Capricorn man is moving too fast

Posted by ladylibra21
Lol do you have Venus in Sag? I would say talk with him but be very careful what you say. Maybe be like I really care about you (only if you do) but sometimes I can't tell if your feelings for me are because everyone else you love is absent at the moment. So my question to you is why do you love me? He may get offended but it may help him actually think about it. How long have y'all been dating?

Posted by ladylibra21
Lol do you have Venus in Sag? I would say talk with him but be very careful what you say. Maybe be like I really care about you (only if you do) but sometimes I can't tell if your feelings for me are because everyone else you love is absent at the moment. So my question to you is why do you love me? He may get offended but it may help him actually think about it. How long have y'all been dating?

Posted by Capri-sun
Ask him to slow down.


Some men are like that nowadays. I don't care for it either so I exit stage left (it's me not you) get cussed out, and move on with my life. Because personally I don't have time nor patience for it.


I'm whole and complete and happy so I'm not looking for the same. I'm not looking to fill any voids, I'm not desperate, not lonely...


If you don't want to be straightforward with him, then end it. I think you should at least tell him why. "Hey, everything is moving too fast for me, I feel smothered, you seem like you aren't fully over xyz, whatever it is that you're feeling." Just be honest.


Might not end well, but such is life.

Posted by Capri-sun
Ask him to slow down.


Some men are like that nowadays. I don't care for it either so I exit stage left (it's me not you) get cussed out, and move on with my life. Because personally I don't have time nor patience for it.


I'm whole and complete and happy so I'm not looking for the same. I'm not looking to fill any voids, I'm not desperate, not lonely...


If you don't want to be straightforward with him, then end it. I think you should at least tell him why. "Hey, everything is moving too fast for me, I feel smothered, you seem like you aren't fully over xyz, whatever it is that you're feeling." Just be honest.


Might not end well, but such is life.

Posted by Librajean

Posted by ladylibra21
Lol do you have Venus in Sag? I would say talk with him but be very careful what you say. Maybe be like I really care about you (only if you do) but sometimes I can't tell if your feelings for me are because everyone else you love is absent at the moment. So my question to you is why do you love me? He may get offended but it may help him actually think about it. How long have y'all been dating?

Not even a month...


I think he does really like me..it's my fault because I had too much wine and was waving him in. Something just isn't right for me. I'm going to ask him that..I am curious. It will probably hurt his feelings..

click to expand

Posted by Librajean
Okay so I have been seeing a Capricorn man and I'm really beginning to struggle with this because he is definitely moving too fast for me. He is telling me that he loves me and jokes with his friends about marrying me. Now I really do like him but it scares the shit out of me and find myself running in the opposite direction. Very quickly.


Here's why, he has a lot of problems. He is very lonely. His exewife won't let him see his children and he is very sad and depressed. So all of his emotions he is putting on me as I am to fill in the space or be his savior. This is hard for me because I have my own life to live, I'm very light and springy it's just too much yuck.


I'm not sure how to handle this so I'm slowly backing away.


Is there a way to improve this with these guys so they focus on their lives working hard, being fit and healthy.


He is really sad...we spent the weekend together and he already misses me a lot...which would be sweet if we were deep in a relationship but we have only been dating for a month.


If I share my feelings it will crush him so I'm just slowly backing away..

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by Librajean

Posted by ladylibra21
Lol do you have Venus in Sag? I would say talk with him but be very careful what you say. Maybe be like I really care about you (only if you do) but sometimes I can't tell if your feelings for me are because everyone else you love is absent at the moment. So my question to you is why do you love me? He may get offended but it may help him actually think about it. How long have y'all been dating?

Not even a month...


I think he does really like me..it's my fault because I had too much wine and was waving him in. Something just isn't right for me. I'm going to ask him that..I am curious. It will probably hurt his feelings..

Omg less than a month red flag red flag red flag lol I'm sorry I would be freaked out too. But how long have you guys known each other before that time

click to expand

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Is he a relationship hopper? And be careful some guys can use this as a manipulative tactic to say the right words and be put on a pedestal because you will stick around.


