Capricorn man: recognition and reassurance

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by JoanieSagi707 on Saturday, July 19, 2014 and has 24 replies.
Hello,
Sagittarius here again... lol I am dating a Cap and he is starting to open up another side of him and from everything I've read, it means it's a really good sign - so hooray for that. So it's not really a problem, but do Caps need constant praise and recognition from their partner? Or are they naturally just boastful people? I admit I like that he's very ambitious and smart, yet I get the feeling that he needs constant reassurance that I think and feel that way. Is this a Cap test? I am also very ambitious and have a great career, so maybe he feels as though we can actually talk about our careers and education as we get to know each other, but I don't want to praise him as if he's a God (I feel like he's fishing for praise). Do I just roll with it and let him shine? It would probably benefit us both if I did, so I think I'll just ignore it for now until it gets to a point of annoyance. But I would like to know if Caps constantly need reassurance. Thank you in advance.
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Just feed the ego occasionally.
Does he praise you often for accomplishments?
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Posted by JoanieSagi707
Hello,
Sagittarius here again... lol I am dating a Cap and he is starting to open up another side of him and from everything I've read, it means it's a really good sign - so hooray for that. So it's not really a problem, but do Caps need constant praise and recognition from their partner? Or are they naturally just boastful people? I admit I like that he's very ambitious and smart, yet I get the feeling that he needs constant reassurance that I think and feel that way. Is this a Cap test? I am also very ambitious and have a great career, so maybe he feels as though we can actually talk about our careers and education as we get to know each other, but I don't want to praise him as if he's a God (I feel like he's fishing for praise). Do I just roll with it and let him shine? It would probably benefit us both if I did, so I think I'll just ignore it for now until it gets to a point of annoyance. But I would like to know if Caps constantly need reassurance. Thank you in advance.


all men want and need this. don't ignore it. keep giving him praise and recognition and you will become indispensible to him.
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Posted by SirHorns
Just feed the ego occasionally.
Does he praise you often for accomplishments?



Well I just started dating him and I've told him bits and pieces of myself, I get more observant rather than talkative when I don't know someone, so from what I have told him he does praise me as well. He also likes to compliment me a lot, so I don't mind giving him back compliments. He did, however, say that it makes him uncomfortable when I compliment his appearance, but would rather I compliment stuff like his humor or work ethic. That has to be a Cap thing right? lol so now I feel like if I say it will he know that I am telling the truth (which I am) or does he expect it from me now that he's told me what I should say? Not sure if that makes sense haha but he has become more talkative about his accomplishments and I've never dated a Cap before so it is very different to see that someone has accomplished so many things. Maybe that's why it's a lil overwhelming to meet someone who is like my equal but has achieved so much at our age (I'm 27, he's 29).
It's kind of starting to feel like a one way show though but I'm too shy to talk about myself all the time. I prefer for him to ask and I'll tell, should I just start sharing? lol
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Posted by KittenLaRouge
Posted by JoanieSagi707
Hello,
Sagittarius here again... lol I am dating a Cap and he is starting to open up another side of him and from everything I've read, it means it's a really good sign - so hooray for that. So it's not really a problem, but do Caps need constant praise and recognition from their partner? Or are they naturally just boastful people? I admit I like that he's very ambitious and smart, yet I get the feeling that he needs constant reassurance that I think and feel that way. Is this a Cap test? I am also very ambitious and have a great career, so maybe he feels as though we can actually talk about our careers and education as we get to know each other, but I don't want to praise him as if he's a God (I feel like he's fishing for praise). Do I just roll with it and let him shine? It would probably benefit us both if I did, so I think I'll just ignore it for now until it gets to a point of annoyance. But I would like to know if Caps constantly need reassurance. Thank you in advance.


all men want and need this. don't ignore it. keep giving him praise and recognition and you will become indispensible to him.
click to expand


Thank you for your response smile I appreciate it, I won't straight out ignore it but maybe my thinking is that he needs me to say the same thing every single day? Not sure how Caps operate but I do understand that as a man he needs to be reassured that he is a man
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Posted by JoanieSagi707
Posted by KittenLaRouge
Posted by JoanieSagi707
Hello,
Sagittarius here again... lol I am dating a Cap and he is starting to open up another side of him and from everything I've read, it means it's a really good sign - so hooray for that. So it's not really a problem, but do Caps need constant praise and recognition from their partner? Or are they naturally just boastful people? I admit I like that he's very ambitious and smart, yet I get the feeling that he needs constant reassurance that I think and feel that way. Is this a Cap test? I am also very ambitious and have a great career, so maybe he feels as though we can actually talk about our careers and education as we get to know each other, but I don't want to praise him as if he's a God (I feel like he's fishing for praise). Do I just roll with it and let him shine? It would probably benefit us both if I did, so I think I'll just ignore it for now until it gets to a point of annoyance. But I would like to know if Caps constantly need reassurance. Thank you in advance.


all men want and need this. don't ignore it. keep giving him praise and recognition and you will become indispensible to him.


