Damn Capricorn!

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by ashley1734 on Monday, February 1, 2016 and has 93 replies.
You are on page out of 2 | Reverse Order
Just thought this was interesting. The Cap man I dated at the end of the year last year stopped talking on New Year's Eve (we were over well before that)....the last conversation was him telling me he wasn't sure we would work out but that he wanted to be friends to which I said I would need some time first, but hopefully I could be his friend soon. And he said "that will ruin any chance of this working out anytime soon but I understand." Very confusing but at that point I didn't care to understand his thought process anymore.

In general I would say we ended on ok terms...he said he cared about me and that he thinks about me every day and that wouldn't change anytime soon. I said the same and that was that.

Haven't run into him or heard anything from him until yesterday. I went to a bar I never go to that's not really near my house and even further away from his. It was sort of a slow time of day so it was empty...except for him and his friends of course. We made eye contact and sort of smiled but he didn't get up to say hello or anything so I just sat with my friend at the bar. Eventually Cap got up to the bar to order a drink so I got up to say hi to him...gave him a hug and asked how he's been and he was very, very bland and cold. He went and sat back down and I talked to his friend a bit, but Cap didn't look at me the rest of the time we were there. When they left, he gave a very bland "bye" and that was it. I texted him that it was good to see him and I'm glad he's well and he said that it was awkward running into me and he was sorry for that. I just said "no worries I understand. I have missed you." and he said "I think you're full of sh*t"

Wow.
details
I'm sorry. I had to laugh, because I did not expect that last sentence.

No, it's not funny. It was rude. I apologize for laughing.

I guess he thought you weren't sincere? Only reason I could think of why he would respond that way. Do you have any ideas why he would do that?



details
Ah sh!t, blunt Cap mode. Ayyyyy!!! Gives no fuks at all.

I agree, there must've been something to make him think you're bs-ing him.
details
Posted by Gobshite
Posted by truecap
I guess he thought you weren't sincere? Only reason I could think of why he would respond that way. Do you have any ideas why he would do that?





Usually, when a decent Cap responds like that, it's because it wasn't the first time that person was 'full of shit'...

He's now got nothing to lose and has gone into blunt Cap mode.
click to expand

Yeah....I was just being nice.
details
Posted by truecap
I'm sorry. I had to laugh, because I did not expect that last sentence.

No, it's not funny. It was rude. I apologize for laughing.

I guess he thought you weren't sincere? Only reason I could think of why he would respond that way. Do you have any ideas why he would do that?





Oh no it's totally hilarious it's just bizarre.

NO clue why he would say that. Last I knew we left things on nice enough terms. I'm not dating anyone else, otherwise I could see him saying I was full of ****. Who knows.
details
Posted by Gobshite
He's perfectly within his rights to be honest and maybe he's right...

You're the one who didn't want to remain friends with him, but here you are telling us how his awkward behaviour concerned you, and how he wasn't giving you enough attention and eye contact.

At least he had the decency to acknowledge you.



That sure is a lot of judgment! I had no problems with him not giving me any attention, I was with a friend and he was with his. I was just surprised at how cold he was considering we were pretty nice and honest with each other at our last conversation. I wasn't like "no I don't want to be friends" I just politely said I would need some time. Of course he's within his rights to be honest, just seemed like a very strange response to me letting him know I missed him.

We haven't had any previous issues with dishonesty. I'm a pretty blunt person myself.
details
If you feel like you guys were always transparent with one another, why don't you just ask him what he means by that?

Clearly he's salty about something.

details
Posted by Skitty
If you feel like you guys were always transparent with one another, why don't you just ask him what he means by that?

Clearly he's salty about something.



I actually ended up doing that a little bit ago. We'll see. I don't like having bitterness at the end of even the shortest relationships.
details
Posted by bnr7013
I'm not a cap let me just say that first. I've dated a few caps & have several cap friends - I'm a sag so they are still pretty confusing to me at times. Capipuffs are kinda my favorite though Winking

Your actions prove otherwise to him. If you missed him you would have done something to show that (in his eyes.) IMO it seems like he was reaching for a reaction when you two ended things. This happens when at least one of you can't be vulnerable...or won't be. I've had caps tell me they were seeking a reaction from me by the way.

Things ended >> you did nothing>> he did nothing >> he felt you didn't really care >> you "showed" you didn't really care >> he became bitter >> you miss him (or else you wouldn't be posting) >> he wishes you wouldn't have let things go so "easily"

One of y'all needs to put your mf'n guard down & a cap isn't known to be the first one at it. Good luck!

