Dating a cappy male

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by TREADLIGHTLY on Thursday, April 21, 2016 and has 26 replies.
Hey lovely capricorns!! I'm just coming to bother you all for a little advise on a Capricorn male. He's he first I've dated he has aqua Venus and Leo moon if this helps. I'll try to keep this short as possible here goes..... We've been dating around 5 months. However the last month or so a lot of his words have become cold or what I consider rude quite frankly. He is very scared of loving again and being in a relationship due to a previous relationship going very sour. He's a single father of a beautiful 5 year old daughter who I've bonded with and she with me. He doesn't take her around women at all and the fact that she and I bonded so quick has I think some what scared him. Anyway to the topic at hand I am now ready for a relationship he doesn't express his feelings much but he has said he would love to try with me one day and that I make him very happy that he likes me a lot and that he's willing to do what it takes to not lose me and I bring out a different and better side of him. After one last argument I advised him it was best to just part ways. He asked if I wanted to try with him and wants to talk face to face. However he didn't mention a relationship. I'm just wondering if this is typical does it sound like there may be hope or should I just not have the convo and quit wasting time.
Venus in Aquarius Man

This man is least interested in dictating how a woman should be. He does not make a shopping list. However, he is attracted to the one who appears most different than those in the crowd. His dream lover is individualistic; a critical thinker little detached and has interest in all sorts of topics to keep him engaged. Romantically, she must be kinky, but should not go overboard with it. As mentioned above, seeing or experiencing same romantic things again and again is boring to Venus in Aquarius. The man, especially, tends to struggle with it a lot more than the woman.

Traditionally, he is labeled as unromantic or detached. Women expecting him to always show up at the door with flowers will always find themselves disappointed. Honestly speaking, he is not the mushy type. Do not still think he is a bad guy. Once in a while he does not mind showing his romantic side, but it will be wrong to expect him to be always like this. There are basically two things missing in him and they are intuition and casual feelings. This is one reason why he is not always responsive to the feelings of his partner. Just try telling him that you are sad or ill. His reply probably to it will be “oh okay†and then he will carry on with his own topics.

The urge to stay awakened is a feature that his heart has. This works in two different ways. When the man gets attracted to a detached woman his heart suddenly gets awakened to win her heart. In this situation, he turns into a lover boy, willing to do anything to woo her. If she succeeds in staying detached even in the relationship, he will take a long time to shed his romantic self.

What happens when the relationship turns tedious? We all know by now that this gets him to hibernate. Only when the disappointed lover breaks off, his heart comes out of this mode. it can actually take a long time for a Venus in Aquarius man to get out of the lake of love sorrow.

This guy often is tagged as cheater and commitment phobic. Point to note is that there is an exception in this. If he is brought up in a traditional family environment, he will neither be a cheater nor commitment phobic. In a situation like this, he will be clueless about how to approach a woman. Because of this, he may go years without any relationship. The family environment works to keep his confidence level lower. So once he finally gets a lady to settle down with, he will not stray.

But ever heard of the line “absolute power corrupts� This is quite in tune with a Venus in Aquarius man who has full freedom in his life. If he fails to find his dream lover, he will not hesitate to jump from one woman to another. In marriage, it is less likely for him to cheat. Once again, it has more to do with his fixed sign.

Leo Moon Man

To many, he can come off as a bit selfish. People complain that when he is in trouble he always dials their numbers in order to get their emotional support. Other times, he needs help. But when they are in trouble he becomes unreachable, slow to respond and even unhelpful. The truth is that this man with Leo moon does not perform well with others’ serious issues. Such things can actually give him intense boredom and because of this, he wants to get away from them. His energy blooms best in a positive environment.

