Darn it all my Cap male has a twinkle in his eyes

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by ladyvie on Monday, October 16, 2006 and has 30 replies.
OK so I pretended for months to be over this Capricorn guy. I was so strange and pushed him away. Our relationship ending was completely my own fault at the time. (I had to choose between work and emotions running deeper, so as an aquarius with capricorn ascendant, I chose work.) We both said things to each other which just were not polite at the end of the day month ago. But we slowly built up this friendly banter again and I wanted to be over him. I dated other men. But today when we had to spend 5 minutes together on a project he was looking at me with those big eyes and I melt.
He'll never call me as I totally screwed up the relationship and acted like a complete headcase. But I guess I have my one that I regret. But darn it all, I would give up everything I could if it meant that he would be happy. And that twinkle when he looks at me and smiles... now that would be a smile I would love to see everyday. (In my defense of being a 'crazy' girl then I was studying for the hardest most painstaking two day torturous bar exam, and I did end up passing the test. But when I need to think and analyze to the 9th degree, I lost my emotional well being... never ever a good state to be in.)
Sigh... so I have a great respect for Capricorn men.
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Darn it all I can't even spell when I talk about this guy... anyone who read this, thanks for that minute of your time, I guess sometimes so I don't act crazy I need to confess that this guy can turn me into someone I'm so not with just a twinkle in his eye when he looks at me... I suppose it's safe to say that he was good in bed (so while I pretend the relationship didn't mean anything to me these past few months, I know exactly what I'm missing now. In all honesty he's the only REAL lover that I ever had in my life and that probably adds to my agony.)
If anyone knows a way to sever the emotional regrets, please let me know. I love being me most of the time! Or else I could use a great spell to make him forgive and forget, that could work (and I kid of course... I hate manipulating people in any fashion.)
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Maybe the twinkle in his eye is a result of him drinking a ton of fluids? Winking
I don't know. I hear that making a conscious decision to ignore thoughts that intrude upon your psyche actually work.
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Ah, those damn Cap. men!! Most seem to be forgiving though... Mine was & I acted like a headcase about a half dozen times!! What's up, LWCA??
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I did apologize for acting like a crazy person. I even mentioned again today that I was 'emotionally unavailable and uncool' back in July. It was how we started talking again in the first place. He even helped me move actually in Sept and that was post break up when I was waiting for results. (3 bar exams?!? Eeek! I might take another one next July but I have a job which I love so if I fail somewhere else, it's not the same as facing the unknown or my lifelong dreams.)
Perhaps I'll do something out of the ordinary tonight after exercising and call him to say 'hey.' But after today's encounter I don't want to come on to strong either... darn it all I have dated other men since this guy and I broke up with him in July. I even dated men when we started our bantering again. I went out with one guy this past weekend. But I know who I want, and I just don't know how to act when my emotions are involved. It's like suddenly I'm the uncool nerdy girl in middle school again who doesn't know what to do and I missed out on the lesson of 'how to act when you emotionally desire to be with someone that other women have in abundance' but I excelled at 'how to have meaningless unattached conversations with the hottest and most powerful of men and not let it get to you.' I could teach the course on uninvolved meaningless flirtation aka finding a topic to converse on with anyone and listening.
If Mr. Capricorn hadn't looked at me today, I'd be ok with the world. Darn these Capricorn men having that special something that makes me ache with emotions... I don't like it at all. (And whoever said that Aquarius' don't get jealous doesn't know anything... he talked to two of my female friends in the past week with me standing there, and I get huge emotional aches that he's not with me right now. Then I remember that these women are cool and I shouldn't be jealous because he has a right to do whatever he wants, not that he knows any of this debate in my head of course.) Being a sweetheart who loves helping others is my personality, not whining about the past.
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Wow~ no wonder you like the Cap. man... you are rising, merc. and mars in Cap.!
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Capgirl, all is well with me. Must be that time of year where the Caps are draining all of us (re: WTML's post on Taurus board). Mine is still an enigma and isn't saying much to me, but leaves me msgs to let me know he's alive and well. I loved your earlier posts about recognizing what faults you've had in your relationship and figured that the best way to handle a Cap is to reassure them every once in awhile but learn to let the bad stuff go.