I like the way you explained this very simply.

It makes sense, BUT he is the one who ended things and suggested we just be friends. I made it very clear I had feelings for him beyond friends...I felt there wasn't much I could do beyond that since he said he didn't know that things would work between us and didn't want to waste his time (ouch, but I mean I had to respect it).

He comes off like a royal jerk, but I feel like there's some sensitivity in there somewhere. I never wronged him or anything, we've always been very honest with each other, so it's just been a bit unnerving to get this cold front.
details
Posted by Gobshite
Posted by bnr7013
I also don't doubt that he was the one that ended things. I might get the evil eye on this but they DO stuff like this .... Sometimes I wonder if it's to see how far you'll go?

No, a lot of the time, our instincts know when a relationship's going nowhere. We like to remain true to ourselves, whenever we can. We're not as stubborn or deluded as some other signs.

Sagittarius and Gemini... not the most compatible star signs for a Capricorn. And Sagittarians do have a certain reputation that many Cappies can spot a mile off, no matter how sincere you try to come across.


click to expand

Yeah what you're saying sounds like what I think he felt. His instinct for whatever reason told him this wouldn't work out. Can't argue with that! Still he was so adamant about wanting us to have a strong friendship, and I agreed that eventually I would like that and he said he respected me just needed a little time, so I suppose I was just caught off gaurd at how cold he is now. Oh well.
details
Posted by bnr7013
Without a doubt ...cap males can come off as jerks but there's a lot of jelly filling behind that macho front!

I also don't doubt that he was the one that ended things. I might get the evil eye on this but they DO stuff like this .... Sometimes I wonder if it's to see how far you'll go? Almost as if you disappearing from his life so easily was just validation for him ending things in the first place. I'd like to think I'm over analyzing but ...

Anyways, you were out of his league huh? Lol

Haha out of his league...what makes you ask that? My friends and even some of his told me I was way out of his league but I don't really look at life or romance in those terms. Or I try not to anyway. I don't think I want anything to happen now with the cap, I more just wanted to understand.
details
He sounds like a big baby ugh lol

It's clear he is upset and guess what when your upset with someone you care

I wouldn't have thought anything of it...seems like a child throwing some pseudo tantrum
details
Posted by balblair
He sounds like a big baby ugh lol

It's clear he is upset and guess what when your upset with someone you care

I wouldn't have thought anything of it...seems like a child throwing some pseudo tantrum

That has been his style. I'm curious as to what type of woman this guy will end up with. Seems like a perpetual bachelor.
details
Posted by Gobshite
Posted by ashley1734
Seems like a perpetual bachelor.

At least he won't be a divorcee, who's been financially screwed by his ex-wife...
click to expand


Oh he would NEVER allow that to happen in any world.
details
Posted by bnr7013
Posted by Gobshite
Posted by bnr7013
I also don't doubt that he was the one that ended things. I might get the evil eye on this but they DO stuff like this .... Sometimes I wonder if it's to see how far you'll go?

No, a lot of the time, our instincts know when a relationship's going nowhere. We like to remain true to ourselves, whenever we can. We're not as stubborn or deluded as some other signs.

Sagittarius and Gemini... not the most compatible star signs for a Capricorn. And Sagittarians do have a certain reputation that many Cappies can spot a mile off, no matter how sincere you try to come across.



I get what you are trying to say but sometimes it seems like self sabatoge - like when things are good it just can't be true so you call it an "instinct" & make a quick exit. It goes back to the need for control (which isn't a bad thing) & that's what caps prefer .... if they can't control the outcome then it's not for them.
click to expand

That sounds just like him, by him saying "I don't know that this will work in the end" and then continuing on to say he wants me in my life as a friend, but then again saying "well that will ruin the chance of anything working in the near future." It's like he wanted me to be vulnerable and go out on a limb without any effort on his part. Nope.
details
damn those capricorns. damn them. damn them all
details
Posted by HouseCleaning
damn those capricorns. damn them. damn them all

Seriously.
details
Posted by Gobshite
Posted by bnr7013
Posted by Gobshite
Posted by bnr7013
I also don't doubt that he was the one that ended things. I might get the evil eye on this but they DO stuff like this .... Sometimes I wonder if it's to see how far you'll go?

No, a lot of the time, our instincts know when a relationship's going nowhere. We like to remain true to ourselves, whenever we can. We're not as stubborn or deluded as some other signs.

