Capricorn Women Advice Needed - Aries/Tarus & Cap

Question for Capricorn women. I started casually dating a Capricorn girl about 2 months ago. We hit it off from the start and were intimate the first night. From then on we agreed to be friends with benefits. A few weeks into seeing each other we were intimate at least 2 to 3 times a week. About a month into seeing each other, she texts me telling me she needs to take a break from us... I reply saying okay, I understand and leave it at that. I text her 2 or 3 days later saying I would like to hang out with her from time to time just as platonic friends if she was still interested as I like and value her as a person... thinking perhaps it being all about the sex was becoming a bit too much. She said I wore her out every time we made love, and I made her climax like no other lover ever had. Keep in mind that she's a triple Capricorn so what you see is what you get with her, which I thoroughly appreciate.

Anyway, she replied to that text saying that she didn't mean she never wanted to talk to or see me again, and she definitely didn't want to switch to a platonic relationship (said that was taking it too far, her exact words) and that she just needed a little time. I figured that it had something to do with her ex and later came to find out I was right. It had been almost a year since they split.

Fast forward to a few days later, she texts me wanting to hang out. She'd been hinting around at me taking her out on a date for a while, so I finally conceded and took her out. She had a great time, public displays of affection, hand holding, the whole nine yards. We went back to her place that night and made love. Now, she texts me later on to say she wants to hang again but no sex this time and to help her resist going there since she's usually the one initiating and not doing any resisting. I agree. We hang out, no sex, but we make out like rabbits, she initiated it as I was getting ready to leave. I end up satisfying her with my fingers and manage to resist her wanting more. I didn't go any further than that. We hang out a few days later and have awesome sex. She has had multiple orgasms every single time we've made love, literally. Anyway, after that we go back to hanging out again. She invited me to one of her meet ups and we have a great time, it's the first time I spend the whole night with her, making love all night long until I wear her out, rinse and repeat. As far as staying the whole night, she'd been trying to get me to do it for a while prior,

contd.

Fast forward to a month later and we're still seeing each other casually and sexually but getting more familiar with each other... catching a movie here and there, watching them on her couch sometimes, making out, being intimate. She had a really tough week at work a week ago and I'd been trying to schedule something with her all week. She was busy. Finally, she had time for me on Sunday and we hang out and I make love to her multiple times. The next day she texts me... first to wish me a good day. Then she says how she doesn't remember what we agreed on, but she wanted to let me know she was going on a date that night.

I was surprised by this although I shouldn't have been. We were only fwb after all. So, we talk a little and I ask if I please her sexually... she says 100% without a doubt I most certainly do. She said she's never had a fwb or casual anything, neither have I, she she tends to go overboard when she meets someone and ends up being in a relationship with them. I can relate, but I explained that I don't just fall into relationships. Anyway, she proceeds tha she's just wanting to meet different people and perspectives at this point. She's still in love with her ex, so she doesn't want a relationship, neither do I. So I ask why she's dating if she doesn't want a relationship. Why is she dating if she is sexual satisfied and I'm not asking for any more than she can give considering her emotional feelings about her ex. She replied that it was unfair to me, and seeing me exclusively could lead to us both getting to comfortable. I can relate to that I guess.

contd.

So I ask her if she still wants to be intimate with me and she replies that she most definitely does still want that. I replied that everything was cool and apologized for coming off like a "whiny you know what." Told her we'd still do our thing from time to time and keep our peresonal business as it relates to relationships and dating to ourselves unless of course it directly affects the other.

I'm really wondering why you think she reacted the way she did? Is she afraid of developing feelings for me? If she's sexually satisfied, what more does she need right now? I feel like I cut myself off at the foot for being so damn good sexually, and I've trapped myself into the friends with benefits box even though she'd been wanting to date long before now... perhaps I ruined chances of becoming anything more with her. She's a cap lady so I was trying to take my time, play it cool, let her call the shots, and appreciate her submissive dominance. Where did I go wrong and should I just continue playing it cool until she comes back around, if she comes back around?

She will come back around, you are just too available for her, give her some space. Maybe she was just testing you to see your reaction when she mentioned that other date. You should ignore her for now.

Sounds like you've been put in a box and she can't see past it. She doesn't want you to go away, but she's pushing you away in hopes that you get the idea to not put too much of your valuable energy into her. She sees it as one thing and she see you wanting a bit more.

I'd say cut all ties lol. It seems to be a no win for you in the long-run. Maybe if you ignore her she'll come back like aqua said, but that doesn't seem like fun game to play if you like someone. For caps I think deeper feelings take a while to develop.

I wish you luck.

