After a break up that you initiated, does he ever try to come back and fight for the relationship or does he just give up?
Do Cap ExBf's ever fight for the relationship?
If I initiate it, I meant it. However, if it was done in anger/pride/self protection I might regret it.
Only if he realizes he did wrong.
I was the one that initiated it because I felt I had no other choice. I just don't know if he will really work to fix things.
I'm an Aqua/Pisces cusp
Why would I fight to get back together with you when you have so clearly demonstrated that you do not want to be with me?
^^^truth!
Posted by StoicGoat
Why would I fight to get back together with you when you have so clearly demonstrated that you do not want to be with me?
ITA. I've only ever gone back to one relationship for a second try and it didnt work. I am Aries rising, Sag moon, and Cap/aqua cusp..so I let go and move on quicker than most I have been told..oh and pisces venus doesn't help either...
Posted by StoicGoat
Why would I fight to get back together with you when you have so clearly demonstrated that you do not want to be with me?
Sometimes the Cap is the one that cause the breakdown in the relationship.
It's not that the other person doesn't "want to be with you", it's just that they "can't" because you won't step up in some areas.
If after someone breaks up with you under those circumstances, and you can really see where you let the relationship down on your part, do you fight to make it work or do you just quit and let it die.
*smh*
You can't deal under the circumstances...
You can't deal under the circumstances...
Posted by lildol
*smh*
You can't deal under the circumstances...
Oh so you're saying the CAP is the one that can't deal under the circumstances? That's fine.
Posted by CutieGirlPosted by StoicGoat
Why would I fight to get back together with you when you have so clearly demonstrated that you do not want to be with me?
It's not that the other person doesn't "want to be with you", it's just that they "can't" because you won't step up in some areas.
If after someone breaks up with you under those circumstances, and you can really see where you let the relationship down on your part, do you fight to make it work or do you just quit and let it die.click to expand
Whatever the reason you used to justify the decision to yourself, you chose to end the relationship. I didn't quit; you did. In breaking up with me, you passed though a one-way door that will not be opened again.
Posted by StoicGoatPosted by CutieGirlPosted by StoicGoat
Why would I fight to get back together with you when you have so clearly demonstrated that you do not want to be with me?
It's not that the other person doesn't "want to be with you", it's just that they "can't" because you won't step up in some areas.
If after someone breaks up with you under those circumstances, and you can really see where you let the relationship down on your part, do you fight to make it work or do you just quit and let it die.
Whatever the reason you used to justify the decision to yourself, you chose to end the relationship. I didn't quit; you did. In breaking up with me, you passed though a one-way door that will not be opened again.click to expand
OMG!!!! So you REALLY think people should just keep taking Capricorn crap and never leave—? You really think Capricorns should never been held accountable for their dirt and because someone finally leaves a Capricorn because that Cap is acting like an royal ass, it's the OTHER person's fault for leaving— You gotta be freakin' kidding me man!!!!
If it's not too much trouble, would you mind pointing out exactly where I either explicitly stated or indirectly implied any of what you just assumed?
StoicGoat
When you said "Whatever the reason you used to justify the decision to yourself, you chose to end the relationship."
That soundly just because the other person left you there could be no way in hell the Cap drove them to it and because of that the Cap (or you in the instance) wouldn't fight to reconcile. You'd just let the person go because you felt it was THEIR mistake for leaving—
That was biggest pile of bull I've heard all damn day! Quitting means more than saying good-bye. The good-bye come way after the Cap stopped trying. To me quitting is when you don't do all you can to make a good thing last.
But you feel how you feel dude.
When you said "Whatever the reason you used to justify the decision to yourself, you chose to end the relationship."
That soundly just because the other person left you there could be no way in hell the Cap drove them to it and because of that the Cap (or you in the instance) wouldn't fight to reconcile. You'd just let the person go because you felt it was THEIR mistake for leaving—
That was biggest pile of bull I've heard all damn day! Quitting means more than saying good-bye. The good-bye come way after the Cap stopped trying. To me quitting is when you don't do all you can to make a good thing last.
But you feel how you feel dude.
Posted by CutieGirl
StoicGoat
When you said "Whatever the reason you used to justify the decision to yourself, you chose to end the relationship."
That soundly just because the other person left you there could be no way in hell the Cap drove them to it and because of that the Cap (or you in the instance) wouldn't fight to reconcile. You'd just let the person go because you felt it was THEIR mistake for leaving—
That was biggest pile of bull I've heard all damn day! Quitting means more than saying good-bye. The good-bye come way after the Cap stopped trying. To me quitting is when you don't do all you can to make a good thing last.
But you feel how you feel dude.
