help with this cappy girl!!

I met this wonderful cappy girl in march. we have been contact ever since then, texting over the phone every other night, an hr at least, to maybe 3-4 hrs sometimes. I think we have great chemistry and similar way of thinking (I am a virgo). Till now (oct) we have only met up 4 times of which it wasn't a date per se. Sometimes when i have overseas assignments, my cappy girl will ask me to help her buy things and we meet up to pass it to her. She has told me abt her horrid relationship 5-6 yrs back which left her scarred and didn't have a bf ever since. I have been trying to ask her out on a date or to hang out but she will always try to avoid the question by being dodgy or totally ignoring my invitation altogether. Is she testing me or what? I do know that cappies have this infamous reputation for testing their potential mates but i dunno if i have been friendzoned to start with. It is almost 99% that i am initiating the texting though when she replies, she will open her floodgate of stories and we have a hearty time sharing our day.

Will all cappy girls pls help me?

I like the direct approach so id suggest asking her out. That way youd know if shes interested or not by her answer as well as how she answers. Youll know

Like i said, she will always try to avoid the question by being dodgy (changing topics) and totally ignoring my invitation altogether. Like as if the question never appeared in the chat. If she was busy, she could have kindly declined the invitation and gave me an answer instead of hanging it and leaving it open. Could have been better telling me a lie if she doesn't want to meet up... and I am not clingy coz i know cappies need space. Could have been asking her out once a month since march... but like i said we only met up when i have things to pass to her or she has things that i need from her.

lol @ moist as a snack cake. Cheers, M 🙂

To the OP, the behaviour you describe is not specific to Cap femmes. I have seen it in a variety of sun signs of the feminine persuasion. It sounds like you've been friend zoned, most likely by a Libra moon.

are cappy girls and/or libra moons just happy being everyday chat friends?

any other cappy girl care to comment?

Posted by M
"her horrid relationship 5-6 yrs back which left her scarred and didn't have a bf ever since"
"always try to avoid the question by being dodgy or totally ignoring my invitation altogether"

"Is she testing me or what? I do know that cappies have this infamous reputation for testing their potential mates but... "

^No, test thinking is bad thinking. There's a pattern here and it would be wise to ease up imo. Keep pushing her and it's going to make her uncomfortable, which she's indicating by her behavior. The Cap ladies here can help you figure out what should happen next.

Posted by Diora_Capri
I like the direct approach so id suggest asking her out. That way youd know if shes interested or not by her answer as well as how she answers. Youll know

Fail. Did you not read the post about what transpires? And I'm surprised at you not recognizing those flags...as a woman...regardless of opinion how to proceed.

click to expand

lol allow me to rephrase. I DO like being directness,whether on the gving or receiving end. Though i m of the opinion that shes nt interested because thats what i would do too, i think for his sake,he should ask so he will get it straight frm the horses mouth and wonder no more. Not to mention fair. That way,as a cap,i wont have to play hide n seek w you and i may even accept and respect u as a friend

Yes, Capricorn girls like everyday chat friends. We are both direct at times and can also accept directness from others. It helps us know where we stand, and we like that. Have you ever steered these conversations to things of a romantic nature? I'm not talking about long discusssion here, but gentle flirting. See how she responds to warm flirts, then if she responds well proceed to direct.

M is correct. Discussing the relationship which has left her horribly scarred is never a great sign. In general, Capricorn girls like the direct approach, but we also appreciate time and effort.

The avoidance could indicate complete disinterest, in which case the direct question may be painful but will save you wasted time and effort in the long run.

Speaking of avoidance, I have been getting letters from the man I was seeing. Now we're talking on the phone again. We have agreed to stay honest and see where things go from here. He may or may not stay in this state. But yes, I'm still seeing him.

To me, it sounds like you just have a friendship.
From what she told you, maybe she is not ready for a relationship with anyone.

Have you ever asked her how she feels about you? Maybe that would clear up the confusion you feel.

If she is avoiding when you ask her out, I would take that as a clear signal, but if you want to know for sure, I would be direct and ask, "Hey, why are you avoiding this? Am I misreading our relationship?"

I've got several thoughts on this and I don't want to confuse you, but there are things to consider and figure out. It's like puzzle, finding the root issue to get to the solution.

I think she's just scared. If you were friend-zoned, she would come up with excuses. It seems she's got more like an 'if I ignore it, it didn't happen' attitude. I wouldn't rule out friend zone, but I think it would be more obvious. She said she hasn't had a boyfriend in 5-6 years, so she's afraid to be vulnerable and get hurt and it's easier to avoid than to face the fears.

You need to build the friendship, establish trust. Allow her to get to know your character and give her a chance to observe your actions to see for herself that your intentions ring true. She should also be able to witness that you are dependable, reliable, trustworthy, honorable, respected, etc - all those traits cappys hold dear.

It's not a test. If it were a test, she would be doing the push/pull thing, setting you up to observe your responses and more or so leading you on. She's not doing that.

Worse case scenario, is she isn't interested and just using you to get you to purchase things for her. This is a possibility and is the negative side of an unevolved capricorn. Only you know her character and whether this is going on or not.

So be more open when you have conversations with her. No, it's not easy for a virgo, but that is the only way she will be able to get to know the real you. Let her know your dreams, your fears, your favorites, your thoughts on current events, your observations of your environment and the world around you, your sense of humor, what your childhood was like, etc.. Try to direct text messages in those areas. Don't force it, but you're going to have to take a personal risk.

Once she feels comfortable with your personality, then try to organize non-date stuff. Outings with a group, a shop you want to go to, something you need help with, visit a flea market - make sure she knows its not a date.

Gradually, build a base for friendship. Caps like friendship first. She needs to be able to trust you. Eventually things can evolve.

Warning: It will be slow and you must be patient. She will be frustrating, but she needs to know you'd be in it for the long haul and that you'll love her for her, all her flaws included. It won't be easy.

Then, if she doesn't start coming around, I'd keep the friendship and move on. She might be too scarred to ever be a good p

Posted by capgirl69
To me, it sounds like you just have a friendship.
From what she told you, maybe she is not ready for a relationship with anyone.

Have you ever asked her how she feels about you? Maybe that would clear up the confusion you feel.

If she is avoiding when you ask her out, I would take that as a clear signal, but if you want to know for sure, I would be direct and ask, "Hey, why are you avoiding this? Am I misreading our relationship?"

This too. Just ask her why she avoids. Could save you some time from what I was talking about.

Well, I got cut off...

I was trying to say she might be too scarred to be a good partner. But only you know her character and whether she is worth all the effort.