I have had that happen. I'm wondering if he knows I figured this out on my own and asked another guy friend what is this about. And it's sad truth to hear. When all you do is be there and open for some douche. And it backfires almost like getting taking advantage of.


In a short time.

Posted by Andalusia
Uh oh.. how long has he been divorced?

Posted by Librajean

Posted by Andalusia
Uh oh.. how long has he been divorced?

2.5 years his last relationship was 2.5 years and she is still on the outskirts. I told him nooooo....this isn't going to work for me, I don't deal with this situation.


He said I'll never let anyone get between us??? Ugh

click to expand

Posted by tnmnt
Share your feelings and be honest rather than slowly backing away... Make him understand that you're halfway done because his behaviour is giving you a pressure you don't want and need, that you're not his saviour and that you don't want to be extra careful of your actions so not to break him.


Focus on the positive, make plans. If you plan something mid term, say a trip in the summer, he'll have something to look forward to and stop being clingy.

Posted by Andalusia

Posted by Librajean

Posted by Andalusia
Uh oh.. how long has he been divorced?

2.5 years his last relationship was 2.5 years and she is still on the outskirts. I told him nooooo....this isn't going to work for me, I don't deal with this situation.


He said I'll never let anyone get between us??? Ugh

He's been *officially* divorced for 2.5 years?

click to expand

Posted by Librajean

Posted by Andalusia

Posted by Librajean

Posted by Andalusia
Uh oh.. how long has he been divorced?

2.5 years his last relationship was 2.5 years and she is still on the outskirts. I told him nooooo....this isn't going to work for me, I don't deal with this situation.


He said I'll never let anyone get between us??? Ugh

He's been *officially* divorced for 2.5 years?

No it's not finalized for another 30 days..

click to expand

Posted by poison_ivy
You have to give him a chance to heal as the other ladies are stating..(IF IN FACT YOU WANT SOMETHING WITH HIM) Don't just "back off slowly" without talking.. you wouldn't want that done to you if you were dating someone without any explanation what so ever, they just back off.... It will hurt him but you gotta be straightforward and honest..Ask him if he wants you, he needs to give it time.. things are moving too fast!


What I'm getting from your post is he speaks ALOT about his ex etc etc.. If that is the case he's using you as a rebound.. he's not over her.. & Family is the most important thing for a cap so if she is using the kids against him ... there is something still going on there.. I GET RED FLAGS ALL THE WAY!


as @FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428 stated... i think if he had a chance to make things work with his ex... i kinda feel like he would do so.. I don't know him of course but that's just MY OPINION...he would eventually disappear on you & get back with her.. From every post I read about a Cappy...slow, logical thinkers.. even slower for "love".. has to make sure his woman interest is in fact "the one" before he takes it further.. he doesn't really read like his feelings are actually genuine at all.. IMO

Posted by Andalusia

Posted by Librajean

Posted by Andalusia

Posted by Librajean

Posted by Andalusia
Uh oh.. how long has he been divorced?

2.5 years his last relationship was 2.5 years and she is still on the outskirts. I told him nooooo....this isn't going to work for me, I don't deal with this situation.


He said I'll never let anyone get between us??? Ugh

He's been *officially* divorced for 2.5 years?

No it's not finalized for another 30 days..

Yeah... that's what I was afraid of.. there's a hell of a lot of difference between filed for divorce/separated and officially divorced.


Sounds like misplaced intimacy to me.

click to expand

Posted by Capri-sun
I don't like when guys get all clingy lol

Posted by Andalusia

Posted by Librajean

Posted by Andalusia

Posted by Librajean

Posted by Andalusia
Uh oh.. how long has he been divorced?

2.5 years his last relationship was 2.5 years and she is still on the outskirts. I told him nooooo....this isn't going to work for me, I don't deal with this situation.


He said I'll never let anyone get between us??? Ugh

He's been *officially* divorced for 2.5 years?

No it's not finalized for another 30 days..

Yeah... that's what I was afraid of.. there's a hell of a lot of difference between filed for divorce/separated and officially divorced.