The only "feeling" I have here expressed is that which I am about to, namely, that of amusement at how you have assumed my assent to all of the words you put in my mouth. I requested that you provide specific examples extracted from my comments that would demonstrate some logical base for your assumptions, but you have failed to provide these. The only thing you have done is to continue on with your baseless and irrational assumptions.
I'm curious, did you behave in this same manner while in your relationship with your Cap?
Stoic / You're the one that's an amusement. LOL
Why don't you clear up exactly what YOU meant in your comment so I can "get it right"?
I was taking your words at face value, but if you meant something other than what you said that's not my fault. I asked YOU a direct question regarding the validity your statement(of which you will probably never answer). You implied you wouldn't fight because the other person quit, not you, but when I asked you if the Cap played a huge part in the person's decision to end the relationship you could/wouldn't answer that one.
But it's cool. The example was your response.
If you don't do well with accountabilty when someone asks you a direct question, you probably don't in a relationship either.
Why don't you clear up exactly what YOU meant in your comment so I can "get it right"?
I was taking your words at face value, but if you meant something other than what you said that's not my fault. I asked YOU a direct question regarding the validity your statement(of which you will probably never answer). You implied you wouldn't fight because the other person quit, not you, but when I asked you if the Cap played a huge part in the person's decision to end the relationship you could/wouldn't answer that one.
But it's cool. The example was your response.
If you don't do well with accountabilty when someone asks you a direct question, you probably don't in a relationship either.
Posted by CutieGirl
Stoic / You're the one that's an amusement. LOL
Why don't you clear up exactly what YOU meant in your comment so I can "get it right"?
If you don't do well with accountabilty when someone asks you a direct question, you probably don't in a relationship either.
He was very clear! Not sure where your confusion is... :/
I'm not confused at all. I read exactly what he wrote. He's saying no matter what reason a person uses to justify leaving, they left and he didn't so why should HE fight. I just asked him if he would fight if it was his bad behaviour that caused her to leave.
Whew, how can you make such a simple thing hard?
Posted by CutieGirl
I'm not confused at all. I read exactly what he wrote. He's saying no matter what reason a person uses to justify leaving, they left and he didn't so why should HE fight. I just asked him if he would fight if it was his bad behaviour that caused her to leave.
No, he said that people who are selfish in their reasoning deserve what they get and YOU need to own up to your own selfish behavior!
ot confused, why do you not yet understand?
Your initial question:
Posted by CutieGirl
After a break up that you initiated, does he ever try to come back and fight for the relationship or does he just give up?
My response:
Posted by StoicGoat
Why would I fight to get back together with you when you have so clearly demonstrated that you do not want to be with me?
Your request for clarification:
Posted by CutieGirl
It's not that the other person doesn't "want to be with you", it's just that they "can't" because you won't step up in some areas.
If after someone breaks up with you under those circumstances, and you can really see where you let the relationship down on your part, do you fight to make it work or do you just quit and let it die.
My response:
Posted by StoicGoat
Whatever the reason you used to justify the decision to yourself, you chose to end the relationship. I didn't quit; you did. In breaking up with me, you passed though a one-way door that will not be opened again.
Your first demonstration (in this thread) of irrationality and illogic:
Posted by CutieGirl
OMG!!!! So you REALLY think people should just keep taking Capricorn crap and never leave—? You really think Capricorns should never been held accountable for their dirt and because someone finally leaves a Capricorn because that Cap is acting like an royal ass, it's the OTHER person's fault for leaving— You gotta be freakin' kidding me man!!!!
My very polite request for you to point out what exactly it was that I had said that conveyed any of what you clearly assumed, based on your immediately previous response:
Posted by StoicGoat
If it's not too much trouble, would you mind pointing out exactly where I either explicitly stated or indirectly implied any of what you just assumed?click to expand
e to my request which, by the way, failed to address the question I specifically asked of you and in which you maintained your previous baseless assumptions.
Posted by CutieGirl
That soundly just because the other person left you there could be no way in hell the Cap drove them to it and because of that the Cap (or you in the instance) wouldn't fight to reconcile. You'd just let the person go because you felt it was THEIR mistake for leaving—
That was biggest pile of bull I've heard all damn day! Quitting means more than saying good-bye. The good-bye come way after the Cap stopped trying. To me quitting is when you don't do all you can to make a good thing last.
But you feel how you feel dude.
My response to your second demonstration of irrationality and illogic.
Posted by StoicGoat
The only "feeling" I have here expressed is that which I am about to, namely, that of amusement at how you have assumed my assent to all of the words you put in my mouth. I requested that you provide specific examples extracted from my comments that would demonstrate some logical base for your assumptions, but you have failed to provide these. The only thing you have done is to continue on with your baseless and irrational assumptions.
