HELP! How to know if Capricorn man is interested in you or is just nice because of his good nature?

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by Roana on Monday, January 9, 2017 and has 36 replies.
I think I created this topic before but I don’t think it got posted (it’s my first day here so I may have missclicked something).

In any case this one will be very long read. But I genuinely have no idea what to do. So let me give you some information so you would see where I am coming from.

I am Pisces, he is Capricorn. We are coworkers, but work in different departments. I am researcher he works in events. So different yet kinda the same work area. He is 4 years older than me (so not by a lot). I am 26 

This whole weird “dancing” is happening for two years now (granted last year he was just out of long term relationship so it was natural that he was figuring out his life again). Also important note his work hours are absolutely crazy as well as he just bought apartment so he is doing all construction work by himself. So he is absolutely busy as hell… Anyhow…

Now I will explain my predicament.

When me and him are together either at work events, or company parties he is like the sweetest person ever. He will run and get me a chair, he will make sure that I always have a drink. During last company party he managed to find me the type of drink I wanted almost in completed darkness. One coworker was heavily hitting on me so as a joke I put my hand on my Capricorns hand (like on the elbow part) and smiling said sorry I will use you as my shield for a bit. He understood that and the moment that coworker would approach he huged me and so on. Later on he basically started doing the same thing even if others would do it. Even though I didn’t asked him to do that. He spend all party with me. He was so “protective” in a good way. That when he and other coworkers decided to go and have a smoke and I said I will go outside for a moment to take in fresh cold air (its very cold in my country during winter) that he refused to let me do it since he said that I will catch a flue. Than finally I said fine I won’t go it’s ok go I will be here, he refused to go himself and stayd with me.

When some coworkers would make friendly jokes that me and him are couple and so on he never let them know that we are not, and I was the one who would say ohh noo noo no we are not.

Moreover, we had some very very sweet and almost romantic moments, but then he would turn very playfull and ruin them by messing up my hair (like you would do to a child) and giggling when I would make faces like really wow really?

After the party I called him to make sure he got home safely (since me and other 3 coworkers live on the same street he knew I will be ok) but he was going home alone. So I called him (it was 3 am by the way) and we talked for good 1 hour until 4 am. He didn’t try to stop conversation and so on, even though he had to go to work tomorrow early in the morning.

I even sayd thank you for spending the party with me and said sorry if because of me he didn’t get a chance to spend time with others or maybe find some girl. To which he answered: “hey if I would have felt bad or bored I would have “disappeared” or removed myself from situation”. Which is sweet but doesn’t directly say hey I LIKE YOU.

Now I thought hey maybe he is just sweet person and acts with all females like that. But no.. My other female coworkers actually think he is kinda cold and even bit cocky (which in my mind seems like complete opposite of what I experience with him).

Damn one time he even did a cartwheel on the stage after the event kinda showing that he can do it (since the dancer during even was doing them). The only people that were in the room was me and my other coworker who is a man and was doing his own thing. Funny enough that day I talked with my other coworker more (before this). So on one hind I think it was his way to impress me, on other hand maybe he was just being playfull and would have done it even if I would have not been there.

Ok so why I am here asking? Well… Like I said when we are face to face or talking on the phone he is amazing. But when we are not it’s like I don’t exist for him. He never calls, or writes first. But if I do he answers and is sweet and tries to carry conversation. When I asked him that maybe he would like to meet outside of the work. He said we will see.

But than once I made a joke that well not to myself never go to your place once you will be done with all the constructions, he made a joke back that shows that no no you should come.

If I flirt with him he asks me further and so on, but he never shows me his true feelings.

I am wondering that maybe he is just being really nice because he respects me and so on. Or maybe he likes me but he thinks that he could find something better.

I am sooo confused. One thing in the past was that I can read people soo fast. 10 min and I can see through them. But with him I can’t. All my relationships ended because I would see through them fast, and would get bored or see qualities that I wouldn’t be able to deal with in a long run. But with him it’s like he is closed book. I am used to being the one who gets calls, or gets texts or gets offers so with him I feel like fish out of the water (no pun intended Big Grin). I don’t know should I continue showing affection or should stop. How to know if I don’t look like creepy obsessed girl?

And now his birthday is coming up, I have perfect gift in mind, something that we joked about and he would never ever expect to actually get from me. But if he doesn’t like me and I will give him that kinda expensive gift he might feel awkward or be creped out.

I am sooo confused… Pleaseeee someone tell me what you think. Do you think he likes me? Or not… I just don’t seem to be able to figure him out…

Also sorry english is not my native language :/ so you will find alot mistakes
*Hugs* Ugh this is tough I am in a similar situation I feel your pain. Lets just invent a cap-o-feelings meter device!
Posted by Capri-sun
It sounds like he likes you and could be interested. Hard to tell for sure.
Ohhh yeahh... I hate this type of unknown... hrrr..... Big Grin
Posted by ladylibra21
*Hugs* Ugh this is tough I am in a similar situation I feel your pain. Lets just invent a cap-o-feelings meter device!
Ohh god that type of device would be a life saver, or at least feelings saver Big Grin "hugs back" hr.....
Have you ever told him how you felt?
Posted by pinkbird03
Have you ever told him how you felt?
I did and he seemed pleased. As well as became even sweeter whenever we would see each other... But his reaction was always more focused on what I said instead of saying what he likes.

Once I told him you know the fact that you tease me and irritate me so much is one of the reasons why I like you so much. And he instead of saying what he thinks he said we should figure out what word is to describe that Big Grin (but like in a cute sweet way). I just don't get it. He is interested I think and yet something is stoping him from doing that one extra step....

Ech...
Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Have you ever told him how you felt?
I did and he seemed pleased. As well as became even sweeter whenever we would see each other... But his reaction was always more focused on what I said instead of saying what he likes.

Once I told him you know the fact that you tease me and irritate me so much is one of the reasons why I like you so much. And he instead of saying what he thinks he said we should figure out what word is to describe that Big Grin (but like in a cute sweet way). I just don't get it. He is interested I think and yet something is stoping him from doing that one extra step....