Sounds like misplaced intimacy to me.

click to expand

Posted by Librajean

Posted by Andalusia

Posted by Librajean

Posted by Andalusia

Posted by Librajean

Posted by Andalusia
Uh oh.. how long has he been divorced?

2.5 years his last relationship was 2.5 years and she is still on the outskirts. I told him nooooo....this isn't going to work for me, I don't deal with this situation.


He said I'll never let anyone get between us??? Ugh

He's been *officially* divorced for 2.5 years?

No it's not finalized for another 30 days..

Yeah... that's what I was afraid of.. there's a hell of a lot of difference between filed for divorce/separated and officially divorced.


Sounds like misplaced intimacy to me.

Yes but a lot of people are clueless about real love. Based on the problems he attracts he is one of them.

click to expand

Posted by Andalusia

Posted by Librajean

Posted by Andalusia

Posted by Librajean

Posted by Andalusia

Posted by Librajean

Posted by Andalusia
Uh oh.. how long has he been divorced?

2.5 years his last relationship was 2.5 years and she is still on the outskirts. I told him nooooo....this isn't going to work for me, I don't deal with this situation.


He said I'll never let anyone get between us??? Ugh

He's been *officially* divorced for 2.5 years?

No it's not finalized for another 30 days..

Yeah... that's what I was afraid of.. there's a hell of a lot of difference between filed for divorce/separated and officially divorced.


Sounds like misplaced intimacy to me.

Yes but a lot of people are clueless about real love. Based on the problems he attracts he is one of them.

What does that mean, exactly?

click to expand

Posted by Andalusia

Posted by Librajean

Posted by Andalusia

Posted by Librajean

Posted by Andalusia

Posted by Librajean

Posted by Andalusia
Uh oh.. how long has he been divorced?

2.5 years his last relationship was 2.5 years and she is still on the outskirts. I told him nooooo....this isn't going to work for me, I don't deal with this situation.


He said I'll never let anyone get between us??? Ugh

He's been *officially* divorced for 2.5 years?

No it's not finalized for another 30 days..

Yeah... that's what I was afraid of.. there's a hell of a lot of difference between filed for divorce/separated and officially divorced.


Sounds like misplaced intimacy to me.

Yes but a lot of people are clueless about real love. Based on the problems he attracts he is one of them.

What does that mean, exactly?*


*Meaning, I can't tell if this is pre-Libra-ese code for talking yourself *into* a relationship, or out of one..

click to expand

Posted by Librajean
He just sent me a message...can u talk on the phone??? ****eyeroll

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428

Posted by Librajean
He just sent me a message...can u talk on the phone??? ****eyeroll

Yeah just tread carefully, it seems you are independent and got caught up on some charm but I get it some red flags can be over looked but he's putting blame on the exes. He's not perfect seems to me he doesn't communicate well and bottles it up and leaves the woman to choose. He could easily go back. He could get a divorce and yall give it a chance but there's a kid in the picture too as well. Along with craziness.


As a person who doesn't have kids at all and has tried dating someone who did have kids it was not working out. It's like you have to bend alot to be with the guy which is fine but it's a decision when it's not working it's not going to so early on.


What if you got pregnant then what?


You have to think what's best for you, I would say hey try it and see. But it's right now he should be healing and he's not really. Like he's hanging in limbo cause he likes you but has problems.


Good luck

click to expand

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by poison_ivy
You have to give him a chance to heal as the other ladies are stating..(IF IN FACT YOU WANT SOMETHING WITH HIM) Don't just "back off slowly" without talking.. you wouldn't want that done to you if you were dating someone without any explanation what so ever, they just back off.... It will hurt him but you gotta be straightforward and honest..Ask him if he wants you, he needs to give it time.. things are moving too fast!