In love and relationships, this man with Leo moon can either be way too indifferent or affectionate. The result actually depends on the type of partner he is with. If she is too serious, in need of emotional support and always complains he will try to avoid her at times or simply insult her. This is his way of letting her know that he is having a hard time putting up with her serious nature. Why doesn’t this man just break up with her? Sadly, he cannot do it. The reason is that the sign of Leo governing his mind is fixed in the sky. Thus, it forces him to stay glued to his relationship. This should indirectly tell us that a man with moon in Leo is strongly faithful. Apparently, the fixed Leo issue does not let him move on after a breakup either. Because of this, some of his ex girlfriends might title him as a stalker!

Now as stated before, this man can also be affectionate. This side of him will only be brought out by a girl who solves her problems all by herself and has a positive attitude towards life. Overall, she must love him without any greater expectations. Does this mean she should not even think about marriage? This is not the greater expectations means here. If she wants marriage from him she must talk to him about it in a humorous way. Bottom line is that he should not be forced for it.

You are dealing with a guy that has placements that are bit selfish and self involved but also carries the kind of qualities we women are attracted to which can be perplexing, which explains why you broke it off. You're going to need to be patient with this guy, very patient, extremely patient or leave him alone romantically.

I'm sure those 2 astrological placements cause this guy a lot of confusion as in wanting to settle down, when to settle down versus staying single, those placements cause him inner conflict because on the one hand he truly desires to be with someone but on the other hand just not right now. He's attempting to reconcile 2 different sides of himself which are in conflict with another which causes struggle. It's not you. I'm sure you're a wonderful woman. It's him. Have that face to face, can't hurt.

Thanks tiki I've dated a Venus in Aqua before he also had sun in Aqua for some strange reason it was the longest relationship I've had. I see some similarities in the two however not too many
Tiki that is very true!! He is very confusing. He loves to spend time with me and do everything from lounging to days at the park to shopping together I'm guessing that's his Leo moon. But I can see the Aqua or cap as well because he keeps his feelings bottled up until I lash out and me being a Taurus I don't really care to lash out. However I always say his actions don't match his words. His words are I enjoy being single however his actions are spending every second of free time we have together doing couple like things. It's honestly turned into a relationship without the title however the Taurus in me needs security I can't help it
"Taurus in me needs security I can't help it"

If you decide to see him face to face then tell him that.

Don't be dramatic or drag it on. Keep it simple and the situation will either flourish and connect or disconnect and wither off into nothing.

It's nothing wrong with letting a man know what you need from him, he'll either provide security or he won't, either way, least you didn't short yourself and settle into an imaginary relationship with him just to keep him around.
Posted by tiki33
"Taurus in me needs security I can't help it"

If you decide to see him face to face then tell him that.

Don't be dramatic or drag it on. Keep it simple and the situation will either flourish and connect or disconnect and wither off into nothing.

It's nothing wrong with letting a man know what you need from him, he'll either provide security or he won't, either way, least you didn't short yourself and settle into an imaginary relationship with him just to keep him around.


I agreed to meet with him... He wasn't letting me off the phone without saying it. We are suppose to meet tomorrow and conveniently for the first time ever I haven't heard from him at all today. I texted to make sure he was ok and once he confirmed I left him alone. I just think it's perfect timing but tiki I would never settle for pretend the bull in me is too strong lol
Posted by angel43
Hmmmm, I really like what Tiki has to say about Caps. I know them pretty well, but I don't know their moons etc. The first Cap I dated was older than me, and he was confusing at times. He never talked about a relationship, but when I said something about it, he said that he thought we were already in one lol. He was still sad about his past, and i had three younger kids, so it didn't work out. He really liked me, he even had tears in his eyes because I made the decision to break it off. We remained friends, and I see him from time to time.
I met another capricorn through a friend, apparently he had been stalking me lol. HE was too shy to call at first, but he did. Long story short, we both fell head over heels for each other. He had one child, and a bad break up with his ex, but he was very open with his feelings, mainly through a text though lol. HE told me he loved me after a couple of months. I didn't really text him or call him first, he always did. I guess I remained detached at times, and he was always wondering if I was interested etc. I was, but I just don't usually do the calling in the beginning. I am a Libra by the way ..
If he asked to talk to you face to to face, then go for it. Show that you care, but give him some space and let him come to you. If he is intersted he will. IF not, their is someone better out there for you :-)



