Need some help making a decision.
Been friends with this Capricorn male for 9 years. Dated over the last 1.5 years, I fell hard for him. He never gave me a full commitment or opened up about his feeling, so we stopped dating 3 months ago, due to a miscommunication and my feelings getting upset. We are still really good friends hang out quite a bit.
He has a friend that is a Scorpio male, met him through the Capricorn over a year ago. Recently since, the cap and I stopped dating, the Scorpio has begun pursuing me... we have had lunch several times and I really connect with him on several levels. He understands me.
My questions is should I actually give in to the Scorpio or no? I do feel like something good could develop between us, but I still have a lot of feelings for The Capricorn.
If I do this the Capricorn will be hurt and I would never have another shot with him... which I think at this point is still an option, as we did not have any huge falling out and he kept insisting that he couldn't give me a full commitment "Right Now" because he just recently got promoted at work and is traveling a lot now. I can't tell if that is a legit excuse or not because Capricorns do put their work first. If the Capricorn would tell me he wanted to be with me I would have no question about this choice, I would be his in a heart beat.
Bottom line pursue the Scorpio and see what happens because I will never get anywhere with the Capricorn? or keep waiting on the Capricorn male?
Maybe, I should give some more back ground into the Cap and I, then advice on what he could be thinking because, I have no idea. He is a brick wall.
Friends for 9 years. We hang out with the same group of people. I was in a serious 7 year relationship during are friendship, so nothing beside harmless flirting ever happened between us until about a Feb. 2012. At this point I had been separated from the ex for about 6 months and the Capricorn from his 2 year relationship, about 4 months.
Had drinks one night, I made the first move which turned into an intense makeout session then I went home. After that he started texting me everyday, coming by my work to see me, and we would meet up for coffee. Even called the coffee shop "our place". We did not tell are friends that this was going on for about the first 5 months and we did not have sex for about 3 months. We eventually met each others family and introduced our kids.
Everything was rainbows and butterflies until November 2012. He received his promotion at work and became a director, started traveling. He would still text everyday and came home on weekends where we would hang out. Flash forward to June 2013, he started to pull away and I sensed it. He began saying that he was overwhelmed with work, they lost an account... so on and so on. Then he started backing out of plans and became very distant, even are sex slowed down drastically.
The last straw for me was that he cancelled on 2 planned events. One was a work event of mine and the other was a friends bday celebration. I told him that I was frustrated with him cancelling and he basically said I was very important to him, but he can not give me what I needed "Right Now" (He texted the RIGHT NOW in all caps)
Since, then I have tried to talk to him and he will not give me any kind of answer either direction, but will still text occasionally to check up on me and will invite me to group events with our friends. Plus on the weekends he has his daughter he always stops by.
I don't know if I should just keep waiting on him or start moving on.
Ok... what I have got, so far is don't date the Scorpio because they are friends and that would be a HUGE mistake, but Don't wait for the Capricorn either.
So, my next questions are should I keep responding to text messages, invites, & allowing the capricorn to come over with his daughter? Or should I pull away for a while? Would pulling away make him realize he misses me and possibly come back?
I think leaving aside all 3 zodiac signs, whether you are pisces, capricorn or scorpio is irrelevant in your case. It's about :
1) how awkward you would feel when all 3 of you are together becos you are his lover & now you are with his friend
2) how the 2 of them may lose their friendship because of you
3) how you can never be with the scorpio without feeling guilty about the cap
4) how you may temporarily "connect" with the scorpio but still long for the capricorn.
It would have been different if the 2 of them didn't know each other but unfortunately for you, it's not.
Consider this: how would you feel if you broke up with your bf ( for whom you still have feelings for) and then your close female friend went after him while still being friends with you? Would you still be able to look at her the same way as if nothing happened?
I think you should discourage the scorpio & go after some other guy who is not connected in any way to the Cap. Too messy otherwise & frankly not worth the trouble & emotional turmoil.
Reading your background, it seems to me that the Cap really isn't falling out of love with you. It really is all about his work. To Earth signs, work & commitment are their life. Often this is because other people's lives depend on the work that the Earth folks do. I've seen this level of commitment in Virgos & Taurans too ( and to some degree Aquarians & Arians too).
