Crazy confusion with Capricorn girl
This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by Rchrd on Wednesday, April 2, 2014 and has 12 replies.
Also, there were two times when I made slight forward movements towards her. One time I gave her flowers (within a certain more innocent context) and the other time I told her she was beautiful after she'd told me she was wanting to lose weight. On both occasions she immediately 'opened up to me' about having seen an ex-boyfriend from 5 years previous and wondering about getting back with him, even though, of course, she has a boyfriend. It was such an irrelevant and random thing to say to me, but me and my mate and my mate's girlfriend took it as her way of letting me know that her relationship with her boyfriend wasn't secure and she was open to moving on. Again, I took this as a sign. Another weird comment she made was when I jokingly complimented her on arranging the tea and coffee mugs very neatly, to which she replied (with a little grin) 'i'll make a good little housewife'...??!! It was - like a few other things she's said and done - so artificial, abstract and forced, that to me it had to mean she was forcing hints to me into situations.
So all these things are building and each week i've kind of upped it a little bit to give her more of a clue that I like her. So yesterday I send her an email with a description of a Capricorn girl in it asking her if it fit her, as she had no interest in astrology and I thought she'd be curious to read about it. Also, it was a chance for me to make a few comments on the description and how I saw it related to her. One of the things it said was that Capricorn girls can be insecure about their looks, so I commented along the lines of 'I hope to God you are not insecure about your looks cos you are incredibly beautiful'...
So all these things are building and each week i've kind of upped it a little bit to give her more of a clue that I like her. So yesterday I send her an email with a description of a Capricorn girl in it asking her if it fit her, as she had no interest in astrology and I thought she'd be curious to read about it. Also, it was a chance for me to make a few comments on the description and how I saw it related to her. One of the things it said was that Capricorn girls can be insecure about their looks, so I commented along the lines of 'I hope to God you are not insecure about your looks cos you are incredibly beautiful'...
I thought I was being a little charmer, alas, this morning I go into volunteer and her line-manager pulls me to one side and tells me that she had shown him the email and was worried about it because of my inappropriate comments about her being so beautiful. FUCK. I'm obviously sat there feeling a bit gutted, embarrassed and confused, but keeping it as cool as a Virgo can. The line-manager suggests she come in and we talk it through together. She basically says that she felt like my comment (plus the previous flowers) suggested I had romantic feelings for her and she wanted to make it clear that she didn't see me like that and that she didn't want me to think she was leading me on. Now, I don't believe she was consciously leading me on, and I completely accept that I came on too strong, that for all my reading up on Caps I ignored the cardinal rule of being very, very patient. But there really were sooooo many signs there! I'm a committed doubter, but in this situation I was like 'she defo likes me!' I had no doubts. But then this. I hold my hands up to fucking up, but I don't understand her actions.
Anyway, a part of me feels like this is another test, but maybe i'm just being delusional. I'm full on baffled. Would a Cap girl go this far to test someone? What's weird after all of that is that she still wants me to work with her, and she was happy to draw a line under it all, and the way she sat there and scrutinised me, it really seemed like I was being assessed in that situation. Anyway, so having played it all down and obviously denying any romantic intentions whatsoever to her I suggest we draw a line under it and she agreed, and we both said we were happy to forget about this and just carry on as before. Which I can do easily, and maybe she can.
Anyway, a part of me feels like this is another test, but maybe i'm just being delusional. I'm full on baffled. Would a Cap girl go this far to test someone? What's weird after all of that is that she still wants me to work with her, and she was happy to draw a line under it all, and the way she sat there and scrutinised me, it really seemed like I was being assessed in that situation. Anyway, so having played it all down and obviously denying any romantic intentions whatsoever to her I suggest we draw a line under it and she agreed, and we both said we were happy to forget about this and just carry on as before. Which I can do easily, and maybe she can.