I'm curious, did you behave in this same manner while in your relationship with your Cap?
Your most severe (to date) demonstration of poor reading comprehension skills, in which you continue to maintain assumptions for which there is no evidentiary base.
Posted by CutieGirl
I was taking your words at face value, but if you meant something other than what you said that's not my fault. I asked YOU a direct question regarding the validity your statement(of which you will probably never answer). You implied you wouldn't fight because the other person quit, not you, but when I asked you if the Cap played a huge part in the person's decision to end the relationship you could/wouldn't answer that one.click to expand
Had you taken my words at face value and comprehended them you would neither have taken offense nor made the baseless assumptions you have made and which you continue to maintain.
You asked if a Cap would fight to get back together with you if you dumped him. What, if any, role the Cap and any issues he may have played in your decision to end the relationship is irrelevant to the question you asked. You chose to end the relationship. You did not try to work through whatever problems you were having. You demonstrated that your preference is to leave rather than try to work through whatever problem(s) the two of you are/were having. If you have tried to work through things and are now at your wit's end, so to speak, is irrelevant; you made the choice to end the relationship. In so doing, you demonstrated that you do not want to be with the Cap.
In case you missed it the first time I asked (and I must assume you did, since you did not answer, unless the question confused you and thus you elected to ignore it), I will ask again, having now provided what I hope will serve as more than adequate additional clarification: Why would I fight to get back together with you when you have so clearly demonstrated that you do not want to be with me?
You asked if a Cap would fight to get back together with you if you dumped him. What, if any, role the Cap and any issues he may have played in your decision to end the relationship is irrelevant to the question you asked. You chose to end the relationship. You did not try to work through whatever problems you were having. You demonstrated that your preference is to leave rather than try to work through whatever problem(s) the two of you are/were having. If you have tried to work through things and are now at your wit's end, so to speak, is irrelevant; you made the choice to end the relationship. In so doing, you demonstrated that you do not want to be with the Cap.
In case you missed it the first time I asked (and I must assume you did, since you did not answer, unless the question confused you and thus you elected to ignore it), I will ask again, having now provided what I hope will serve as more than adequate additional clarification: Why would I fight to get back together with you when you have so clearly demonstrated that you do not want to be with me?
There you go, I made it very basic and you're trying to overload the poor girl's brain *smh*
Her brain is going to explode!! She can't handle a logical rationalization of the situation or life in general if presented in too many words *shrugs*
Her brain is going to explode!! She can't handle a logical rationalization of the situation or life in general if presented in too many words *shrugs*
Of course, watching her choke on your/our words may have some entertainment value 🙂
Posted by 3588PISCES
why would you want a person with bad behaviour to fight for you after you left, if you clearly saw he did nothing good to prevent you from deciding to leave in the first place?
FYI, Stoic is a very respected man here and you are missing out big time, Because his advice is worth Gold.
@@@@Hey Eusive & Stoic this reminds me of piss pass female version... hehehe
Long time, no see 88! How ya been?
P.S. I'm quoting everything you say so that when you delete yourself again everything you said doesn't go poof! like the genie😉
🙂
respectable— 😛
Mi Espanol es muy mal, pero I get by LOL
I can read it better than speak or write it TBH, can't understand it for shit if spoken (too fast)... I only had a year in college, best I can do with that is tell you my name and say my Spanish is bad LOL
88 habla espanol, Elusive y lildol. 🙂
Muy bien, senorita. Gracias por preguntar. (Although "very good" might be a stretch 😛)
Muy bien, senorita. Gracias por preguntar. (Although "very good" might be a stretch 😛)
SHIT! The Aqua's gonna get pretty darn pissed her thread was derailed LOL
(they always do 😛)
*shrugs*
(they always do 😛)
*shrugs*
Posted by StoicGoat
If you are not confused, why do you not yet understand?
Your initial question:
Posted by CutieGirl
After a break up that you initiated, does he ever try to come back and fight for the relationship or does he just give up?
My response:
Posted by StoicGoat
Why would I fight to get back together with you when you have so clearly demonstrated that you do not want to be with me?
Your request for clarification:
Posted by CutieGirl
It's not that the other person doesn't "want to be with you", it's just that they "can't" because you won't step up in some areas.
If after someone breaks up with you under those circumstances, and you can really see where you let the relationship down on your part, do you fight to make it work or do you just quit and let it die.
My response:
Posted by StoicGoat
Whatever the reason you used to justify the decision to yourself, you chose to end the relationship. I didn't quit; you did. In breaking up with me, you passed though a one-way door that will not be opened again.
