Capricorn man behaving standoffish

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by Scorpio_711 on Saturday, June 4, 2016 and has 21 replies.
Hi I'm Scorpio women. Recently I had fight with my cappy man and he broke up with me but after 3 days he was back and talking normal as nothing happened. Non of us digged out things and it was fine meeting. But his behaviour changed. He talks and meets but it feels he is very distant from me now 😔. I tried to talk but he ends the conversation whenever I try to get personal or close to him. I'm feeling very sad n disheartened as why he is behaving that way. If he wants to go may go but he chose to stay. I'm not understanding if he is not happy and have to behave cold n aloof with me then why he talks. How can I change him back ? Or what can be done. This is vry frustrating as I keep thinking how can I make things back to normal. I been dating him past 2.5 yrs . This is first time I'm not able to handle situation. Plz advice
Posted by Foreverloveme
Patience. He put his walls back up. He is still seeing you so he still loves you and cares. All you can do is give him time to feel comfortable again.

there a chance that there is someone new in his life that is why he is doing all that ? How can I bring his walls back down ? I'm jus stuck in dilemma that to leave or wait n try ...
Of course, it is your relationship, and you must do what you believe to be the right thing, but I personally do not think its a good idea for the two of you to try and go on as though nothing happened. Otherwise, you will never truly be able to move forward and grow your relationship. The elephant in the room is resting on both your chests, and the only way to lift that is to address it. Typically, not much good comes from sweeping things under the rug. This is a wonderful opportunity for the two of you to communicate.
Posted by champranger
Posted by Scorpio_711
Posted by Foreverloveme
Patience. He put his walls back up. He is still seeing you so he still loves you and cares. All you can do is give him time to feel comfortable again.

there a chance that there is someone new in his life that is why he is doing all that ? How can I bring his walls back down ? I'm jus stuck in dilemma that to leave or wait n try ...

Don't think he'd be talking much to you or meeting you if there's something else in his life.

You had a fight with him, to the point where he almost wanted to break up with you. I'd say it's gonna take some time for those walls to come down and I don't think there's any easier way. What was the fight about?

Ultimately, the question I think would be ... do you want to wait?

IMO
click to expand


Well honestly there was no "big " reason that's what I feel. I had lost my job n ws really upset. I wanted to spend time with him but He was ignoring me like not replying nor taking my calls. I had job offer from different city so I asked him that what he feels I should go. To this he replied it's your job go . So after lot of patience I finally Blew out to him that he doesn't cares and doesn't have time for me nor wants me in his life. To this he jus replied that it's me who creating this mess. And stopped talking. after a day I called him to meet and he refused and talking about that he is at club and enjoying and laughed that I shud go with him. I was more angry and hanged the call. Next mrng he called and said he is walking out as I keep repeating fights and that I bring him down. I was more upset as wht the hell this guy is talking. I jus said gimme a better reason atleast to call off and hanged up d call. Later in eve I jus called again to ask whether he wants me in his life or not. He didn't answer and said I should know and he will never answer it. We didn't talk for a week after that. Then he asked to meet and behaved nothing happened. I also didn't wanted to argue. We jus went for drive and talked and laughed. But he has changed since then a lot. He keeps distance and talks safe less of open. More formal And I m like he even wants me in his life or its jus me who still wants to be with him and whether things gonna be ever back to normal. I hope u understand what I'm going through now. I don't want to loose him.
Posted by LillyPetal
Of course, it is your relationship, and you must do what you believe to be the right thing, but I personally do not think its a good idea for the two of you to try and go on as though nothing happened. Otherwise, you will never truly be able to move forward and grow your relationship. The elephant in the room is resting on both your chests, and the only way to lift that is to address it. Typically, not much good comes from sweeping things under the rug. This is a wonderful opportunity for the two of you to communicate.


But he doesn't lets me talk much. Conversations are more formal and I asked him that we should talk out and to this he said all good nothing to talk. As he seems very sick and sad. I even asked if something bothering we can sit and talk but he said he is all good and nothing can ever bother him as he is very strong. What more I could say now to him ? When he ends the talk that way. You cannot force anyone unless the other person doesn't feels to talk open.
Posted by Foreverloveme
@Scorpio_711 how old is he? How far away is the city with the new job offer?

If you like the new job & you haven't been able to find anything in your current city, then I would recommend taking the job until you find something else.