Yes ma'am he does all the contacting. He calls and text from the time he's up until he lays down. That's why I felt it so weird the day before the talk he requested he doesn't reach out so I did. However until he's ready to have this talk I think I may just cut communication all together. I don't care for mind games but I also like to give people the benefit of doubt that Mayb he's thinking over how this talk may go. I think he knows I'm pretty much at the relationship or walk stage. 5 months is plenty of time
Posted by Chance_11
One of the most insightful and accurate things I've see on VinAquaM


Chance are you Venus in Aqua?
Posted by Chance_11
Posted by TREADLIGHTLY
Posted by Chance_11
One of the most insightful and accurate things I've see on VinAquaM


Chance are you Venus in Aqua?

Yes, as a matter of fact I am. Cap sun too. I have the cooler fire moon though Winking
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Oh my I bet your just a charm lol
Posted by TREADLIGHTLY
Hey lovely capricorns!! I'm just coming to bother you all for a little advise on a Capricorn male. He's he first I've dated he has aqua Venus and Leo moon if this helps. I'll try to keep this short as possible here goes..... We've been dating around 5 months. However the last month or so a lot of his words have become cold or what I consider rude quite frankly. He is very scared of loving again and being in a relationship due to a previous relationship going very sour. He's a single father of a beautiful 5 year old daughter who I've bonded with and she with me. He doesn't take her around women at all and the fact that she and I bonded so quick has I think some what scared him. Anyway to the topic at hand I am now ready for a relationship he doesn't express his feelings much but he has said he would love to try with me one day and that I make him very happy that he likes me a lot and that he's willing to do what it takes to not lose me and I bring out a different and better side of him. After one last argument I advised him it was best to just part ways. He asked if I wanted to try with him and wants to talk face to face. However he didn't mention a relationship. I'm just wondering if this is typical does it sound like there may be hope or should I just not have the convo and quit wasting time.

I think there is hope because he wants to make the effort to meet you and talk face to face. If a relationship what you want, maybe give him a time line - ie. 6 months to work his stuff out.

You can push for a relationship now but try to understand what is holding him back. If he wants it to work, he will tell you what's going on.
I find capricorns to be kinda like Taurus. At first they can be quite skeptical, they like to take their time usually. I feel like most caps won't just charm you for the sake of it. They are very serious but when they commit you'll see a whole other side of them. Kinda like Taurus. Once you're in, you're in.

In my opinion. I think he likes you more than you know. When I find someone I like I go slow. I won't even tell them until I'm at that point where I have to make a decision to progress things. If I had my way I'd take things very slow. No point in rushing plus you wanna make sure you're good for each other. Good luck smile
Posted by PancakeFace
I find capricorns to be kinda like Taurus. At first they can be quite skeptical, they like to take their time usually. I feel like most caps won't just charm you for the sake of it. They are very serious but when they commit you'll see a whole other side of them. Kinda like Taurus. Once you're in, you're in.

In my opinion. I think he likes you more than you know. When I find someone I like I go slow. I won't even tell them until I'm at that point where I have to make a decision to progress things. If I had my way I'd take things very slow. No point in rushing plus you wanna make sure you're good for each other. Good luck smile



That is very true! What makes you finally come to the point to where you have to decide?
Just a update for everyone the talk never happened. He met me at a ball park the day we were supposed to talk saying his daughter wanted to see me. I casually mentioned the talk and he said we would have it later that day. Well later that day came and it still didn't happen. I advised him we weren't headed in the same direction. He informed me that he could see me being his wife so I advised I had feelings for him and was ready for a relationship. He advised he wasn't ready and thought things were fine the way they were. I told him it would be the last time we seen each other. He continued to try to find reasons to text even lashed out at me a few times.
Posted by TREADLIGHTLY
Just a update for everyone the talk never happened. He met me at a ball park the day we were supposed to talk saying his daughter wanted to see me. I casually mentioned the talk and he said we would have it later that day. Well later that day came and it still didn't happen. I advised him we weren't headed in the same direction. He informed me that he could see me being his wife so I advised I had feelings for him and was ready for a relationship. He advised he wasn't ready and thought things were fine the way they were. I told him it would be the last time we seen each other. He continued to try to find reasons to text even lashed out at me a few times.

