Posted by lovelylibra666Don't think you are reciprocating enough. We like men to lead but, they need some encouragement. By your description he was doing alot. You expect him to continue that level of engagement how long? He gets no slack? Analyze what you've contributed the way you analyze him. Let's see.
Firstly let me just say Im a Libra and he's on the Capricorn/Aquarius Cusp.
We started dating 3 weeks ago. First date...amazingly well. He text me on my way home asking to set up another for the day after. Second date...also amazingly well. He ended up staying over and took me for breakfast in the morning. Third date a few days later. He came to meet me and my friend and we hung out over the weekend. Fourth date, again great...alot of teasing, jokes we had dinner and went to the cinema. This was our last date as he was travelling for work for 4 weeks. I asked him what the deal was...if we were seeing other people, he said he only wanted to see me, I said I only wanted to see him...and we left it at that. During our two weeks of dating he was very full on with texts, calls, facetime etc. and made it clear from the start that he was looking for a relationship.
During his week away (so far) He has been very hot and cold. Some days I hear from him all day and some days I hear nothing. Some days he says he misses me and some days we just chat as if we are distant friends. Some days he's talking about sex and what he'll do to me when he gets home and others ... nothing. I know they can be distant so I haven't made a big deal when he doesn't talk and he comes back around eventually. Now we are ending our first week apart and he told me he's in a nearby town for a few hours and wants to meet for a coffee. When I said yes....he didn't respond immediately but came up with "its quite far away so I don't want to put you out..." So why ask me??? Is this a test?
So I think i'm meeting him tomorrow...his texts tonight have been very distant and he doesn't seem that bothered if I come or not. So I guess Im just trying to find out if Im being strung along or if he geniunely does like me? I can't read this guy at all... A capricorns advice would be much appreciated.
Posted by xoxfluteHow do you know when a Cap respects you or just using you?
@candi3bb
I agree with a lot of what you said, but not really on this:
"If you do want to see him but are feeling like you want to tell him how you feel-confused, or wanting clarity, or wanting to bond by sharing intimate details. Just dont. As in his head its not even a big deal right now, so if you just react (granted rightfully so) he doesn't see it that way, he'll just put you in the other box."
Yes, Caps don't like it when others blow things out of proportion or make big deal out of things that shouldn't. But the other party should tell the Cap how they feel, meaning with regards to something the Cap did, how did that something made them feel, especially if those feelings are negative feelings. I think if anything, they prefer it over someone blowing up in their face, when it comes to negative feelings because they might be able to help prevent a problem from getting out of hand.
IMO
Posted by starlord
Sees typicle for someone who is very invested in him-/herself and doing what he/she can to fulfill his/her needs. So slme days he wants attention, so he contacts you all day. Other day he doesn't, or at least not from you, so he doesn't contact you.
Not tl be rude tl the cap sign, but I have never ever ever met any other person so much focused on own needs and wants and goals as a cap and doing everything to get them fulfilled. Very opportunistic. Will sometimes beg, like literally beg with out any shame, if he wants something. And the next day he hardly notices you, because it's not about you, it's about him.
I have never met any other person, or at least not noticed it, like a cap guy that will only do things, when there is somehow something in it for him. Sometimes even if it is coming off as a good guy. He will use thay later to hit on the other girls around in that particular situation. He never does anything out of just being friendly. There are always plan and something to gain for him in whatever he does.
Posted by xoxfluteWell it's not exactly using. It's more that everything he does has some goal to it. Even with a very very good friend of his, who's also a good friend of mine. Long time ago she said to me, that he was also this way with her. And I know, he respects her and in his own way cares for her a lot, very much.Posted by starlordLargely depends on how much they respect you, imo. If they don't respect you, it's likely that they'll use you if they are still in your life.
Sees typicle for someone who is very invested in him-/herself and doing what he/she can to fulfill his/her needs. So slme days he wants attention, so he contacts you all day. Other day he doesn't, or at least not from you, so he doesn't contact you.
Not tl be rude tl the cap sign, but I have never ever ever met any other person so much focused on own needs and wants and goals as a cap and doing everything to get them fulfilled. Very opportunistic. Will sometimes beg, like literally beg with out any shame, if he wants something. And the next day he hardly notices you, because it's not about you, it's about him.
I have never met any other person, or at least not noticed it, like a cap guy that will only do things, when there is somehow something in it for him. Sometimes even if it is coming off as a good guy. He will use thay later to hit on the other girls around in that particular situation. He never does anything out of just being friendly. There are always plan and something to gain for him in whatever he does.
