Help me help a friend
This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by BigGirlPanties on Tuesday, November 13, 2012 and has 7 replies.
My close girlfriend is in pain over something, but isn't ready to talk. She is normally very responsive to my calls/texts, very verbally affectionate, always tells me she loves me and super good natured. Today is shut down. It's nothing to do with me personally, it must be something with her family. Her voice was dead, very sad and very unlike her.
I've known her since high school, though we reconnected 7 years ago. It took about 4-5 years to develop a close relationship. She is very "cap-like" in that regard in letting people in but once she does, you're in for life and she falls in love with you. We've been thick as thieves, and there are few times she isolates, but not like this. Can you look at her chart and tell me what you see that indicates anything noteworthy?
Sun Capricorn 17.43
Moon Pisces 16.05
Mercury Sagittarius 24.31
Venus Sagittarius 24.50
Mars Virgo 25.38
Jupiter Taurus 16.07 R
Saturn Pisces 1.59
Uranus Virgo 14.41 R
Neptune Scorpio 19.30
Pluto Virgo 16.14 R
Lilith Capricorn 10.02
I've known her since high school, though we reconnected 7 years ago. It took about 4-5 years to develop a close relationship. She is very "cap-like" in that regard in letting people in but once she does, you're in for life and she falls in love with you. We've been thick as thieves, and there are few times she isolates, but not like this. Can you look at her chart and tell me what you see that indicates anything noteworthy?
Sun Capricorn 17.43
Moon Pisces 16.05
Mercury Sagittarius 24.31
Venus Sagittarius 24.50
Mars Virgo 25.38
Jupiter Taurus 16.07 R
Saturn Pisces 1.59
Uranus Virgo 14.41 R
Neptune Scorpio 19.30
Pluto Virgo 16.14 R
Lilith Capricorn 10.02
i only know one cap woman and that is my ex mother in law who has become like my own mother over the years. she would become very withdrawn if she was hurt. i remember when my father in law developed senile dementure and couldn't remember who she was...she was obviously in alot of pain over it but insisted on shutting herself away. a very stubborn lady. she had to be literally dragged kicking and screaming back into some kind of social existence by her friends and family. without that intervention, i don't think she would have coped....certainly not after her husband passed away.
like i say, the only cap woman i know but she seems to draw strength from those close to her but will NEVER be the one to ask for that support. i used to barge into her apartment, tell her to get her coat on cos i was taking her out...or tell her to dig out all the love letters she exchanged with her husband in the 1940s so that i could remember with her the man he used to be.
it's what we do with people we love isn't it....try and guide them through the darkness to where they can find sunshine. sometimes they don't want to see and so we have to get tough with them and force them to open their eyes to what they're going through so that they can see beyond it to a brighter future.
some people are best left alone. my cap mother-in-law wasn't someone like that at all.
like i say, the only cap woman i know but she seems to draw strength from those close to her but will NEVER be the one to ask for that support. i used to barge into her apartment, tell her to get her coat on cos i was taking her out...or tell her to dig out all the love letters she exchanged with her husband in the 1940s so that i could remember with her the man he used to be.
it's what we do with people we love isn't it....try and guide them through the darkness to where they can find sunshine. sometimes they don't want to see and so we have to get tough with them and force them to open their eyes to what they're going through so that they can see beyond it to a brighter future.
some people are best left alone. my cap mother-in-law wasn't someone like that at all.
thanks Roxi....that sounds like my friend. She once got her feelings hurt by semi-aquaintances at a dinner, she didnt tell me for nearly 4 days. she kept it all inside, but when she finally told me, I could see how hurt she was. It was so internal, and so different for me, cus I always out my pain to a close, trusted friend.
I am scheduled to see her at a regular weekly event, so I hope she attends.
I am scheduled to see her at a regular weekly event, so I hope she attends.
Be there for her. Send her a message like "I love you" or something cute and funny. She probably won't respond, but she'll know you're thinking of her. I get in withdrawn slumps too and once I'm done analyzing, I'll get a plan and come out of it. She may not even realize what's bothering her, but she'll analyze it and make sense of it internally. At least you're not taking it personally (because its not). When she's ready, she'll come around. You sound like a really good, caring friend!
aww thank you, truecap 
I do love her, she has been a beacon of love and light for me during hard pain. I texted her today asking how she was. She just said "ok" but she didnt come to our meeting. Its a spiritual meeting, not work, and normally she feels really great afterwards, so for her not to go is not a good sign.
She texted also that when she is ready she will contact me. This is really something serious. This year she has gone through a serious life/death issue with her dog and other medical issues. She didn't isolate herself then. I'm thinking this is something to do with either her husband...or one of her twin sisters. Maybe illness, or infidelity. I will not push her, I know that won't help. I will wait and hope.
I do love her, she has been a beacon of love and light for me during hard pain. I texted her today asking how she was. She just said "ok" but she didnt come to our meeting. Its a spiritual meeting, not work, and normally she feels really great afterwards, so for her not to go is not a good sign.
She texted also that when she is ready she will contact me. This is really something serious. This year she has gone through a serious life/death issue with her dog and other medical issues. She didn't isolate herself then. I'm thinking this is something to do with either her husband...or one of her twin sisters. Maybe illness, or infidelity. I will not push her, I know that won't help. I will wait and hope.
If I were her, I would want you to make me feel wanted - ask me to go shopping to pick a dress for you, or help you out with an extra concert ticket. At the same time, I would want some alone time too. So just a few hours in the day to help me create happy memories that I can treasure until whatever the pain is, passes.
I may not respond honestly to questions like, 'is something wrong?', or 'can I help?'. But seeing you care, I will come around.
I may not respond honestly to questions like, 'is something wrong?', or 'can I help?'. But seeing you care, I will come around.
She called me yesterday. Said she was coming out of her *cave*. It has something to do with her adult daughter, someone has *hurt her*. and she was livid. She didnt want to give me details yet because it's going to involve a lawyer, but I think I know based on history. She said she knew she'd isolate but told herself it would only be a few days then she'd get up and go back to life. She is very spiritual and doesn't fall into the rabbit hole that often, but when she does, she catches herself. So, all in all, good news.
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