Sagittarius and Gemini... not the most compatible star signs for a Capricorn. And Sagittarians do have a certain reputation that many Cappies can spot a mile off, no matter how sincere you try to come across.



I get what you are trying to say but sometimes it seems like self sabatoge - like when things are good it just can't be true so you call it an "instinct" & make a quick exit. It goes back to the need for control (which isn't a bad thing) & that's what caps prefer .... if they can't control the outcome then it's not for them.

You obviously don't get what I'm trying to say, when you then try to put words in my mouth and skew the original intention of my post...

Self-sabotage? That's the forte of a Gemini or Scorpio - not a Capricorn. But obviously, you're too proud and deluded to see the woods from the trees.

Everybody wants to have some control in their relationships, to a certain degree. Who doesn't want to be in control of their future, particularly one that's potentially influenced by a SO? So, right there, your argument is seriously flawed.

No, this all comes down to you not being happy because things didn't go your way. Nothing more, nothing less.


click to expand

That wasn't the OP (me) who posted about the self-sabotage by the way.

I tend to agree that he just wasn't feeling I was right for him. I accept it. Don't have to like it though haha.
details
Posted by Gobshite
Posted by ashley1734
Posted by Gobshite
Posted by bnr7013
Posted by Gobshite
Posted by bnr7013
I also don't doubt that he was the one that ended things. I might get the evil eye on this but they DO stuff like this .... Sometimes I wonder if it's to see how far you'll go?

No, a lot of the time, our instincts know when a relationship's going nowhere. We like to remain true to ourselves, whenever we can. We're not as stubborn or deluded as some other signs.

Sagittarius and Gemini... not the most compatible star signs for a Capricorn. And Sagittarians do have a certain reputation that many Cappies can spot a mile off, no matter how sincere you try to come across.



I get what you are trying to say but sometimes it seems like self sabatoge - like when things are good it just can't be true so you call it an "instinct" & make a quick exit. It goes back to the need for control (which isn't a bad thing) & that's what caps prefer .... if they can't control the outcome then it's not for them.

You obviously don't get what I'm trying to say, when you then try to put words in my mouth and skew the original intention of my post...

Self-sabotage? That's the forte of a Gemini or Scorpio - not a Capricorn. But obviously, you're too proud and deluded to see the woods from the trees.

Everybody wants to have some control in their relationships, to a certain degree. Who doesn't want to be in control of their future, particularly one that's potentially influenced by a SO? So, right there, your argument is seriously flawed.

No, this all comes down to you not being happy because things didn't go your way. Nothing more, nothing less.



That wasn't the OP (me) who posted about the self-sabotage by the way.

I tend to agree that he just wasn't feeling I was right for him. I accept it. Don't have to like it though haha.

See, there you go. You have to make everything about you, don't you?


click to expand

Huh?
No I was just making sure you knew I was in agreeance with you. Sorry?
details
Wasn't expecting that last sentence either....but typical smh. Cap males can make you really dislike them when they feel they can talk to you how they want.

Makes you want to pop them in the mouth a few times. Cant stand it.

I don't think you did anything wrong at all. Maybe he felt it was suspicious that you showed up where he was, and eventually talked to his friend. Maybe in his mind he thought it was a setup? Idk
details
I was hurt once by a guy like badly, he then wanted to remain friends. To me since he hurt me and cheated, there should be some effort on his part to maintain a friendship. I couldn't just contact him whenever he now had a GF. I gave the respect I should've been given when he was dating me. I wouldn't call, text, FB anything, thinking if he wanted to talk to me he would. Weeks day almost a month went by nothing. Out of the blue boom saying hello . I haven't responded back don't intend here.
details
Posted by lnana04
Wasn't expecting that last sentence either....but typical smh. Cap males can make you really dislike them when they feel they can talk to you how they want.

Makes you want to pop them in the mouth a few times. Cant stand it.

