Posted by RindarooMaybe my woes pour out with others' , but not visibly. Maybe I feel less shame in "feeling" Maybe thats just being empathic. I feel some sort of relief also though, strangely. Its nice to FEEL others. Maybe its transfer of energies that balances everything out.
What do you mean by "as you release so I do too" ? And how do you handle things when your partners world is crumbling apart?
Posted by MissLadyIceQueenMeh, I haven't found that to be the case. It's nearly impossible for us (or maybe me, with moon in 12th). And often when we do express needs, dependence, we are accused of being selfish. Unfortunately it's a burden we alone have to bear, because we can.
I know you probably don't want to hear this but here it goes anyways. It takes more than just being there. You will have to verbalize and express your needs, wants, and how you feel to form a real strong lasting bond with someone. I. I'm not trying to be mean, you just seem like you like frankness. If you continue to let others depend on you but you don't put any kind of dependency on them it will tears apart 98% of your relationships. Commination. It's important.
Posted by sultrykittyPosted by MissLadyIceQueenMeh, I haven't found that to be the case. It's nearly impossible for us (or maybe me, with moon in 12th). And often when we do express needs, dependence, we are accused of being selfish. Unfortunately it's a burden we alone have to bear, because we can.
I know you probably don't want to hear this but here it goes anyways. It takes more than just being there. You will have to verbalize and express your needs, wants, and how you feel to form a real strong lasting bond with someone. I. I'm not trying to be mean, you just seem like you like frankness. If you continue to let others depend on you but you don't put any kind of dependency on them it will tears apart 98% of your relationships. Commination. It's important.click to expand
Posted by MissLadyIceQueenThis much is true!Posted by sultrykittyPosted by MissLadyIceQueenMeh, I haven't found that to be the case. It's nearly impossible for us (or maybe me, with moon in 12th). And often when we do express needs, dependence, we are accused of being selfish. Unfortunately it's a burden we alone have to bear, because we can.
I know you probably don't want to hear this but here it goes anyways. It takes more than just being there. You will have to verbalize and express your needs, wants, and how you feel to form a real strong lasting bond with someone. I. I'm not trying to be mean, you just seem like you like frankness. If you continue to let others depend on you but you don't put any kind of dependency on them it will tears apart 98% of your relationships. Commination. It's important.
That's why it's important to find a secure partner that can handle that side of you. I know it's hard but with the right partner over time it gets easier .click to expand
Posted by RindarooI am a very affectionate person yes. Acts of service, physically, recognition. If I have troubles I may not come out and say it, those who know me well will know generally from how I am behaving or what I am NOT saying. When prompted, I will come out with it...otherwise I will try to sort through my things by myself if I believe it can be done like this.Posted by LibraLovesHimIf you don't vocalize, how is one to know when you're having trouble? When there is a problem. Are you still there and stoic and a rock at these times or do you become cold and distant like Cap suns?Posted by RindarooMaybe my woes pour out with others' , but not visibly. Maybe I feel less shame in "feeling" Maybe thats just being empathic. I feel some sort of relief also though, strangely. Its nice to FEEL others. Maybe its transfer of energies that balances everything out.
What do you mean by "as you release so I do too" ? And how do you handle things when your partners world is crumbling apart?
In times of need I feel I can be my true self. Of service, needed, dependable, consistent, enduring. Although I try not to speak, I cannot vocally express that everything will be ok...oftentimes people dont want to hear this anyway. I believe in energy. I believe its possible to balance out negative energies another may be emitting by "offering" your own. Theres alot I cant explain or know but it just is-I dont even know that finding words would do much of it justice.
Are you affectionate? Or is your affection shown in the acts of service?click to expand
Posted by RindarooWhy do you believe him expressing emotions would have helped him? Was the lack of it a problem for you or for him do you think?
I asked so many questions because I was with a Cap moon for 20 years & I never really figured him out. Because yes he did not express, he was distant, showed his love through acts of service, & had a lot of trouble with emotion from me. He was a rock & was stoic though. But he had some issues & I tried to help him but it's really tough when the person won't express. It was emotionally very hard on me because I had to basically shut down my emotions to coexist until I just couldn't anymore.
Was interested to see how much of this could be related to his moon. Anyway more perspective I guess from a partners view
Posted by SweetestFataleThat's a little insensitive. You don't believe we are all very different and deserve to be loved as we are as longs as we are showing the correct morals and respect to the partnership? Maybe I am not very demanding...
I've got to find where my Cap Man's moon is. We recently came to an understanding that he just doesn't discuss his feelings. He will say "I love you.", he will say "I miss you." He will not explain himself or go into detail. I was absolutely unwilling to accept this. He pleaded for me to please love him as he is and let his displays of love, devotion and affection speak for themselves. I acquiescenced his request.
