Frozen
This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by cappysweetie on Wednesday, May 24, 2006 and has 18 replies.
Okay, I made some observations for the past two weeks . I only lightly participated in the discussions because I wanted to focus more on what every one else. I have a series of questions, based on my observations ? yes they are vague but there is a point to my madness .......
Being so consumed with hate and regret , is it possible to become excessively cold towards your own emotions along with others? If a person?s emotions are FROZEN, can their heart ever be open again? Can life ever truly be what you want it to be .....if their heart?s NOT open? Some may consider people who are FROZEN as strong, but are they really just broken?
What could melt the ice built around a jaded heart? Could a person cause the meltdown ? Or will he or she only aid in the process? Could this person hold the key?
Being so consumed with hate and regret , is it possible to become excessively cold towards your own emotions along with others? If a person?s emotions are FROZEN, can their heart ever be open again? Can life ever truly be what you want it to be .....if their heart?s NOT open? Some may consider people who are FROZEN as strong, but are they really just broken?
What could melt the ice built around a jaded heart? Could a person cause the meltdown ? Or will he or she only aid in the process? Could this person hold the key?
The thread is very difficult to answer. This is why posted on the cappie board because we are usually very good at analyzing.
For two weeks, I have observed people in certain conversations ... this is where I gathered the data now I' trying to prove my own hypothesis correct. I won't reveal whatit is until I get enough opinions.
Alrighty, it is important that I get many prospectives on these questions ... I just hope they are not too deep for others to comprehend. It require thinking ....
Maybe I should try the aqua board but they aren't geared towards intra and inter-personal situations ..............
In addition ...
So once a person is frozen, will there always be permanant scarring around his/her heart? Well, I have another question for you ... could those scars be reminders but also hold special meaning -- such as you can be reminded of the love you lost but also of the love you've gained? As a result, if that person melts the ice around your heart ... the emotions could be stronger? However, this can only occur if you allow your heart to flourish after the meltdown?
So once a person is frozen, will there always be permanant scarring around his/her heart? Well, I have another question for you ... could those scars be reminders but also hold special meaning -- such as you can be reminded of the love you lost but also of the love you've gained? As a result, if that person melts the ice around your heart ... the emotions could be stronger? However, this can only occur if you allow your heart to flourish after the meltdown?
"I think it takes time for the walls to 'melt' but they do *I hope*. And one certainly does become more cautious but yeah...I'll probably never go into any relationship w/out some mental safety net keeping me from ever feeling so much that I would get hurt like that again."
Thank you Leowithcap,
Your input has answered two of the questions >
So you beleive that you will always be cautious even when you have an understanding that you really have no reason to be ... it's just that fear of something happening and not wanting to ever feel pain again.
The scars on your heart will always be a remainder to you so You won't let anyone ever hurt you again. Understandable, it's all documented
Thank you!
Thank you Leowithcap,
Your input has answered two of the questions >
So you beleive that you will always be cautious even when you have an understanding that you really have no reason to be ... it's just that fear of something happening and not wanting to ever feel pain again.
The scars on your heart will always be a remainder to you so You won't let anyone ever hurt you again. Understandable, it's all documented
Thank you!Well considering that it would be emotions of hate and regret...they would be expressing their emotions by being cold. Because Hate and Regret is purely emotional, and it ranges based on the individual...If the person chooses to be cold, it's because their brain finds good emotions as BAD and tries to avoid it..."
Well, in my observations people blame their feelings of hate and/or regret on the ones that they believed made them the way they are. What you are saying is that it is a choice factor and that no can change someone to be a certain way -- it is all left up to the individual.
"I do not believe emotions can be FROZEN...sounds a bit far fetched...considering emotions are part of human nature..."
Actually DB, this is the first time we have to disagree. It's true that a person can frozen their emotions but in an indirect way. No one's a robot, we all know that. But people can sort of put themselves in a "mechnical state" haha, let me explain People can use certain substances to help numb their feelings or they can use their imaginations to create false perceptions or they can choose not to deal with anything -- "out of sight, out of mind."
"I person has a choice to love again, if he or she chooses...it's a matter of whether or not there is still a feeling or desire to love someone...and I believe this is the KEY! It has to be there already...just hidden under the wall of emotional defense...so in many cases..."