I don't think you did anything wrong at all. Maybe he felt it was suspicious that you showed up where he was, and eventually talked to his friend. Maybe in his mind he thought it was a setup? Idk

Oh I don't think that's possible. We were much closer to the part of town I live than where he lives and goes out. Although not really all that near either of us. Was the most random place we ever could have run into each other. I hadn't spoken to him in a month and he has no social media and I have hardly any so I think he knows how random that was. When I talked to his friend it was only because he came up to order a drink where I was standing. Very brief but he was friendly at least. I have no clue. I tend to think he really just doesn't give a shit by his actions, but I don't think someone who I spend a good about of time with (and a lot of fun) would be that cold if he didn't care. When I don't care, I'm still cordial if I've had some kind of history with the person.
details
Posted by bnr7013
Things ended >> you did nothing>> he did nothing >> he felt you didn't really care >> you "showed" you didn't really care >> he became bitter >> you miss him (or else you wouldn't be posting) >> he wishes you wouldn't have let things go so "easily"

One of y'all needs to put your mf'n guard down & a cap isn't known to be the first one at it. Good luck!

This is probably the most accurate response of what happened

I think maybe he wanted to be friends with you because he may have been catching feelings but wanted to feel you out some more and at least that way, if things didn't work out (like he thought) you guys could still be friends in the end. Since you didn't allow that to happen right away, he probably assumed you were bullsh---ing about liking him, because if you really liked him, you would have made an attempt. And you didn't, so he stopped trying. He probably got defensive when he saw you because he's still hurt about you not trying.
details
Lol makes sense, I usually get "talk is cheap" from my cappy...actions only pls, they dont appreciate "words" LOL god help women who deal with the cappys
details
Posted by CapricornGuy12
Posted by bnr7013
Things ended >> you did nothing>> he did nothing >> he felt you didn't really care >> you "showed" you didn't really care >> he became bitter >> you miss him (or else you wouldn't be posting) >> he wishes you wouldn't have let things go so "easily"

One of y'all needs to put your mf'n guard down & a cap isn't known to be the first one at it. Good luck!

This is probably the most accurate response of what happened

I think maybe he wanted to be friends with you because he may have been catching feelings but wanted to feel you out some more and at least that way, if things didn't work out (like he thought) you guys could still be friends in the end. Since you didn't allow that to happen right away, he probably assumed you were bullsh---ing about liking him, because if you really liked him, you would have made an attempt. And you didn't, so he stopped trying. He probably got defensive when he saw you because he's still hurt about you not trying.
click to expand

I feel a bit naive, but I really never thought of it that way. I thought I was being so gentle with him and that he could sense that I was being genuine. Assuming will get you no where. Lesson learned here though for sure.
details
so whats the update now
details
Posted by HouseCleaning
so whats the update now

Well I attempted to be sweet and put out a feeler over text. He has been really cold, but always responds. Finally I just asked if he maybe wanted to get coffee sometime and catch up and he said "yeah we can do that"....that was only a couple days after I ran into him. So I've sort of been just trying to be friendly with him, ask him how his day is etc....this is WAY outside my comfort zone because normally when my efforts are met with a cold wall, I just move on, but for some reason I kept trying to just be nice to him. Now, be advised, I don't have any ulterior motives with the Cap at this point...I just want to try and be his friend like he wanted all along.

Anyway he seemed to get colder and colder to my texts and after not responding to something he sends a text the next day and says "I was drunk all day, but I don't know what to say anyway." So...I think my efforts are done here haha.

Oh at one point when we first started texting after running into each other I just said "so how is everything with you?" and he said "we can catch up in person, I'm not a big fan of catching up over text" so that made me think maybe he really would want to just grab a coffee and play nice, but it doesn't seem that's the case afterall.

I think I did a good job being loving and reaching out, he does not reciprocate so I gotta just let him be. If someone wants you in your life I think they will make that known. smile

Thanks for all the advice! Gem and Cap are just too different I think (in general).
details
Posted by MissGemmi
Posted by lnana04
Wasn't expecting that last sentence either....but typical smh. Cap males can make you really dislike them when they feel they can talk to you how they want.

Makes you want to pop them in the mouth a few times. Cant stand it.

I don't think you did anything wrong at all. Maybe he felt it was suspicious that you showed up where he was, and eventually talked to his friend. Maybe in his mind he thought it was a setup? Idk

Yes. I always feel drawn to cap men in the beginning, because of the stoic attitude they have and somehow they delude me in thinking there's more in there than they show. Then they make remarks that really don't fit in the whole context and make them look like complete a**w***s.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY don't understand the whole fuss about cap males, their attractiveness, seriousness and intelligence, while to me they are big elephants in a petit porcelain room, smashing everything around them. I don't think a Gemini female fits a Cap male. WAY too different. Gemini females like down to earth people, no diva behavior. I feel (of course not all and these are personal encounters) cap males are a bit too arrogant to my liking. They sell themselves with a high price, but these are artificial prices.



click to expand

I do like down to earth people, and I do think he is relatively down to earth, but it's like we don't trust each others intentions.

