Do you forgive and forget?
This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by capris on Friday, August 6, 2010 and has 12 replies.
I have had 2 xbfs that broke my heart and I completely stopped talking to them. Then someone from the past also left me disappointed -- not so much broken hearted -- and I forgave him. I thought this is unlikely of me. So do you CAPPIES forgive and forget?
I move on and don't hold grudges, but never forget. I usually come back around in due time, but the relationship as it was would never be the same (romantically or otherwise).
Posted by capris
I have had 2 xbfs that broke my heart and I completely stopped talking to them. Then someone from the past also left me disappointed -- not so much broken hearted -- and I forgave him. I thought this is unlikely of me. So do you CAPPIES forgive and forget?
yes its a healing process you must or you wont heal the hurt u must forgive ur self.
What Is Self-forgiveness?
Self-forgiveness is the willingness to believe that you are worthy, that there are no mistakes rather, you are on the planet, or in Earth School (as some people call it) to learn about being human. The opportunities to learn are just that - not mistakes - just opportunities to learn.
Practical Steps to Self-forgiveness
* Examine how you perceived a certain situation and how you can chose to change your perception. Remember that the thoughts we think create the feelings, and it is our perception that creates our interpretations of the situation.
* Accept yourself and your humanness - you are not supposed to be perfect.
* Admit when you make a mistake.
* Remember that everybody is doing the best they can with what they know, and that includes you.
* Let go of past-future thinking, stay in the 'Now.'
* Confront your emotional pain - own your own 'stuff.'
* Appreciate the lessons that have contributed to your growth and made you who you are now.
always forgive, never ever forget. ...unless it's someone i really love and the offense wasn't too drastic. i have a difficult time completely banishing people from my life, toxic or not. if friends disappoint or wrong me in some way, i can move on from it and will have trouble recalling what it was they did in the first place to piss me off or hurt me.
Posted by scorpio_chic
I'm going to have to hide this.. lol telling my business is one thing but now I feel like I just told all of his even though y'all don't know him.
you crack me up.
i forgive in due time depending on what it was.
@CappyLuv: my thoughts exactly... too much energy! You sound so much like me LOL
Im not Cap but I have a Cap rising.
Forgetting the slight is impossible but forgiving is easy. You have to really push me far for me to cut your ass off.
@CappyLuv, my ex has done countless things, cheat, lie all that good stuff but we are still cool. Forgiving helps me rather than him. There is nothing worse than being bitter. So I am just like you, I will always be cordial. Matter of fact I have met his son who he had while I was on active duty. Im not in love with him anymore so that is easy.
Forgive YES. Forget, never.
@ Scorpio.....she will always be there but im sure he is over her and loves you.
Forgetting the slight is impossible but forgiving is easy. You have to really push me far for me to cut your ass off.
@CappyLuv, my ex has done countless things, cheat, lie all that good stuff but we are still cool. Forgiving helps me rather than him. There is nothing worse than being bitter. So I am just like you, I will always be cordial. Matter of fact I have met his son who he had while I was on active duty. Im not in love with him anymore so that is easy.
Forgive YES. Forget, never.
@ Scorpio.....she will always be there but im sure he is over her and loves you.
Posted by capris
I have had 2 xbfs that broke my heart and I completely stopped talking to them. Then someone from the past also left me disappointed -- not so much broken hearted -- and I forgave him. I thought this is unlikely of me. So do you CAPPIES forgive and forget?
.... hmmmmm
In my case, I would say that I can forgive but it depends on what happen in order for me to forget. I takes too much energy to hold grudges, but at the same time, just because I'm okay with someone again does mean that things are the same as they once were.
I tend to stop speaking to people too, but it's not left open-ended, more than likely (unless the person is just dense) they are well aware of why I stop talking to them. Somethings can just disappear out of memory but other things just stick.
I don't base alot on trust because I know we are all capable of screw ups but at the same time, I don't trust many people, mainly myself because I know me better than anyone else.
Posted by periperi
Only if it's CappySweety and she shows me her 'little things'
LOL!!!!!!! I didn't even see this xD! This man is crazy lol
I think I can say that I've forgiven my x that totally treated me like crap. He feels really bad and asks my friends about me. I'm not going to go out of my way, but if I do see him, I will let him know that I forgive him. It took 2 yrs, but better than never.
Posted by CappyLuv1
@justSophs That's cool that you are still on good terms with your ex. Mine unfortunately is the bitter type. He'll hold grudges til the end of time which is hilarious cuz I wasn't the one that was unfaithful LOL. After the divorce, I never heard from the guy again. It was like he never existed or he was a figment of my imagination. And even still, if I see him on the street or even if I see the woman he married (which was the woman he cheated on me with), I'll say hi with a smile. No ulterior motives. No hard feelings. No emotions for the guy or even his wife....it would be like saying hello to an old acquaintance.
LOL Trust me, he is bitter becuz he hates himself for screwing up, so seeing you reminds him of all the crappy stuff he did. I bet that he is not happy with the girl he married thats why he so bitter. You don't hear from him becuz he is ashamed of himself for being such a loser. Thats her problem now. You are better off without him. The grass is always never greener on the other side.
My ex husband always try to pretend that he is single in hopes of getting back with me (he lives with his childs mom) but I could care less. I've moved on completely....he will stay wishing and hoping and praying.
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