could still come by with his daughter (I do love her and both of our kids are friends).
Since then we have hung out with our kids on many occasions, it is really hard on me because I want more from him and just want to go back to how things were.
Yesterday he came over in the morning, brought me my favorite Starbucks coffee and we took the kids to a festival, hung out all day, then did dinner. We act like we are still together in these settings without the actual physical affection. He even made a BIG deal to play that Miley Cyrus song "Wreck Ball" song in the car (crazy I know, but we are both 30)..... I am just really confused, he knows I want him back and the most he will say is that his text messages were accurate.
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Go with the Cap. Meanwhile do your own things and progress with your career and life. Something speaks doubtful about that Scorpio. Outside them, while progressing your own life, you can always be possible tumbling upon someone who fits all of your list and perfect timings. Take your heart off these two, and open your heart towards yourself and others in general. You will see magic happens before you know it.
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