Capricorn Man - Distant, cold and Workaholic??
This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by Sammy 1 on Wednesday, January 16, 2008 and has 30 replies.
Hi,
I have fallen for a very very attractive Capricorn man - I have know him almost a year now and i have had to do all of the chasing. I asked him out for a drink, which he accepted.. we had a lovely night out 2gether and he treated me as though i was the only girl in the world - then afterwards he has been really cold on me and is busy all the time. He tells me he will speak to me soon when he is not busy.
I have seen him since and is was great but again - he has gone distant and is telling me he is so busy at work and stressed out, i have fallen for him so hard - i do not know how to handle the situation.
Sometimes he ignores me but i can see in his eyes that he cares for me - i am so confused!!
How is the best way to deal with a cappy man?? I think i have fallen in love with him and can not walk away as there is something keeping me attached to him..
I have fallen for a very very attractive Capricorn man - I have know him almost a year now and i have had to do all of the chasing. I asked him out for a drink, which he accepted.. we had a lovely night out 2gether and he treated me as though i was the only girl in the world - then afterwards he has been really cold on me and is busy all the time. He tells me he will speak to me soon when he is not busy.
I have seen him since and is was great but again - he has gone distant and is telling me he is so busy at work and stressed out, i have fallen for him so hard - i do not know how to handle the situation.
Sometimes he ignores me but i can see in his eyes that he cares for me - i am so confused!!
How is the best way to deal with a cappy man?? I think i have fallen in love with him and can not walk away as there is something keeping me attached to him..
The last time we met, he emailed me and said he can not stop thinking about me - but afterwards he goes back to being busy again.. I am soo confused..he also said that all he wants is to go home to a nice warm loving home, but he said he has had to sacrifice his happiness for his career.. he never goes out with his mates and all he does is work work work, he is very successful, but i would like to find a way to reach his heart... I give him space which all caps need. Can any caps here give me some advice please - thanks I am a leo.
I emailed him last week to see if he wanted to come out for a drink - he wrote back that he is really busy but asked for a raincheck, however, he then was messaging my cell phone on Saturday night and we were speaking for 4 hours and were getting on very well - he said that he can not wait to see me!! That was Saturday and I have not heard from him since.... He is very successful and is very busy and I am prepared to give him all the space in the world but I keep gettin the mixed signals.
As soon as I start to get over him in my mind then he comes back to me - can someone please offer me some advice - I know he cares for me as it is in his eyes but it has been a year now and I am not sure if it is worth sticking around for . Thanks
I emailed him last week to see if he wanted to come out for a drink - he wrote back that he is really busy but asked for a raincheck, however, he then was messaging my cell phone on Saturday night and we were speaking for 4 hours and were getting on very well - he said that he can not wait to see me!! That was Saturday and I have not heard from him since.... He is very successful and is very busy and I am prepared to give him all the space in the world but I keep gettin the mixed signals.
As soon as I start to get over him in my mind then he comes back to me - can someone please offer me some advice - I know he cares for me as it is in his eyes but it has been a year now and I am not sure if it is worth sticking around for . Thanks
I am prepared to support him and be there for him, I am just too scared to tell him exactly how I feel as I am scared he will run away. I hope he knows how I feel as I have done the chasing etc
Signed Up: Feb 09, 2006
Comments: 0 · Posts: 847 · Topics: 15
Comments: 0 · Posts: 847 · Topics: 15
Um, as a Leo involved with a Cap, I can certainly sympathize with your need to chase the guy. He pulls away, you want more. He comes around and gives you a glimpse of this awesome man, he is only to disappear again leaving you still wanting more.
Truthfully? I think you need to back off. Don't get into this pattern where you're doing all of the work because in time, even when you do have him, you'll still have to be on top of him and frankly, no woman wants to overextend herself all of the time.
If he likes you, he'll come to you. If he doesn't, chalk it up to it having only been a year that you've invested into this guy and move on. Seriously, it might take him a very long to change from his work-mentality to a relationship-mentality, if ever. Enjoy when you do have text conversations with him. Enjoy when you talk to him on the phone or when you see him. Try not to get your hopes up when you have spent time with him because it is highly likely that a couple weeks later when he's too busy to see you, you'll be beating yourself up again over this one person.
Truthfully? I think you need to back off. Don't get into this pattern where you're doing all of the work because in time, even when you do have him, you'll still have to be on top of him and frankly, no woman wants to overextend herself all of the time.
If he likes you, he'll come to you. If he doesn't, chalk it up to it having only been a year that you've invested into this guy and move on. Seriously, it might take him a very long to change from his work-mentality to a relationship-mentality, if ever. Enjoy when you do have text conversations with him. Enjoy when you talk to him on the phone or when you see him. Try not to get your hopes up when you have spent time with him because it is highly likely that a couple weeks later when he's too busy to see you, you'll be beating yourself up again over this one person.