Ech...
click to expand
Cautious creatures. Mysterious too. I've been trying my best to understand them for awhile.
Sad to say but I still don't think he is. Sounds like a really nice guy and rather friendly but that's about it. You guys aren't even going out on dates or just hanging out alone. Everything you mention revolves around work. The only caveat is that this is at work which always complicates things.

However, 2 years is a long time to be indecisive unless there is another woman in the picture. Have you ever asked him if he was single?

I just don't want to get your hopes up, he sounds like a nice guy. And he is probably just that... a nice guy. I know it's hard to believe but we still do exist lol.
Posted by daron76
Sad to say but I still don't think he is. Sounds like a really nice guy and rather friendly but that's about it. You guys aren't even going out on dates or just hanging out alone. Everything you mention revolves around work. The only caveat is that this is at work which always complicates things.

However, 2 years is a long time to be indecisive unless there is another woman in the picture. Have you ever asked him if he was single?

I just don't want to get your hopes up, he sounds like a nice guy. And he is probably just that... a nice guy. I know it's hard to believe but we still do exist lol.
No there is no other women in the picture smile I know that because he went from very very long term relashionship he didn't want anything serious for a long time. And I am not surprised that there are nice guysI meet alot of them smile But the thing is sometimes the way we talk or the way we flirt really is above and beyond the I am just being nice to you. I just can't understand what is stoping him from making that one little step.
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Have you ever told him how you felt?
I did and he seemed pleased. As well as became even sweeter whenever we would see each other... But his reaction was always more focused on what I said instead of saying what he likes.

Once I told him you know the fact that you tease me and irritate me so much is one of the reasons why I like you so much. And he instead of saying what he thinks he said we should figure out what word is to describe that Big Grin (but like in a cute sweet way). I just don't get it. He is interested I think and yet something is stoping him from doing that one extra step....

Ech...
Cautious creatures. Mysterious too. I've been trying my best to understand them for awhile.
click to expand
Yeah... I know that for the first year he was kinda blocked of from the world in general. Than this year (well last one) he became less causious... Shows extra attention and so on... But sometimes I do feel like he is kinda testing me.. Like he says something and looks for my reaction... I wonder sometimes if because he is so busy with his work and so on he is taking it really slow and just figuring me out little by little. He knows that I am against flings or one time things, so I wonder maybe thats why he is extra cautious. He maybe figuring me out to see if I am person who would be good for him in long term. Because even at work we dont see each other often (like there can be weeks without seeing each other). So when we do see each other he seems very happy. But I always find him kinda evaluating not just when I speak with him but when I speak with other people. And as for some weird universal law there is someone who is from some company and so on showing interest in me. Like once I got flowers from a guy that I didnt even knew, other time guy from some other even planning firm offered me to sit with him and so on. And every time that it happens it's like he lingers next to me more, or tries to talk to me more. I mean he never does that for any other female coworker... So it makes me wonder if he does like me to certain extent... But just not enough...
Aww, he may just be being cautious but he obviously likes you regardless of signs, however where I work there is a cap who behaved very similarly to your friend towards another of my female co-workers and they are now dating, but he has been hurt before, and confided in me a few times before he 'went for it ' with her, she just grabbed him and kissed him one evening out on a works night out, he was confused at first and a little hesitant, but they are taking it steady and both of them seem happy. She is a Libra.He told me once after her kissing him he was out with friends and there were lovely woman all around, but he could only think of her, so wasn't interested in any of them, aww.

You said he became more sweet after you told him how you feel, so perhaps he needs you to be a little more assertive, I hope it works out for you hun, my son is a cap his girlfriend is an Aries, well no messing about there! She wanted him, job done, they've been together 9 years, they are quite well suited with their placements I found out.

Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Have you ever told him how you felt?
I did and he seemed pleased. As well as became even sweeter whenever we would see each other... But his reaction was always more focused on what I said instead of saying what he likes.

Once I told him you know the fact that you tease me and irritate me so much is one of the reasons why I like you so much. And he instead of saying what he thinks he said we should figure out what word is to describe that Big Grin (but like in a cute sweet way). I just don't get it. He is interested I think and yet something is stoping him from doing that one extra step....

Ech...
Cautious creatures. Mysterious too. I've been trying my best to understand them for awhile.
Yeah... I know that for the first year he was kinda blocked of from the world in general. Than this year (well last one) he became less causious... Shows extra attention and so on... But sometimes I do feel like he is kinda testing me.. Like he says something and looks for my reaction... I wonder sometimes if because he is so busy with his work and so on he is taking it really slow and just figuring me out little by little. He knows that I am against flings or one time things, so I wonder maybe thats why he is extra cautious. He maybe figuring me out to see if I am person who would be good for him in long term. Because even at work we dont see each other often (like there can be weeks without seeing each other). So when we do see each other he seems very happy. But I always find him kinda evaluating not just when I speak with him but when I speak with other people. And as for some weird universal law there is someone who is from some company and so on showing interest in me. Like once I got flowers from a guy that I didnt even knew, other time guy from some other even planning firm offered me to sit with him and so on. And every time that it happens it's like he lingers next to me more, or tries to talk to me more. I mean he never does that for any other female coworker... So it makes me wonder if he does like me to certain extent... But just not enough...
click to expand
A lot of us girls on here feel the exact same way. They like us, but not enough to want to commit. It's a struggle. Do you wait it out or do you move on? That's your choice, but not a guarantee he will ever want to date. I also feel like I'm being tested a lot. I think it's their way of understanding how we will handle situations.
Posted by Roana
Posted by daron76
Sad to say but I still don't think he is. Sounds like a really nice guy and rather friendly but that's about it. You guys aren't even going out on dates or just hanging out alone. Everything you mention revolves around work. The only caveat is that this is at work which always complicates things.

However, 2 years is a long time to be indecisive unless there is another woman in the picture. Have you ever asked him if he was single?