Your first demonstration (in this thread) of irrationality and illogic:
Posted by CutieGirl
OMG!!!! So you REALLY think people should just keep taking Capricorn crap and never leave—? You really think Capricorns should never been held accountable for their dirt and because someone finally leaves a Capricorn because that Cap is acting like an royal ass, it's the OTHER person's fault for leaving— You gotta be freakin' kidding me man!!!!
My very polite request for you to point out what exactly it was that I had said that conveyed any of what you clearly assumed, based on your immediately previous response:
Posted by StoicGoat
If it's not too much trouble, would you mind pointing out exactly where I either explicitly stated or indirectly implied any of what you just assumed?click to expand
Stoic,
I have no bone to pick with you dude, but don't think for a min
Stoic,
I have no bone to pick with you dude, but don't think for a minute that I don't see that you??ve still not addressed my latest concerns. I have a great ability to get past the BS. That rant you??ve been throwing is completely beside the point and I found it to be one big effort to avoid what was really the issue!
Before I knew it you were like a cat chasing its tail around and around! (Tell me - When did I state? When did I imply? When did I state? When did I imply?) Hell Stoic, to be direct, NOBODY SAID YOU DID! NOBODY EVER SAID YOU DID!
After seeing that so many times, I don't think a person like you would fight for anything at all because it seems like you believe it's ALWAYS the other person??s fault.
Please be clear - I was never accusing you of doing the things I listed (or assumed) personally. I never at anytime said that you explicitly stated or indirectly imply what I presented in my scenario.
What I DID do is challenge your reasoning process IF that scenario had actually happened. I DID question whether or not you think people should just keep taking Capricorn crap and never leave—? I DID asked you if you think Capricorns should never been held accountable for their dirt and because someone finally leaves a Capricorn because they are acting like a royal ass, was it completely the OTHER person's fault for them leaving—
I asked you straight out (and several times) would there be any variation in your decision to fight if you realized you were a major contributor to the demise of the relationship, but you got stuck on when it was that YOU stated or implied any of the things in my example.
For the sake of clarity, I think it should be a given that the person who made the decision to leave the Cap did so after trying again and again to work things out, but if this is not a —given??, PLEASE allow it to stand so as a pivotal factor in this example. It would not make sense for anyone to fight for the relationship if the other person hasn't done all they can do to make things right on their end.
Peace to you
I have no bone to pick with you dude, but don't think for a minute that I don't see that you??ve still not addressed my latest concerns. I have a great ability to get past the BS. That rant you??ve been throwing is completely beside the point and I found it to be one big effort to avoid what was really the issue!
Before I knew it you were like a cat chasing its tail around and around! (Tell me - When did I state? When did I imply? When did I state? When did I imply?) Hell Stoic, to be direct, NOBODY SAID YOU DID! NOBODY EVER SAID YOU DID!
After seeing that so many times, I don't think a person like you would fight for anything at all because it seems like you believe it's ALWAYS the other person??s fault.
Please be clear - I was never accusing you of doing the things I listed (or assumed) personally. I never at anytime said that you explicitly stated or indirectly imply what I presented in my scenario.
What I DID do is challenge your reasoning process IF that scenario had actually happened. I DID question whether or not you think people should just keep taking Capricorn crap and never leave—? I DID asked you if you think Capricorns should never been held accountable for their dirt and because someone finally leaves a Capricorn because they are acting like a royal ass, was it completely the OTHER person's fault for them leaving—
I asked you straight out (and several times) would there be any variation in your decision to fight if you realized you were a major contributor to the demise of the relationship, but you got stuck on when it was that YOU stated or implied any of the things in my example.
For the sake of clarity, I think it should be a given that the person who made the decision to leave the Cap did so after trying again and again to work things out, but if this is not a —given??, PLEASE allow it to stand so as a pivotal factor in this example. It would not make sense for anyone to fight for the relationship if the other person hasn't done all they can do to make things right on their end.
Peace to you
Posted by 3588PISCES
Just reading this long page makes me wanna shoot meself.
I wonder if Girl here would get along with piss pass. maybe they can understand each other.
Eusive, maybe piss pass undestands her language & can translate for us....🙂
You have mucho Aire in you pisces/cusp girl.
I thought about that, but you know, pocket change is actually far better off than cutiegirl. He does actually make some valid points from time to time. He usually shoots himself in the foot shortly thereafter by making some baseless assumption which he cannot defend, but he does at least occasionally make valid points. I've yet to see the OP accomplish that.
HAHAHA!!!!! Stoic Honey, with you I can truly REST MY CASE! LMAO!!!!