What's the latest? Is he still texting? Is he doing the "whoa is me" thing? What is he saying whenever he lashes out?

I'm asking because I'm about to call it quits with my Cap Sun/Scorpio Moon/Aquarius Venus/Sag Mercury/Aries Mars too.
Posted by Vixen2
Posted by TREADLIGHTLY
Just a update for everyone the talk never happened. He met me at a ball park the day we were supposed to talk saying his daughter wanted to see me. I casually mentioned the talk and he said we would have it later that day. Well later that day came and it still didn't happen. I advised him we weren't headed in the same direction. He informed me that he could see me being his wife so I advised I had feelings for him and was ready for a relationship. He advised he wasn't ready and thought things were fine the way they were. I told him it would be the last time we seen each other. He continued to try to find reasons to text even lashed out at me a few times.

That just sucks. But I can see where not everyone is willing to wait a lifetime to have their feelings reciprocated. I mean...we really don't have as much time as we all like to think- however...that's just the way your Cap is, slow and steady. You guys just needed some middle ground.
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What I am experiencing with mine is that 90% of the time, there is no middle ground. Everything seems to be in his time and on his terms. I just don't see how he doesn't see that as unfair. It's like he's too self-centered, self-serving and fixed to be considerate and mindful of the feelings and effect that he has on others.
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Posted by Vixen2
Posted by TREADLIGHTLY
Just a update for everyone the talk never happened. He met me at a ball park the day we were supposed to talk saying his daughter wanted to see me. I casually mentioned the talk and he said we would have it later that day. Well later that day came and it still didn't happen. I advised him we weren't headed in the same direction. He informed me that he could see me being his wife so I advised I had feelings for him and was ready for a relationship. He advised he wasn't ready and thought things were fine the way they were. I told him it would be the last time we seen each other. He continued to try to find reasons to text even lashed out at me a few times.

That just sucks. But I can see where not everyone is willing to wait a lifetime to have their feelings reciprocated. I mean...we really don't have as much time as we all like to think- however...that's just the way your Cap is, slow and steady. You guys just needed some middle ground.
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Vixen believe it or not we both found that middle ground so I guess we will just see what happens
Posted by WateryVirgo
Posted by Vixen2
Posted by TREADLIGHTLY
Just a update for everyone the talk never happened. He met me at a ball park the day we were supposed to talk saying his daughter wanted to see me. I casually mentioned the talk and he said we would have it later that day. Well later that day came and it still didn't happen. I advised him we weren't headed in the same direction. He informed me that he could see me being his wife so I advised I had feelings for him and was ready for a relationship. He advised he wasn't ready and thought things were fine the way they were. I told him it would be the last time we seen each other. He continued to try to find reasons to text even lashed out at me a few times.

That just sucks. But I can see where not everyone is willing to wait a lifetime to have their feelings reciprocated. I mean...we really don't have as much time as we all like to think- however...that's just the way your Cap is, slow and steady. You guys just needed some middle ground.