He said he wouldn't answer your question because we don't like talking about feelings and being vulnerable. That's why you have to watch actions. Him saying you should hang out with him when he was at the club answers your questions of
1) is it someone else: No, he wouldn't invite you out if it was someone else
2) do he want you in his life: yes, otherwise he wouldn't invite you or spend time with you.

Him calling after a week is his way of saying I miss you. If he didn't like you or want you he wouldn't have called at all. Sounding sick and sad = he misses you.

I personally like calm in my life. We don't like to fight and argue. He doesn't want to talk about, he just want to move forward.

With this insight, maybe try being sure of yourself and confident. Let go of an insecurities. Be nice, loving, warm, and friendly to him. If he eventually wants to talk about it, he will when he's ready.

Wish you luck 😊


Thank you for taking out time to reply. He is 32 nd I'm 30. The job is in another city. I will have to leave current city n go n stay there. It's 3 hrs drive though. Yes since I didn't had any option at present so I asked his suggestion. If he wants me to stay then I would leave that opportunity n wait for new opportunity at current location else relocate myself but he created a mess of the situation. Well I'm financially sound jus need job to keep myself busy plus I like to be tke cre of my finances rather depending on parents. I just wanted to know it didn't matter to him that I was going.
Secondly i don't understand y je has to complicate current situation. I am trying to talk n make him happy but he is trying to stay away making more complications. Isn't it simple to jus say yes I want you to b in my life rather leaving m in dilemma to guess that instead. What's the use of being so stubborn and then hurting himself only in all this ðŸ˜' That's idiotic in my opinion
scorpio chick are so straight
Posted by _
scorpio chick are so straight

So dats gud or not ?
i think that capricorns is broken, the algorithm with this head and his heart are destroying him

Heart + Head => I want her and i want the best for her ? but does the best for her is being with me or her having a better job ?

the breakpoint is here. fix this capricorn
we are good machine but sometime with need some patches, fix i- with some tequila or four beer
five
just leave the bottle here
I don't understand why this is a vulnerable thing for him.. when you guys have been together for so long.. if I were you I would move forward without him. Take that job and don't make it a cap thing it's a man thing and believe me he will come back around.. the ball is in your court play your cards right. That is a sure way to make him come back exactly how he used to be at the beginning of your relationship.. fuck a capricorn thing.. I have the exact same problems with my capricorn man and I'm not dealing with him as an individual anymore I've been good to him.. he's been nonchalant witg me this is where I put my foot down... you should too
Posted by brezbeautiful88
I don't understand why this is a vulnerable thing for him.. when you guys have been together for so long.. if I were you I would move forward without him. Take that job and don't make it a cap thing it's a man thing and believe me he will come back around.. the ball is in your court play your cards right. That is a sure way to make him come back exactly how he used to be at the beginning of your relationship.. fuck a capricorn thing.. I have the exact same problems with my capricorn man and I'm not dealing with him as an individual anymore I've been good to him.. he's been nonchalant witg me this is where I put my foot down... you should too


Yeah he himself pushed me away and doing that over n over ( blocking me on calls, fb etc) and not telling the reason for his behaviour. Extremely frustrating when I don't even know what I did... Left with no other choice
Posted by _
we are good machine but sometime with need some patches, fix i- with some tequila or four beer

I wish it was dat easy to fix him... He doesn't booze by the way... How can I fix him when he is behaving damn egoistic. One day talking to me normally and next day blocking me everywhere. And when asking what is wrong then no answer. I don't really know what's wrong n fix what. Decided to leave him though I never wanted to but his behaviour is goin bad to worse ðŸ˜'
Posted by ElleDuMonde
You are ignoring the most important part.....

"he broke up with me"

^^^^^^^ THIS

If he went that far to terminate the relationship verbally.....he was not joking. That does not mean that he won't come back after a few days like nothing happened. As far as he is concerned, he spoke his peace and that's that. You should know the deal....and if you keep spending your time with him like it's no different than pre break up....you are giving him the signal you are perfectly okay with it.

If you continue like you are in a relationship and you felt he was being irrational or didn't mean it...you are fooling yourself.

I've been there. It sucks. If they tell you they don't see you in a relationship with them.....believe them.

It's only confusing when you don't.

So what should I do ? Do not talk at all or when he calls be nice to him on frendly talk just... Which way to make him realise his mistakes?
Posted by Scorpio_711
Posted by ElleDuMonde
You are ignoring the most important part.....