He's REALLY working. With cappies, work always comes first. The fact that he asked for a raincheck, and the fact that he texted you while working means he's telling you the truth. Why don't you suggest meeting him for lunch (he has to eat at some point, right?) Or invite him to your place for dinner.
Thanks all for your comments, i will give him the space and support he needs, it just is a bit difficult as he is sooooo sexy!! Thanks again :-)
Thank you so much for your comments, they are really helping me!! :-)
Distant cold work a holics and that our good points. HHHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
JT! All the old codgers are showing up today! 
What is going on with that?
What is going on with that?Maybe we only come around now and then maybe we all got a life, or maybe not.
By the By I am not a old codger I am a pushing 40 codger. Of course it is all a matter of where you are in life if your 18 then I guess I am an old CODGER
The day I met my ex cap that was it. He called everyday and we were together everyday. So when a cap takes off then comes back I have never experienced that. He always came back to me. He would do stupid shit ya but he never took off for more then one evening. If we would get into a fight he would go out with his buddies then go home at 4 am and call me to let me know he was okay.
Then we moved in with eachother. He stopped going out. I think he went out 3 times without me in 7 months. I think thats why we didnt work out cause for 3 and half years we were glued to the hip. We had taken breaks from each other though.
But as to the taking off part. Usually that means a guy is not into you he just wants to be your friend..
Good luck. I hope this helps maybe this will help you to stop waisting your time on him.. cause he is not there for you..
Then we moved in with eachother. He stopped going out. I think he went out 3 times without me in 7 months. I think thats why we didnt work out cause for 3 and half years we were glued to the hip. We had taken breaks from each other though.
But as to the taking off part. Usually that means a guy is not into you he just wants to be your friend..
Good luck. I hope this helps maybe this will help you to stop waisting your time on him.. cause he is not there for you..
You should mirror him just to let him see himself. Caps are very reflective, considerate, and want to do the right thing. He thinks he is doing alright! Let him know that you admire his drive and ambition but there are some things that you need also. I am a cap male with two cap parents and two cap g-parents.
If you're not too terribly busy sometimes, just ask him if you could help him out any sort of way. More than likely he'll consider you a handicap to his order and way of doing things, but he will GREATLY appreciate your consideration and warmth. it makes him feel secure that you also care about security: in making him feel secure AND investing in security together. When you do this it shows him that he is on your mind in the way that he wants you to see him. And if you can SEE him, then he's putty inside. Just be careful you dont make him feel like he cant handle his business ok
Just be careful not to let him shroud you with his own interests and ambition. Remember you are the other 50% of the relationship.
Back to mirroring. I know some people say dont fight horns with horns but usually when my other would start to act like me, I PERKED UP AND PAID ATTENTION REAL QUICK. Just make sure you have a good mix of mirroring and love because we are complicated. We need to be able sometimes to fault you and worship you at the same time to not feel TOTALLY wrong or insecure.
As a cap male i hate inuendos, beating-around-the-bush, hints, and people who think caps can read minds. Well... sometimes we can but whatever. Be straight up and please dear god honey have your evidence written down so you can remember it all. If you are not logical, fail to make him empathetic, not reasonable, do not have examples, staying on topic totally, then he will not take you seriously and look at you as a child who has the inability to process on his level. He may fit in your requests robotically and just as another task at first, but when he sees how happy he can make you and its in his control to do so he will get better I betcha betcha betcha. If not then you can date me. jk good luck.
If you're not too terribly busy sometimes, just ask him if you could help him out any sort of way. More than likely he'll consider you a handicap to his order and way of doing things, but he will GREATLY appreciate your consideration and warmth. it makes him feel secure that you also care about security: in making him feel secure AND investing in security together. When you do this it shows him that he is on your mind in the way that he wants you to see him. And if you can SEE him, then he's putty inside. Just be careful you dont make him feel like he cant handle his business ok
Just be careful not to let him shroud you with his own interests and ambition. Remember you are the other 50% of the relationship.
Back to mirroring. I know some people say dont fight horns with horns but usually when my other would start to act like me, I PERKED UP AND PAID ATTENTION REAL QUICK. Just make sure you have a good mix of mirroring and love because we are complicated. We need to be able sometimes to fault you and worship you at the same time to not feel TOTALLY wrong or insecure.