I just don't want to get your hopes up, he sounds like a nice guy. And he is probably just that... a nice guy. I know it's hard to believe but we still do exist lol.
No there is no other women in the picture smile I know that because he went from very very long term relashionship he didn't want anything serious for a long time. And I am not surprised that there are nice guysI meet alot of them smile But the thing is sometimes the way we talk or the way we flirt really is above and beyond the I am just being nice to you. I just can't understand what is stoping him from making that one little step.
click to expand
I guess you're right... you've already waited 2 years, what's another 20? Go for it.
Posted by piscespoppy
Aww, he may just be being cautious but he obviously likes you regardless of signs, however where I work there is a cap who behaved very similarly to your friend towards another of my female co-workers and they are now dating, but he has been hurt before, and confided in me a few times before he 'went for it ' with her, she just grabbed him and kissed him one evening out on a works night out, he was confused at first and a little hesitant, but they are taking it steady and both of them seem happy. She is a Libra.He told me once after her kissing him he was out with friends and there were lovely woman all around, but he could only think of her, so wasn't interested in any of them, aww.

You said he became more sweet after you told him how you feel, so perhaps he needs you to be a little more assertive, I hope it works out for you hun, my son is a cap his girlfriend is an Aries, well no messing about there! She wanted him, job done, they've been together 9 years, they are quite well suited with their placements I found out.

Ech... yeah that sounds very very similar... But I have never ever kissed man first, I am the type that shows person that I am interested and so on or kinda "seducing" but I have never actually made that first real step... I already feel like I am steeping out of my own comfort zone with him Big Grin showing that I am interested so directly... God... I don't know how I can be more assertive than just saying hey I like you I would like to meet you outside the work... Big Grin ech... I feel like a teenager
Posted by daron76
Posted by Roana
Posted by daron76
Sad to say but I still don't think he is. Sounds like a really nice guy and rather friendly but that's about it. You guys aren't even going out on dates or just hanging out alone. Everything you mention revolves around work. The only caveat is that this is at work which always complicates things.

However, 2 years is a long time to be indecisive unless there is another woman in the picture. Have you ever asked him if he was single?

I just don't want to get your hopes up, he sounds like a nice guy. And he is probably just that... a nice guy. I know it's hard to believe but we still do exist lol.
No there is no other women in the picture smile I know that because he went from very very long term relashionship he didn't want anything serious for a long time. And I am not surprised that there are nice guysI meet alot of them smile But the thing is sometimes the way we talk or the way we flirt really is above and beyond the I am just being nice to you. I just can't understand what is stoping him from making that one little step.
I guess you're right... you've already waited 2 years, what's another 20? Go for it.
click to expand
Cha cha that made me giggle. Big Grin I didn't actually wait for 2 years... I was in relationship for certain time during that time so I wasn't keeping my life on hold. Big GrinD I am patient but not 20 years patient Big Grin ohhh...god... I just don't know what to do...
Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
I have to agree with daron here.

In your post you have tried explaining why he may not be ready for a relationship yet. I would advice against doing that.

I'm dating a Cap who is really shy. There are a lot of differences between us, which could have made it difficult for him to approach me, but they did not. He was the one to pursue me and the first to declare his feelings.

I can be intimidating for most guys, so the fact that he could be so bold with me, came as a surprise. It's finally made me start believing that if a guy really likes you, he will let you know.

Yeahh I know... that's why it's kinda disheartening... since in the past if guy liked me he let me know with words... But he does all the things that person that likes you would do but than he doesn't say anything directly... And he never ever ever does that to anyone else... even the ones that he works in the same department and I think considers them his friends... And yet still... I just dont get him... like I said it's first person in my life that totally confuses me...
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Have you ever told him how you felt?
I did and he seemed pleased. As well as became even sweeter whenever we would see each other... But his reaction was always more focused on what I said instead of saying what he likes.

Once I told him you know the fact that you tease me and irritate me so much is one of the reasons why I like you so much. And he instead of saying what he thinks he said we should figure out what word is to describe that Big Grin (but like in a cute sweet way). I just don't get it. He is interested I think and yet something is stoping him from doing that one extra step....

Ech...
Cautious creatures. Mysterious too. I've been trying my best to understand them for awhile.
Yeah... I know that for the first year he was kinda blocked of from the world in general. Than this year (well last one) he became less causious... Shows extra attention and so on... But sometimes I do feel like he is kinda testing me.. Like he says something and looks for my reaction... I wonder sometimes if because he is so busy with his work and so on he is taking it really slow and just figuring me out little by little. He knows that I am against flings or one time things, so I wonder maybe thats why he is extra cautious. He maybe figuring me out to see if I am person who would be good for him in long term. Because even at work we dont see each other often (like there can be weeks without seeing each other). So when we do see each other he seems very happy. But I always find him kinda evaluating not just when I speak with him but when I speak with other people. And as for some weird universal law there is someone who is from some company and so on showing interest in me. Like once I got flowers from a guy that I didnt even knew, other time guy from some other even planning firm offered me to sit with him and so on. And every time that it happens it's like he lingers next to me more, or tries to talk to me more. I mean he never does that for any other female coworker... So it makes me wonder if he does like me to certain extent... But just not enough...
A lot of us girls on here feel the exact same way. They like us, but not enough to want to commit. It's a struggle. Do you wait it out or do you move on? That's your choice, but not a guarantee he will ever want to date. I also feel like I'm being tested a lot. I think it's their way of understanding how we will handle situations.
click to expand
Yeah... I hate it... I have never been in situation like that. Usually for me it was : we meet, we become friends, he and I like each other, we have a talk, we are a couple... with him he never says yes or no. even when I said to him that I promise that I will be cool if he will say that he doesnt like me. That I will just move on and remain friends. But even then he didnt say Big Grin Like how person can be so closed about what he feels. At this point I dont care if he likes me or he doesnt like me Big Grin I just need to know.
Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
Posted by daron76
Posted by Roana
Posted by daron76
Sad to say but I still don't think he is. Sounds like a really nice guy and rather friendly but that's about it. You guys aren't even going out on dates or just hanging out alone. Everything you mention revolves around work. The only caveat is that this is at work which always complicates things.

However, 2 years is a long time to be indecisive unless there is another woman in the picture. Have you ever asked him if he was single?