Thank you for your response smile I appreciate it, I won't straight out ignore it but maybe my thinking is that he needs me to say the same thing every single day? Not sure how Caps operate but I do understand that as a man he needs to be reassured that he is a man
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men need reassurance EVERY single day. do that and you will be his muse and will ensure that he wont be "going somewhere else" to get that reassurance Winking
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Posted by JoanieSagi707

Well I just started dating him and I've told him bits and pieces of myself, I get more observant rather than talkative when I don't know someone, so from what I have told him he does praise me as well. He also likes to compliment me a lot, so I don't mind giving him back compliments. He did, however, say that it makes him uncomfortable when I compliment his appearance, but would rather I compliment stuff like his humor or work ethic. That has to be a Cap thing right? lol so now I feel like if I say it will he know that I am telling the truth (which I am) or does he expect it from me now that he's told me what I should say? Not sure if that makes sense haha but he has become more talkative about his accomplishments and I've never dated a Cap before so it is very different to see that someone has accomplished so many things. Maybe that's why it's a lil overwhelming to meet someone who is like my equal but has achieved so much at our age (I'm 27, he's 29).
It's kind of starting to feel like a one way show though but I'm too shy to talk about myself all the time. I prefer for him to ask and I'll tell, should I just start sharing? lol


Yes, share more. He likes you and want's to show how valuable he is. Which is why the looks thing made him uncomfortable. Looks fade faster compared to skill or intelligence, which is why he rather hear praise for that, since he can control and refine that.
You made it past the Cap Wall, so he'll likely try to do more to distract you from those more easily seen emotions and stuff.
Share a bit. Both Caps and Sags can be aloof, so once you two share more, you'll be fine.
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Posted by SirHorns
Posted by JoanieSagi707

Well I just started dating him and I've told him bits and pieces of myself, I get more observant rather than talkative when I don't know someone, so from what I have told him he does praise me as well. He also likes to compliment me a lot, so I don't mind giving him back compliments. He did, however, say that it makes him uncomfortable when I compliment his appearance, but would rather I compliment stuff like his humor or work ethic. That has to be a Cap thing right? lol so now I feel like if I say it will he know that I am telling the truth (which I am) or does he expect it from me now that he's told me what I should say? Not sure if that makes sense haha but he has become more talkative about his accomplishments and I've never dated a Cap before so it is very different to see that someone has accomplished so many things. Maybe that's why it's a lil overwhelming to meet someone who is like my equal but has achieved so much at our age (I'm 27, he's 29).
It's kind of starting to feel like a one way show though but I'm too shy to talk about myself all the time. I prefer for him to ask and I'll tell, should I just start sharing? lol


Yes, share more. He likes you and want's to show how valuable he is. Which is why the looks thing made him uncomfortable. Looks fade faster compared to skill or intelligence, which is why he rather hear praise for that, since he can control and refine that.
You made it past the Cap Wall, so he'll likely try to do more to distract you from those more easily seen emotions and stuff.
Share a bit. Both Caps and Sags can be aloof, so once you two share more, you'll be fine.
click to expand



Thank you, your advice will me be more understanding towards him. I didn't realize he was trying to show me how valuable he is because he likes me. I thought he was doing it to show off and brag lol smile
I will definitely start sharing more smile
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sorry will help me* ... don't have my glasses on lol
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Posted by KittenLaRouge
Posted by JoanieSagi707
Posted by KittenLaRouge
Posted by JoanieSagi707
Hello,
Sagittarius here again... lol I am dating a Cap and he is starting to open up another side of him and from everything I've read, it means it's a really good sign - so hooray for that. So it's not really a problem, but do Caps need constant praise and recognition from their partner? Or are they naturally just boastful people? I admit I like that he's very ambitious and smart, yet I get the feeling that he needs constant reassurance that I think and feel that way. Is this a Cap test? I am also very ambitious and have a great career, so maybe he feels as though we can actually talk about our careers and education as we get to know each other, but I don't want to praise him as if he's a God (I feel like he's fishing for praise). Do I just roll with it and let him shine? It would probably benefit us both if I did, so I think I'll just ignore it for now until it gets to a point of annoyance. But I would like to know if Caps constantly need reassurance. Thank you in advance.


all men want and need this. don't ignore it. keep giving him praise and recognition and you will become indispensible to him.