Thanks for the advice... it's definitely appreciated. I agree with cutting all ties. Kinda hard as I want to text her to have a good day like I usually do. I thought I was being hands off more than enough, texting only 2 times a day normally in the morning and evening. In any case, I intend to not text her at all and wait for her to make the next move. In the mean time, I'm going to start dating again. I think it's the Taurus in me that dislikes change after a comfortable setting has been arranged, but maybe this is the wake up I needed. I felt like she was testing me at first because I didn't understand the logic behind her actions, but ultimately I think she has the best of intentions and I'm going to play it cool and do my own thing for now. If she comes back around, cool, and if not, then it wasn't meant to be anything more than it was/is.

I think my Taurus friend found a pattern that works for me when it comes to texting, although ill start to miss hearing from him a little when he drags it longer, but its texting like every 4-5days. He use to text everyday, but I think he caught on that I'd respond better after time off. Now the relationship is different from yours in that we've never been intimate, but the same in that we're not in a relationship, so I also agree with aquapisces in not being too available.

You could also try that and see how she responds after a while, if not good, then yeah cut her off lol. Either way though, I agree with you in playing it cool and dating others.

I honestly think if she is givin you the option of freakin her daily then,you have more to it than fwb..caps feelings run very deep.if we become exclusive with a person ,but,they classify us into the fwb box then we have ways of seein if that is exactly the true choice.playin it cool with her really isnt gonna work,we like people to be upfront and honest..i know im an intensely deep individual,so with the fwb situation we hate it,especially if we havent be categorized into the group we deeply desire we tend to be a lil indirect by askin somethin likr ,datin others,how you feel bout it,thats a test...she bought it to you wantin to know your true thoughts.if she was in love with her ex she wouldnt,let you have sex..that is me anywayzzzz..feelings usually hit after the first time of bein with someone and we usually know this so,we play harder so no one knows how sensitive we really are,we tend to make foolish descions so as we age we try different options with new situations...if yall had sex over ten times,she usually wants it then she knows there is passion there ,so she doesnt know how you feel about bein exclusive because of the way yall started out....have a chat and be sincere about how you want things without bein to forward,best thing to do is have an intellectual convo,ease in on the matter,but I can bet if she messes with you,yall meet on a physical,intellectual,and perhaps emotional level,but,just from how I am

what is it that YOU want, OP? You hvent said here. SOunds like she wanted to date you, no matter what she says about her ex. Why not just call and ask her for a real date? If, tht is, you want her for relationship. Good luck!!

Yeah, it's odd because I have never done this before, but I did it with her for some odd reason. I kept track of how many times we've been intimate from the first time. We've been intimate 17 times in 2 months, or 10 weeks to be exact and this includes the time she was away for 10 days visiting family on vacation. From the start the sex was passionate, intense, and to be honest we came together so naturally that it surprised us both. I couldn't believe how perfectly her body responded to me and she said no one has ever made her lose control that like before, ever. So the sex has been mind blowing and it's something she said she doesn't want to give up. Neither do I... so I'm trying to check myself and determine if this attachment is purely sexual in nature.

Her exact words were "to be brutally honest, I'm still very much in love with my ex, so I have no business getting into any kind of relationship with anyone that involves feelings" -- which I didn't know she was getting involved in a relationship like that with me. She then says "I like spending time with you. I see us a friends with fwb but don't want to be unfair to me if I need or want more.

So, I never told her I needed or wanted more and I made that clear. Perhaps due to the extremely passionate nature of our sex and intimacy, she was getting worried that there could be more on my end or perhaps even her end. The way we make love it's like we already know each other inside and out... and I won't lie, it ranks high up there on my scale. But, I was thinking if she was still very much in love she wouldn't give me of herself in such a way, perhaps the intensity makes her think of her ex. She says she loves being in my arms too... when I hug and hold her she always hugs me so tightly and leans in close nestling her head in my shoulder or neck.

When I say I'm gonna play it cool I mean it in the sense that I'm not going to ask for any more than she's willing to give. No matter what. She already knows how I feel. The day she told me about her date we both expressed our mutual like for each other, and how we enjoy spending time together and how we both enjoy the intimacy immensely. We've both been upfront and honest but she's been changing things up as we go along, so I can only go with the flow and keep playing it cool. Honestly, I don't want to play it any other way.

We went on a real actual date and had a great time. After the date was over that night I dropped her off at home, did the gentlemanly thing... didn't invite myself in or ask to come in knowing that it would likely lead to sex but I showed her a good time that night. I wanted her to see that side of me. We've seen each other multiple times since that night. I've also been pretty reserved and held back on showing any feelings because I didn't want to come on too strong to this career oriented Cap lady. Honestly, I could sense that she still had some unresolved issues relating to her ex so I didn't try anything beyond friends with benefits despite the fact that I wanted to. I told her this the other day when we had our talk. I made it clear that I wanted more but purposely held back due to the vibes I picked up from her not being over her ex.