Though users aren't limited to Cap Sun, I think I told you about a Taurus who were only contacting me when he needed help.click to expand
Posted by NostalgicCappyySo "please please please come on, pleeeeeease" is not begging? 😂 Yes he does this. But he doesn't give a fuck. If it means he gets what he wants, he doesn't care. He will do whatever it takes to get what he wants. No shame😂Posted by starlord
Sees typicle for someone who is very invested in him-/herself and doing what he/she can to fulfill his/her needs. So slme days he wants attention, so he contacts you all day. Other day he doesn't, or at least not from you, so he doesn't contact you.
Not tl be rude tl the cap sign, but I have never ever ever met any other person so much focused on own needs and wants and goals as a cap and doing everything to get them fulfilled. Very opportunistic. Will sometimes beg, like literally beg with out any shame, if he wants something. And the next day he hardly notices you, because it's not about you, it's about him.
I have never met any other person, or at least not noticed it, like a cap guy that will only do things, when there is somehow something in it for him. Sometimes even if it is coming off as a good guy. He will use thay later to hit on the other girls around in that particular situation. He never does anything out of just being friendly. There are always plan and something to gain for him in whatever he does.
“beg”
?
Lol, NO. I think you have us confused with a different sign.click to expand
Posted by starlordOk, I could see in a joking around way, or playfully for a sexual request.Posted by NostalgicCappyySo "please please please come on, pleeeeeease" is not begging? 😂 Yes he does this. But he doesn't give a fuck. If it means he gets what he wants, he doesn't care. He will do whatever it takes to get what he wants. No shame😂Posted by starlord
Sees typicle for someone who is very invested in him-/herself and doing what he/she can to fulfill his/her needs. So slme days he wants attention, so he contacts you all day. Other day he doesn't, or at least not from you, so he doesn't contact you.
Not tl be rude tl the cap sign, but I have never ever ever met any other person so much focused on own needs and wants and goals as a cap and doing everything to get them fulfilled. Very opportunistic. Will sometimes beg, like literally beg with out any shame, if he wants something. And the next day he hardly notices you, because it's not about you, it's about him.
I have never met any other person, or at least not noticed it, like a cap guy that will only do things, when there is somehow something in it for him. Sometimes even if it is coming off as a good guy. He will use thay later to hit on the other girls around in that particular situation. He never does anything out of just being friendly. There are always plan and something to gain for him in whatever he does.
“beg”
?
Lol, NO. I think you have us confused with a different sign.click to expand
Posted by xoxfluteOfcours. The world is built on some kind of reciprocity, I truly believe that. And the philosophical theory that everything we do is somehow egotistical is also true. We are good, because it makes us self feel good.Posted by starlordPosted by xoxfluteWell it's not exactly using. It's more that everything he does has some goal to it. Even with a very very good friend of his, who's also a good friend of mine. Long time ago she said to me, that he was also this way with her. And I know, he respects her and in his own way cares for her a lot, very much.Posted by starlordLargely depends on how much they respect you, imo. If they don't respect you, it's likely that they'll use you if they are still in your life.
Sees typicle for someone who is very invested in him-/herself and doing what he/she can to fulfill his/her needs. So slme days he wants attention, so he contacts you all day. Other day he doesn't, or at least not from you, so he doesn't contact you.
Not tl be rude tl the cap sign, but I have never ever ever met any other person so much focused on own needs and wants and goals as a cap and doing everything to get them fulfilled. Very opportunistic. Will sometimes beg, like literally beg with out any shame, if he wants something. And the next day he hardly notices you, because it's not about you, it's about him.
I have never met any other person, or at least not noticed it, like a cap guy that will only do things, when there is somehow something in it for him. Sometimes even if it is coming off as a good guy. He will use thay later to hit on the other girls around in that particular situation. He never does anything out of just being friendly. There are always plan and something to gain for him in whatever he does.
Though users aren't limited to Cap Sun, I think I told you about a Taurus who were only contacting me when he needed help.
I don't think it's an unusual sentiment. I mean, to put it directly...why would anyone spend their limited time and energy for another person without some kind of incentive? It's just those incentives can be as simple as they like spending time with the other person.click to expand
Posted by NostalgicCappyyIt was on different occasions. To me it doesn't matter in which situation : he begged.Posted by starlordOk, I could see in a joking around way, or playfully for a sexual request.Posted by NostalgicCappyySo "please please please come on, pleeeeeease" is not begging? 😂 Yes he does this. But he doesn't give a fuck. If it means he gets what he wants, he doesn't care. He will do whatever it takes to get what he wants. No shame😂Posted by starlord
Sees typicle for someone who is very invested in him-/herself and doing what he/she can to fulfill his/her needs. So slme days he wants attention, so he contacts you all day. Other day he doesn't, or at least not from you, so he doesn't contact you.