The reason why he texted "RIGHT NOW" in caps is because he DOES want to be with you...just not right now. If you're serious about him, you should wait. If you go with the scorpio, it's a betrayal to him. There's nothing wrong with going out with someone else (if you really do break up with Cap)....just don't go out with his friends...scorpio or otherwise. Go for someone he has no connection to.
Here is how are last argument happened... I say argument because we never fought. I am a Pisces Sun, Cancer rising, and Aries Moon. He is a Capricorn sun, Gemini rising, and Taurus moon.
So, at one point in July I talked to him about how I was feeling, told him I cared about him a lot and so on... I never told him I loved him, probably because of my pride and I wanted him to say that first. Maybe I should have, but it is to late now. In this talk I let him know that I was not feeling very secure in the relationship and that security/consistency are a big deal to me. At this point I could already tell he was pulling away which is why I brought up the conversation. He just wasn't acting like his normal self. From the very beginning I would always get a message in the morning saying "Good Morning Beautiful", followed by text through out the day, and then a "Goodnight Beautiful" before bed. This had all slowed down, plus the times that we hung out together we were not even getting physical.... which was not normal. After the talk I really did not get much of response out of him... He just said that "He cared about me more than he did any other girl before". So, I dropped the conversation from there, thinking maybe he just wasn't ready.
From there things continued like normal (well the new normal).... like I said I don't think he was dating anyone else because we hang out in the same circle and I would have known about it... only thing could be if he met someone while traveling, which could be possible, I did notice he added a girl from Mississippi to his FB... apparently she works at the hotel he stays in there. This did make me slightly jealous, but I never mentioned it to him.
So, now to the way things ended. I told him weeks in advance about these 2 events one was my work event and the other my roommates birthday party, they were in the same week. He couldn't make my work event because he got stuck at work, I was a little upset about this, but I let it go because it was related to his work. I never said anything to him.
Then that Thursday was my the bday party. It was not going to begin until late started around 10... he normally does a guys thing every Thursday, they all meet at a bar after work, play darts and golden tee... .this is usually over at 9 and the place we were going to was next door to were he would have been. So, I text him about 9 and let him know I was going to come up to the bar and to see if I should just meet him next doo
r. He responded that he was not there and was actually in another city, but thought he would be done soon. I said ok, just come when he can. He then messaged at 11 asking how it was going, I responded good when would he be there? he said he was about to leave. Then messaged at 12:20 asking where I was at. I said the same place. Then he messaged again at 1:20 asking how about now. I said same. He then never showed up. I went home at 2 and sent him a message saying that if he had plans, he should have been honest form the beginning and that I was disappointed he never showed up. The next day I called and he did not answer. So, I texted him letting him know that him not showing up twice in a week made me upset and that I thought he was treating me like an option, I wanted to work on it by talking in person, if did not want to do that then maybe we should just go back to being friends".
This happened on a Thursday, I did not hear a word from him until Monday evening, he sent 7 text messages saying. "He really had the best intentions to come that night, but something came up, I am very important to him, but he has other important things like work and that he was not going to change who he was and he could not give me what I wanted "RIGHT NOW". He hoped we would always be friends because he can't imagine not having me in his life"
I respond with an "OK, I never asked you to change, just wanted an apology and for him to communicate better with me"
After that I did not get a response and he did not message until the following Monday. In the message he said that he did not want us splitting up to effect the kids or our friends. I just said it would take me time to think of him as a friend only and that he could still come by with his daughter (I do love her and both of our kids are friends).
Since then we have hung out with our kids on many occasions, it is really hard on me because I want more from him and just want to go back to how things were.
Yesterday he came over in the morning, brought me my favorite Starbucks coffee and we took the kids to a festival, hung out all day, then did dinner. We act like we are still together in these settings without the actual physical affection. He even made a BIG deal to play that Miley Cyrus song "Wreck Ball" song in the car (crazy I know, but we are both 30)..... I am just really confused, he knows I want him back and the most he will say is that his text messages were accurate.
Go with the Cap. Meanwhile do your own things and progress with your career and life. Something speaks doubtful about that Scorpio. Outside them, while progressing your own life, you can always be possible tumbling upon someone who fits all of your list and perfect timings. Take your heart off these two, and open your heart towards yourself and others in general. You will see magic happens before you know it.