The thing is, I do want this cap girl! But I was trying not to be my impulsive Aries self and let the more grounded Taurus take over. The fact that she wants to be fwb's with me but yet date others leads me to believe she doesn't see me as dating material possibly. Maybe I moved too slow. Maybe she's afraid of falling for me. Or maybe she's being honest about not wanting to get too comfortable so as not to fall into a relationship. We have been sexually exclusive up to now. I just wanted a clearer picture of where her mind might be... and the information you ladies have provided has been great. Thanks a lot for the input.

You're dealing with confusion that you partially created yourself.

If you had just done what was in harmony with your true feelings RIGHT from the beginning (which was to become exclusive with her) you would have spared yourself and her, a lot of this misery.

So much for Aries not being indecisive, lol.

Btw, Im not a capricorn woman, but Im involved with one (3 years now, we broke up 2 months ago and became FWB recently)

Yeah, you're right... I blame myself for this as much as I blame the both of us for our indecision. I think about her telling me she's not over her ex and wonder had been more aggressive in the beginning would that have caused her to run away and distance herself sooner considering our initial connection was so natural and easy going. But now that she's started dating while remaining fwb with me I feel like I probably should have been more aggressive in the beginning anyway.

Aries indecision is not problem so much as it's the Taurus side that has kept me grounded, perhaps a little too grounded as it relates to this feisty cap who manages to keep her bubbling emotions simmering just beneath the surface. She expresses her emotions in her actions, not so much her words. I'm far more communicative and passionate in that regard but the body language doesn't lie.

I kinda have a feeling she'll be back sooner rather than later. I hope I'm right.

I know dude. You may be forgetting that when deciding whether to be with a guy or not, women are often full with doubts and fears even if their feelings for him are very strong, your job as a MAN is to be the the rock, the decisive guy who knows what he wants (HER in this case) and will act accordingly, this automatically will alleviate her fears and doubts by showing your conviction and decisiveness. She'll get a feeling of security. Women thrive for that feeling.

In your case, you set a wishy-washy tone to this relationsip right from the beginning. Thats why this has become an unstable relationship.

If you want her..let her lead. She was honest that she has healing to do yet. But she wants you or she wouldnt continue to see you. Shes afraid of being hurt and is tasking it slow to heal her heart and be sure of YOU. If you pull away and do that crap ignore thing, she will pull away too and u might loose her forever. Be her friend. Be her lover. And all other will come into place with time if its meant to be.

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
I know dude. You may be forgetting that when deciding whether to be with a guy or not, women are often full with doubts and fears even if their feelings for him are very strong, your job as a MAN is to be the the rock, the decisive guy who knows what he wants (HER in this case) and will act accordingly, this automatically will alleviate her fears and doubts by showing your conviction and decisiveness. She'll get a feeling of security. Women thrive for that feeling.

In your case, you set a wishy-washy tone to this relationsip right from the beginning. Thats why this has become an unstable relationship.

Omg, Shaka this is so on point. Every single word of it.

Actually, we were very clear in the beginning about our intentions and things have been great until now. We both wanted a casual sexual relationship and so we began one. I knew she wasn't ready for a serious relationship which is why I set the tone from the beginning and tried to take things excruciatingly slow with our friends with benefits title. I respect the fact that you can't force a Cap woman into doing anything against her will. Plus, you have to let them lead until they're ready to turn over the reigns, which is what I did.

Cap women don't typically fall for the whole alpha male routine. Perhaps they're more amused by it than anything, at least in my experience. You just need to be yourself as they value well placed confidence, honesty, and personal conviction. I've been there, done that and know very well how to be patient with and love a cap lady. I'm just wondering what this particular one is thinking with regard to her latest revelation about dating other people, while at the same time not being completely over her ex, or ready for a serious relationship, yet be thoroughly sexually satisfied with our beneficial friendship.

I think she's weighing her options. I think she's afraid to fall in love, or to catch feelings too soon, or to fall into the same old pattern of developing a relationship due to the ease and comfort of other factors of the relationship, such as our sexual agreement. Neither of us has had a casual or fwb relationship before so we're both sort of feeling our way around. Each time she's pulled back from me - only to come back around again - it seems as though she has let a piece of her past and her ex go, and the way she is with me is somewhat different, more open both physically and emotionally and she seems more trusting and more intimate as well.

Capbaby, I was thinking the same thing about not ignoring her. I gave it some thought today and decided against it. I'm going to continue doing what I was doing before and just be myself. I am going to start dating other women (but I won't tell her unless she specifically asks) so I'm not too focused on her and so I keep my options open, and I'll avail myself to her when she's ready. One thing about this girl is she's a triple cap and has been honest, as far as I can tell, I have no reason to not trust her. She's been up front from the beginning about what she wanted, nothing serious, which is why I didn't pursue anything more than what we hav