As a cap male i hate inuendos, beating-around-the-bush, hints, and people who think caps can read minds. Well... sometimes we can but whatever. Be straight up and please dear god honey have your evidence written down so you can remember it all. If you are not logical, fail to make him empathetic, not reasonable, do not have examples, staying on topic totally, then he will not take you seriously and look at you as a child who has the inability to process on his level. He may fit in your requests robotically and just as another task at first, but when he sees how happy he can make you and its in his control to do so he will get better I betcha betcha betcha. If not then you can date me. jk good luck.
Thanks SuperCap - that's really kind. I will use your advice. :-)
Don't come off as too easy. Big thing about Capricorn men is that they like to work for what they want (of coarse they dont realize this). My friend assumes that a woman is a slut if they come off as too easy, harsh perhaps, but thats what capricorn men do i guess.
Just prove yourself useful in his world and show him that you have goals and an agenda. He'll respect that and will most likely be drawn to you.
Just prove yourself useful in his world and show him that you have goals and an agenda. He'll respect that and will most likely be drawn to you.
Although I realize this post is some what old. It describes exactly what I'm going through with a Capricorn. He seems somewhat of a recluse. Most days of the week we communicate, but on the 7th day he disappears. Part of me thinks he's some what of a party animal and may be a little more promiscuous than he wants to reveal to me, but part of me thinks he likes me. I've definitely backed off and I agree with you that if you back him into a corner and tell him how you feel he will run!
Although I realize this post is some what old. It describes exactly what I'm going through with a Capricorn. He seems somewhat of a recluse. Most days of the week we communicate, but on the 7th day he disappears. Part of me thinks he's some what of a party animal and may be a little more promiscuous than he wants to reveal to me, but part of me thinks he likes me. I've definitely backed off and I agree with you that if you back him into a corner and tell him how you feel he will run!
Well I am not trying to make up excuses for the man but Cap men are very self sufficient. I guess what I am trying to say is YES, he does work alot and work will come first for him.
If you have YOUR own life going on (not being offensive) then you really wouldn't miss him not being there. I have been with a Cap man for almost 12 years now and he seems COLD right now because you are not going to get affection from him in the beginning part of the relationship. He may seem very cold but deep down inside he wants a tender lover who is warm and will challenge him on his BS!
If you have YOUR own life going on (not being offensive) then you really wouldn't miss him not being there. I have been with a Cap man for almost 12 years now and he seems COLD right now because you are not going to get affection from him in the beginning part of the relationship. He may seem very cold but deep down inside he wants a tender lover who is warm and will challenge him on his BS!
get a hobby. or a nice emotional cancer to cry on your shoulder and share their feelings every 5 seconds. poor things. you have no idea what you're missing.
LOL @ warholian
i have a few cancer friends and i'm always making fun of them for how emotional they are. they probably take it way too seriously (like most people take caps) but i don't think it's doomed. we are opposite signs, and you know what they say about opposites!
no, not tiring. emotion is good! we're the ones with the problem... it's always best to have a hobby if you're dating a capricorn. it took mines a while to figure that out, but for us, absence makes the heart grow fonder than anything.
Since I put this thread on the board, things have kinda changed with Mr Cap.
He has been going through some very very difficult times at work and I was giving him support etc but he was still ignoring my texts etc. We had arranged to meet up and I gave him a weeks notice and even told him I would travel to where he lives as I knew how busy he was.... he told me he could not wait. I was really looking forward to it.
Any way - when the time come to meet he told me 2 days beforehand that he had to work and could not see me......
He has been going through some very very difficult times at work and I was giving him support etc but he was still ignoring my texts etc. We had arranged to meet up and I gave him a weeks notice and even told him I would travel to where he lives as I knew how busy he was.... he told me he could not wait. I was really looking forward to it.
Any way - when the time come to meet he told me 2 days beforehand that he had to work and could not see me......
I then told him - well don't worry I will not ask you to meet up with me again - he then said "sam please do not be like that - I am just very very busy at the moment
I said that to him because I was sick of constantly being rejected by him after him always promising to see me but then never actually being able to make it.
After a week of me not contacting him he is now telling me that he wants to get an apartment so WE CAN LIVE TOGETHER!
I am very shocked at this as he always seems very cold and distant and he has never given me any signs to show that he cares so I am shocked that he has told me he wants us to live together.
Please can you give me some advice on this??
Perhaps when I told him that I would not bother him again ? it made him realise how much he actually does care about me??
After a week of me not contacting him he is now telling me that he wants to get an apartment so WE CAN LIVE TOGETHER!
I am very shocked at this as he always seems very cold and distant and he has never given me any signs to show that he cares so I am shocked that he has told me he wants us to live together.
Please can you give me some advice on this??
Perhaps when I told him that I would not bother him again ? it made him realise how much he actually does care about me??