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I posted that, LWCA?? Hmmm... Well, you read my latest thread though? He apparently is living w/ this girl. So, he's lost to me. : (
I am actually talking to a Leo! I am liking the chemistry so far!
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No he's not dating anyone unless he keeps her completely hidden from sight. He claims to be a homebody, etc, but the boy is out every night with his friends, drinking, watching sports, etc. He's too much of a partier for my tastes. He's never worked a day in his life, whereas I have worked since I was 9 years old delivering newspapers and babysitting to earn money. He completely embodies alot of character traits which I cannot stand and don't want. However he has a heart, loves his family deeply, and he is making the right decisions in his career. He lets people use him for his money and I wonder if he knows the difference between people who are using him versus people who want only the best for him... users versus friends.
Come to think of it I guess I am dangerous to a guy's 'freedom' because I've been told that I'm 'the type of girl a guy brings home to meet mom.' (Scorpio men are the best at telling me the truth though I would never EVER want to be involved with a scorpio, way to critical and suspicious of my aquarius' motivation and cheery nature.) To a party boy I might seem like a death sentence though I promise that I'm adventurous and quirky (nice way of saying unique). I should have kept things light and carefree between Mr Cap and myself because then I would NEVER feel the regrets and longings that I do now, but then I do sometimes love having nice dreams. But he's the one who kissed me when I was simply checking my email in May, and he kissed me the night we met a year ago though I stopped him and said that 'I don't kiss strangers.' Then when I was an emotional basketcase and closed off he disappeared on me which is my own fault entirely.
Today I am better about the whole situation though I haven't made any decisions. I'm going to enjoy the day if I can.
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Yes, LV, enjoy the day and think positive thoughts!! Winking
To me, it sounds like your situation is far less tragic than you're assuming... If you want another chance w/ him, only fear is stopping you.
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Funny you should say that. Self doubt and I are know each other well in matters of the heart though people think I'm fearless of the consequences in other areas of my life. If I approach this with my usual flair in life, then perhaps I'll be lucky again. If not my heart can stop this infernal wishing with a good kick out the door. I just need a simple plan to be in a situation where I can be softly speak what's in my heart, and the guts to follow through with the plan. I've given that advice to many friends who are happy now, so I suppose I should take my own advice.
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You know what... thanks for listening to me yesterday. I needed to figure out what I wanted to do and the family/friends situation isn't the best for me to be asking advice at the moment as they depend on me for advice.
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Just don't do it in a letter... Get some liquid courage if you have to but don't hide behind written communication. That was my error...
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No liquor is going to help and I might say something I regret under the influence of anything. Even if my heart is completely stepped on and ripped out, I need to be sweet inviting and honest with him. Besides if I hope for the best (and that's another kiss) then I have to bite the bullet in person, face to face. (I also expect neither will actually happen in the worst or dream scenerio.)
I do miss the days when Mom would force me to talk to friends who I swore off completely the day before on the playground for whatever reason and mom made me apologize and play again. I didn't need to fight off nerves then.
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CapGirl, you might actually love dating a Leo. They give you a ton of affection and are rather easy to understand. You actually can do the 'flip the script' move and they will come back (unlike their Cap bros). Seriously, after having dealt with a Cap man, you're going to find this Leo one to be a walk in the park.
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Leo men... I still have one who doesn't take no for an answer though he's getting the message more and more these days. I was pretty firm all along with the no. I know what I did with him that was completely unintentional on my part but when we agreed on our thought process conversations, I would say stuff like 'we have this connection going on here, right on' which he took as 'we're soulmates.' From what I know about leos, just a few compliments really worked. Now I know that Mr. Capricorn is very different and he would take my words at face value and I respect that more.
So my advice with any leo is simply be appreciative and honest with him. For some inane reason they like that ego compliments stuff.
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Oooo, I'm already doing that... have told him "you are cute" a couple times. He's very communicative so far- we've been emailing on and off throughout the work day. He's got some foot fetish that I'm a bit curious about... LOL I'm not finding him all that domineering as of yet though, like I thought a Leo would be. To the contrary really. Anything is a nice breath of fresh air compared to the Cap. man freeze-out!!!