What I am experiencing with mine is that 90% of the time, there is no middle ground. Everything seems to be in his time and on his terms. I just don't see how he doesn't see that as unfair. It's like he's too self-centered, self-serving and fixed to be considerate and mindful of the feelings and effect that he has on others.
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Watery Virgo I feel your pain!!!! Yours has something mine doesn't a Scorpio moon which I would believe would make him a little less expressive and a little more calculating and controlling. They do want everything on their terms. And being a bull I'm use to being dominate but I have a Virgo moon. One of the things that I found that helped me a lot to kind of move him alone. I listened to what he said if you listen really closely he should kind of tell you what he needs. In the beginning when telling me where his past relationship went wrong I figured out what he needed and it was honestly somethings that I was already good at, a working woman, someone with goals and drive and someone he could have fun with. Also his child is most important in his life so the fact that I love kids was a plus and I bonded with the child which is what he loves the most.
Posted by Vixen2
Posted by TREADLIGHTLY
Posted by Vixen2
Posted by TREADLIGHTLY
Just a update for everyone the talk never happened. He met me at a ball park the day we were supposed to talk saying his daughter wanted to see me. I casually mentioned the talk and he said we would have it later that day. Well later that day came and it still didn't happen. I advised him we weren't headed in the same direction. He informed me that he could see me being his wife so I advised I had feelings for him and was ready for a relationship. He advised he wasn't ready and thought things were fine the way they were. I told him it would be the last time we seen each other. He continued to try to find reasons to text even lashed out at me a few times.

That just sucks. But I can see where not everyone is willing to wait a lifetime to have their feelings reciprocated. I mean...we really don't have as much time as we all like to think- however...that's just the way your Cap is, slow and steady. You guys just needed some middle ground.

Vixen believe it or not we both found that middle ground so I guess we will just see what happens

Really??? Well....do tell us! What is the middle ground magic? I'm happy for you!
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Honestly the thing that was holding him back was the arguing and I only started arguing because I wanted stability. Crazy I know. We are both kind of you make me mad I retreat instead of talk about it people. So he came up with lets talk about it when it happens that way there's no blow up later and we know not to do it again. I agreed to give him time to see that the arguments would stop and I know he knows I was serious about walking away and I think that Kind of scared him into reality so to speak. So we shall see if this helps him
Posted by Vixen2
"So he came up with lets talk about it when it happens that way there's no blow up later and we know not to do it again."

Good man. Communication...good, open, honest communication is a must. People like to deem people that are emotionally open as weak...but it takes great courage (far more courage then shutting down and retreating) to be naked, open, and bare your soul - insecurities included..in communicating your feelings to a partner...anything less to me- is weakness.

And if you can't do that...what's the point. Love friggin hurts. The potential of how wonderful it is keeps is all craving it like addicts...even after repeated failures with it, we still have hope for it.

Good luck and I'm rooting for you guys!


Very true and spoken like a true Pisces I must add!! My bff is a Pisces and I frustrate her as much as she me! She's like I don't understand how someone so Blunt shuts down when it comes to emotions and men. But I'm going to give the communicating a shot. He admitted since I'm back around he's been very happy
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We've known each other for over two years and have been consistently dating for about seven months. I'm the same; you have to show me...consistently. However, I'm walking away without any expectations or hopes that our relationship will be rekindled. I'm just tired, exhausted. It's not in me to put my needs on the back burner anymore.

Ahh we are right at 5 months. I know the point you are at I was there and I honestly didn't expect him to keep trying the way he did. I'm def hoping he opens his eyes. Does he do all of the contacting? Do you get to see each other often?
He does most of the contacting, because like the stereotypical Cap, his work duties, home duties and relationship "duties" are all compartmentalized onto one neat, organized shelf and he contacts me whenever he is settled and whenever he is most comfortable with doing so, which is consistently. However, along with other issues, he is very selfish and controlling when it comes to his time and efforts towards the relationship. I don't understand why things have to be so formal and compartmentalized, especially since we live close to each other and we have been 7 months into this.

I've already sent out a Dear John letter to him via email yesterday. He responded that he could sense that something was bothering me whenever we last spoke over the phone. He said that we would talk about it. That has been 24 hours ago.

It is what it is. I was very honest about things that I observed (objectively) and felt during the last few months. So, let the chips fall wherever they may,