Deleting people from your life

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by Cappedoff on Thursday, July 23, 2015 and has 14 replies.
If you had a person or people in your life you tried to have relationship or friendship with, but it just didn't work. No fighting, no drama... Just couldn't develop how long before you would delete them out... Like their phone number And other ways of contacting you.

The reason I ask is I had few people in my phone contact life and on social media who I tried to develop various relationship with.. Friendship and business. They didn't work out so I just decided to delete them out since we don't talk or meet anymore. My Pisces friend said I was wrong to do so since they didn't do anything to me. To me was no deal.. But now I'm wondering if the Pisces is overreacting or I'm just not nice of a person... Curious if this is a capricorn thing? Lol
In my opinion, if you don't even talk to them anymore then there isn't harm in deleting them. Pisces tend to collect relationships. This makes it difficult to cultivate deep relationships with a few people and I had to have a Scorp/Virgo woman point this out to me right before she decided NOT to continue our friendship. I understand what she was saying, but if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have ever looked at it this way.

Streamline your relationships like you would anything else. Reduce the people clutter as it will only server to improve your life. The Pisces friend doesn't SEE this, because she's probably never been in a position to have someone erect boundaries that force her to make these types of people contact decisions.
you did the people a favor by deleting them from your contacts
Your friend is overreacting. These people obviously don't serve a purpose in your life, and since you deleted them, I'm sure they have not tried to contact you. Best suggestion if you want to make any changes in your life, ask yourself does this/do they serve a purpose to me?
I usually just leave their numbers in my phone in case I so need to get in touch at some point
Posted by champranger
Posted by SophiaEva
Your friend is overreacting. These people obviously don't serve a purpose in your life, and since you deleted them, I'm sure they have not tried to contact you. Best suggestion if you want to make any changes in your life, ask yourself does this/do they serve a purpose to me?

So you only keep people in your life who are useful to you?
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Isn't the Capricorn motto "I use" ??
Posted by truecap
I usually just leave their numbers in my phone in case I so need to get in touch at some point

Yup, me too - I just see no reason to delete them. I don't think there is anything wrong with doing it, though. We just do things differently, that's all. Imo.
Posted by tiziani
Posted by SpiceNSugar
Posted by champranger
Posted by SophiaEva
Your friend is overreacting. These people obviously don't serve a purpose in your life, and since you deleted them, I'm sure they have not tried to contact you. Best suggestion if you want to make any changes in your life, ask yourself does this/do they serve a purpose to me?

So you only keep people in your life who are useful to you?

Isn't the Capricorn motto "I use" ??

Yep.

All Earth placements really imo.
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Imo, there is a great difference between using someone and feeling that they serve a purpose. No, I don't want people in my life who don't serve a purpose, why would I? And serving a purpose might just be that they are fun or nice or exciting to have a conversation with. Or even that they make me feel useful in some way. Don't forget - it works both ways.
Posted by tiziani
Whichever way you want to frame it, HappyCapper. You know I have love for you.

Either way, this is one of the things I actually like about the 2% of astrology that isn't bs. It unplugs people from the social stigma that surrounds certain words for no reason.

If I say "all Capricorns are resourceful"

tomorrow there's 10 Capricorns lining up to agree and maybe even a couple of them say "I'm a long-time lurker, love this forum. Just signed up to say, yes! Capricorns are resourceful aren't we?"


but as soon as someone says "Capricorns are good at using people"

Even though it's the same thing, all of a sudden everyone backs away slowly.

Absolutely. The term used originally in this thread was "serve a purpose," which was taken to mean as being "useful" and, as I read it, in the negative sense of the word, hence my post. I do also believe that connotation to be the most common one. But maybe I'm wrong. Idk.

Language is not static, but a living, moving thing, imo, so I think it's difficult to really convey what you mean, especially in a forum like this one, where people stem from so many different cultures and discourses, and may thereby use different connotations of the same word. But maybe not in this case. Again, idk.

Nothing but love on ya, tiziani.
Posted by tiziani
Whichever way you want to frame it, HappyCapper. You know I have love for you.

Either way, this is one of the things I actually like about the 2% of astrology that isn't bs. It unplugs people from the social stigma that surrounds certain words for no reason.

If I say "all Capricorns are resourceful"

tomorrow there's 10 Capricorns lining up to agree and maybe even a couple of them say "I'm a long-time lurker, love this forum. Just signed up to say, yes! Capricorns are resourceful aren't we?"


but as soon as someone says "Capricorns are good at using people"

Even though it's the same thing, all of a sudden everyone backs away slowly.

