Capricorns' Compliments

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by CapsRule on Thursday, April 4, 2013 and has 17 replies.
My ex cap was very honest when giving compliments. I remember once he told me I must take my change my shirt because he didnt like it, (it was a very nice Mango shirt with some flowers on it). Lol I did what he asked me to do, otherwise he wasnt going to take me with him.
What I found is that they love reviving compliments, and it brights their day up.
Tell them they look in shape, sexy , and idk what else, and he will smile, smile
details
From my experience with a Cap man if I asked his honest opinion an honest answer is what I got. If these men just blurted out how they felt about your appearance, then the comments are not that bad. I think it depends on ones sensitivity level.
details
Messed up what I was trying to say.... so lets try again.
See it and appreciate it for what it is. It is a complement!
Know that they speak their truth. Appreciate the honesty.
Know that they will never blow you off just to appease you and just tell you what you want to hear if you ask their opinion.
Understand those three things, so when you get a real complement, take it to heart!!
details
Oh, and 4th, realize they don't intend it in a mean way. They have no idea that their complement could hurt your feelings.
They mean well and they actually think they are giving you an honest complement. Caps aren't good at sugar coating and this carries over even into their complements.
details
Wow, very interesting replies there. Thanks to all of you!
I must add that those were NOT solicited remarks; they just came in out of the blue. I am a Cap
myself (but have a Cancer moon) but have learned over the years how to buffer my remarks because
they CAN and DO hurt others. Maybe that's why they call me an "evolved" Cap.
At any rate, I think these guys need to think a little more before opening their mouths -- good
intentions not withstanding.
details
Posted by CapsRule
Wow, very interesting replies there. Thanks to all of you!
I must add that those were NOT solicited remarks; they just came in out of the blue. I am a Cap
myself (but have a Cancer moon) but have learned over the years how to buffer my remarks because
they CAN and DO hurt others. Maybe that's why they call me an "evolved" Cap.
At any rate, I think these guys need to think a little more before opening their mouths -- good
intentions not withstanding.


I have a cap moon and a cap mercury in addition to my sun. I try very hard to filter, but sometimes its not taken the way I mean it. People that know me really well, get it. I've also learned to add, that may now have come out right, but take it as a complement - that's how I meant it.
I had a coworker tell me one time "I'm pissed at you. You really made me mad earlier" than I asked what I said and was able to explain. She understood then, but had she not told me I would have never had a clue. I really respected her for that and we were better coworkers afterward.
details
I don't consider that being mean, its "CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM"! Being mean is using time and energy to purposely make you feel bad or insecure about yourself...
details
Posted by SureShotCap
I don't consider that being mean, its "CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM"! Being mean is using time and energy to purposely make you feel bad or insecure about yourself...



Unless I've missed something, nobody has used the word "mean" here but YOU.
They are insensitive remarks, no matter how you slice them!
Caps are supposedly so socially savvy, yet these are horrible faux pas. Miss Manners would cringe if she heard this stuff.
This is how you speak to someone you LIKE?! Those are cracks I would make to an enemy, NOT a friend!!
details
Posted by coolcappy
Posted by CapsRule
"You look better. You're obviously losing weight. Your face is better defined; it's not as fat and puffy like
it was before."
(commenting upon my rhinoplasty results) "Your nose looks great from the side, but from the front... I dunno.
It's too narrow!"
Both of course, are from Cap men.
I keep reading that women seeing Cap men need "thick skin." Perhaps Cap men need to learn tactfulness instead?


this is so true, no wonder I don't actually like them nor feel attracted to them very often. They're being too honest and tell you stuff which you'd never thought of nor seen or realized! And more often than not they deliver it in a way which makes you wonder if they're being really mean onpurpose.
Because I know I can do that too if I plan to be mean. It's a way of dong it. You can be real and honest without sounding mean and actually deliver it in a meaning, hurful way too! smile thank god I never ever feel the need to be mean to people but have my soft side activated always.
click to expand


^^^^My statement was in response to the underlined sentence.
details
Posted by CapsRule
Posted by SureShotCap
I don't consider that being mean, its "CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM"! Being mean is using time and energy to purposely make you feel bad or insecure about yourself...