I just don't want to get your hopes up, he sounds like a nice guy. And he is probably just that... a nice guy. I know it's hard to believe but we still do exist lol.
No there is no other women in the picture smile I know that because he went from very very long term relashionship he didn't want anything serious for a long time. And I am not surprised that there are nice guysI meet alot of them smile But the thing is sometimes the way we talk or the way we flirt really is above and beyond the I am just being nice to you. I just can't understand what is stoping him from making that one little step.
I guess you're right... you've already waited 2 years, what's another 20? Go for it.
Ouch! I have been guilty of waiting on an Aries guy for 4yrs during college. He would stare at me everyday during classes and was absolutely crazy about me.

I'm ambidextrous and he started copying that. Everyone on the campus knew he liked me. He told my friends how much he liked me, but he could never approach me. Everytime he tried speaking to me, his face would go red.

After having waited 4yrs, I decided to date a Virgo.

I must say, that was a good learning experience for me.
click to expand
Wow 4 years... that's alot. I don't have that patience Big Grin
Posted by cheekyfaerie
Kinda sounds like you're giving him mixed signals.

You wanted people at the party to think you were together, which he was more than happy to accommodate. Then if people actually mentioned it, you corrected them. Even when you told him you liked him, it sounds like it was done in a coy, non direct way.

Dude may feel like he's being friendzoned.
Well I wanted one person in the party to think that, not all. He decided to act like that with everyone himself. Granted I didn't stoped him... And I did tell him in the past that I like him... I think not in a coy way, this time I just reminded that... Also I offered to meet up outside the work.

But by saying that we are not I thought I am helping him not to feel akward... :/ never thought that I am giving mixed signals like that :/
Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Have you ever told him how you felt?
I did and he seemed pleased. As well as became even sweeter whenever we would see each other... But his reaction was always more focused on what I said instead of saying what he likes.

Once I told him you know the fact that you tease me and irritate me so much is one of the reasons why I like you so much. And he instead of saying what he thinks he said we should figure out what word is to describe that Big Grin (but like in a cute sweet way). I just don't get it. He is interested I think and yet something is stoping him from doing that one extra step....

Ech...
Cautious creatures. Mysterious too. I've been trying my best to understand them for awhile.
Yeah... I know that for the first year he was kinda blocked of from the world in general. Than this year (well last one) he became less causious... Shows extra attention and so on... But sometimes I do feel like he is kinda testing me.. Like he says something and looks for my reaction... I wonder sometimes if because he is so busy with his work and so on he is taking it really slow and just figuring me out little by little. He knows that I am against flings or one time things, so I wonder maybe thats why he is extra cautious. He maybe figuring me out to see if I am person who would be good for him in long term. Because even at work we dont see each other often (like there can be weeks without seeing each other). So when we do see each other he seems very happy. But I always find him kinda evaluating not just when I speak with him but when I speak with other people. And as for some weird universal law there is someone who is from some company and so on showing interest in me. Like once I got flowers from a guy that I didnt even knew, other time guy from some other even planning firm offered me to sit with him and so on. And every time that it happens it's like he lingers next to me more, or tries to talk to me more. I mean he never does that for any other female coworker... So it makes me wonder if he does like me to certain extent... But just not enough...
A lot of us girls on here feel the exact same way. They like us, but not enough to want to commit. It's a struggle. Do you wait it out or do you move on? That's your choice, but not a guarantee he will ever want to date. I also feel like I'm being tested a lot. I think it's their way of understanding how we will handle situations.
Yeah... I hate it... I have never been in situation like that. Usually for me it was : we meet, we become friends, he and I like each other, we have a talk, we are a couple... with him he never says yes or no. even when I said to him that I promise that I will be cool if he will say that he doesnt like me. That I will just move on and remain friends. But even then he didnt say Big Grin Like how person can be so closed about what he feels. At this point I dont care if he likes me or he doesnt like me Big Grin I just need to know.
click to expand
If you need to know, how are you going to find out? What's your plan?

Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Have you ever told him how you felt?
I did and he seemed pleased. As well as became even sweeter whenever we would see each other... But his reaction was always more focused on what I said instead of saying what he likes.

Once I told him you know the fact that you tease me and irritate me so much is one of the reasons why I like you so much. And he instead of saying what he thinks he said we should figure out what word is to describe that Big Grin (but like in a cute sweet way). I just don't get it. He is interested I think and yet something is stoping him from doing that one extra step....

Ech...
Cautious creatures. Mysterious too. I've been trying my best to understand them for awhile.
Yeah... I know that for the first year he was kinda blocked of from the world in general. Than this year (well last one) he became less causious... Shows extra attention and so on... But sometimes I do feel like he is kinda testing me.. Like he says something and looks for my reaction... I wonder sometimes if because he is so busy with his work and so on he is taking it really slow and just figuring me out little by little. He knows that I am against flings or one time things, so I wonder maybe thats why he is extra cautious. He maybe figuring me out to see if I am person who would be good for him in long term. Because even at work we dont see each other often (like there can be weeks without seeing each other). So when we do see each other he seems very happy. But I always find him kinda evaluating not just when I speak with him but when I speak with other people. And as for some weird universal law there is someone who is from some company and so on showing interest in me. Like once I got flowers from a guy that I didnt even knew, other time guy from some other even planning firm offered me to sit with him and so on. And every time that it happens it's like he lingers next to me more, or tries to talk to me more. I mean he never does that for any other female coworker... So it makes me wonder if he does like me to certain extent... But just not enough...
A lot of us girls on here feel the exact same way. They like us, but not enough to want to commit. It's a struggle. Do you wait it out or do you move on? That's your choice, but not a guarantee he will ever want to date. I also feel like I'm being tested a lot. I think it's their way of understanding how we will handle situations.
Yeah... I hate it... I have never been in situation like that. Usually for me it was : we meet, we become friends, he and I like each other, we have a talk, we are a couple... with him he never says yes or no. even when I said to him that I promise that I will be cool if he will say that he doesnt like me. That I will just move on and remain friends. But even then he didnt say Big Grin Like how person can be so closed about what he feels. At this point I dont care if he likes me or he doesnt like me Big Grin I just need to know.
If you need to know, how are you going to find out? What's your plan?

click to expand
UsuallyI would just ask person, but since he is amazing at kinda giving answer while not giving one... I think I will have kidnap him, tie to the chair and get the answers out of him Big GrinD jk jk. I think the only thing that I can try is to try to figure out when he is more or less free from work and to invite him to meet outside the work smile But be more specific not just we should meet, but to say the date and time smile Other than that I have no idea... I don't think I can do anything else... But I would be more than upen to sugestions of what I could do?

Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Have you ever told him how you felt?
I did and he seemed pleased. As well as became even sweeter whenever we would see each other... But his reaction was always more focused on what I said instead of saying what he likes.

Once I told him you know the fact that you tease me and irritate me so much is one of the reasons why I like you so much. And he instead of saying what he thinks he said we should figure out what word is to describe that Big Grin (but like in a cute sweet way). I just don't get it. He is interested I think and yet something is stoping him from doing that one extra step....

Ech...
Cautious creatures. Mysterious too. I've been trying my best to understand them for awhile.
Yeah... I know that for the first year he was kinda blocked of from the world in general. Than this year (well last one) he became less causious... Shows extra attention and so on... But sometimes I do feel like he is kinda testing me.. Like he says something and looks for my reaction... I wonder sometimes if because he is so busy with his work and so on he is taking it really slow and just figuring me out little by little. He knows that I am against flings or one time things, so I wonder maybe thats why he is extra cautious. He maybe figuring me out to see if I am person who would be good for him in long term. Because even at work we dont see each other often (like there can be weeks without seeing each other). So when we do see each other he seems very happy. But I always find him kinda evaluating not just when I speak with him but when I speak with other people. And as for some weird universal law there is someone who is from some company and so on showing interest in me. Like once I got flowers from a guy that I didnt even knew, other time guy from some other even planning firm offered me to sit with him and so on. And every time that it happens it's like he lingers next to me more, or tries to talk to me more. I mean he never does that for any other female coworker... So it makes me wonder if he does like me to certain extent... But just not enough...
A lot of us girls on here feel the exact same way. They like us, but not enough to want to commit. It's a struggle. Do you wait it out or do you move on? That's your choice, but not a guarantee he will ever want to date. I also feel like I'm being tested a lot. I think it's their way of understanding how we will handle situations.
Yeah... I hate it... I have never been in situation like that. Usually for me it was : we meet, we become friends, he and I like each other, we have a talk, we are a couple... with him he never says yes or no. even when I said to him that I promise that I will be cool if he will say that he doesnt like me. That I will just move on and remain friends. But even then he didnt say Big Grin Like how person can be so closed about what he feels. At this point I dont care if he likes me or he doesnt like me Big Grin I just need to know.
If you need to know, how are you going to find out? What's your plan?

UsuallyI would just ask person, but since he is amazing at kinda giving answer while not giving one... I think I will have kidnap him, tie to the chair and get the answers out of him Big GrinD jk jk. I think the only thing that I can try is to try to figure out when he is more or less free from work and to invite him to meet outside the work smile But be more specific not just we should meet, but to say the date and time smile Other than that I have no idea... I don't think I can do anything else... But I would be more than upen to sugestions of what I could do?

click to expand


There comes a point when you're tired of feeling confused and you want answers. That's normal. Don't be afraid to lose him. Say what you need to- your wants and needs. See how he responds and act accordingly.

Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Have you ever told him how you felt?
I did and he seemed pleased. As well as became even sweeter whenever we would see each other... But his reaction was always more focused on what I said instead of saying what he likes.

Once I told him you know the fact that you tease me and irritate me so much is one of the reasons why I like you so much. And he instead of saying what he thinks he said we should figure out what word is to describe that Big Grin (but like in a cute sweet way). I just don't get it. He is interested I think and yet something is stoping him from doing that one extra step....

Ech...
Cautious creatures. Mysterious too. I've been trying my best to understand them for awhile.
Yeah... I know that for the first year he was kinda blocked of from the world in general. Than this year (well last one) he became less causious... Shows extra attention and so on... But sometimes I do feel like he is kinda testing me.. Like he says something and looks for my reaction... I wonder sometimes if because he is so busy with his work and so on he is taking it really slow and just figuring me out little by little. He knows that I am against flings or one time things, so I wonder maybe thats why he is extra cautious. He maybe figuring me out to see if I am person who would be good for him in long term. Because even at work we dont see each other often (like there can be weeks without seeing each other). So when we do see each other he seems very happy. But I always find him kinda evaluating not just when I speak with him but when I speak with other people. And as for some weird universal law there is someone who is from some company and so on showing interest in me. Like once I got flowers from a guy that I didnt even knew, other time guy from some other even planning firm offered me to sit with him and so on. And every time that it happens it's like he lingers next to me more, or tries to talk to me more. I mean he never does that for any other female coworker... So it makes me wonder if he does like me to certain extent... But just not enough...
A lot of us girls on here feel the exact same way. They like us, but not enough to want to commit. It's a struggle. Do you wait it out or do you move on? That's your choice, but not a guarantee he will ever want to date. I also feel like I'm being tested a lot. I think it's their way of understanding how we will handle situations.
Yeah... I hate it... I have never been in situation like that. Usually for me it was : we meet, we become friends, he and I like each other, we have a talk, we are a couple... with him he never says yes or no. even when I said to him that I promise that I will be cool if he will say that he doesnt like me. That I will just move on and remain friends. But even then he didnt say Big Grin Like how person can be so closed about what he feels. At this point I dont care if he likes me or he doesnt like me Big Grin I just need to know.
If you need to know, how are you going to find out? What's your plan?

UsuallyI would just ask person, but since he is amazing at kinda giving answer while not giving one... I think I will have kidnap him, tie to the chair and get the answers out of him Big GrinD jk jk. I think the only thing that I can try is to try to figure out when he is more or less free from work and to invite him to meet outside the work smile But be more specific not just we should meet, but to say the date and time smile Other than that I have no idea... I don't think I can do anything else... But I would be more than upen to sugestions of what I could do?



There comes a point when you're tired of feeling confused and you want answers. That's normal. Don't be afraid to lose him. Say what you need to- your wants and needs. See how he responds and act accordingly.

click to expand
Och... I wish I could just flip something in me and tottaly remove my personal feelings. Because like I said (I think) I have never ever felt like that with any other person... I dont know why he has that effect on me... But you are right it's tiring... It's better to know the truth even if it may be not what I want to hear...
Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
Posted by Roana
Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
Posted by daron76
Posted by Roana
Posted by daron76
Sad to say but I still don't think he is. Sounds like a really nice guy and rather friendly but that's about it. You guys aren't even going out on dates or just hanging out alone. Everything you mention revolves around work. The only caveat is that this is at work which always complicates things.