YES! You have answered one part of my hypothesis, I believe that a feeling or desire to love someone is the only KEY! Most people think that they are the ones who can mend a broken heart BUT that's just not the case. It's all left up to the person who is FROZEN. However, an outsider can melt START melting the ice but after the ice is all gone ... the heart has to do it OWN healing.
Well, in my observations people blame their feelings of hate and/or regret on the ones that they believed made them the way they are. What you are saying is that it is a choice factor and that no can change someone to be a certain way -- it is all left up to the individual.
"I do not believe emotions can be FROZEN...sounds a bit far fetched...considering emotions are part of human nature..."
Actually DB, this is the first time we have to disagree. It's true that a person can frozen their emotions but in an indirect way. No one's a robot, we all know that. But people can sort of put themselves in a "mechnical state" haha, let me explain
People can use certain substances to help numb their feelings or they can use their imaginations to create false perceptions or they can choose not to deal with anything -- "out of sight, out of mind.""I person has a choice to love again, if he or she chooses...it's a matter of whether or not there is still a feeling or desire to love someone...and I believe this is the KEY! It has to be there already...just hidden under the wall of emotional defense...so in many cases..."
YES! You have answered one part of my hypothesis, I believe that a feeling or desire to love someone is the only KEY! Most people think that they are the ones who can mend a broken heart BUT that's just not the case. It's all left up to the person who is FROZEN. However, an outsider can melt START melting the ice but after the ice is all gone ... the heart has to do it OWN healing.
"Yes. This is very opinionated...b/c people go by what they think and feel. Life doesn't necessarily have to be about being nice to people and loving them...what if their ambition was wealth...and they found pleasure in success...they would think their life is what they want it to be..."
"No I do not think they are broken...a person who is emotional just looks at them and thinks there is something wrong with them b/c they are not the same as the person...we are not all the same...no they are not broken...I could say that a person extremely emotional and sensitive is broken..."
Point very well taken! You are still fitting my hypothesis!
"As time goes by, everytime you think of it, you feel less...this is a cut healing into a scar....and eventually the scar won't give you pain...it will just be a memory of experience...much like an actual scar."
This is also what I believe. Those who were badly hurt cannot just GET OVER no matter what they do. It will take time.
DB, you know your stuff! You input has proven 3/4 of my hypothesis
"No I do not think they are broken...a person who is emotional just looks at them and thinks there is something wrong with them b/c they are not the same as the person...we are not all the same...no they are not broken...I could say that a person extremely emotional and sensitive is broken..."
Point very well taken! You are still fitting my hypothesis!
"As time goes by, everytime you think of it, you feel less...this is a cut healing into a scar....and eventually the scar won't give you pain...it will just be a memory of experience...much like an actual scar."
This is also what I believe. Those who were badly hurt cannot just GET OVER no matter what they do. It will take time.
DB, you know your stuff! You input has proven 3/4 of my hypothesis
OHHHH Brain Blast!
Unfortunately, most people who are FROZEN, end up being the prime participants in the whole "mind game" saga. This isn't beneficial because it that's a FROZEN person more time to heal if they start playing games ... however most don't realise this until they have gone from relationship to relationship. Then most tend to become depress and they have a very mundane/sober outlook on life.
I'm going to add this to my project!
Unfortunately, most people who are FROZEN, end up being the prime participants in the whole "mind game" saga. This isn't beneficial because it that's a FROZEN person more time to heal if they start playing games ... however most don't realise this until they have gone from relationship to relationship. Then most tend to become depress and they have a very mundane/sober outlook on life.
I'm going to add this to my project!
"I didn't say they didn't blame a specific person...I am talking about feelings...So when they think about love, a thought resurfaces of a time they were hurt and it feels horrible...therefore, they chose to be cold to avoid the feeling attached to the memory..."
Hi DB
Okay, I misunderstood you. I understand where you are coming from. However, you don't believe in my FROZEN theory so I really want to present another opinion on >> but I don't want to confuse you or anyone else.
Hi DB
Okay, I misunderstood you. I understand where you are coming from. However, you don't believe in my FROZEN theory so I really want to present another opinion on >> but I don't want to confuse you or anyone else.Well ..... hold that thought. I can't have you picking apart my hypothesis DB It took me a while to come up with it .... so give me a momemt Mister!
It took me a while to come up with it .... so give me a momemt Mister! Okay, here I go ...