Thank you for your response smile I appreciate it, I won't straight out ignore it but maybe my thinking is that he needs me to say the same thing every single day? Not sure how Caps operate but I do understand that as a man he needs to be reassured that he is a man


men need reassurance EVERY single day. do that and you will be his muse and will ensure that he wont be "going somewhere else" to get that reassurance Winking
click to expand


You're right smile
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Posted by JoanieSagi707
Hello,
Sagittarius here again... lol I am dating a Cap and he is starting to open up another side of him and from everything I've read, it means it's a really good sign - so hooray for that. So it's not really a problem, but do Caps need constant praise and recognition from their partner? Or are they naturally just boastful people? I admit I like that he's very ambitious and smart, yet I get the feeling that he needs constant reassurance that I think and feel that way. Is this a Cap test? I am also very ambitious and have a great career, so maybe he feels as though we can actually talk about our careers and education as we get to know each other, but I don't want to praise him as if he's a God (I feel like he's fishing for praise). Do I just roll with it and let him shine? It would probably benefit us both if I did, so I think I'll just ignore it for now until it gets to a point of annoyance. But I would like to know if Caps constantly need reassurance. Thank you in advance.



Yes, I think he does need constant praise. Try and strike a balance between praise and calling him on his b.s. Don't say it if you don't mean it though, as he's not looking for flattery just for the sake of it like a Leo might smile I make sure never to be fake with my Cap because he can sense it.
He's also very critical and like you, I've been annoyed by it. We went out last night to a club, and he picked apart the service staff, and made lots of comments about how people looked. It was just weird because I don't do that, and generally see the world as a friendly place. You know how Saggies, for the most part, see life as positive and bountiful? Well...Cap men are kind of the opposite imo. Anyway, there are a lot of fundamental differences between Caps and Saggies. We are both intelligent, but approach life quite differently..there's lot to learn from each other.
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^...sorry for the bad grammar, long night!
Really wish there was an edit button... smile
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Posted by SunMoonStars


Yes, I think he does need constant praise. Try and strike a balance between praise and calling him on his b.s. Don't say it if you don't mean it though, as he's not looking for flattery just for the sake of it like a Leo might smile I make sure never to be fake with my Cap because he can sense it.
He's also very critical and like you, I've been annoyed by it. We went out last night to a club, and he picked apart the service staff, and made lots of comments about how people looked. It was just weird because I don't do that, and generally see the world as a friendly place. You know how Saggies, for the most part, see life as positive and bountiful? Well...Cap men are kind of the opposite imo. Anyway, there are a lot of fundamental differences between Caps and Saggies. We are both intelligent, but approach life quite differently..there's lot to learn from each other.


I noticed that he is very observant and will make comments about what he says, mostly negatively, but I have a Virgo moon so I'm just as big as a critic as he is lol but I do see life very optimistically. I haven't seen the very negative side of him... yet, but he may just be saving that for when I really get to know him. One thing I do like is that he gives me space but lets me know that he's thinking about me. He makes me feel very relaxed so I don't feel like I have to bother him all the time lol. I read once that between a Sagi and Cap, that the Sagi is more curious about what kind of lover a cap is and the cap is more curious what it would be like to possess a Sagi. Is that true in your relationship? smile
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Posted by M
I'd say so. Often it's simply a passive/subtle trait from their partner, becoming more pronounced if it isn't. I'm deferring to SMS on this one.
Also, don't ever go looking for Cap tests. They don't work like that.


Thank you for your response, what do you mean don't go looking for Cap tests? Do you mean that they don't test their mates? I've often read that they do, can you explain more? smile
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Posted by Caplove

I think we do need the constant praise and reassurance. We're always beating down and super hard on ourselves. When a S.O. is encouraging and supportive, for me, I love that and yes, I DO need the reassurance that I have my partner's support and he's proud of me.
Your guy MAY brush it off and downplay the complements that you give him but he probably really needs it, TBH. He may say something negative to erase what you said, but he most assuredly hears it and loves it. Yeah, IMO. we do need the positivity.


