confusion with my Cap

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by aries87 on Saturday, March 2, 2013 and has 24 replies.
As a few of you may know, I wrote a post awhile back about my Capricorn bf breaking up with me right before I found out I was pregnant. Well here's an update.
He invites me to hang out on a regular basis again, he takes me out to dinner frequently, and we hug and cuddle like we ised to when we were together. However, we haven't had an official discussion about whether we're back together again (although it totally feels like it ). The reason I'm confused though is because he hasn't tried to have sex with me. I'm insecure about making the first move since I'm pregnant and dont know if he's still attracted to me and also because he's the one who broke up with me. I have heard that Caps are extremely cautious in relationships and hide their emotions, and this definitely describes him.
So here's my questions. Should I make a move on him? Do you think he's just being cautious or do you think he's just doing the right thing by being there for me during my pregnancy but doesn't want to be with me? Any advice to help our communication would be appreciated since that seems to be our main problem.
Thanks!
Don't make any moves on him. Let him take the lead here. Perhaps rebuilding from friendship will be your best tactic.
Sounds like he's trying to stand up and do the right thing, so let him in his own way and on his own time. This is a situation where your patience will make all the difference.
Don't worry about the baby. Caps are responsible and will be there for their children.
Don't ask about your relationship! If you force a decision, it might not go in your favor. He will tell you when the time is right. Try to act natural. I know your hormones are going to be on blast soon. Control yourself. Caps want things that last forever. If you can provide hints that say you ain't going no where, you might tip over his decision towards a second chance. There is NO STRIKE 3 WITH CAPRICORNS, so remember that!
Aquapiecescusp- I am 8 months pregnant, but didn't find out until I was 5 months (long story) so he's only had a few months to take it all in.
Thank you all for your advice...I really appreciate it and now know to let him control the pace of our relationship. smile
How have things worked out on the job front?
I have gotten a part time office job for now and will continue looking for something full time with benefits a few weeks after the baby is born.
That's GREAT!!!!!
Posted by truecap
Don't make any moves on him. Let him take the lead here. Perhaps rebuilding from friendship will be your best tactic.
Sounds like he's trying to stand up and do the right thing, so let him in his own way and on his own time. This is a situation where your patience will make all the difference.


+1
Thanks truecap! smile I'm trying my best to show him I'm as motivated as he is!
He feels guilty...
He actually does not want u...
But since u r pregnant...
He has no choice....
Posted by Spectre
He feels guilty...
He actually does not want u...
But since u r pregnant...
He has no choice....



You have no way to know that!!!
He should feel guiltY, she is pregnant with his child! He is stepping up to the plate, what's wrong with that? If he didn't want her he wouldn't have been sleeping with her. What a tool.
The truth is sometimes hard 2 swallow...
1st he broke off...
Means he does not want her....
Then she informs him she is pregnant...
He feels guilty...
She cuddles him and he merely cuddle back...
Because...
He wants to ensure his baby is born correctly with a functioning mother...
No sex means he does not desire her and might already be in love with another hot chick...

Perhaps he's making sure the two parents will be able to become friends and get along for the sake of the baby. That is called responsibility. No baby needs to be raised in an atmosphere of the parents fighting and it appears he wants to be in the baby's life. That's a good thing.
The OP wants a lovey dovey relation.
She wants sex...
She wants advice on how best 2 put pressure on him...
And all of u here r providing advice to her...
But in actuality....
He just wants to ensure a healthy baby is born...
The rest does not matter....
He already feels trapped...
Forced...
Want 2 add in more ??