*Perhaps when I told him that I would not bother him again ? it made him realise how much he actually does care about me??**
No, he didn't realize it then. He realized it when you told him earlier that you would travel to where he lives as you knew how busy he was. That's when he realized that you are a woman who's willing to go out of your way to be with him. They don't like self-centered or wishy-washy women. But they like women who makes an effort to be with them.
**He has been going through some very very difficult times at work and I was giving him support etc but he was still ignoring my texts etc.**
You may have heard that Caps are VERY focused when they are after something (usually a job/task) they simply cannot let emotions get in the way of their duties (these guys are like stone-faced samurais
) Hence the ignoring of texts. *Any way - when the time come to meet he told me 2 days beforehand that he had to work and could not see me.**
There may be some truth to this. Caps are often thrown the biggest, hardest & most difficult tests/task....usually at the last minute. These guys are so capable that their bosses think that they lack a private life of their own and are thus 'cannon-fodder' for last minute tasks.
Thanks BeoWulf - that makes alot of sense :-)
sometimes when i'm at my desk (which is rare, but it happens) i'll be in the middle of an email or a spreadsheet or some kind of document and someone will walk in and start talking to me not realizing (at first) that they have to wait. last night i was watching a film with a gemini who of course wanted to talk about something but finally relented and said "you're watching this, aren't you?" you see, we get very focused, and we do look like hell in the face, as if we're about to kill someone or spontaneously combust.
"constantly being rejected by him"????
it's not rejection, it's just a mild form of OCD for us caps. there's no rejection.
your patience paid off. i hope moving in together will give you more time together because it seems like that's what you both want.
"constantly being rejected by him"????
it's not rejection, it's just a mild form of OCD for us caps. there's no rejection.
your patience paid off. i hope moving in together will give you more time together because it seems like that's what you both want.
Thank u that's really kind, I think i just feel kinda insecure sometimes and need a bit of reassurance from him.... :-) as he is so focused (as you say)on his job.. :-)
I'm a Leo woman dating a Capricorn man. He's has been upset with me for over 3 weeks now. They will have you confuse so hold on because your in for a ride. This was my 1st time ever dating a Capricorn and they are extremely complicated poeple. For my experience the sex was the best I ever had.
They are freaky and like to please their mate. Leos and Capricorns are not compatible at all, so you have to work hard to maintain that relationship. Normally a Leo give in to Capricorn. Leos are the king of the jungle, demanding, and don't have much patience. Capricorns are stubborn and extremely patient. Capricorns won't show much emotion, they protect their feelings. On the outside there are cold hearted people!!! On the inside there are fragile as they come, but you will never know it. They are serious people and you can hurt their feelings easily, that's why they protect there feelings. It takes them a long time before they get into a serious relationship. They are normally successful people because work comes first. They are very sexy and confident people and they tend to like attractive woman. You must be intelligent because they tend to think most woman are immature. I only been dating my cap since August and we been through a lot. Everytime it seems like were getting closer he pulls away. We would talk on the phone for 20 minutes some days and then 3 hours on other days. Once he feel himself fallen for me he would say he's gonna be busy for a couple days. That's when hell break a loose and he new it. I could go for maybe 1, or 2 days but anything more was a problem. They do need there space but if he's really into you he would make time!!! I wouldn't wait for him because you can find yourself waiting forever. If you really want him show him but don't come off needed. Don't try to make him jealous or don't do anything to hurt him because they don't forgive fast. Trust me I know!!!
They are freaky and like to please their mate. Leos and Capricorns are not compatible at all, so you have to work hard to maintain that relationship. Normally a Leo give in to Capricorn. Leos are the king of the jungle, demanding, and don't have much patience. Capricorns are stubborn and extremely patient. Capricorns won't show much emotion, they protect their feelings. On the outside there are cold hearted people!!! On the inside there are fragile as they come, but you will never know it. They are serious people and you can hurt their feelings easily, that's why they protect there feelings. It takes them a long time before they get into a serious relationship. They are normally successful people because work comes first. They are very sexy and confident people and they tend to like attractive woman. You must be intelligent because they tend to think most woman are immature. I only been dating my cap since August and we been through a lot. Everytime it seems like were getting closer he pulls away. We would talk on the phone for 20 minutes some days and then 3 hours on other days. Once he feel himself fallen for me he would say he's gonna be busy for a couple days. That's when hell break a loose and he new it. I could go for maybe 1, or 2 days but anything more was a problem. They do need there space but if he's really into you he would make time!!! I wouldn't wait for him because you can find yourself waiting forever. If you really want him show him but don't come off needed. Don't try to make him jealous or don't do anything to hurt him because they don't forgive fast. Trust me I know!!!
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