Not tl be rude tl the cap sign, but I have never ever ever met any other person so much focused on own needs and wants and goals as a cap and doing everything to get them fulfilled. Very opportunistic. Will sometimes beg, like literally beg with out any shame, if he wants something. And the next day he hardly notices you, because it's not about you, it's about him.
I have never met any other person, or at least not noticed it, like a cap guy that will only do things, when there is somehow something in it for him. Sometimes even if it is coming off as a good guy. He will use thay later to hit on the other girls around in that particular situation. He never does anything out of just being friendly. There are always plan and something to gain for him in whatever he does.
“beg”
?
Lol, NO. I think you have us confused with a different sign.click to expand
Posted by NostalgicCappyyIt was on different occasions. To me it doesn't matter in which situation : he begged.Posted by starlordOk, I could see in a joking around way, or playfully for a sexual request.Posted by NostalgicCappyySo "please please please come on, pleeeeeease" is not begging? 😂 Yes he does this. But he doesn't give a fuck. If it means he gets what he wants, he doesn't care. He will do whatever it takes to get what he wants. No shame😂Posted by starlord
Sees typicle for someone who is very invested in him-/herself and doing what he/she can to fulfill his/her needs. So slme days he wants attention, so he contacts you all day. Other day he doesn't, or at least not from you, so he doesn't contact you.
Not tl be rude tl the cap sign, but I have never ever ever met any other person so much focused on own needs and wants and goals as a cap and doing everything to get them fulfilled. Very opportunistic. Will sometimes beg, like literally beg with out any shame, if he wants something. And the next day he hardly notices you, because it's not about you, it's about him.
I have never met any other person, or at least not noticed it, like a cap guy that will only do things, when there is somehow something in it for him. Sometimes even if it is coming off as a good guy. He will use thay later to hit on the other girls around in that particular situation. He never does anything out of just being friendly. There are always plan and something to gain for him in whatever he does.
“beg”
?
Lol, NO. I think you have us confused with a different sign.click to expand
Posted by xoxfluteYeah that's what I'm saying. But this guy is on another level, is also what I am saying, and then people say, caps are opportunistic, which fitts with my experience, so maybe there is something to it, so the op should maybe take that into concideration.Posted by starlordPosted by xoxfluteOfcours. The world is built on some kind of reciprocity, I truly believe that. And the philosophical theory that everything we do is somehow egotistical is also true. We are good, because it makes us self feel good.Posted by starlordPosted by xoxfluteWell it's not exactly using. It's more that everything he does has some goal to it. Even with a very very good friend of his, who's also a good friend of mine. Long time ago she said to me, that he was also this way with her. And I know, he respects her and in his own way cares for her a lot, very much.Posted by starlordLargely depends on how much they respect you, imo. If they don't respect you, it's likely that they'll use you if they are still in your life.
Sees typicle for someone who is very invested in him-/herself and doing what he/she can to fulfill his/her needs. So slme days he wants attention, so he contacts you all day. Other day he doesn't, or at least not from you, so he doesn't contact you.
Not tl be rude tl the cap sign, but I have never ever ever met any other person so much focused on own needs and wants and goals as a cap and doing everything to get them fulfilled. Very opportunistic. Will sometimes beg, like literally beg with out any shame, if he wants something. And the next day he hardly notices you, because it's not about you, it's about him.
I have never met any other person, or at least not noticed it, like a cap guy that will only do things, when there is somehow something in it for him. Sometimes even if it is coming off as a good guy. He will use thay later to hit on the other girls around in that particular situation. He never does anything out of just being friendly. There are always plan and something to gain for him in whatever he does.
Though users aren't limited to Cap Sun, I think I told you about a Taurus who were only contacting me when he needed help.
I don't think it's an unusual sentiment. I mean, to put it directly...why would anyone spend their limited time and energy for another person without some kind of incentive? It's just those incentives can be as simple as they like spending time with the other person.
This guy is on another level though. Without a doubt.
People here in the beginning reminded me of how caps are opportunistic. And I think that's true. Or at least I think it's a valid thing to concider: this person is not doing things based on his feelings towards and for me, but more based on how I make him feel about himself. Especially a guy with his behaviour as described by the op. Like he is not trying to make her happy, he is trying to make himself happy. Which is honestly probably wise. I could use more of that.