How is telling someone that their nose job didn't come out they way THEY think it should have "constructive?"
How is telling someone that they used to be fat and puffy "constructive?"
Please enlighten us; we are all dying to know.
click to expand


When this is done, its because someone poses as a confident person. A confident person is in check with their emotional state. If you truly are confident enough, anything said should be bypassed by your emotions and not taken to heart... If anything, you should return the gesture in a more crafty way!!!
details
Posted by SureShotCap
Posted by CapsRule
Posted by SureShotCap
I don't consider that being mean, its "CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM"! Being mean is using time and energy to purposely make you feel bad or insecure about yourself...



How is telling someone that their nose job didn't come out they way THEY think it should have "constructive?"
How is telling someone that they used to be fat and puffy "constructive?"
Please enlighten us; we are all dying to know.


When this is done, its because someone poses as a confident person. A confident person is in check with their emotional state. If you truly are confident enough, anything said should be bypassed by your emotions and not taken to heart... If anything, you should return the gesture in a more crafty way!!!
click to expand



^^ That is utter bullshit.
You are trying to blame the recipient of the remarks. (Yes, it's ALL OUR FAULT! We aren't confident enough.)
Nobody is jumping off any bridges here, nor did I cry myself to sleep over this bullshit. I'm merely pointing out
that it's INSENSITIVE and NOT a good way to deliver a COMPLIMENT by any stretch.
It hurts to see yourself in the mirror, doesn't it?
details
Posted by SureShotCap
Posted by CapsRule
Posted by SureShotCap
I don't consider that being mean, its "CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM"! Being mean is using time and energy to purposely make you feel bad or insecure about yourself...



How is telling someone that their nose job didn't come out they way THEY think it should have "constructive?"
How is telling someone that they used to be fat and puffy "constructive?"
Please enlighten us; we are all dying to know.


When this is done, its because someone poses as a confident person. A confident person is in check with their emotional state. If you truly are confident enough, anything said should be bypassed by your emotions and not taken to heart... If anything, you should return the gesture in a more crafty way!!!
click to expand

\

You still haven't explained how that is "constructive" criticism. That's because it ISN'T!
You have been owned. Now man up and concede the point.
details
Posted by CapsRule
^^ That is utter bullshit.
You are trying to blame the recipient of the remarks. (Yes, it's ALL OUR FAULT! We aren't confident enough.)
Nobody is jumping off any bridges here, nor did I cry myself to sleep over this bullshit. I'm merely pointing out
that it's INSENSITIVE and NOT a good way to deliver a COMPLIMENT by any stretch.
It hurts to see yourself in the mirror, doesn't it?


When I write, I try to be unisex. I try to recreate the scenario and place myself in their shoes. It does not mean that I think or behave this way. You ask for reasons for motives, I give a possible solution to their actions and get blasted for it like I am him. You are not right in telling me what you wrote...
details
Posted by SureShotCap
Posted by CapsRule
^^ That is utter bullshit.
You are trying to blame the recipient of the remarks. (Yes, it's ALL OUR FAULT! We aren't confident enough.)
Nobody is jumping off any bridges here, nor did I cry myself to sleep over this bullshit. I'm merely pointing out
that it's INSENSITIVE and NOT a good way to deliver a COMPLIMENT by any stretch.
It hurts to see yourself in the mirror, doesn't it?


When I write, I try to be unisex. I try to recreate the scenario and place myself in their shoes. It does not mean that I think or behave this way. You ask for reasons for motives, I give a possible solution to their actions and get blasted for it like I am him. You are not right in telling me what you wrote...

click to expand



I know you are not him. You got blasted because you DEFENDED IT and tried to BLAME THE "VICTIM" (for lack of a better
term). That was on the heels of insisting that it was "constructive" criticism, yet when called upon to explain how it
was "CC," you dodged the question (because you had no ammo).
Again, you have lost. Now have the class and the intellectual integrity to admit that you were wrong. OR, please explain
how those cracks were "constructive." Then you can at least save face on 1/2 the material here.
details
Posted by CapsRule
Posted by SureShotCap



When I write, I try to be unisex. I try to recreate the scenario and place myself in their shoes. It does not mean that I think or behave this way. You ask for reasons for motives, I give a possible solution to their actions and get blasted for it like I am him. You are not right in telling me what you wrote...