When I previous spoke of the "who holds the key" I was speaking in a physical sense ... not a mental sense. I do agree with you on the mental sense of "the key" being having a desire to love again but you didn't answer my question about a person holding the key to the MELTDOWN of an emotionally FROZEN person. Do you NOT believe another person hold he key to a FROZEN person's heart???? However, I have indicated that I don't believe a person can heal a wounded heart entirely BUT they can be only part of the process.
When I previous spoke of the "who holds the key" I was speaking in a physical sense ... not a mental sense. I do agree with you on the mental sense of "the key" being having a desire to love again but you didn't answer my question about a person holding the key to the MELTDOWN of an emotionally FROZEN person. Do you NOT believe another person hold he key to a FROZEN person's heart???? However, I have indicated that I don't believe a person can heal a wounded heart entirely BUT they can be only part of the process.
Oops! I have to get back to work! But I will be back, I just can't let you pick apart my hypothesis DB, no matter how badly you may want to
I'll Be Back
I'll Be Back
Try to understand whats driving people in you life, why did they do the things that they do.( linda goodman's love sign is a good book)
See if you can manipulate situations using this knowledge,
see if you can take better more informed decisions regarding relationships.
Cappys are not very social people, they tend to aim for perfection but no ones perfect.
take care
See if you can manipulate situations using this knowledge,
see if you can take better more informed decisions regarding relationships.
Cappys are not very social people, they tend to aim for perfection but no ones perfect.
take care
"YES, I do not believe a person holds a key...you only aid...You can water a plant and give it sunlight, but the plant must decide to live and grow..."
Agreed DB, people may like to think that they can BRING someone out of their shell. However, it's up to the individual. A person that's FROZEN may need some guide but after the ice has melted that person has to realize that new begins when you let go of the past and focus on the future. After that realization the scars formed begin to offically heal. However, some scars disappear and others don't -- holding on to pain only makes the scars stay on the surface. When finally let go, the scars are bearly or completely invisible.
Or at least that the way I look at the matter.
Scars along the heart and mind are the most difficult to get rid of. Why? Because wounds that are not of the physical sense linger ....
Your insight was wonderful DB
Agreed DB, people may like to think that they can BRING someone out of their shell. However, it's up to the individual. A person that's FROZEN may need some guide but after the ice has melted that person has to realize that new begins when you let go of the past and focus on the future. After that realization the scars formed begin to offically heal. However, some scars disappear and others don't -- holding on to pain only makes the scars stay on the surface. When finally let go, the scars are bearly or completely invisible.
Or at least that the way I look at the matter.
Scars along the heart and mind are the most difficult to get rid of. Why? Because wounds that are not of the physical sense linger ....
Your insight was wonderful DB
"Good insight and interesting topic cappysweetie ! it's good to have substance subjects to debate on at times."
Thank you jackdoniel And I appreciate your participation! Your thoughts asked some of my questions ...
"You close access to our heart when you don't understand what went on in there when the last person was visited and reality is, what is hurting you, it's not the fact that what happen was hurtful but the fact that what happen was not understood."
"Yes that door can open again and unfroze you heart but only understanding will do that. When you'll understand that people are who they are and do what they do and that everything happens like it should by the laws of nature, it's not that something was wrong with anyone, but that life is just to everyone, you won't get what you wish for, only what you deserve."
Whoa!!! Someone FINALLY stated this!!! When people cannot understsand why somethings has occured, they become shocked ... this is also why people FREEZE there hearts. If the previous conflict wasn't understood then it is impossible to move on. In addition, the scars that are left behind to FOREVER to heal. As a result, people can find themselved aimless when it comes to affairs of the heart.
The was the ideal observation jackdoniel
Thank you jackdoniel
And I appreciate your participation! Your thoughts asked some of my questions ..."You close access to our heart when you don't understand what went on in there when the last person was visited and reality is, what is hurting you, it's not the fact that what happen was hurtful but the fact that what happen was not understood."
"Yes that door can open again and unfroze you heart but only understanding will do that. When you'll understand that people are who they are and do what they do and that everything happens like it should by the laws of nature, it's not that something was wrong with anyone, but that life is just to everyone, you won't get what you wish for, only what you deserve."
Whoa!!! Someone FINALLY stated this!!! When people cannot understsand why somethings has occured, they become shocked ... this is also why people FREEZE there hearts. If the previous conflict wasn't understood then it is impossible to move on. In addition, the scars that are left behind to FOREVER to heal. As a result, people can find themselved aimless when it comes to affairs of the heart.
The was the ideal observation jackdoniel
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