However, 2 years is a long time to be indecisive unless there is another woman in the picture. Have you ever asked him if he was single?

I just don't want to get your hopes up, he sounds like a nice guy. And he is probably just that... a nice guy. I know it's hard to believe but we still do exist lol.
No there is no other women in the picture smile I know that because he went from very very long term relashionship he didn't want anything serious for a long time. And I am not surprised that there are nice guysI meet alot of them smile But the thing is sometimes the way we talk or the way we flirt really is above and beyond the I am just being nice to you. I just can't understand what is stoping him from making that one little step.
I guess you're right... you've already waited 2 years, what's another 20? Go for it.
Ouch! I have been guilty of waiting on an Aries guy for 4yrs during college. He would stare at me everyday during classes and was absolutely crazy about me.

I'm ambidextrous and he started copying that. Everyone on the campus knew he liked me. He told my friends how much he liked me, but he could never approach me. Everytime he tried speaking to me, his face would go red.

After having waited 4yrs, I decided to date a Virgo.

I must say, that was a good learning experience for me.
Wow 4 years... that's alot. I don't have that patience Big Grin
Yes, 4 years. Lol. Apparently I have lots of patience.

I would not ask anyone to put up with that. It's either meant to be or not.

click to expand
But hey it was unique experience, that teached you something so I guess the time was not completely wasted smile
Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Roana
Posted by pinkbird03
Have you ever told him how you felt?
I did and he seemed pleased. As well as became even sweeter whenever we would see each other... But his reaction was always more focused on what I said instead of saying what he likes.

Once I told him you know the fact that you tease me and irritate me so much is one of the reasons why I like you so much. And he instead of saying what he thinks he said we should figure out what word is to describe that Big Grin (but like in a cute sweet way). I just don't get it. He is interested I think and yet something is stoping him from doing that one extra step....

Ech...
Cautious creatures. Mysterious too. I've been trying my best to understand them for awhile.
Yeah... I know that for the first year he was kinda blocked of from the world in general. Than this year (well last one) he became less causious... Shows extra attention and so on... But sometimes I do feel like he is kinda testing me.. Like he says something and looks for my reaction... I wonder sometimes if because he is so busy with his work and so on he is taking it really slow and just figuring me out little by little. He knows that I am against flings or one time things, so I wonder maybe thats why he is extra cautious. He maybe figuring me out to see if I am person who would be good for him in long term. Because even at work we dont see each other often (like there can be weeks without seeing each other). So when we do see each other he seems very happy. But I always find him kinda evaluating not just when I speak with him but when I speak with other people. And as for some weird universal law there is someone who is from some company and so on showing interest in me. Like once I got flowers from a guy that I didnt even knew, other time guy from some other even planning firm offered me to sit with him and so on. And every time that it happens it's like he lingers next to me more, or tries to talk to me more. I mean he never does that for any other female coworker... So it makes me wonder if he does like me to certain extent... But just not enough...
A lot of us girls on here feel the exact same way. They like us, but not enough to want to commit. It's a struggle. Do you wait it out or do you move on? That's your choice, but not a guarantee he will ever want to date. I also feel like I'm being tested a lot. I think it's their way of understanding how we will handle situations.
Yeah... I hate it... I have never been in situation like that. Usually for me it was : we meet, we become friends, he and I like each other, we have a talk, we are a couple... with him he never says yes or no. even when I said to him that I promise that I will be cool if he will say that he doesnt like me. That I will just move on and remain friends. But even then he didnt say Big Grin Like how person can be so closed about what he feels. At this point I dont care if he likes me or he doesnt like me Big Grin I just need to know.
If you need to know, how are you going to find out? What's your plan?

UsuallyI would just ask person, but since he is amazing at kinda giving answer while not giving one... I think I will have kidnap him, tie to the chair and get the answers out of him Big GrinD jk jk. I think the only thing that I can try is to try to figure out when he is more or less free from work and to invite him to meet outside the work smile But be more specific not just we should meet, but to say the date and time smile Other than that I have no idea... I don't think I can do anything else... But I would be more than upen to sugestions of what I could do?



There comes a point when you're tired of feeling confused and you want answers. That's normal. Don't be afraid to lose him. Say what you need to- your wants and needs. See how he responds and act accordingly.

Och... I wish I could just flip something in me and tottaly remove my personal feelings. Because like I said (I think) I have never ever felt like that with any other person... I dont know why he has that effect on me... But you are right it's tiring... It's better to know the truth even if it may be not what I want to hear...
click to expand
lol that's too funny. I was thinking the same thing. I'd love to turn my feelings off! Put a fuck-you wall up kind of thing. But seriously- Definitely better to know where you stand than to keep guessing and having a false sense of hope. Or the other way around. You could turn into the happiest girl you've ever been. I really hope it's the second theory ?
Posted by SweetLily89
My ex Cappy hid, behind the guise of friendship. At the time I had made it clear that I wasn't emotionally ready for more than that. So, although he would go above and beyond in some ways, he continued play the part of just a really good and supportive friend. It wasn't until I started showing direct interest with him, that he felt like the coast was clear to be more direct towards me. Are you showing interest?
Yes I did showed direct interest smile I even said to him that I like him.
Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
Posted by Roana
Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
Posted by Roana
Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
Posted by daron76
Posted by Roana
Posted by daron76
Sad to say but I still don't think he is. Sounds like a really nice guy and rather friendly but that's about it. You guys aren't even going out on dates or just hanging out alone. Everything you mention revolves around work. The only caveat is that this is at work which always complicates things.

However, 2 years is a long time to be indecisive unless there is another woman in the picture. Have you ever asked him if he was single?