I have a Cap Moon and don't find it hard to express myself when I feel safe. I also have Venus in Aries...so...
Express as much as you can, pray thay we understand everything left unspoken.
And now I realize that Capricorn stare is really just a concentrated effort to send the words they cannot say through brainwaves. It doesn't work, but you know what they're doing lol.
Posted by MyStarsShineYes I miss him but the break is good. Should I feel bad to say that? I'm visiting my family, he has met his parents in Sicily (he saw them when he left US 9 months ago) he's been working like a dog since then. The relationship has been quite intense and a major change for me having been alone for so long so it is definitely a welcome breather. I am incredibly excited to meet him in Italy in a couple of weeks, and know by then i'll jump on him when I see him hehe
@LibraLovesHim
How are you getting on without your man? I bet he is missing you a lot
Posted by MaxPowerNo not a long distance relationship. I will give a response that may suffice in the moment but later when ive thought about it I may elaborate (or feel the need) I can't get deep or "in touch" on demand. Believe me its not something I can help, my reactions/responses aren't me CHOOSING (out of a need to protect myself per se) I often feel stuck for words in the moment. I'd rather save it for when i'm feeling it and it comes out naturally, unprompted.Posted by LibraLovesHimAre you in a long-distance relationship or something? I can't imagine telling my girlfriend, "hold on a minute, I have to go write this shit down."
I will say something, I find it MUCH easier to put things down in writing. If I am put on the spot anything can come out of my mouth, it may be because of my surroundings, my day, how ive been approached etc etc. To deal with it in my own time works wonders for me also.
I'll also say, I can't imagine being in a relationship with someone I was afraid to let myself speak in front of in an uncensored way. That sounds like torture. I have a Scorpio moon, so I get the desire to protect yourself, but you can't expect people to read your mind. Trust me; I tried it. Got the divorce to show how well it worked.click to expand
Posted by MaxPowerNo not a long distance relationship. I will give a response that may suffice in the moment but later when ive thought about it I may elaborate (or feel the need) I can't get deep or "in touch" on demand. Believe me its not something I can help, my reactions/responses aren't me CHOOSING (out of a need to protect myself per se) I often feel stuck for words in the moment. I'd rather save it for when i'm feeling it and it comes out naturally, unprompted.Posted by LibraLovesHimAre you in a long-distance relationship or something? I can't imagine telling my girlfriend, "hold on a minute, I have to go write this shit down."
I will say something, I find it MUCH easier to put things down in writing. If I am put on the spot anything can come out of my mouth, it may be because of my surroundings, my day, how ive been approached etc etc. To deal with it in my own time works wonders for me also.
I'll also say, I can't imagine being in a relationship with someone I was afraid to let myself speak in front of in an uncensored way. That sounds like torture. I have a Scorpio moon, so I get the desire to protect yourself, but you can't expect people to read your mind. Trust me; I tried it. Got the divorce to show how well it worked.click to expand
Posted by MaxPowerThat's great if you found a way to change or live up to a partners/relationships expectations though. I am definately doing my very best this time for the first time. I've never really made another/relationship a conscious priority as I am now-and its because I want to, not because its expected of mePosted by LibraLovesHimI get it. It's your natural response. All I'm saying is that rather than looking at that and thinking to yourself, this is me and so it will be, you might think to yourself, does this serve me? If it doesn't serve you, what steps can you take to become a bit more open? No one expects you to suddenly be a Leo or something.Posted by MaxPowerNo not a long distance relationship. I will give a response that may suffice in the moment but later when ive thought about it I may elaborate (or feel the need) I can't get deep or "in touch" on demand. Believe me its not something I can help, my reactions/responses aren't me CHOOSING (out of a need to protect myself per se) I often feel stuck for words in the moment. I'd rather save it for when i'm feeling it and it comes out naturally, unprompted.Posted by LibraLovesHimAre you in a long-distance relationship or something? I can't imagine telling my girlfriend, "hold on a minute, I have to go write this shit down."
I will say something, I find it MUCH easier to put things down in writing. If I am put on the spot anything can come out of my mouth, it may be because of my surroundings, my day, how ive been approached etc etc. To deal with it in my own time works wonders for me also.
I'll also say, I can't imagine being in a relationship with someone I was afraid to let myself speak in front of in an uncensored way. That sounds like torture. I have a Scorpio moon, so I get the desire to protect yourself, but you can't expect people to read your mind. Trust me; I tried it. Got the divorce to show how well it worked.