Well, you had said yourself...we do things because it makes us feel good. Outside of tangible benefits, the only other type of incentive for a human being to do something for another is something can bring some form of good feelings to that human being (ie. enjoyment, laughter, love, etc.). I don't think there is a single human being out there who is doing anything that neither brings them tangible benefits, nor bring them good feelings.click to expand
Posted by NostalgicCappyyHe does it with other people too.Posted by starlordHere’s the thing about that-Posted by NostalgicCappyyIt was on different occasions. To me it doesn't matter in which situation : he begged.Posted by starlordOk, I could see in a joking around way, or playfully for a sexual request.Posted by NostalgicCappyySo "please please please come on, pleeeeeease" is not begging? 😂 Yes he does this. But he doesn't give a fuck. If it means he gets what he wants, he doesn't care. He will do whatever it takes to get what he wants. No shame😂Posted by starlord
Sees typicle for someone who is very invested in him-/herself and doing what he/she can to fulfill his/her needs. So slme days he wants attention, so he contacts you all day. Other day he doesn't, or at least not from you, so he doesn't contact you.
Not tl be rude tl the cap sign, but I have never ever ever met any other person so much focused on own needs and wants and goals as a cap and doing everything to get them fulfilled. Very opportunistic. Will sometimes beg, like literally beg with out any shame, if he wants something. And the next day he hardly notices you, because it's not about you, it's about him.
I have never met any other person, or at least not noticed it, like a cap guy that will only do things, when there is somehow something in it for him. Sometimes even if it is coming off as a good guy. He will use thay later to hit on the other girls around in that particular situation. He never does anything out of just being friendly. There are always plan and something to gain for him in whatever he does.
“beg”
?
Lol, NO. I think you have us confused with a different sign.
But hey thanks for reminding me. I had forgotten about this 😂
In reality- Caps don’t beg. We care about our reputation, and don’t like to look weak or vulnerable.
Although, at the other end of the spectrum, if we don’t care what the other person thinks, because they’re not that important to us, and we don’t respect them, then maybe. The people that we look at as being on surface level (have not been let in), it doesn’t matter.
I’m answering as a Capricorn, but I’ve also never known any that beg. My mom is a Capricorn as well, she’d rather cut off her own hand, than beg (or even ask) for anything. Quite a few of my friends are Caps, and I’ve never known them to beg for anything either. That’s embarrassing. Some might disagree with me, but I doubt it.
So again, if he was begging you for anything, it was probably because he was joking around with you, or because you hadn’t been let in by him yet.click to expand
Posted by starlordPosted by NostalgicCappyyHe does it with other people too.Posted by starlordHere’s the thing about that-Posted by NostalgicCappyyIt was on different occasions. To me it doesn't matter in which situation : he begged.Posted by starlordOk, I could see in a joking around way, or playfully for a sexual request.Posted by NostalgicCappyySo "please please please come on, pleeeeeease" is not begging? 😂 Yes he does this. But he doesn't give a fuck. If it means he gets what he wants, he doesn't care. He will do whatever it takes to get what he wants. No shame😂Posted by starlord
Sees typicle for someone who is very invested in him-/herself and doing what he/she can to fulfill his/her needs. So slme days he wants attention, so he contacts you all day. Other day he doesn't, or at least not from you, so he doesn't contact you.
Not tl be rude tl the cap sign, but I have never ever ever met any other person so much focused on own needs and wants and goals as a cap and doing everything to get them fulfilled. Very opportunistic. Will sometimes beg, like literally beg with out any shame, if he wants something. And the next day he hardly notices you, because it's not about you, it's about him.
I have never met any other person, or at least not noticed it, like a cap guy that will only do things, when there is somehow something in it for him. Sometimes even if it is coming off as a good guy. He will use thay later to hit on the other girls around in that particular situation. He never does anything out of just being friendly. There are always plan and something to gain for him in whatever he does.
“beg”
?
Lol, NO. I think you have us confused with a different sign.
But hey thanks for reminding me. I had forgotten about this 😂
In reality- Caps don’t beg. We care about our reputation, and don’t like to look weak or vulnerable.
Although, at the other end of the spectrum, if we don’t care what the other person thinks, because they’re not that important to us, and we don’t respect them, then maybe. The people that we look at as being on surface level (have not been let in), it doesn’t matter.
I’m answering as a Capricorn, but I’ve also never known any that beg. My mom is a Capricorn as well, she’d rather cut off her own hand, than beg (or even ask) for anything. Quite a few of my friends are Caps, and I’ve never known them to beg for anything either. That’s embarrassing. Some might disagree with me, but I doubt it.
So again, if he was begging you for anything, it was probably because he was joking around with you, or because you hadn’t been let in by him yet.
And no he's not joking around. He just doesn't care. If he gets what he wants, then it's a win for him, no matter how he gets it. You can't debate this stuff 😂 he does it with his friend he calls his sister, one he really cares for. Nothing to discuss, this is how this particular cap does.click to expand
Posted by ellllePosted by truecapHoly Crap!
I think you slept with him too soon.
Welcome Back! ❤click to expand