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As long as you are having fun with a nice breath of fresh air then it's all good. Let him come up with the idea that you are a prize worth having! The leo I knew was quite determined to win me to the point where I agreed to meet him for dinner to discuss work and he brought me to a play. It was the nicest moment really to be appreciated like that, but it was really wrong to let him get his hopes up (I had no idea how serious he was taking stuff until he pulled that.) It was that moment really when I knew that I had to tell him that we were never going to be more than friends. If you are the prize to be won, at least the leo I know knew how to show off his splendor. (I just didn't appreciate it because my heart was still turning for Mr. Capricorn.) If you make yourself available to a leo where you offer yourself, I've noticed that the leo who I'm friends with doesn't go for that girl. He's even made comments like 'she's kind of pathetic and I don't know what to say to her' when I encouraged him to find another girl. He's looking to win the right girl and I know if he puts the effort in on a girl who will appreciate who he is then he's going to be happy. Leos kind of like showing off in the spotlight more than other men at least from my own interactions and I could see the hunter syndrome in the lion.
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quick quick update from me... Mr. Capricorn is coming over to talk to me in person to my place later tonight... even if we take a small step forward, I'll be thrilled. Thanks for listening to me!!!
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Yippee!!!!! This was quick action! Winking
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Perhaps it was my aquarian need to be independant and uninvolved that stood in the way all this time. I'm getting nervous excited to just talk to him soon!!!
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You two are my absolute favorite people for listening to me the other day when I was struggling with what I wanted. I know that I have a flair for being overdramatic at times and completely uninvolved in others (which infuriated my poor parents for a long time.) Hope everyone here is having a great morning!
As for last night we definately had a great talk. He said that I'm too good for him (silly boy) but that no other woman gets closer to his heart. (Awww) He was very very sweet and he now knows that I could possibly fall in love with him as I can't date other men without comparing them to him.
Guess I should send my mother flowers for teaching me that sometimes you have to be open and honest. I'll never be as sweet as my mom but I really do love her this morning and every day for being a good example. Even if things don't work out for myself and Mr. Capricorn I can always try to be like my mom in matters of the heart because she's the best.
(A girl doesn't kiss and tell after all.)
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That is so fabulous! It seems like these guys are stepping out of the shadows lately. I've heard a couple other updates of talks finally happening. Winking
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Oh man its like looking iin a mirror ladyvie.
I too learned how to have meaningless but great conversation with hott guys and producing no feelings...but I usually dont want what everyone else wants so thats fine by me...unless they want me back...
But I have gotten a little better about expressing feelings about the guys I do like...im still a little illusive, so Ive been told.
BTW...thats why aquas dont get jealous...the feeling never lasts long enough to even be called jealousy...
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I loved reading this whole thread!!!!
I can relate to you so much ldyvie. I'm excited for you. Please enjoy the fun of dating someone you really like. I hope good things for you, work at work, and play at your play.
Honesty is the best policy!!!
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OK one thing apparantly I was too happy at work today and a little too diligent because they told me "You are too happy today, take the rest of the day off and go shopping or something." So I am going food shopping...
But yeah people should always be honest... I don't know why people aren't because karma typically handles the negative stuff. But a high happy time can be followed with a huge kick in the pants but that's life y'know. And the best moments are somewhere in the middle of everything. Either way today has been a very good simple day and I'm grateful for that.
Take care all
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I agree that most Capricornians have very expressive eyes, especially the males. As far as I know, Cappies can forgive but will never forget. When they know they can trust you, they`ll do so to the fullest extent. However, once you screw them up, they can be the most mistrustful creatures on the planet. It might take some time to get that guy`s trust back. Just remember not to rely on words too much. Get him back by showing you`ve regret it. Show your down-to-earth side, and you`ll see what a Cap man really is. Good luck!
