Forgiveness

Why is it so hard for us to forgive...? Dated aqua and it was the closest thing to perfect that I knew...but the one time he messed up, I just couldn't look past it. Even though I still care, the fact that he hurt me cancels out everything. I couldn't bring myself to open up again...it's like I completely shut off, and him being sorry for it didn't matter. I wana be able to forgive, because in the long run...everybody is gonna hurt me @ some point, and I need to be able to look past it because having them in my life means everything. But I don't know where to begin. All I focus on is the hurt, and I have this immense desire to strike back. I broke up with him so I could hurt him back...there's a voice in my head telling me 'he deserved it, and now ur even'. Before I did it, I had sleepless nights just thinking about it all...now I sleep like a baby. What is it that makes caps so sensitive?


Why can't we forgive—

You can forgive, i just think that whatever he did was unforgivable to you.

Maybe you will but it just takes time.

Caps do forgive I know that for a fact, but you are not ready to forgive and dont compromise what youre feeling to appease him.

Plus no relationship is perfect and some1 will hurt you again but maybe that the next person you will be able to forgive and move on.

It just feels as though the only time I let go of the hurt is when I've detached myself from the person that has hurt me...and when they try to get back into my life, all the hurt comes back and I feel the need to bite back again. It just doesn't sound like its forgiveness...

I can only cope with the hurt when I've taken that person out of my life for good. And being a pisces moon, I'm so sensitive its unbelievable. But the minute I get hurt, i am on a mission to get even and i dont care who I hurt in the process, as long as in the end I'm hurting that person that hurt me...im sick of it.

and ur right...I'm not anywhere ready...*

I know how you feel. Even if you continued in the relationship it would have probably started back at square one. That's how I am at-least.

I agree with justSophs that you shouldn't compromise what you feel.

I've noticed that people "think" or like to pretend they are forgiving someone, but really we can all take around the same time to really forgive if hurt. Just because you've removed yourself from the situation makes it no worse than staying in it still hurt then later exploding and letting all of your "real" feelings out, or staying and getting revenge behind that persons back. People don't move on from things and forgive how you'd think, so your method is removing yourself or getting even, and not hurting him or yourself even more in the long-run. You couldn't get past it for a reason, so just trust yourself.

Posted by Chance11
that's a cap trait? i thought it was my aries moon trying to piss me off again 🙂


also, as saturn ruled peeps we should always remember to be patient as it favors us..sometimes the best course of action is to do nothing as all is revealed in time..most things are momentary

Thought you had a Libra moon, for some reason.

Naw, your moon conjucts my Venus 🙂

🙂


I just learned myself 😛

It's definitely a learning process hey...
You were right Sophs...I was simply not ready to forgive...
The thing is, there's this pressure to always be good,kind,considerate...so when I'm angry with someone, not only do I feel disappointed in them for letting me down...but I feel disappointed in myself for being mad at them...it's the weirdest thing.

Lnana,I did learn though, that getting all the anger out help a lot...especially if it's towards the person who caused you the pain. It was hilarious now that I think about it, me in a coffee shop shouting my lungs out at him and everybody staring in our direction like what the heck lol but yeah...I got it all out. Which really helped because half of what I felt, he didn't know about...and we always expect people to be mind readers, but the minute I let him know how I felt, which really hurt him too because I was flipping harsh...he took the burden off my shoulders, and I felt a lot better.

It's the first time I'm still with a guy that had hurt me. All the other times I just kept running...because breaking up with them seemed easier than staying and working through it. It feels nice to know that I am capable of forgiving, and staying to confront the problem. First time for everything 🙂

Which we then hold against them. (sorry. expected you to be mind readers)

lol ^^ seriously??

^^^ u talk alot huh...? And I get what you mean about thinking about something for a while and then it really starts to bug you...

Posted by 1urbanicblue
It's very hard to forgive. it takes time. It's interesting because, in a close family relationship, my sun-cap family forgives MUCH easier- it's like they know your faults, so they forgive. Sure, they're pissed at other family members, but it's short-lived, and they still love ya. However, since a love relationship comes with "conditional" love, (family is unconditional) there are steps to go through.

Why do people always think that love cannot be unconditional for a love relationship? A love relationship should be they become your family and it shall be unconditional. People these days prefer to go the easy way out, that is if things are not working out in a relationship, theres a choice to leave rather than deal with it. Of course the other party must be willing to work things out.