I just don't want to get your hopes up, he sounds like a nice guy. And he is probably just that... a nice guy. I know it's hard to believe but we still do exist lol.
No there is no other women in the picture smile I know that because he went from very very long term relashionship he didn't want anything serious for a long time. And I am not surprised that there are nice guysI meet alot of them smile But the thing is sometimes the way we talk or the way we flirt really is above and beyond the I am just being nice to you. I just can't understand what is stoping him from making that one little step.
I guess you're right... you've already waited 2 years, what's another 20? Go for it.
Ouch! I have been guilty of waiting on an Aries guy for 4yrs during college. He would stare at me everyday during classes and was absolutely crazy about me.

I'm ambidextrous and he started copying that. Everyone on the campus knew he liked me. He told my friends how much he liked me, but he could never approach me. Everytime he tried speaking to me, his face would go red.

After having waited 4yrs, I decided to date a Virgo.

I must say, that was a good learning experience for me.
Wow 4 years... that's alot. I don't have that patience Big Grin
Yes, 4 years. Lol. Apparently I have lots of patience.

I would not ask anyone to put up with that. It's either meant to be or not.

But hey it was unique experience, that teached you something so I guess the time was not completely wasted smile
Haha. I did learn a lot...about guys and most importantly about myself. I could write a book!Laughing

Well, yes you could say our time wasn't wasted. We both believed it was love, it was probably just infatuation. Despite everyone wanting to see us together, it never happened.

We stayed on the university campus 24/7, so we saw each other all the time. Had that not been the case, it would not have dragged on for so long.


click to expand
cha cha maybe you should Big GrinD Och I wonder if I would be working with him every day maybe I would see how it really is. But I guess for now I will just focus on my own stuff and see and try to maybe get him to meet up outside the work Big Grin
Posted by SweetLily89
Posted by Roana
Posted by SweetLily89
My ex Cappy hid, behind the guise of friendship. At the time I had made it clear that I wasn't emotionally ready for more than that. So, although he would go above and beyond in some ways, he continued play the part of just a really good and supportive friend. It wasn't until I started showing direct interest with him, that he felt like the coast was clear to be more direct towards me. Are you showing interest?
Yes I did showed direct interest smile I even said to him that I like him.

Did you just say you like him or did you tell him that you like him as more than a friend? Have you asked him out at all? It doesn't have to be "let's go on a date" ask him if he'd like to meet up for lunch sometime or meet up for coffee or drinks. It sounds like a lot of your time together is at work or work related gatherings.

If all else fails, plant a nice wet one on him.Tell him you just couldn't take it anymore, it may invade that little bubble he has around himself, but that just may be what he needs Big Grin

click to expand
Ohh I did offer him to go for coffee, or for drinks and like I said he would say we could some day and so on Big Grin and when I wanted to be more specific when he would just say that he is really busy. And he knows that I like him as man way above friendship smile I did tell him that and I think the way I act shows him that too. I did kissed him once on the cheek Big Grin but me kissing him on the lips would be going soooooo against my nature. Also not to mention with me not knowing what he feels for me, he might push me away during the kiss that would be horrible Big Grin
Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
Posted by Roana
Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
Posted by Roana
Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
Posted by Roana
Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
Posted by daron76
Posted by Roana
Posted by daron76
Sad to say but I still don't think he is. Sounds like a really nice guy and rather friendly but that's about it. You guys aren't even going out on dates or just hanging out alone. Everything you mention revolves around work. The only caveat is that this is at work which always complicates things.

However, 2 years is a long time to be indecisive unless there is another woman in the picture. Have you ever asked him if he was single?

I just don't want to get your hopes up, he sounds like a nice guy. And he is probably just that... a nice guy. I know it's hard to believe but we still do exist lol.
No there is no other women in the picture smile I know that because he went from very very long term relashionship he didn't want anything serious for a long time. And I am not surprised that there are nice guysI meet alot of them smile But the thing is sometimes the way we talk or the way we flirt really is above and beyond the I am just being nice to you. I just can't understand what is stoping him from making that one little step.
I guess you're right... you've already waited 2 years, what's another 20? Go for it.
Ouch! I have been guilty of waiting on an Aries guy for 4yrs during college. He would stare at me everyday during classes and was absolutely crazy about me.

I'm ambidextrous and he started copying that. Everyone on the campus knew he liked me. He told my friends how much he liked me, but he could never approach me. Everytime he tried speaking to me, his face would go red.

After having waited 4yrs, I decided to date a Virgo.

I must say, that was a good learning experience for me.
Wow 4 years... that's alot. I don't have that patience Big Grin
Yes, 4 years. Lol. Apparently I have lots of patience.

I would not ask anyone to put up with that. It's either meant to be or not.

But hey it was unique experience, that teached you something so I guess the time was not completely wasted smile
Haha. I did learn a lot...about guys and most importantly about myself. I could write a book!Laughing

Well, yes you could say our time wasn't wasted. We both believed it was love, it was probably just infatuation. Despite everyone wanting to see us together, it never happened.

We stayed on the university campus 24/7, so we saw each other all the time. Had that not been the case, it would not have dragged on for so long.


cha cha maybe you should Big GrinD Och I wonder if I would be working with him every day maybe I would see how it really is. But I guess for now I will just focus on my own stuff and see and try to maybe get him to meet up outside the work Big Grin
Sounds like a good idea.

This could turn into a long chase, but as long as you're having fun and not getting too attached... I'd say go for it. smile

Always guard your feelings first.
click to expand
Yes I will try. Not getting too attached might be issue Big Grin but I will need to work on that!
Well so my patience snapped and I wrote this to him: "ech I thought I will tell you this because I just don't want to keep this inside me. I want you to know this (even I am sure you are already aware of this) I really really like you (just as you are. With your annoying qualities, your responsible attitude, your friendly and caring nature and even the fact that I can't understand you). One thing about me that I don't think you knew about is the fact that I pride myself on being able to see through people really fast (even though I rarely show it). But the fact is with you I just don't seem to be able too, which makes me wonder why not... Anyhow it's quite obvious that you don't like me (well at least not in the way that I like you). But even though I realize that I just had to finally say it because I hate carrying those types of things inside me, and since you and I promised to each other to always be open about everything I decided to do it today smile Don't worry you don't have to tell me anything on this topic, because as I said I just needed to finally let those thoughts out. And now I will stop bothering you, have a nice rest you really truly deserved it! "

I thought he will say: " ok "noted" or "thanks for sharing". Or thanks for sharing but you are right I like you as a person and a friend but nothing else".