"he broke up with me"

^^^^^^^ THIS

If he went that far to terminate the relationship verbally.....he was not joking. That does not mean that he won't come back after a few days like nothing happened. As far as he is concerned, he spoke his peace and that's that. You should know the deal....and if you keep spending your time with him like it's no different than pre break up....you are giving him the signal you are perfectly okay with it.

If you continue like you are in a relationship and you felt he was being irrational or didn't mean it...you are fooling yourself.

I've been there. It sucks. If they tell you they don't see you in a relationship with them.....believe them.

It's only confusing when you don't.

So what should I do ? Do not talk at all or when he calls be nice to him on frendly talk just... Which way to make him realise his mistakes?
click to expand
Posted by ElleDuMonde
Posted by Scorpio_711
Posted by ElleDuMonde
You are ignoring the most important part.....

"he broke up with me"

^^^^^^^ THIS

If he went that far to terminate the relationship verbally.....he was not joking. That does not mean that he won't come back after a few days like nothing happened. As far as he is concerned, he spoke his peace and that's that. You should know the deal....and if you keep spending your time with him like it's no different than pre break up....you are giving him the signal you are perfectly okay with it.

If you continue like you are in a relationship and you felt he was being irrational or didn't mean it...you are fooling yourself.

I've been there. It sucks. If they tell you they don't see you in a relationship with them.....believe them.

It's only confusing when you don't.

So what should I do ? Do not talk at all or when he calls be nice to him on frendly talk just... Which way to make him realise his mistakes?

You can't make a cap realise his mistakes....and who are you to say they are mistakes to begin with?

What do you want to do? If being friends is acceptable....than do that.

If you are expecting more.....be vocal and express your boundaries....if he's not budging there is nothing you *can* do but move on.
click to expand


What he does is he calls n talks as if nothing happened n would try to know about me what I'm upto or whre n with him I went... For instance when I tol him that I enjoyed my day with a frend he was like so you wre enjoying n in few sec ended the call dat he got urgent work n later when I called him d next mrng he talked rudely n hung up d call without listening m full... I don't get this behaviour ðŸ˜'
I talked nicely cuz I thought it's a hope of light dat things cud get better n rather m acting hyper shud talk nicely instead but dunno what he wants ...
Posted by Scorpio_711
Posted by brezbeautiful88
I don't understand why this is a vulnerable thing for him.. when you guys have been together for so long.. if I were you I would move forward without him. Take that job and don't make it a cap thing it's a man thing and believe me he will come back around.. the ball is in your court play your cards right. That is a sure way to make him come back exactly how he used to be at the beginning of your relationship.. fuck a capricorn thing.. I have the exact same problems with my capricorn man and I'm not dealing with him as an individual anymore I've been good to him.. he's been nonchalant witg me this is where I put my foot down... you should too


Yeah he himself pushed me away and doing that over n over ( blocking me on calls, fb etc) and not telling the reason for his behaviour. Extremely frustrating when I don't even know what I did... Left with no other choice
click to expand


that is what my ex do. All these listed below initiated by him - I just embraced and accept it. In fact, my last word. Hope he can find a good lady or fix his marriage and not to divorce.
I myself is ok. I don't bother. I don't have a bitter heart as well.

1st break up - I just said... as he like it to put an end ( then 3 days he cameback. I was fine. I have bunch of friends to mingle with, so not a problem)
2nd break up - I just said We both deserve the best ( I don't like he kept initiating his ex, talking ladies friend, updating his life which is I doubt why if not GF)
3rd break up - I just said. Ok Goodbye. I agree ( He initiated topic, I used honest brutal words - he was not the subject but his friend, then he broke wants a break up - I am fine)

the 3rd break up. On that day - he blocked me. the second day he unblocked me. when he pops up in my end - i sent msg it is ok if he blocked me forever. It doesn't matter.
which he didn't. So I removed his contact.


Posted by _
i think that capricorns is broken, the algorithm with this head and his heart are destroying him

Heart + Head => I want her and i want the best for her ? but does the best for her is being with me or her having a better job ?

the breakpoint is here. fix this capricorn



So good. So Capricorn, but they will never get that. Instead you will wonder: Wow does he even care, why is he being so COLD?

Ruled by Saturn, the cold dark barren punishing planet...The father of tough love.
*they will never SAY that (not get.)