Posted by CutieGirl
HAHAHA!!!!! Stoic Honey, with you I can truly REST MY CASE! LMAO!!!!
It's good that you are finally laughing at yourself. Everyone else has been laughing at you for a while now.
Stoic was not right, well maybe in his own mind. He has every right to his opinion. He got stuck asking me when did he imply something and never got back to the point?
I understand you like him and want to defend him. It's Ok.
I understand you like him and want to defend him. It's Ok.
sigh...
Posted by 3588PISCES
I hardly ever speak because she doesn't pay attention to anything I say anyway.
Fixed it! Now it describes cutiegirl perfectly. Just like talking to a wall, except if I was talking to an actual wall, it would reflect my own voice back to me and in that way I would at least have something intelligent to listen to...😛
What's your sister's mercury and mars? I've known a fair number of Aqua girlies (although no cuspers) and have always gotten along famously with them.
Posted by StoicGoat
Why would I fight to get back together with you when you have so clearly demonstrated that you do not want to be with me?
If I love... I'll fight. If I've laid down my committment... I wont leave a stone unturned. When I've tried everything I could possibly... evuuurrreeething... and I've still failed... *then* I will walk away and move on. Albeit very sad.
It depends though. If my guy has cheated and has already moved on himself... pffff... 'see ya sucka!!!'
Posted by CreepyPantsPosted by StoicGoat
Why would I fight to get back together with you when you have so clearly demonstrated that you do not want to be with me?
If I love... I'll fight. If I've laid down my committment... I wont leave a stone unturned. When I've tried everything I could possibly... evuuurrreeething... and I've still failed... *then* I will walk away and move on. Albeit very sad.
It depends though. If my guy has cheated and has already moved on himself... pffff... 'see ya sucka!!!'click to expand
Thanks Creepy Pants - You are a lot like me.
Well we had a long talk last night. We reconfirmed that we love each other and will keep talking, but we've got some big issues to hash out. I don't know if we can but I'm giving it 150% . He's not thinking clearly about a lot of things, plus he's holding on to a old grudge that I've apologized for a million times. I recommitted to being more sensitive in the area that he was upset about - but he's still nursing his wound. I told him if I had of known my action affected him so deeply, I promise I would have done things differently - still mulling over his wound. He said he forgives me, still crying over his wound. I'm like... Well? What else can I do? Tell me what I can do to fix it and I'll do it? No solution from him - goes back to nursing his wound.
He said he doesn't feel the same about the relationship; I told him neither do I buddy! But I'm here fighting for us because I love you. Soooo, we'll see. At this point I am OK either way. I have worked myself to exhaustion trying to do everything right. Everything I say, no matter how caring it is, irrates him. He shared with me that his is really scared he has cancer. My heart is breaking for him but I don't know what to do to make it better.
This morning I ask him if it would help for us to get away from everything and just rest. It always got him back in a good mood before. I said I will shut everything down this weekend and focus completely on making him feel better. No arguments, just cuddling in bed and relaxing. I told him if he needs space that's fine too. If he wants to break up - at this point I've done all I can so I'll have to be fine with it.
Oh no worries. Thanks you so much for your insight. I was just sharing.
Posted by EusiveSoulll
Just forget EVERYTHING else at this moment and be there for him and *LISTEN*.... listen to him carefully !!!!
Oh no no no! You aren't wrong! I hear ya' and I'm so thankful for you reaching out to me.
You don't know hard I'm trying to do just that, but I can't do anything if he's blocking every attempt. If I leave him alone, that's not good, if I stay that's not good either. So, if no solution works and he just wants to be miserable, I may have to move on. I don't want to but what else can I do?
Girl this man can talk for hours!!!! LOL but Yep - you could be right!
They found a growth on his kidney's and are running more test to try and rule out cancer. He's a bit older than me (me 41/him 52) and may be starting to be concerned about his prostate, but he hasn't said it was more than his kidney. His lower back hurts a lot but this could be attributed to the kidney thing.
I told him if he needed a few weeks or even months away from me that it would be OK so I'm letting him know I'll give him space. I'll just have to wait to see what he decides - he hasn't responded yet.
I thought that option would be better than just saying it's over forever. It seems like he's trying to make it so I can't win no matter how I try.
I told him if he needed a few weeks or even months away from me that it would be OK so I'm letting him know I'll give him space. I'll just have to wait to see what he decides - he hasn't responded yet.
I thought that option would be better than just saying it's over forever. It seems like he's trying to make it so I can't win no matter how I try.
Good advice. Thanks!
OhhhhhKay! LOL - Guess I'll just shut up.
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