Instead he wrote this: "Hey Winking so you wouldn't think that I am hiding you I promise to answer you as soon as I will have tiny bit more free time. Because right now I am driving a car and doing some chores."

Big Grin I get the busy part, but I specifically sayd he doesn't need to answer and so on. And if he did wanted to answer he could have just done the things he need and answered then. Why did he needed to send this little message of telling me that I wouldn't think that he is hiding Big Grin

Also it makes me thing that probably he is thinking that he will need to let me down gently Big Grin so he will try to make time for that Big Grin god... suddenly all the courage that I had yesterday is gone... Big Grin god dammit....
Posted by Capri-sun
It's the assumptions you made.

Anyhow it's quite obvious that you don't like me (well at least not in the way that I like you).

Don't worry you don't have to tell me anything on this topic

& to me his comment sounded a bit like there is nothing to see through.

I'm sorry for the confusion...hope things work out for your best interest.
I hope he will say what he wants to Big Grin because I was perfectly ok with him not saying anything, but when he said he will say anything fucked up my mind again.. ech...
Posted by sakuraflowers
Posted by Roana
Well so my patience snapped and I wrote this to him: "ech I thought I will tell you this because I just don't want to keep this inside me. I want you to know this (even I am sure you are already aware of this) I really really like you (just as you are. With your annoying qualities, your responsible attitude, your friendly and caring nature and even the fact that I can't understand you). One thing about me that I don't think you knew about is the fact that I pride myself on being able to see through people really fast (even though I rarely show it). But the fact is with you I just don't seem to be able too, which makes me wonder why not... Anyhow it's quite obvious that you don't like me (well at least not in the way that I like you). But even though I realize that I just had to finally say it because I hate carrying those types of things inside me, and since you and I promised to each other to always be open about everything I decided to do it today smile Don't worry you don't have to tell me anything on this topic, because as I said I just needed to finally let those thoughts out. And now I will stop bothering you, have a nice rest you really truly deserved it! "

I thought he will say: " ok "noted" or "thanks for sharing". Or thanks for sharing but you are right I like you as a person and a friend but nothing else".

Instead he wrote this: "Hey Winking so you wouldn't think that I am hiding you I promise to answer you as soon as I will have tiny bit more free time. Because right now I am driving a car and doing some chores."

Big Grin I get the busy part, but I specifically sayd he doesn't need to answer and so on. And if he did wanted to answer he could have just done the things he need and answered then. Why did he needed to send this little message of telling me that I wouldn't think that he is hiding Big Grin

Also it makes me thing that probably he is thinking that he will need to let me down gently Big Grin so he will try to make time for that Big Grin god... suddenly all the courage that I had yesterday is gone... Big Grin god dammit....
I'm more inclined to think it's the last part as well Sad because I think otherwise, I think he would have tried to ask you out. Sad
click to expand
Yes I think so too smile I just want him to finnaly say it Big Grin because I dont have enough strength to just forget without normal closure
OMG HE DOES LIKE ME! The issue is not me Big Grin So I knew that almost two years ago he ended very long relashionship that he had. But he never told me what happened and so on. So today he finnaly told me that since he is closed off person he never talked about the lows or highs in that relashionship. But the reason why they broke up as well as whole relashionship left huge wound inside him. And he is trying to heal them up, and until he will be done with that they block him from even thinking about any new relashionship. Since he likes me and does care about my well being, getting to close to me would be unfair to me since he wouldn't be able to be normal in a relashionship.

But he said that if he would be in his normal way I would be the girl he would like to date smile

Ohhh... So I guess all in all it ended up better than I excpected, worse than I hoped for Big Grin In any case I will just live my life, me and him will remain friends and we will see who knows maybe in the future I won't be in relashionship and he will be done with healing and we will come together. If not than well it's not ment to be Big Grin

Funny enough his answer made me kinda happy Big Grin I guess just the finnaly knowing part made my heart at ease Big Grin
Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by Roana
OMG HE DOES LIKE ME! The issue is not me Big Grin So I knew that almost two years ago he ended very long relashionship that he had. But he never told me what happened and so on. So today he finnaly told me that since he is closed off person he never talked about the lows or highs in that relashionship. But the reason why they broke up as well as whole relashionship left huge wound inside him. And he is trying to heal them up, and until he will be done with that they block him from even thinking about any new relashionship. Since he likes me and does care about my well being, getting to close to me would be unfair to me since he wouldn't be able to be normal in a relashionship.

But he said that if he would be in his normal way I would be the girl he would like to date smile

Ohhh... So I guess all in all it ended up better than I excpected, worse than I hoped for Big Grin In any case I will just live my life, me and him will remain friends and we will see who knows maybe in the future I won't be in relashionship and he will be done with healing and we will come together. If not than well it's not ment to be Big Grin

Funny enough his answer made me kinda happy Big Grin I guess just the finnaly knowing part made my heart at ease Big Grin


I don't want to bring you down from your high. Hopefully he is being honest with you. It could just be an excuse to let you down easily.

Either way, like you said live your life, if it's meant to be then it will happen.

click to expand
Well I hope for the best smile I have seen him say stuff to people flat out to their faces, so I know he is capable of doing that. Also as weird as that sounds but maybe because of my zodiac sign I am always attracted to people who are broken in some way. And now that makes sense. His relashionship did do a number on him so for some reason I had this huge attraction for him from out of nowhere (obviously later on he started doing stuff that just increased it) but initial attraction was out of nowhere. He wasn't the usual type that I go for smile so this can explain why. I guess I just felt certain need to heal him even though I personaly didn't knew that he needed healing. In any case it is true he might have just said that to let me down gently, but like I said I just needed answer to be able to move on smile even if he would have said I DONT LIKE YOU, I still would be happy since I would no longer need to play out scenarios in my head Big Grin and I guess future will tell the truth.
In any case just wanted to say thank you to everyone who took time and read my post and offered advice. I really really needed it and all of you truly helped me! This is amazing forum and I will hang around Big Grin just because so far people in here seem so genuine!