What I'm getting from your post is he speaks ALOT about his ex etc etc.. If that is the case he's using you as a rebound.. he's not over her.. & Family is the most important thing for a cap so if she is using the kids against him ... there is something still going on there.. I GET RED FLAGS ALL THE WAY!


as @FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428 stated... i think if he had a chance to make things work with his ex... i kinda feel like he would do so.. I don't know him of course but that's just MY OPINION...he would eventually disappear on you & get back with her.. From every post I read about a Cappy...slow, logical thinkers.. even slower for "love".. has to make sure his woman interest is in fact "the one" before he takes it further.. he doesn't really read like his feelings are actually genuine at all.. IMO

OP, everyone is making valid points about him talking about his ex cheating. I will say this, just from my perspective. If I just met someone and they ask about my divorce, my go to answers are "it just didn't work out" or "we were young" "we wanted different things" something generic like that. If we have been talking/ seeing each other for some time and I have feelings for the person and feel comfortable with them, then I will at some point open up and be honest about the situation.


It should be easy to distinguish between the 2, so keep that in mind and figure out if it's coming from a place of hurt for him, or a place of building intimacy with you.


I believe it is hurt, I just wanted to share another perspective.

click to expand

Posted by Librajean

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Is he a relationship hopper? And be careful some guys can use this as a manipulative tactic to say the right words and be put on a pedestal because you will stick around.


I have had that happen. I'm wondering if he knows I figured this out on my own and asked another guy friend what is this about. And it's sad truth to hear. When all you do is be there and open for some douche. And it backfires almost like getting taking advantage of.


In a short time.

He is trying to wave a carrot of a trip to Mexico in November.....sigh....oh if only I had a dollar for every guy that pulls this tactic. Yes I think he is a relationship hopper. I'm not an easy gal to manipulate because I don't need anything from anyone. I'm whole and healthy.


I did have a chat with him today that things are moving to fast and I just want to date.


He told me to checkout the hotel in Mexico. I didn't. Then he asked for the second time to post a picture of us on Facebook together, I told him no.


I'm just not interested in all of this right now.


I don't find him that attractive anymore with all of this bs.


Then I told him I still want to date, my Libra reared its dumb head sighhhhh

click to expand

Posted by Librajean

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428

Posted by Librajean
He just sent me a message...can u talk on the phone??? ****eyeroll

Yeah just tread carefully, it seems you are independent and got caught up on some charm but I get it some red flags can be over looked but he's putting blame on the exes. He's not perfect seems to me he doesn't communicate well and bottles it up and leaves the woman to choose. He could easily go back. He could get a divorce and yall give it a chance but there's a kid in the picture too as well. Along with craziness.


As a person who doesn't have kids at all and has tried dating someone who did have kids it was not working out. It's like you have to bend alot to be with the guy which is fine but it's a decision when it's not working it's not going to so early on.


What if you got pregnant then what?


You have to think what's best for you, I would say hey try it and see. But it's right now he should be healing and he's not really. Like he's hanging in limbo cause he likes you but has problems.


Good luck

Thank you First Decan Taurus, he had a vasectomy so no babies. He should be healing...he wants me to heal him. I have a daughter with a demanding job. I don't have time to heal anyone. I want to have fun in my free time..we just aren't a good match.


Okay so I started posting on here to get some insight. This website always works through so much for me..thanks everyone for taking the time to give your opinions ?????? they have helped so much.


Now my only Question is how to exit without loosing a friend or breaking anyone's heart....?

click to expand

Posted by poison_ivy

Posted by Librajean

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Is he a relationship hopper? And be careful some guys can use this as a manipulative tactic to say the right words and be put on a pedestal because you will stick around.


I have had that happen. I'm wondering if he knows I figured this out on my own and asked another guy friend what is this about. And it's sad truth to hear. When all you do is be there and open for some douche. And it backfires almost like getting taking advantage of.


In a short time.

He is trying to wave a carrot of a trip to Mexico in November.....sigh....oh if only I had a dollar for every guy that pulls this tactic. Yes I think he is a relationship hopper. I'm not an easy gal to manipulate because I don't need anything from anyone. I'm whole and healthy.


I did have a chat with him today that things are moving to fast and I just want to date.