I know you are not him. You got blasted because you DEFENDED IT and tried to BLAME THE "VICTIM" (for lack of a better
term). That was on the heels of insisting that it was "constructive" criticism, yet when called upon to explain how it
was "CC," you dodged the question (because you had no ammo).
Again, you have lost. Now have the class and the intellectual integrity to admit that you were wrong. OR, please explain
how those cracks were "constructive." Then you can at least save face on 1/2 the material here.
click to expand



Lets clear thing up! I wasn't dodging the question, I though I already answered it. Also, I am NOT defending his stupid moves. Did we not agree about the mean vs constructive part? To me, we agreed, so it was a finished conversation.
Did I not say in the above post, that I was only giving a possible explanation of why he's speaking negatively about you? Now your saying that I said or meant that being "mean is being constructive" because of a possible explanation I have stated!
In matter of fact, my beliefs are: if you belittle anyone, it's because you don't feel secure and confident about yourself, so you try to bring that person down to your level or lower... Red flag for me, male or female... I defend, not offend!!!
But you know what, I am mature, and if you think I was wrong. I will value you voice and opinion and say "I WAS WRONG". I am not afraid to admit to be wrong. Maybe it was wrongly written or wrongly read. I am sorry, but on my behalf for this miscommunication.
details
Posted by SureShotCap
Posted by CapsRule
Posted by SureShotCap



When I write, I try to be unisex. I try to recreate the scenario and place myself in their shoes. It does not mean that I think or behave this way. You ask for reasons for motives, I give a possible solution to their actions and get blasted for it like I am him. You are not right in telling me what you wrote...




I know you are not him. You got blasted because you DEFENDED IT and tried to BLAME THE "VICTIM" (for lack of a better
term). That was on the heels of insisting that it was "constructive" criticism, yet when called upon to explain how it
was "CC," you dodged the question (because you had no ammo).
Again, you have lost. Now have the class and the intellectual integrity to admit that you were wrong. OR, please explain
how those cracks were "constructive." Then you can at least save face on 1/2 the material here.



Lets clear thing up! I wasn't dodging the question, I though I already answered it. Also, I am NOT defending his stupid moves. Did we not agree about the mean vs constructive part? To me, we agreed, so it was a finished conversation.
Did I not say in the above post, that I was only giving a possible explanation of why he's speaking negatively about you? Now your saying that I said or meant that being "mean is being constructive" because of a possible explanation I have stated!
In matter of fact, my beliefs are: if you belittle anyone, it's because you don't feel secure and confident about yourself, so you try to bring that person down to your level or lower... Red flag for me, male or female... I defend, not offend!!!
But you know what, I am mature, and if you think I was wrong. I will value you voice and opinion and say "I WAS WRONG". I am not afraid to admit to be wrong. Maybe it was wrongly written or wrongly read. I am sorry, but on my behalf for this miscommunication.

click to expand



Yes, let's clear this up:
We agreed that "mean" wasn't an appropriate descriptor. But since you never did explain HOW those statements were
"constructive" criticism (you just made the assertion without any supportive statements), no there was no agreement there.
I concur with your 2nd pa
details
Well, everyone knows caps don't necessarily have good people skills. It's one of our faults.
details

Leave Your Feedback

We'd love to hear your thoughts! If you're not logged in, you can still share your feedback below. Your input helps us improve the experience for everyone. To post your own content or join the conversation, please log in or create an account.

Home Astrology Comments Forums Search

©1997-2025 dxpnet.com. All Rights Reserved.
Advertising Contact Terms of Use Privacy Policy