I can't say I have anything bad to say about him, I think he just didn't like me haha.
details
yea if he doesn't want to be in your life. screw him
details
Posted by HouseCleaning
yea if he doesn't want to be in your life. screw him




I agree 100%
details
Posted by NostalgicCappy
Posted by HouseCleaning
yea if he doesn't want to be in your life. screw him




I agree 100%
click to expand

Me too, I just want to know WHY. Haha. F it though.
details
Posted by CapricornGuy12
Posted by ashley1734
I think I did a good job being loving and reaching out, he does not reciprocate so I gotta just let him be. If someone wants you in your life I think they will make that known.

I would almost say keep it going for one more week because he's still defensive and you're still chipping away at the China Wall of hurt. But you know, everyone has their own level of tolerance. I react the same way when I get cold vibes from someone.. just give up. It's definitely hard for me to continue attempts and be met with the cold shoulder.

Anyway, he's immature. You don't need him anyway. Find a more mature Cap or just move on to another zodiac sign lol
click to expand
details
it's not quoting right... but anyway....

I would almost say keep it going for one more week because he's still defensive and you're still chipping away at the China Wall of hurt. But you know, everyone has their own level of tolerance. I react the same way when I get cold vibes from someone.. just give up. It's definitely hard for me to continue attempts and be met with the cold shoulder.

Anyway, he's immature. You don't need him anyway. Find a more mature Cap or just move on to another zodiac sign lol
details
Posted by ashley1734
Posted by bnr7013
I'm not a cap let me just say that first. I've dated a few caps & have several cap friends - I'm a sag so they are still pretty confusing to me at times. Capipuffs are kinda my favorite though Winking

Your actions prove otherwise to him. If you missed him you would have done something to show that (in his eyes.) IMO it seems like he was reaching for a reaction when you two ended things. This happens when at least one of you can't be vulnerable...or won't be. I've had caps tell me they were seeking a reaction from me by the way.

Things ended >> you did nothing>> he did nothing >> he felt you didn't really care >> you "showed" you didn't really care >> he became bitter >> you miss him (or else you wouldn't be posting) >> he wishes you wouldn't have let things go so "easily"

One of y'all needs to put your mf'n guard down & a cap isn't known to be the first one at it. Good luck!

I like the way you explained this very simply.

It makes sense, BUT he is the one who ended things and suggested we just be friends. I made it very clear I had feelings for him beyond friends...I felt there wasn't much I could do beyond that since he said he didn't know that things would work between us and didn't want to waste his time (ouch, but I mean I had to respect it).

He comes off like a royal jerk, but I feel like there's some sensitivity in there somewhere. I never wronged him or anything, we've always been very honest with each other, so it's just been a bit unnerving to get this cold front.
click to expand

This does appear to be very odd behavior considering everything. Sometimes I feel that Caps want you to fight and scream about your feelings and Gems aren't that way. We won't fight you if you don't want to be involved. We will be honest, which I felt you've done. If he can't be honest in why he responded so cold then that's on him. Something must have happened, either someone talked dirt about you that isn't true and he believed it or he feels you were never really into him so why do you care or miss him all of a sudden. Instead of him understanding it was hard for you and needed to think about whether to be friends he might have taken that as he's not worth even being friends with after the fact. My 2 cents.
details
Posted by Elle77
Posted by ashley1734
Posted by bnr7013
I'm not a cap let me just say that first. I've dated a few caps & have several cap friends - I'm a sag so they are still pretty confusing to me at times. Capipuffs are kinda my favorite though Winking

Your actions prove otherwise to him. If you missed him you would have done something to show that (in his eyes.) IMO it seems like he was reaching for a reaction when you two ended things. This happens when at least one of you can't be vulnerable...or won't be. I've had caps tell me they were seeking a reaction from me by the way.

Things ended >> you did nothing>> he did nothing >> he felt you didn't really care >> you "showed" you didn't really care >> he became bitter >> you miss him (or else you wouldn't be posting) >> he wishes you wouldn't have let things go so "easily"

One of y'all needs to put your mf'n guard down & a cap isn't known to be the first one at it. Good luck!

I like the way you explained this very simply.

It makes sense, BUT he is the one who ended things and suggested we just be friends. I made it very clear I had feelings for him beyond friends...I felt there wasn't much I could do beyond that since he said he didn't know that things would work between us and didn't want to waste his time (ouch, but I mean I had to respect it).