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Thanks! But to tell you the truth this thread kind of makes me laugh at myself now. I was trying to think about what to do when I wrote this up. But things are good now between us, because I was honest. Is everything perfect, no but I don't know perfection and wouldn't trust it anyhow. I'm contented and he's contented, though I have this sneaky suspicion that he's thinking more long term when I'm saying take it day by day. I don't want to screw up and turn into 'crazy uncool' girl that I was under stress. So for me the best way to not screw up is to take everyday as they come. He knows that I was under crazy stress and he'll feel that soon enough.
The thing is we're very opposite in alot of ways, but that's part of what I always liked about him. For instance over the weekend we went to this happy hour where we met up there since our schedules were crazy. I get their first and find people to talk to. He shows up, sits down, orders a beer as I'm hussling to get people to play pool. You wouldn't even have known that there was anything going on between us except for brief conversations at the beginning of the evening, that is until he whispered to me that if I would leave my groupies we could be alone. So I simply say 'goodbye' in under 30 seconds to the group and left with him. I'm pretty sure he liked that. But it shows our differences in personalities as I'm very playful and silly and like joking rather than serious conversations. Being 'down to earth' is something I crave to be but it's so hard for me. But two weeks ago I was and he forgave me. I took it as a good sign that when I called to apologize he came right over and that reinforced my honesty.
The day I planned on calling him, my sister earlier that day told me that I had the 'you sound like you are going to break up with someone, what's wrong?' She had no idea that I was simply conserving my emotional energy to be honest and tell I guy that I still liked him or something. She would have told me 'don't be stupid' but she's a Scorpio and never had an issue saying how she felt. I say what I think easier than feel. So being real as you say is just the hardest thing for me and if astrology is to be believed I am 30% air, 30% earth, 30% fire and only 10% water (the emotional strength).
Either way things are pretty good between this aquarius hippy like eternal child water bearer and the ever serious extremist who needs balance but wanna be silly Capricorn. I like him.
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LV,
You stated "It's like suddenly I'm the uncool nerdy girl in middle school again who doesn't know what to do and I missed out on the lesson of 'how to act when you emotionally desire to be with someone that other women have in abundance' but I excelled at 'how to have meaningless unattached conversations with the hottest and most powerful of men and not let it get to you."
This is exactly how I feel and act. I was never this way until I b/c more of a homebody and focused on my child/career. Now I feel as though I'm this really boring person with no conversation to offer to the Cap I'm crazy about b/c every time we are together or on the phone I freeze up and kinda stutter my way through the conversation. I'm quite intelligent and know this is really not me but "WTH" do you do about it? Winking He always comments about me being "having so much to say via e-mail" and he is right. I have so many things I want to know/talk about but for some reason I feel somewhat standoffish w/him i.e., I just feel like if I ask him about his personal life (other than what he offers) he will find me nosey, etc. What's a girl to do?
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This is going to sound bad, but months ago he invited me to watch a movie. But he wouldn't let me see his computer so I joked "You hiding the porn from me?" which he laughed at, like he was the little boy caught. Then when I started craning my neck for a peek at the titles, he was like 'you're nosey' which I stated 'no, just curious and before you say it yes curiousity killed the cat.' So I told him about my nature in a joke, but I have to kind of remind him every so often that it's just my nature and I'm not judgmental.
The one thing that dating a Cap has taught me is say the most I want to say in words, not in emails or texts. If I hide who I am with him, he calls me on it. And it sounds like your guy is encouraging you to say what you want to say to him in person when we're most vulnerable and truthful.
And as for personal life info, like I said we were friends first for a long while, so I could push for information like I would with a friend. Like for instance when I was filling out my bar package last year and I was in a group of people asking 'what do they want to know' I was like everything on your record down to date and county you received your speeding tickets (which I have). It was like pulling teeth getting him to fess up to '3rd degree misdemeanor' and what that meant... until I finally managed to pry that when he was 19 he was ticketed with a DUI. But since we were only friends then I could pry without worrying of 'will he not like me' girlfriend stuff. I remember quite clearly once he finally said what his crime was he watched my reaction like a hawk, his stare. I guess it was his 'testing me' then but i didn't know. So I joked and said something 'darn that's it, 3rd degree misdemeanor was more mysterious.'
So I'm longwindedly saying that you can't hide your nature so might as well let him know who you really are without hiding. Mine seems to dig me when I'm honest and true to my nature.
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