He told me to checkout the hotel in Mexico. I didn't. Then he asked for the second time to post a picture of us on Facebook together, I told him no.


I'm just not interested in all of this right now.


I don't find him that attractive anymore with all of this bs.


Then I told him I still want to date, my Libra reared its dumb head sighhhhh

WOW! He's really pushing to move things along..


The part about posting a pic of you 2.. Could be a ploy to get the exes attention..? Sigh... He seems like he'd be wonderful but it just sounds like he's desperate at this point.. No offense. I'm sure you're a wonderful woman.. & like you said, you simply want to date.

click to expand

Posted by poison_ivy

Posted by Librajean

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428

Posted by Librajean
He just sent me a message...can u talk on the phone??? ****eyeroll

Yeah just tread carefully, it seems you are independent and got caught up on some charm but I get it some red flags can be over looked but he's putting blame on the exes. He's not perfect seems to me he doesn't communicate well and bottles it up and leaves the woman to choose. He could easily go back. He could get a divorce and yall give it a chance but there's a kid in the picture too as well. Along with craziness.


As a person who doesn't have kids at all and has tried dating someone who did have kids it was not working out. It's like you have to bend alot to be with the guy which is fine but it's a decision when it's not working it's not going to so early on.


What if you got pregnant then what?


You have to think what's best for you, I would say hey try it and see. But it's right now he should be healing and he's not really. Like he's hanging in limbo cause he likes you but has problems.


Good luck

Thank you First Decan Taurus, he had a vasectomy so no babies. He should be healing...he wants me to heal him. I have a daughter with a demanding job. I don't have time to heal anyone. I want to have fun in my free time..we just aren't a good match.


Okay so I started posting on here to get some insight. This website always works through so much for me..thanks everyone for taking the time to give your opinions ?????? they have helped so much.


Now my only Question is how to exit without loosing a friend or breaking anyone's heart....?

Be honest... Tell him you would like to remain friend's but you don't want to date anymore. He may ask why so be prepared to answer. You never know, it could help him more than hurt him. Before he moves on he's got to fix his issues & heal first. Maybe there will be a chance in the future with you 2 if you aren't already with someone else. Good LUCK !!!

click to expand

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by poison_ivy

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by poison_ivy
You have to give him a chance to heal as the other ladies are stating..(IF IN FACT YOU WANT SOMETHING WITH HIM) Don't just "back off slowly" without talking.. you wouldn't want that done to you if you were dating someone without any explanation what so ever, they just back off.... It will hurt him but you gotta be straightforward and honest..Ask him if he wants you, he needs to give it time.. things are moving too fast!


What I'm getting from your post is he speaks ALOT about his ex etc etc.. If that is the case he's using you as a rebound.. he's not over her.. & Family is the most important thing for a cap so if she is using the kids against him ... there is something still going on there.. I GET RED FLAGS ALL THE WAY!


as @FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428 stated... i think if he had a chance to make things work with his ex... i kinda feel like he would do so.. I don't know him of course but that's just MY OPINION...he would eventually disappear on you & get back with her.. From every post I read about a Cappy...slow, logical thinkers.. even slower for "love".. has to make sure his woman interest is in fact "the one" before he takes it further.. he doesn't really read like his feelings are actually genuine at all.. IMO

OP, everyone is making valid points about him talking about his ex cheating. I will say this, just from my perspective. If I just met someone and they ask about my divorce, my go to answers are "it just didn't work out" or "we were young" "we wanted different things" something generic like that. If we have been talking/ seeing each other for some time and I have feelings for the person and feel comfortable with them, then I will at some point open up and be honest about the situation.


It should be easy to distinguish between the 2, so keep that in mind and figure out if it's coming from a place of hurt for him, or a place of building intimacy with you.


I believe it is hurt, I just wanted to share another perspective.

I agree @Capri-sun, My cappy, kept it pretty short & sweet.. Wasn't really negative or into detail about his ex... Said "We were together for a while, both did some things towards the other, realized it wasn't working, and we called it quits.. we simply co-parent now.." That was it... Didn't say much of what she did to him.. I've read that when people speak negatively about the person before you, there may still be something there as far as feelings go. OR they were the cause of that break-up (cheating, lying, etc) and they feel guilty..