Thank you for your response! I don't mind giving him reassurance, I was just making sure he wasn't doing it to showoff and I get the sense that he's just telling me because he wants to show me that he's one of a kind, and I agree! He is very different. IMO he's very intelligent and I'm getting used to his humor. I'm finding that he's very observant and seems to care what I look like in public when I'm next to him. He does shy away from compliments but he eats up compliments when aimed at all his hard work. Which is refreshing because most men I've met only care about physical attraction. I'm somewhat excited to see what is beneath all of the hard exterior, yet I'm terrified that it's not what it appears to be. lol what are some bad traits of Caps that I should be aware of? smile
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Posted by SunMoonStars
^...sorry for the bad grammar, long night!
Really wish there was an edit button... smile


I wish there was an edit button too smile I messed up on one of my previous replies ahah
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First of all if you see this going anywhere long term than yes! Give him reassurance and feedback on what he does etc because like others have already said -that support from a SO really counts for a Cap.
I see this as a really positive thing -that he is actively seeking your approval.
My cap is the same, it's not bragging, it's his way of saying "see? See what I am? I'm good for you, I can do this or that for you, I'm a catch..." And so on.
It comes off as fishing for compliments but really it's quite endearing when you see where it's coming from.
So don't stop responding!
It's actually part of a caps internal dialogue, they have this dark down side constantly questioning their own achievements and worth so when a cap starts externalising that internal dialogue with you it's a really good sign!
It's when you start getting to see the dark, down side dialogue that you can become concerned and that's when you reassure in earnest and give space.
And also it may seem one sided for now, but once he sees you responding with love and respect he will Definitely start giving you the same reassurance back in spades.
Often when you least expect it but really need it!
For example, my cap doesn't say a lot about what I do for a living (sales) but at dinner parties I always downplay what I do and am embarrassed about the fact I've done the same thing for ten years... Well, he got quite cranky with me and gave me a big pep talk about how wonderful it was and scolded me about being so reticent about my profession. He urged me to embrace it and talk it up when I'm out with others and it gave me a glowy feeling inside knowing that's how he felt. But he wouldn't say anything otherwise.
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@Wagtail smile
Thank you for your response, that's very VERY helpful! What are some of the dark, down side dialogue that I should watch out for? Is it really bad? I'm horrible in emotional situations (blame my Virgo moon) lol... and I love your example, I have yet to experience the same. I do see that when I say something about what I do, he's not intimidated and I really like that. Most men I've dated, I've had to shy away from my profession because they felt intimidated and run away but not this Cap...
smile
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Posted by M
Posted by JoanieSagi707
Posted by M
I'd say so. Often it's simply a passive/subtle trait from their partner, becoming more pronounced if it isn't. I'm deferring to SMS on this one.
Also, don't ever go looking for Cap tests. They don't work like that.


Thank you for your response, what do you mean don't go looking for Cap tests? Do you mean that they don't test their mates? I've often read that they do, can you explain more? smile


There surely are. However, people who go looking for tests start seeing them where there isn't one, or makes excuses for the Cap's behavior. Things just tend to go awry. Plus if you can't pass these tests without the heads up, chances are it's just not going to work.
So don't worry about it, people just need to put the time and effort in. That's how you understand how any particular goat operates.
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I'm going to gather all my strengths to be patient lol yet he doesn't make me want to be impatient, which is very weird because I'm usually very impatient. I like a Caps energy... it's very chill haha... I mean I don't want to expect that anything will happen between us, and for the most part I'm just going along for the ride, but while I'm riding next to him, I want our journey to be smooth not bumpy lol so thank you for your input. I'll just continue going with the flow...
smile
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Posted by Caplove
Posted by JoanieSagi707
Hello,
Sagittarius here again... lol I am dating a Cap and he is starting to open up another side of him and from everything I've read, it means it's a really good sign - so hooray for that. So it's not really a problem, but do Caps need constant praise and recognition from their partner? Or are they naturally just boastful people? I admit I like that he's very ambitious and smart, yet I get the feeling that he needs constant reassurance that I think and feel that way. Is this a Cap test? I am also very ambitious and have a great career, so maybe he feels as though we can actually talk about our careers and education as we get to know each other, but I don't want to praise him as if he's a God (I feel like he's fishing for praise). Do I just roll with it and let him shine? It would probably benefit us both if I did, so I think I'll just ignore it for now until it gets to a point of annoyance. But I would like to know if Caps constantly need reassurance. Thank you in advance.