He comes off like a royal jerk, but I feel like there's some sensitivity in there somewhere. I never wronged him or anything, we've always been very honest with each other, so it's just been a bit unnerving to get this cold front.

This does appear to be very odd behavior considering everything. Sometimes I feel that Caps want you to fight and scream about your feelings and Gems aren't that way. We won't fight you if you don't want to be involved. We will be honest, which I felt you've done. If he can't be honest in why he responded so cold then that's on him. Something must have happened, either someone talked dirt about you that isn't true and he believed it or he feels you were never really into him so why do you care or miss him all of a sudden. Instead of him understanding it was hard for you and needed to think about whether to be friends he might have taken that as he's not worth even being friends with after the fact. My 2 cents.
click to expand


Yeah my friends all asked if maybe he saw me somewhere with someone else or heard something, but it really isn't possible. We don't have any mutual friends, I hadn't really been out anywhere he (or any of his friends) would have seen me during that period, we aren't friends on social media, nothing. It really does seem as if he had an expectation that I
details
Posted by Koiala
" Sometimes I feel that Caps want you to fight and scream about your feelings"

@Elle77, I think you're onto something there. I feel this from all 3 earth signs, btw. I think this is a dynamic that more fiery counterparts will naturally give them and that's an opposition they can understand. It allows them to play the stoic role they're comfortable with the most, but at the same time, in a way, the other person is also expressing those pent up feelings they're pretending not to be prey to themselves. That steam is let out of the relationship so to speak.

Air dominant people really just don't react that way, however. I mean, I'm air dominant (lots of Libra and Aqua) and probably the more emotional turmoil I feel and the less I'll show it. I'll instinctively 'lighten' a heavy situation such as saying a permanent goodbye by being pleasant or injecting some humor in there or something. Just my own way of dealing. But I've noticed Caps in particular can interpret this as 'Hah! She doesn't care one iota! She probably never cared!' I was completely taken aback once to have a Cap friend remark to me slightly bitterly in a parting situation that I seemed pretty happy about it all. From my POV I was just doing my best to not break down and going through the motions so as not to burden them, while they were probably thinking I'm an unfeeling hypocrite or something. Oh well. *illustrates point*

User Submitted Image

I really do think that during the last month he was kind of testing and doing a push/pull to see how much I really did like him and how loyal I would be or how much shit I would put up with haha, so when I "let him" go, he really was probably like "see you didn't like me that much afteralL!"

What a fool. I really did care for him a lot, and even after I realized maybe he just needed to melt him a little more, I left him a birthday card, and after I ran into him when a did (couple weeks ago now), I have been making myself vulnerable and just tried to express that I have genuinely missed him in my life.

Seriously out of my hands at this point.
details
Posted by Koiala
@Ashley1734 I don't know if it's the Virgo moon in addition to the air placements, but I can really relate to how you seem to react. I know it's natural to most people to engage in, like, games of seduction and that lots of people might even enjoy all of that. But if I do have an inkling that a tug of let'- say-love is taking place, well... I couldn't bear to feel like I pressured a guy somehow with the strength of my own feelings. I'll totally just let go like you say.

I'll be the first to believe you did care for him. Respecting his space was part of showing him how much you cared, but maybe because he has a different scale by which he measures what equals to caring, it translated differently to him. Leaving the birthday card etc, I get how exposed that might have made you feel but you know what, that's never something you'll regret, you'll always know you went the distance, as far as you could while staying true to yourself. You can't help how he interprets things, but still I hope he comes around to interpreting them right because you seemed to be good together and it's sad to think what's probably a miscommunication mash-up somewhere decides of the fate of your relationship.




Thank you Koiala! I hope he will come around too, if not just in the friendship sense. Would still like to be his friend. And you are so right...I don't regret being vulnerable or open and loving to him at all. The world needs soft people so I don't mind being one of them.
details
Posted by Aggrippina66789
Some people can't friends after break ups anyway ...i can't really.

I cant really either, there will be no hard feelings, and wish them all the luck in the world, but I cant have my past lingering around..
details
Posted by Aggrippina66789
Posted by ashley1734
Posted by Koiala
@Ashley1734 I don't know if it's the Virgo moon in addition to the air placements, but I can really relate to how you seem to react. I know it's natural to most people to engage in, like, games of seduction and that lots of people might even enjoy all of that. But if I do have an inkling that a tug of let'- say-love is taking place, well... I couldn't bear to feel like I pressured a guy somehow with the strength of my own feelings. I'll totally just let go like you say.