Yes. I go into detail if I'm serious about someone because it could affect my current relationship, not because there are feelings there. I could see how some people can misinterpret that.

click to expand

Posted by Librajean

Posted by poison_ivy

Posted by Librajean

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Is he a relationship hopper? And be careful some guys can use this as a manipulative tactic to say the right words and be put on a pedestal because you will stick around.


I have had that happen. I'm wondering if he knows I figured this out on my own and asked another guy friend what is this about. And it's sad truth to hear. When all you do is be there and open for some douche. And it backfires almost like getting taking advantage of.


In a short time.

He is trying to wave a carrot of a trip to Mexico in November.....sigh....oh if only I had a dollar for every guy that pulls this tactic. Yes I think he is a relationship hopper. I'm not an easy gal to manipulate because I don't need anything from anyone. I'm whole and healthy.


I did have a chat with him today that things are moving to fast and I just want to date.


He told me to checkout the hotel in Mexico. I didn't. Then he asked for the second time to post a picture of us on Facebook together, I told him no.


I'm just not interested in all of this right now.


I don't find him that attractive anymore with all of this bs.


Then I told him I still want to date, my Libra reared its dumb head sighhhhh

WOW! He's really pushing to move things along..


The part about posting a pic of you 2.. Could be a ploy to get the exes attention..? Sigh... He seems like he'd be wonderful but it just sounds like he's desperate at this point.. No offense. I'm sure you're a wonderful woman.. & like you said, you simply want to date.

Desperate??? Gee thanks lol


But yeah I know what you mean. And I agree.

click to expand

Posted by Librajean

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by poison_ivy

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by poison_ivy
You have to give him a chance to heal as the other ladies are stating..(IF IN FACT YOU WANT SOMETHING WITH HIM) Don't just "back off slowly" without talking.. you wouldn't want that done to you if you were dating someone without any explanation what so ever, they just back off.... It will hurt him but you gotta be straightforward and honest..Ask him if he wants you, he needs to give it time.. things are moving too fast!


What I'm getting from your post is he speaks ALOT about his ex etc etc.. If that is the case he's using you as a rebound.. he's not over her.. & Family is the most important thing for a cap so if she is using the kids against him ... there is something still going on there.. I GET RED FLAGS ALL THE WAY!


as @FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428 stated... i think if he had a chance to make things work with his ex... i kinda feel like he would do so.. I don't know him of course but that's just MY OPINION...he would eventually disappear on you & get back with her.. From every post I read about a Cappy...slow, logical thinkers.. even slower for "love".. has to make sure his woman interest is in fact "the one" before he takes it further.. he doesn't really read like his feelings are actually genuine at all.. IMO

OP, everyone is making valid points about him talking about his ex cheating. I will say this, just from my perspective. If I just met someone and they ask about my divorce, my go to answers are "it just didn't work out" or "we were young" "we wanted different things" something generic like that. If we have been talking/ seeing each other for some time and I have feelings for the person and feel comfortable with them, then I will at some point open up and be honest about the situation.


It should be easy to distinguish between the 2, so keep that in mind and figure out if it's coming from a place of hurt for him, or a place of building intimacy with you.


I believe it is hurt, I just wanted to share another perspective.

I agree @Capri-sun, My cappy, kept it pretty short & sweet.. Wasn't really negative or into detail about his ex... Said "We were together for a while, both did some things towards the other, realized it wasn't working, and we called it quits.. we simply co-parent now.." That was it... Didn't say much of what she did to him.. I've read that when people speak negatively about the person before you, there may still be something there as far as feelings go. OR they were the cause of that break-up (cheating, lying, etc) and they feel guilty..

Yes. I go into detail if I'm serious about someone because it could affect my current relationship, not because there are feelings there. I could see how some people can misinterpret that.