So, what do you all think? I've clearly made a mess of this situation, but I find it impossible to believe that she wasn't interested in me, but I guess I took small hints and small movements to be stronger than they were and, unfortunately, responded a bit too strongly to them to the point where this craziness unfolded. Do you think she could like me and still have this happen? Do you think she never saw me like that at all and i've just imagined it all? Could it even be another test of some sort to see how I respond (my response will be impeccable cos that's how we Virgo's roll)...?? I just don't know what to make of it all. Such a weird unfolding. Also, can I redeem myself from here? Even though this has happened, could she ever see me in that romantic light, or is this fuck up forever tainted what could have been?
This is voluntary work? I.e., you don't get paid?
Posted by RichCap
This is voluntary work? I.e., you don't get paid?
Yeah, I volunteer with recovering addicts.
Posted by CluelessCancer
Yes you're an idiot and you're delusional.
This is certainly a possibility! If this is the consensus opinion then i'll happily rest my head. I've got no argument for or against, I am merely confused.
You have the option of leaving then. No she's not interested, and she sounds like a right fucking idiot to me.
Posted by RichCap
You have the option of leaving then. No she's not interested, and she sounds like a right fucking idiot to me.
Why does she seem like a 'right fucking idiot'? I'm not sure what she has done wrong. I don't know her too well, but she seems like a very nice, well to do girl. I'm the idiot here. But that's okay! Such is life. I live, I learn.
Who talks about all their butter like that then gets their line manager to deal with you.
She can't separate her professional and personal, so she's an idiot.
She can't separate her professional and personal, so she's an idiot.
Posted by RichCap
Who talks about all their butter like that then gets their line manager to deal with you.
She can't separate her professional and personal, so she's an idiot.
Yeah the line manager thing was a bit lame.
Rchrd. You are a Virgo male and she is a Cap female. The connection is there and it is very real. However. However. You did your research with an eye to what you wanted to see and not to the whole picture. Caps feel safe around Virgos and vice versa but that does not mean they want you. She may see you as a friend a kindred spirit or whatever.
It is not your job to read between the lines or inject yourself into anything. You work at a place where people put their most intimate feelings on display. Sharing is encouraged. Where do you get off thinking that it is OK for you use any inside information as a way to starting dating anyone?
Work is work and home is home and if you truly want to help these people you will be a good Virgo and respect the boundaries.
Hope is not lost. Be the perfect Virgo and respect boundaries and maybe maybe you can salvage the situation.
Work, Volunteer or whatever is NEVER a place to pick up people. If you like someone and you think they may like you BY ALL MEANS do not write anything inappropiate to them or have someone do it for you. Invite them out on a friendly cup of coffee or whatever BUTnever a date situation until you both feel comfortable to talk about it. And usually the woman will know how she wants you to feel about her so she will signal.
Wake up. And help the addicts and yourself by respecting boundaries.
It is not your job to read between the lines or inject yourself into anything. You work at a place where people put their most intimate feelings on display. Sharing is encouraged. Where do you get off thinking that it is OK for you use any inside information as a way to starting dating anyone?
Work is work and home is home and if you truly want to help these people you will be a good Virgo and respect the boundaries.
Hope is not lost. Be the perfect Virgo and respect boundaries and maybe maybe you can salvage the situation.
Work, Volunteer or whatever is NEVER a place to pick up people. If you like someone and you think they may like you BY ALL MEANS do not write anything inappropiate to them or have someone do it for you. Invite them out on a friendly cup of coffee or whatever BUTnever a date situation until you both feel comfortable to talk about it. And usually the woman will know how she wants you to feel about her so she will signal.
Wake up. And help the addicts and yourself by respecting boundaries.
Posted by RichCap
Who talks about all their butter like that then gets their line manager to deal with you.
She can't separate her professional and personal, so she's an idiot.
I totally agree with RichCap. This girl sounds like a bitch to me. Why on G_d's green earth would she share this kind of information with her line manager? If anything, SHE is the one who's behaving in an inappropriate manner. You're better off running as far and fast as you can from this woman.
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