I'll be the first to believe you did care for him. Respecting his space was part of showing him how much you cared, but maybe because he has a different scale by which he measures what equals to caring, it translated differently to him. Leaving the birthday card etc, I get how exposed that might have made you feel but you know what, that's never something you'll regret, you'll always know you went the distance, as far as you could while staying true to yourself. You can't help how he interprets things, but still I hope he comes around to interpreting them right because you seemed to be good together and it's sad to think what's probably a miscommunication mash-up somewhere decides of the fate of your relationship.




Thank you Koiala! I hope he will come around too, if not just in the friendship sense. Would still like to be his friend. And you are so right...I don't regret being vulnerable or open and loving to him at all. The world needs soft people so I don't mind being one of them.

He does need to learn he can't have relationships of any kind all his own way though. There are two in it.
click to expand

I agree. But I think he needs to be loved probably more than most?

He had sort of an unusual thing happen to him when he was 17 or 18 and I think perhaps it made him cold.

details
Posted by Greentea
Posted by Aggrippina66789
Some people can't friends after break ups anyway ...i can't really.

I cant really either, there will be no hard feelings, and wish them all the luck in the world, but I cant have my past lingering around..
click to expand

I normally don't bother with trying to be friends with exes either, but we were never an official couple so I don't really consider us "exes"...

Plus the way he presented it was "I think we have a good chance of a very long and strong friendship" it seemed so genuine to me!
details
Posted by ashley1734
Posted by Greentea
Posted by Aggrippina66789
Some people can't friends after break ups anyway ...i can't really.

I cant really either, there will be no hard feelings, and wish them all the luck in the world, but I cant have my past lingering around..

I normally don't bother with trying to be friends with exes either, but we were never an official couple so I don't really consider us "exes"...

Plus the way he presented it was "I think we have a good chance of a very long and strong friendship" it seemed so genuine to me!
click to expand

Changed his mind perhaps, we do that quite a bit after much thought.
details
Posted by Aggrippina66789
Posted by ashley1734
Posted by Greentea
Posted by Aggrippina66789
Some people can't friends after break ups anyway ...i can't really.

I cant really either, there will be no hard feelings, and wish them all the luck in the world, but I cant have my past lingering around..

I normally don't bother with trying to be friends with exes either, but we were never an official couple so I don't really consider us "exes"...

Plus the way he presented it was "I think we have a good chance of a very long and strong friendship" it seemed so genuine to me!

It could beit was but it sounds like he was such a douche to you when you guys met again. He sounds not worth it. I wouldn't get over that if i were you...

My cappie was like that to me even after fights though...so i know how they can be...stubborn....it's more raw to their emotions ...

It's a weird way to act with someone you want to be friends with!
click to expand

You're right Sad

And I think your other post was right too....you gotta be ready to be loved and it doesn't seem he is, at least not by me.
details
Posted by Greentea
Posted by ashley1734
Posted by Greentea
Posted by Aggrippina66789
Some people can't friends after break ups anyway ...i can't really.

I cant really either, there will be no hard feelings, and wish them all the luck in the world, but I cant have my past lingering around..

I normally don't bother with trying to be friends with exes either, but we were never an official couple so I don't really consider us "exes"...

Plus the way he presented it was "I think we have a good chance of a very long and strong friendship" it seemed so genuine to me!

Changed his mind perhaps, we do that quite a bit after much thought.
click to expand

Really? Even without any contact or event that would have made a logical person change their mind?

I don't relate I guess. I change my mind only when the facts tell me it is not logical to remain in my current mindset/course of action.
details
Posted by ashley1734
Posted by Greentea
Posted by ashley1734
Posted by Greentea
Posted by Aggrippina66789
Some people can't friends after break ups anyway ...i can't really.

I cant really either, there will be no hard feelings, and wish them all the luck in the world, but I cant have my past lingering around..

I normally don't bother with trying to be friends with exes either, but we were never an official couple so I don't really consider us "exes"...

Plus the way he presented it was "I think we have a good chance of a very long and strong friendship" it seemed so genuine to me!

Changed his mind perhaps, we do that quite a bit after much thought.

Really? Even without any contact or event that would have made a logical person change their mind?

I don't relate I guess. I change my mind only when the facts tell me it is not logical to remain in my current mindset/course of action.
click to expand

Probably makes more sense to him, easier.
details
Posted by SensitiveBlues
What an ahole! Did you cuss him out?

