did I do the right thing? I am having doubts
This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by SensualCancerChika on Wednesday, March 28, 2012 and has 15 replies.
This is my first time here and my first dealing with a capricorn man and it has been nothing but an emotional roller coaster. I'm a cancer woman very straight forward not the typical clingy or needy person. So I was dating this cappy for about 4 months. he was wonderful in the beginning. very attentive texting and calling almost everyday all that sappy stuff. A very sweet gentle man. He was so into me and I was surprised as to my own feelings because I hold back due to the fact I'm afraid of getting hurt. To be honest I wasn't really attracted to him at the jump and thought he was kinda boring. So I gave him a chance and after our first date we hung out once or twice every week. We had so much fun together non physical and physically. As I got to know him more I realized He was everything I was looking for in a man, but still kept my walls up. we had so much in common that I really thought things were going to work out. Then he became distant and not texting calling as much as he was before. I gave him his space he would disappear for like 3 days and come back. I never questioned it. we would make plans to hang out and he would cancel at the very last minute without even saying why. mind you I live 45 min away from him and he don't have a car. So I was always re-arranging my schedule for him. I cooked for him at times and he liked to have his occasional drink especially after a hard days work. So every time I went over I would bring him his favorite beer or his favorite brand of vodka. he never said thank you i figured thats just who he is. He works 2 jobs so work comes first, giving him his space and being patient was how I showed that I really cared and that I understood him. so he pretty much dumped me 2 1/2 weeks ago saying that we are not compatible in the ways he wants us to be that I am too fast paced and he don't work that way. so I was ok with it because I don't beg nobody to stay. if he wants to go then go. He comes back 2 days later saying he was thinking of me and he misses me so I give it another shot. We hung out begining of last week and he disappears on me again this time for longer than his usual 3 days. I told him Straight up that he was being inconsiderate of me and that he runs away every time I ask him why he does the things he does. Felt I deserved to know if he really wants to be with me or just stringing me along. I was at my breaking point so I ended it. I cant get into details because thats between us. but some advice is nice
Sounds like a looser *sorry*
So I think you did the right thing
I think relationships should be fun especially in the very beginning. You have only dated a few weeks and you already are having misunderstandings
And why in the world he doesn't have a car?! Usually guys that don't have a car lost their license for either not paying child support or dui... Just fyi...
So I think you did the right thing
I think relationships should be fun especially in the very beginning. You have only dated a few weeks and you already are having misunderstandings
And why in the world he doesn't have a car?! Usually guys that don't have a car lost their license for either not paying child support or dui... Just fyi...
I just thought of something:
Sounds that you tried to be super nice to the guy... In my experience this doesn't work well with guys, cap or any other sign, they seem to get way too comfortable and start using us girls. And all we do, just trying to be nice and give some loving.
I've been through this so many times. So now I hold myself back especially in the beginning of dating, so hard for me but this way I know he is with me not just because I do his laundry and pour his beer...
Sounds that you tried to be super nice to the guy... In my experience this doesn't work well with guys, cap or any other sign, they seem to get way too comfortable and start using us girls. And all we do, just trying to be nice and give some loving.
I've been through this so many times. So now I hold myself back especially in the beginning of dating, so hard for me but this way I know he is with me not just because I do his laundry and pour his beer...
@SensualCancer, he has told you that you are incompatible, believe him. He sounds like a user and he is no good for your emotional stability.
You being the chaufer?
You buying his alcohol?
You cooking his meals?
You accepting his lack of gratitude?
You taking him back?
Can you see the pattern?
You buying his alcohol?
You cooking his meals?
You accepting his lack of gratitude?
You taking him back?
Can you see the pattern?
He sounds very insecure to me but thats just his problem and it has nothing to do with you. I dont see where you've done anything wrong at all. Its probably best to stay away and dont just say it but mean it. He'll figure it out and if its too late then oh well.
You do sound really sweet and deserve so much better!!!!
I think he took advantage of your sweetness and started taking you for granted - that you would just be there for him when he was ready (always available). He started treating you like you are a door mat (I'm not saying you are/were). You pampered him too much, which is not wrong if it he would have pampered you back, but he was not of the mindset not to return the favor.
He sounds like a jerk and a user! Yes, you are lucky that you found out early. There are lots of nice guys out there that will appreciate you! One of them will enjoy being spoiled rotten and will spoil you right back!
I think he took advantage of your sweetness and started taking you for granted - that you would just be there for him when he was ready (always available). He started treating you like you are a door mat (I'm not saying you are/were). You pampered him too much, which is not wrong if it he would have pampered you back, but he was not of the mindset not to return the favor.