First of all, when we broke up he said he still loved me but needed some space and time to figure some things out. He did not say he didn't want to be with me ever again.
Secondly, he DOES have a choice. I am not trying to pressure him at all. I told him he doesn't have to be in the baby's life if he doesn't want to. I told him I WANT to work things out and be together, but i don't NEED him to be. I have the full support of my family and he knows i could raise the baby without him if i absolutely had to.
I know he is not seeing/talking/dating anyone else for a fact.
I appreciate your honesty since that's what i asked for but I'd appreciate if you don't comment anymore of you're going to be mean or rude.
Thank you.
First of all, when we broke up he said he still loved me but needed some space and time to figure some things out. He did not say he didn't want to be with me ever again.
Secondly, he DOES have a choice. I am not trying to pressure him at all. I told him he doesn't have to be in the baby's life if he doesn't want to. I told him I WANT to work things out and be together, but i don't NEED him to be. I have the full support of my family and he knows i could raise the baby if i absolutely had to.
I know he is not seeing/talking/dating anyone else for a fact.
I appreciate your honesty since that's what i asked for but I'd appreciate if you don't comment anymore of you're going to be mean or rude.
Thank you.
Hmmm..
If u want 2 believe in delusions..
That's ur right.
I'm just telling as how it is..
No man will ever abandon a women he loves just for his own space..
Thats an excuse women has been hearing for centuries...
And they dont learn..
If u ever want 2 hv a glimmer of hope with him...
Then make him feel what its like to lose u...
Only then will it dawn upon him what is life without u ..
Posted by Spectre
Hmmm..

If u ever want 2 hv a glimmer of hope with him...
Then make him feel what its like to lose u...
Only then will it dawn upon him what is life without u ..



Spectre, this has already happened per her old threads.
OP, there are Cap men out there with Spectre's opinions. He is being honest, but I don't think he knows the history of your situation.
My advice is to build the friendship and don't think about the relationship side of things. The relationship could develop in the future, but right now, you too have much more important things to deal with and a romantic relationship isn't a priority at this time.
Thanks trucap...I'll take things slow. smile
Posted by truecap
Posted by Spectre
Hmmm..

If u ever want 2 hv a glimmer of hope with him...
Then make him feel what its like to lose u...
Only then will it dawn upon him what is life without u ..



Spectre, this has already happened per her old threads.
OP, there are Cap men out there with Spectre's opinions. He is being honest, but I don't think he knows the history of your situation.
My advice is to build the friendship and don't think about the relationship side of things. The relationship could develop in the future, but right now, you too have much more important things to deal with and a romantic relationship isn't a priority at this time.
click to expand


Ur advise, the probability that it will work is higher...
Impressive...
Posted by Spectre
Posted by truecap
Posted by Spectre
Hmmm..

If u ever want 2 hv a glimmer of hope with him...
Then make him feel what its like to lose u...
Only then will it dawn upon him what is life without u ..



Spectre, this has already happened per her old threads.
OP, there are Cap men out there with Spectre's opinions. He is being honest, but I don't think he knows the history of your situation.
My advice is to build the friendship and don't think about the relationship side of things. The relationship could develop in the future, but right now, you too have much more important things to deal with and a romantic relationship isn't a priority at this time.


Ur advise, the probability that it will work is higher...
Impressive...

click to expand


Why, thank you Sir!
Ok so here's an update:
I've been taking your guys advice and not mentioning our relationship to my Cap. I've also taken @SureShotCaps advice and try to show him I'm not going anywhere so he feels secure. He has been looking for a house and when I asked him back in Jan. if he wanted to move in together (like he offered a just a few months before I got pregnant ), he said let's just wait and see where things go. But he still made it sound positive. He's been saying things like, "A two car garage for OUR cars", a yard for the dog (which is technically mine), mentioning my mom coming over everyday to babysit, etc.
However, a mutal friend of ours said he has been telling people we're NOT moving in together! I haven't heard about caps being fake or playing head games!? I'm so confused and just ready to give up hope and move on.
Our mutal friend said in her opinion it has nothing to do with his sign, but just being a man in general. She said from her POV he wanted to move in together before I got pregnant because he was scared of losing me, but now may be getting bored because he knows I'm not going anywhere since I'm pregnant and feels like he just doesn't have to try because he has me wrapped around his finger. She suggested I start ignoring him (except for the necessary convos regarding the baby) and stop hanging out with him even when he asks me to.
I know it doesn't usually work to play games with a Cap, but idk what else to do besides just give up all together. What do you all think?? Sad
Maybe he doesn't know what he wants to do yet.

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