No. I just wanted to know what happened that made him so cruel so I tried to be calm and chip away at him. No luck. The dumbest part of all of this is that I actually miss the a-hole
details
Posted by Koiala
Aggripina & Greentea are hitting the nail on the head.

I see things your way very easily and your actions make sense to me because I would react similarly, but I suspect they have the sounder perspective.

The majority of Caps IME remain very courteous/civilized even if for whatever reason they can't keep a person in their life, like Greentea was saying she does. It's one of my fav things about them that I know they genuinely wish people they've cared about well deep down even if a friendship or relationship fizzles out while some other signs will be totally sticking pins in your voodoo doll forever ever. If in a heated moment they crossed a line, they acknowledge it in some way and express they're sorry about it. They question themselves a good deal rather than just blindly throw all of the blame on the other party. A lot of those Caps I'm referring to had some harsh things happen to them in life. Rather than shut them up, it seems to make them more open and understanding. I'm talking about 80 year old Cappies that will take criticism and ponder whether it might be true and decide it is so they then change and make amends.

Of course like with every sign, that's not all of them. Maybe your Cap is immature now and will be a catch at 80, mind you. But you sound super nice and like you deserve to be treated way better and there are lots of Caps your age who are born gentlemen.






Yeah nothing you said sounded like my Cap at ALL. Perhaps yes, he is just immature. I am talking to a Virgo now who is a bit older so maybe he will be a bit more my speed. Still, I think about Cap multiple times a day and I wish I could just give him a big hug and tell him to stop being stubborn.

Onward and upward. Thanks for all the advice! Helps a lot to make sense of things.
details
Posted by Aggrippina66789
Posted by ashley1734
Posted by SensitiveBlues
What an ahole! Did you cuss him out?

No. I just wanted to know what happened that made him so cruel so I tried to be calm and chip away at him. No luck. The dumbest part of all of this is that I actually miss the a-hole

He was this way all the time ....you just didn't realize it.
click to expand

That's what all my girlfriends said too, haha.
details
^ I agree. I think he's a) immature b) insecure. He was offended that you wouldn't do the breakup on his terms i.e. be friends i.e. allow him to keep you on the side as an option. You did the right thing, so just know that. Don't be too baffled by his silly actions. They barely deserve recognition. Feel sorry for him. Caps are really good at hiding their dark side. They know it's hard to swallow. They even hide it from themselves. I have been on both sides with two Cap men. Both very loving, then alarmingly hateful. It isn't healthy regardless of sign. Nor is it acceptable behavior. I've read that Capricorn men take a long time to become truly ready and marry later in life. Who knows. You know your boundaries, so that's most important. He was rude, if you bump into him again you don't owe him a hello. Just know while you are moving forward, he is still stuck.
details
Posted by underwaterthing
^ I agree. I think he's a) immature b) insecure. He was offended that you wouldn't do the breakup on his terms i.e. be friends i.e. allow him to keep you on the side as an option. You did the right thing, so just know that. Don't be too baffled by his silly actions. They barely deserve recognition. Feel sorry for him. Caps are really good at hiding their dark side. They know it's hard to swallow. They even hide it from themselves. I have been on both sides with two Cap men. Both very loving, then alarmingly hateful. It isn't healthy regardless of sign. Nor is it acceptable behavior. I've read that Capricorn men take a long time to become truly ready and marry later in life. Who knows. You know your boundaries, so that's most important. He was rude, if you bump into him again you don't owe him a hello. Just know while you are moving forward, he is still stuck.

Insecure I saw that in him from the beginning, and I'm not the type to want to "fix" a man, but he was so intelligent and interesting to me, that I still just went for it.

Unfortunately I have a feeling we will run into each other many more times (even when I avoid his normal hangouts, he will show up at mine), and I really don't feel I should even acknowledge him. That's not stooping to his level, it's just giving him the exact amount of attention he deserves from me: none.

Poor Cap. Sad
details
Thanks again for all your input!!
details
First
Previous
Next
Last

Leave Your Feedback

We'd love to hear your thoughts! If you're not logged in, you can still share your feedback below. Your input helps us improve the experience for everyone. To post your own content or join the conversation, please log in or create an account.

Home Astrology Comments Forums Search

©1997-2025 dxpnet.com. All Rights Reserved.
Advertising Contact Terms of Use Privacy Policy