For me less is more...

click to expand

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by poison_ivy

Posted by Librajean

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by poison_ivy

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by poison_ivy
You have to give him a chance to heal as the other ladies are stating..(IF IN FACT YOU WANT SOMETHING WITH HIM) Don't just "back off slowly" without talking.. you wouldn't want that done to you if you were dating someone without any explanation what so ever, they just back off.... It will hurt him but you gotta be straightforward and honest..Ask him if he wants you, he needs to give it time.. things are moving too fast!


What I'm getting from your post is he speaks ALOT about his ex etc etc.. If that is the case he's using you as a rebound.. he's not over her.. & Family is the most important thing for a cap so if she is using the kids against him ... there is something still going on there.. I GET RED FLAGS ALL THE WAY!


as @FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428 stated... i think if he had a chance to make things work with his ex... i kinda feel like he would do so.. I don't know him of course but that's just MY OPINION...he would eventually disappear on you & get back with her.. From every post I read about a Cappy...slow, logical thinkers.. even slower for "love".. has to make sure his woman interest is in fact "the one" before he takes it further.. he doesn't really read like his feelings are actually genuine at all.. IMO

OP, everyone is making valid points about him talking about his ex cheating. I will say this, just from my perspective. If I just met someone and they ask about my divorce, my go to answers are "it just didn't work out" or "we were young" "we wanted different things" something generic like that. If we have been talking/ seeing each other for some time and I have feelings for the person and feel comfortable with them, then I will at some point open up and be honest about the situation.


It should be easy to distinguish between the 2, so keep that in mind and figure out if it's coming from a place of hurt for him, or a place of building intimacy with you.


I believe it is hurt, I just wanted to share another perspective.

I agree @Capri-sun, My cappy, kept it pretty short & sweet.. Wasn't really negative or into detail about his ex... Said "We were together for a while, both did some things towards the other, realized it wasn't working, and we called it quits.. we simply co-parent now.." That was it... Didn't say much of what she did to him.. I've read that when people speak negatively about the person before you, there may still be something there as far as feelings go. OR they were the cause of that break-up (cheating, lying, etc) and they feel guilty..

Yes. I go into detail if I'm serious about someone because it could affect my current relationship, not because there are feelings there. I could see how some people can misinterpret that.

For me less is more...

Yea, I agree that less is more for me... I don't want to know detail about what caused your last relationship to fail.. How I see it is there is 2 sides to every story and then there's the truth.. He's only giving his side of things and because you're dating him, you're gonna be bias to the women.. SO to be fair, I'd rather just keep it short and simple.. "we both did some things, it was fucked up, we moved on..."

I don't see this.


1. Anyone with libra placements will (should) have a balanced outlook of the situation


2. If the past relationship caused some sort of trauma I would want to know in case it is every triggered


3. If the two were married and/or had kids together because then you factor in things such as alimony, insurance/pension beneficiaries, visitation schedules/rights, how do they interact currently. Just because he says they're done & he's over it doesn't mean she won't chase me down if she sees us out (drama) or all of a sudden he's taking her back to court because he can't see the kids since he's dating someone. Just different scenarios so I like to know what I'm signing up for so I can decide if that's something I want to be involved in or not (preferably before being chased with a knife or him downing a 5th of something)

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Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by poison_ivy

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Posted by Librajean

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Posted by poison_ivy
You have to give him a chance to heal as the other ladies are stating..(IF IN FACT YOU WANT SOMETHING WITH HIM) Don't just "back off slowly" without talking.. you wouldn't want that done to you if you were dating someone without any explanation what so ever, they just back off.... It will hurt him but you gotta be straightforward and honest..Ask him if he wants you, he needs to give it time.. things are moving too fast!