Posted by spritescream

Posted by 1urbanicblue
It's very hard to forgive. it takes time. It's interesting because, in a close family relationship, my sun-cap family forgives MUCH easier- it's like they know your faults, so they forgive. Sure, they're pissed at other family members, but it's short-lived, and they still love ya. However, since a love relationship comes with "conditional" love, (family is unconditional) there are steps to go through.

Why do people always think that love cannot be unconditional for a love relationship? A love relationship should be they become your family and it shall be unconditional. People these days prefer to go the easy way out, that is if things are not working out in a relationship, theres a choice to leave rather than deal with it. Of course the other party must be willing to work things out.

click to expand

Totally agree with spritescream.

Forgiveness will set you free. Until you learn how to forgive, you can never rid yourself of bitterness and anger. Sure we don't always forget, that would be foolish. But ask yourself, have you ever been unforgiven? Where you wrong or have you ever wronged someone? You can choose to move on and still find forgiveness or you can choose to learn how to find forgiveness in your heart for those you love.

Posted by leilaxxlovez
Why is it so hard for us to forgive...? Dated aqua and it was the closest thing to perfect that I knew...but the one time he messed up, I just couldn't look past it. Even though I still care, the fact that he hurt me cancels out everything. I couldn't bring myself to open up again...it's like I completely shut off, and him being sorry for it didn't matter. I wana be able to forgive, because in the long run...everybody is gonna hurt me @ some point, and I need to be able to look past it because having them in my life means everything. But I don't know where to begin. All I focus on is the hurt, and I have this immense desire to strike back. I broke up with him so I could hurt him back...there's a voice in my head telling me 'he deserved it, and now ur even'. Before I did it, I had sleepless nights just thinking about it all...now I sleep like a baby. What is it that makes caps so sensitive?


Why can't we forgive—

You keep posting this insightful stuff, I tell ya. I don't know what happened in your particular case of course, but it helps to know (in terms of relating this to my own personal situation) you as a Capricorn (you are, right?) at least think about the concept of forgiveness and how to incorporate it into your life. Three (almost four) years and counting, and I'm still waiting for a Capricorn male to forgive me for something I had no control over! I won't get into details, but trust me, it made no sense at all for him to resent me. Worst of all, he didn't even say anything, he just went silent. We had a great friendship and I miss it.

In that spirit, despite not being a Capricorn and not knowing the venus or moon sign of the Capricorn I mentioned in the last post, my venus is in Aries and my moon in Gemini. I'll admit those two things aren't always good omens...

Ive been told Im "too forgiving"..& admittedly I am. Unable to hold a grudge for the life of me. Just don't see the point in doing so...BTW Cap Sun, Taurus Moon, Aquarius Venus, Sag Asc

Posted by extempjunk

Posted by leilaxxlovez
Why is it so hard for us to forgive...? Dated aqua and it was the closest thing to perfect that I knew...but the one time he messed up, I just couldn't look past it. Even though I still care, the fact that he hurt me cancels out everything. I couldn't bring myself to open up again...it's like I completely shut off, and him being sorry for it didn't matter. I wana be able to forgive, because in the long run...everybody is gonna hurt me @ some point, and I need to be able to look past it because having them in my life means everything. But I don't know where to begin. All I focus on is the hurt, and I have this immense desire to strike back. I broke up with him so I could hurt him back...there's a voice in my head telling me 'he deserved it, and now ur even'. Before I did it, I had sleepless nights just thinking about it all...now I sleep like a baby. What is it that makes caps so sensitive?


Why can't we forgive—

You keep posting this insightful stuff, I tell ya. I don't know what happened in your particular case of course, but it helps to know (in terms of relating this to my own personal situation) you as a Capricorn (you are, right?) at least think about the concept of forgiveness and how to incorporate it into your life. Three (almost four) years and counting, and I'm still waiting for a Capricorn male to forgive me for something I had no control over! I won't get into details, but trust me, it made no sense at all for him to resent me. Worst of all, he didn't even say anything, he just went silent. We had a great friendship and I miss it.

click to expand

awww so sorry I didn't see this sooner. Yeah I am cap. And I can relate to your cap feind holding a grudge for that long...but the one thing I noticed, i the hurt gets better with time, and if he knows ur truly sorry he'll forgive u. But @ the same time, when I would hold a grude for so long, it would be because a part of me could not forgive myself for holding the grudge. Its twisted like that.