What I found is when I take too long to speak or to ask questions, the other person's mind would just keep going without me. By the time we finally got to talk, her defenses were up. Happened with Virgos, a Scorpio, and some other women whose signs I didn't know.click to expand
Posted by MaxPowerHey we live and learn! Life is all about continuous growth after all and i'm loving it. I'm going through a spurtPosted by LibraLovesHimI'm definitely not perfect. I was in the doghouse recently for keeping something to myself, but I'm doing better. I actually made a conscious decision to change before I met my girlfriend. My ex could be a real bitch, but she was right that not sharing with her, even when she kept asking, was a big part of why it didn't work. I have Aquarius rising too, and Cap Mars. :/ Anyway, I made a decision that I would just be as honest as I could be with the next one. Had a couple duds, then the Taurus. So far, she's just amazing. It helps a lot that she doesn't judge.Posted by MaxPowerThat's great if you found a way to change or live up to a partners/relationships expectations though. I am definately doing my very best this time for the first time. I've never really made another/relationship a conscious priority as I am now-and its because I want to, not because its expected of mePosted by LibraLovesHimI get it. It's your natural response. All I'm saying is that rather than looking at that and thinking to yourself, this is me and so it will be, you might think to yourself, does this serve me? If it doesn't serve you, what steps can you take to become a bit more open? No one expects you to suddenly be a Leo or something.Posted by MaxPowerNo not a long distance relationship. I will give a response that may suffice in the moment but later when ive thought about it I may elaborate (or feel the need) I can't get deep or "in touch" on demand. Believe me its not something I can help, my reactions/responses aren't me CHOOSING (out of a need to protect myself per se) I often feel stuck for words in the moment. I'd rather save it for when i'm feeling it and it comes out naturally, unprompted.Posted by LibraLovesHimAre you in a long-distance relationship or something? I can't imagine telling my girlfriend, "hold on a minute, I have to go write this shit down."
I will say something, I find it MUCH easier to put things down in writing. If I am put on the spot anything can come out of my mouth, it may be because of my surroundings, my day, how ive been approached etc etc. To deal with it in my own time works wonders for me also.
I'll also say, I can't imagine being in a relationship with someone I was afraid to let myself speak in front of in an uncensored way. That sounds like torture. I have a Scorpio moon, so I get the desire to protect yourself, but you can't expect people to read your mind. Trust me; I tried it. Got the divorce to show how well it worked.
What I found is when I take too long to speak or to ask questions, the other person's mind would just keep going without me. By the time we finally got to talk, her defenses were up. Happened with Virgos, a Scorpio, and some other women whose signs I didn't know.He appreciated me alot and tells me often and I him. That means everything to me. He just told me this evening "thank you for loving me and not just saying it but showing me you do"
And damn! What a sweet thing for him to say.click to expand
Posted by LibraLovesHimIt's probably more of a matter of being demanding. How can you know someone's feelings unless they express them? I don't feel like actions speak louder than words, I feel like words do a great job to explain actions and actions show what words cannot but they're both necessary. As I stated I have chosen to accept him exactly as he is and as he put it spend our lives getting to know one another. Im betting he wants to get to the point where no words are needed we just have an understanding and I'd love that too.Posted by SweetestFataleThat's a little insensitive. You don't believe we are all very different and deserve to be loved as we are as longs as we are showing the correct morals and respect to the partnership? Maybe I am not very demanding...
I've got to find where my Cap Man's moon is. We recently came to an understanding that he just doesn't discuss his feelings. He will say "I love you.", he will say "I miss you." He will not explain himself or go into detail. I was absolutely unwilling to accept this. He pleaded for me to please love him as he is and let his displays of love, devotion and affection speak for themselves. I acquiescenced his request.
I have a Cap Moon and don't find it hard to express myself when I feel safe. I also have Venus in Aries...so...
Express as much as you can, pray thay we understand everything left unspoken.
And now I realize that Capricorn stare is really just a concentrated effort to send the words they cannot say through brainwaves. It doesn't work, but you know what they're doing lol.click to expand
Posted by MaxPowerThis. +1000
Hmm.
I personally believe that astrology and knowledge of our natal charts can help us learn what our natural strengths and weaknesses are so we can appropriately deal with them. Direct communication is necessary for any relationship. It's not just an alternative way of doing things. It's the only way to make sure two people understand one another. I hate talking about my feelings, and I'll admit I avoid it, but after screwing up relationships all through my twenties, I now know that if I want my girlfriend to know what I think or feel, I have to tell her.
Pisces tend to romanticize life and try to escape. That's not okay. We should use that knowledge of the natural tendency to avoid doing that. Some signs are known for cheating. That doesn't make cheating okay for them. It's a tendency they have to work against. Some signs are known for being jealous and brooding. Those behaviors are not nor should they be socially acceptable.
We should be using our natal charts to help ourselves improve, not to draw a line in the sand and say "this is how I am. Deal with it," if the behavior in question is, in fact, negative, hurtful, or ineffective.
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