Touché!!
Posted by champranger
Posted by Cappedoff
If you had a person or people in your life you tried to have relationship or friendship with, but it just didn't work. No fighting, no drama... Just couldn't develop how long before you would delete them out... Like their phone number And other ways of contacting you.

The reason I ask is I had few people in my phone contact life and on social media who I tried to develop various relationship with.. Friendship and business. They didn't work out so I just decided to delete them out since we don't talk or meet anymore. My Pisces friend said I was wrong to do so since they didn't do anything to me. To me was no deal.. But now I'm wondering if the Pisces is overreacting or I'm just not nice of a person... Curious if this is a capricorn thing? Lol

Why don't you talk anymore? Like as in message a hello every now and then? If friendship, relationship, and business didn't work out, why not just be acquaintances? Maybe they're not messaging you because they don't know your schedule and wouldn't want to be intrusive to your busy schedule?

It might not be a big deal to you. But can you say the same thing about the other person without first trying to reach out?
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The people in question are/were either ...

1) People I meet years ago through work conferences. We were networking. After the intital meeting I did do some things for them, but right after they disappeared. I thought we would continue talking/networking but they never even contacted me after. I wrote a few holiday greeting online cards, but never got reply.

2) One was a guy I meet that asked for my contact info, so we would go on a date later, some years ago. We talked on the phone and social media for about two weeks quite frequently, then he suddenly he comes with "I'm overloaded with work so we'll have to postpone the date." I told this person no problem. Weeks passed he didn't contact me, so then I called him. He didn't answer but wrote me an SMS saying he was on holiday. Nothing after that and it's been now almost 8 months.

3) Some people I meet through my work, they said they enjoyed my writing and asked to be added to my social media. I never heard from them or even got the impression they were following/reading my work.
And just to add if it's LinkedIn or other career based networks I'm happy to have million contacts but other social media which is more personal than business I prefer to only add people I actually know and have close relationships as I do time to time add photos and personal info. Maybe I'm strange but I'm just not the type to share all my personal with every person, like some other people do.
Posted by caprigoral
Posted by Cappedoff
If you had a person or people in your life you tried to have relationship or friendship with, but it just didn't work. No fighting, no drama... Just couldn't develop how long before you would delete them out... Like their phone number And other ways of contacting you.

The reason I ask is I had few people in my phone contact life and on social media who I tried to develop various relationship with.. Friendship and business. They didn't work out so I just decided to delete them out since we don't talk or meet anymore. My Pisces friend said I was wrong to do so since they didn't do anything to me. To me was no deal.. But now I'm wondering if the Pisces is overreacting or I'm just not nice of a person... Curious if this is a capricorn thing? Lol

I do this but I don't think it's sign specific. Pisces dad says to always leave a door open or don't close all doors behind you, ever. Yet, he does exactly like me, or I do like him?!Big Grin We both want to be genuine and only hold onto contacts we genuinely still have a connection with and feel are a positive influence on us. I just leave contacts that weren't ever personal for a year or so, then delete if they clutter up my phone book/e-mail list and it stresses me to look at a list of people I've no idea why I have their contact info. I'm not on facebook or similar though, it's e-mails and phone#s with me. Mom's the one who decides who to lose based on their usefulness. Both parents have Aries Moons and are very impulsive. Mom's a Libra. Mom has no regrets but she doesn't necessarily forget the people like I do, dad's the one who's likely to beat himself up over an impulse to lose someone's contact details when he becomes sentimental after some time. So it's probably a familial thing with us and nothing to do with me being a Cap.

Oh, I used to do annual sweeps on myspace! It felt so soul cleansing and like I could breath again and let new energy into my life. Like an energy declutter. If I were on facebook, I'd probably do the same annual thing with anyone I hadn't had any contact with at least once within a year. Nothing personal.
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LOL that's funny since my Pisces says the same thing. In a way they are right ... but if i see nothing b
I never really got our Motto "I use".
I agree more with the interpretation of having people in our lives serve a purpose. We're a more introverted sign and I personally can't have tons of friends and acquaintances to keep up with or else I'll feel spread out too thin and feel like there is too much social pressure.

I would prefer a few people in my life who bring meaning like family, reliable friends and maybe a trustworthy coworker or two.

Have I ever looked at someone and thought "how can I use this person to benefit me? What can they do for me?" No. I'm sure that there a immature cappies who think like that.

I have cut people out of my life who gave done something messed up to me to the point I dont even think its worth salvaging. Where I evaluate my relationship with them and determine they are unlikely to change vs the energy needed to repair the relationship.