What I'm getting from your post is he speaks ALOT about his ex etc etc.. If that is the case he's using you as a rebound.. he's not over her.. & Family is the most important thing for a cap so if she is using the kids against him ... there is something still going on there.. I GET RED FLAGS ALL THE WAY!


as @FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428 stated... i think if he had a chance to make things work with his ex... i kinda feel like he would do so.. I don't know him of course but that's just MY OPINION...he would eventually disappear on you & get back with her.. From every post I read about a Cappy...slow, logical thinkers.. even slower for "love".. has to make sure his woman interest is in fact "the one" before he takes it further.. he doesn't really read like his feelings are actually genuine at all.. IMO

OP, everyone is making valid points about him talking about his ex cheating. I will say this, just from my perspective. If I just met someone and they ask about my divorce, my go to answers are "it just didn't work out" or "we were young" "we wanted different things" something generic like that. If we have been talking/ seeing each other for some time and I have feelings for the person and feel comfortable with them, then I will at some point open up and be honest about the situation.


It should be easy to distinguish between the 2, so keep that in mind and figure out if it's coming from a place of hurt for him, or a place of building intimacy with you.


I believe it is hurt, I just wanted to share another perspective.

I agree @Capri-sun, My cappy, kept it pretty short & sweet.. Wasn't really negative or into detail about his ex... Said "We were together for a while, both did some things towards the other, realized it wasn't working, and we called it quits.. we simply co-parent now.." That was it... Didn't say much of what she did to him.. I've read that when people speak negatively about the person before you, there may still be something there as far as feelings go. OR they were the cause of that break-up (cheating, lying, etc) and they feel guilty..

Yes. I go into detail if I'm serious about someone because it could affect my current relationship, not because there are feelings there. I could see how some people can misinterpret that.

For me less is more...

Yea, I agree that less is more for me... I don't want to know detail about what caused your last relationship to fail.. How I see it is there is 2 sides to every story and then there's the truth.. He's only giving his side of things and because you're dating him, you're gonna be bias to the women.. SO to be fair, I'd rather just keep it short and simple.. "we both did some things, it was fucked up, we moved on..."

I don't see this.


1. Anyone with libra placements will (should) have a balanced outlook of the situation


2. If the past relationship caused some sort of trauma I would want to know in case it is every triggered


3. If the two were married and/or had kids together because then you factor in things such as alimony, insurance/pension beneficiaries, visitation schedules/rights, how do they interact currently. Just because he says they're done & he's over it doesn't mean she won't chase me down if she sees us out (drama) or all of a sudden he's taking her back to court because he can't see the kids since he's dating someone. Just different scenarios so I like to know what I'm signing up for so I can decide if that's something I want to be involved in or not (preferably before being chased with a knife or him downing a 5th of something)

In those scenarios, I can agree that more needs to be explained about situations..DEF! & I damn sure don't want ex-wives, jealous girlfriends etc chasing me down.. LOL! My cap was never married.. he does have kids and he explained to me the circumstances of how they co-parent.. when he gets the kids and vice versa.. he has also told me that she's moved on, lives with her new man and they have a child together.. so in my eyes she's not looking back.. when the time comes for us to involve our kids in our relationship we will take the steps to meet the other parents just so everyone knows whats going on and who is going to be around their kids... We only need to work on blending our family and I don't want drama on either side.. If I need to reach out to his kids mom, there's no problems and vice versa.. DRAMA Free... I figure when we grow closer (since it is still early) we can talk more about what happened in the past.. My focus right now is Me & Him. But I get where you're coming from Capri.

Yes! Op's situation, 1 month is too soon & too much. I'm only saying if it gets to the point of marriage/ integrating families.

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Posted by ladylibra21
Lol do you have Venus in Sag? I would say talk with him but be very careful what you say. Maybe be like I really care about you (only if you do) but sometimes I can't tell if your feelings for me are because everyone else you love is absent at the moment. So my question to you is why do you love me? He may get offended but it may help him actually think about it. How long have y'all been dating?

Posted by WonderWoman14

Posted by ladylibra21
Lol do you have Venus in Sag? I would say talk with him but be very careful what you say. Maybe be like I really care about you (only if you do) but sometimes I can't tell if your feelings for me are because everyone else you love is absent at the moment. So my question to you is why do you love me? He may get offended but it may help him actually think about it. How long have y'all been dating?

Curiosity? Why do you ask do you have Venus in sag? Does that mean you move slow ? ?

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