I think we do need the constant praise and reassurance. We're always beating down and super hard on ourselves. When a S.O. is encouraging and supportive, for me, I love that and yes, I DO need the reassurance that I have my partner's support and he's proud of me.
Your guy MAY brush it off and downplay the complements that you give him but he probably really needs it, TBH. He may say something negative to erase what you said, but he most assuredly hears it and loves it. Yeah, IMO. we do need the positivity.
click to expand


word.
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Posted by JoanieSagi707
Hello,
Sagittarius here again... lol I am dating a Cap and he is starting to open up another side of him and from everything I've read, it means it's a really good sign - so hooray for that. So it's not really a problem, but do Caps need constant praise and recognition from their partner? Or are they naturally just boastful people? I admit I like that he's very ambitious and smart, yet I get the feeling that he needs constant reassurance that I think and feel that way. Is this a Cap test? I am also very ambitious and have a great career, so maybe he feels as though we can actually talk about our careers and education as we get to know each other, but I don't want to praise him as if he's a God (I feel like he's fishing for praise). Do I just roll with it and let him shine? It would probably benefit us both if I did, so I think I'll just ignore it for now until it gets to a point of annoyance. But I would like to know if Caps constantly need reassurance. Thank you in advance.


Yes, some cap men can be very boastful. They're just trying to impress you when they do this.
And yes, many caps are insecure on the inside and need reassurance. We need to feel secure and need reassurance for our feelings, reassurance we're doing the right thing, reassurance you like us for us (we do have a dark side we are afraid to show).
Don't praise him like a God. Ick!!!
Give reassurance, but don't over do any of it because it will read false. We know when it's fake. Make sure what you say and do is authentic, genuine and sincere.
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Posted by truecap
Posted by JoanieSagi707
Hello,
Sagittarius here again... lol I am dating a Cap and he is starting to open up another side of him and from everything I've read, it means it's a really good sign - so hooray for that. So it's not really a problem, but do Caps need constant praise and recognition from their partner? Or are they naturally just boastful people? I admit I like that he's very ambitious and smart, yet I get the feeling that he needs constant reassurance that I think and feel that way. Is this a Cap test? I am also very ambitious and have a great career, so maybe he feels as though we can actually talk about our careers and education as we get to know each other, but I don't want to praise him as if he's a God (I feel like he's fishing for praise). Do I just roll with it and let him shine? It would probably benefit us both if I did, so I think I'll just ignore it for now until it gets to a point of annoyance. But I would like to know if Caps constantly need reassurance. Thank you in advance.


Yes, some cap men can be very boastful. They're just trying to impress you when they do this.
And yes, many caps are insecure on the inside and need reassurance. We need to feel secure and need reassurance for our feelings, reassurance we're doing the right thing, reassurance you like us for us (we do have a dark side we are afraid to show).
Don't praise him like a God. Ick!!!
Give reassurance, but don't over do any of it because it will read false. We know when it's fake. Make sure what you say and do is authentic, genuine and sincere.
click to expand



Thank you for your response! You always have so much to say and I appreciate it smile
Now as for this "dark side" please explain, I need to know what I may be getting into ahah
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Posted by JoanieSagi707
Posted by truecap
Posted by JoanieSagi707
Hello,
Sagittarius here again... lol I am dating a Cap and he is starting to open up another side of him and from everything I've read, it means it's a really good sign - so hooray for that. So it's not really a problem, but do Caps need constant praise and recognition from their partner? Or are they naturally just boastful people? I admit I like that he's very ambitious and smart, yet I get the feeling that he needs constant reassurance that I think and feel that way. Is this a Cap test? I am also very ambitious and have a great career, so maybe he feels as though we can actually talk about our careers and education as we get to know each other, but I don't want to praise him as if he's a God (I feel like he's fishing for praise). Do I just roll with it and let him shine? It would probably benefit us both if I did, so I think I'll just ignore it for now until it gets to a point of annoyance. But I would like to know if Caps constantly need reassurance. Thank you in advance.


Yes, some cap men can be very boastful. They're just trying to impress you when they do this.
And yes, many caps are insecure on the inside and need reassurance. We need to feel secure and need reassurance for our feelings, reassurance we're doing the right thing, reassurance you like us for us (we do have a dark side we are afraid to show).
Don't praise him like a God. Ick!!!
Give reassurance, but don't over do any of it because it will read false. We know when it's fake. Make sure what you say and do is authentic, genuine and sincere.



Thank you for your response! You always have so much to say and I appreciate it smile
Now as for this "dark side" please explain, I need to know what I may be getting into ahah
click to expand


^ Make that 2 people that wants to know more.. smile
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^^^^ I'm gonna make a new topic of discussion on the board: Capricorn Dark Sides lol
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