He sounds like a jerk and a user! Yes, you are lucky that you found out early. There are lots of nice guys out there that will appreciate you! One of them will enjoy being spoiled rotten and will spoil you right back!
Doesnt even sound like a typical Cappie to me,... I wonder what his birth chart is like, prolly full of air. Most all Caps i know are gentlemen and responsible.
I think the difference in her pampering him was that she didn't do it expecting things in return. If anything, her not have many expectations, her being able to pull away giving him his space, along with her not begging him to stay after he ended it is what's throwing him for a loop to be honest.
I think a woman should be able to do what she wants for a guy, as long as it's from the heart and there are no major expectations tied to it. Be comfortable in your skin and give what you want. That way you won't be bitter in the end because you didn't do it solely for him, but you did it because it's who you are. So her doing things for him wasn't the problem imo.
I just think he's insecure, and very insecure at that. She knows who she is, what she wants, and isn't afraid to show it. He is.
I think a woman should be able to do what she wants for a guy, as long as it's from the heart and there are no major expectations tied to it. Be comfortable in your skin and give what you want. That way you won't be bitter in the end because you didn't do it solely for him, but you did it because it's who you are. So her doing things for him wasn't the problem imo.
I just think he's insecure, and very insecure at that. She knows who she is, what she wants, and isn't afraid to show it. He is.
thank you all for replying to this post.
I woke up this morning knowing I made the right decision. I actually feel better about it so I am good
We are all entitled to have our weak moments and I had mine with this guy and I am over it. No I will not be going back to this man I cut all ties with him the split was this past Tuesday and he texted me this morning and I just ignored him. It is over.
@Inana04 I just have to say I agree with your post I'm a giving person but don't expect nothing in return. It makes me feel good to know that I can do something nice for somebody. anyways im at work can't really say much more.
Thanks again everybody and if I meet another cap I will definitely be more cautious. Hope everyone has a good day!
I woke up this morning knowing I made the right decision. I actually feel better about it so I am good
We are all entitled to have our weak moments and I had mine with this guy and I am over it. No I will not be going back to this man I cut all ties with him the split was this past Tuesday and he texted me this morning and I just ignored him. It is over.@Inana04 I just have to say I agree with your post I'm a giving person but don't expect nothing in return. It makes me feel good to know that I can do something nice for somebody. anyways im at work can't really say much more.
Thanks again everybody and if I meet another cap I will definitely be more cautious. Hope everyone has a good day!
I just meant that she deserves someone to be sweet to her right back. This guy was not worthy of such good treatment.
ok so update.. This cap man won't leave me alone! He keeps texting and calling and he just doesn't get the hint.
I don't understand why he thinks its ok to play with my mind, my emotions and think I am just going to run back to him like nothing even happened. I gave him a second chance and he blew it! I heard that some capricorn men will do anything in their power to get what they don't have. Are they prone to stalking? My sister was getting to know his friend at one point and she ended it becuase she didn't think they were a good fit. Mind you they havn't communicated in over a month then all of a sudden he calls her and asks how are things and started asking questions about me?? something just isn't right.
I don't understand why he thinks its ok to play with my mind, my emotions and think I am just going to run back to him like nothing even happened. I gave him a second chance and he blew it! I heard that some capricorn men will do anything in their power to get what they don't have. Are they prone to stalking? My sister was getting to know his friend at one point and she ended it becuase she didn't think they were a good fit. Mind you they havn't communicated in over a month then all of a sudden he calls her and asks how are things and started asking questions about me?? something just isn't right.
He's either regretting OR wants what he can't have. I would come right out and ask him what his intentions are. And I would ask him if he knows why you stopped contact in the first place. See what he says.
Dont take him so seriously. He might ask about you, try to still get with you, stalk or whatever but hes probably just entertaining himself. Truth is, he had his chance and if he was to be taken seriously he wouldnt have blown it. They will always try, and you can give him an a,b,or c for his effort, but dont put too much thought into what hes doing, especially not if hes one of the funny or more silly caps. With that type you just gotta laugh at them. He can end up being agood friend if you are open to it.
At the time I did explained in detail the reasons why I was ending things with him. I clearly told him too that we can not be friends because friends don't treat eachother badly, he hung up on me and thats where it ended. I was fine with the break up. he was the bitter one and from the looks of it he still is. I did send him a text this past sunday saying to please stop texting and calling that its not going to make anything better. I don't take him seriously and yes I do laugh at some of the stuff he says, but most times he just bothers me.
@ellesque your right I was his play toy at the time. like I said before I had my weak moment and I'm entitled to learn from my mistakes. Trust me I will not be going down that road again.
@ellesque your right I was his play toy at the time. like I said before I had my weak moment and I'm entitled to learn from my mistakes. Trust me I will not be going down that road again.
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