How do you Cap gals express interest in someone?

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by Crabra on Thursday, January 19, 2017 and has 35 replies.
Title says it all. As a sign that generally gives off the impression of not being outwardly emotional, a little distant, and not the most affectionate, I am curious as to what you do, or don't do in terms of your demeanor towards someone you're into. Also feel free to post your Mars and Moon placements.


Enlighten this airy crab smile
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Posted by littlenanobyte
As a cap moon ruling my emotions supposedly, I could be qualified to answer...?



My answer: I don'tLaughing


Any lady Cap is qualified to answer smile


And your answer is exactly what I'm guessing most of them doLaughing


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Posted by Capri-sun
Oh sorry just reread.


I express interest verbally or by making time to spend with you.


Yup, just if you're interested. I'd imagine or hope that once in the courting stage, some of you guys open up a little bit more like you described in your first post?


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Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
Posted by Crabra
I am curious as to what you do, or don't do in terms of your demeanor towards someone you're into.
Demeanour-wise you will not notice anything, I'm afraid.Laughing


Moon Sagittarius & Mars Pisces.
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Yup, that is the overall impression I get, basically saying, "If I'm into you, you won't even know I am" lol


It's a bit confounding to be honest, but I have next to no Earth in my chart so the grounded, patient ways of a Cap that allows them to feel out a person for the longest time is such a foreign concept. It makes me wonder though, have you ever lost an interest to someone else because they had no clue you were into them, and you waited too long for something to happen?


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Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
I can be friendly with a lot of people, but liking someone romantically is a little difficult.


The nature of my conversions with you is the biggest indicator of my attraction.


If I'm interested into you, our conversations will mostly revolve around our life experiences.


I will try to figure you out. You can expect a lot of personal questions. I will also remember everything you ever told me. I want to know what makes you tick.




This energy sounds very Scorpionic. That is why I also asked for Mars and Moon signs. Big Grin


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Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
Posted by Crabra
Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
I can be friendly with a lot of people, but liking someone romantically is a little difficult.


The nature of my conversions with you is the biggest indicator of my attraction.


If I'm interested into you, our conversations will mostly revolve around our life experiences.


I will try to figure you out. You can expect a lot of personal questions. I will also remember everything you ever told me. I want to know what makes you tick.




This energy sounds very Scorpionic. That is why I also asked for Mars and Moon signs. Big Grin


Lol. Really? I never knew.


I am Scorpio dominant and my chart is mostly water and earth. So, you're quite accurate in your observations. Big Grin

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Woot! Always nice to hit a bullseye. But yeah, I could sense the intensity through your words alone. Very passionate, and very Scorpio. Makes sense that it's your dominant. smile
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I kind of don't express interest.


I leave it all up to the guy, which has gotten me no where, ill admit, but i guess the biggest way to tell I have interest is that I'll smile with a sparkle in my eye lol, but really... I kind if light up.


The other way to tell is I'll avoid you.


It all depends on the person and what my emotions want to do that day.
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Posted by lnana04
I kind of don't express interest.


I leave it all up to the guy, which has gotten me no where, ill admit, but i guess the biggest way to tell I have interest is that I'll smile with a sparkle in my eye lol, but really... I kind if light up.


The other way to tell is I'll avoid you.


It all depends on the person and what my emotions want to do that day.


Thank you! That is actually pretty insightful. It tells me that when that interest is around you are no different on the outside, but on the inside you are all over the place. It's amazing how you can maintain that kind of composure. As unyielding as the Earth you are!


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@CAPRILICIOUS and @Evoxxxscorpio


Don't worry about it. I already had the impression that Cap gals express interest by not showing it, and the on-topic responses pretty much were what I expected. I guess I just needed two or three reassurances to slap a confirmation tag on it.


However, even the Earth itself has cracks that things seep through. If you gals want to keep things on topic, why don't you tell me what you don't want those you are interested in you to know. That is what I'm after.


I'm a Cancer, if ANY kind of emotional vibe seeps through I will pick up on it, so tell me; what seeps through the cracks? I know that can be uncomfortable to disclose, but know that I am not fooled and I am inclined to believe that with a Capricorn woman, less is often more. IOW showing blatant disinterest (barring genuine annoyance of the person) is actual interest in the person. Again though, I know this already. What I am looking for is that which breaks your defenses and you are helpless to say or do something that DOES show interest, leaving you with nothing to say but, "OMG! Please don't notice! Please don't notice!!" No matter how small or grand.
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Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by Crabra
Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
I can be friendly with a lot of people, but liking someone romantically is a little difficult.


The nature of my conversions with you is the biggest indicator of my attraction.


If I'm interested into you, our conversations will mostly revolve around our life experiences.


I will try to figure you out. You can expect a lot of personal questions. I will also remember everything you ever told me. I want to know what makes you tick.




This energy sounds very Scorpionic. That is why I also asked for Mars and Moon signs. Big Grin


Describes me fairly well and my moon's in Scorp.


But I'm Aqua Venus. Throws a wrench in things. Guys I'm just being friendly with think I'm interested and the guys I'm interested in need to be hit over the head to realize it.
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This is a common problem with Scorpio. Mars energy brings intensity to the water element. A simple smile from you peeps can leave a lot saying, "Wow! She is so into me!" An Aqua Venus can put that energy in the wrong direction for sure, but more attributed to leaving those you are actually interested in, in the dark or with question marks above their heads at the very least. Then again, those with a lot of Scorpio energy usually have no issues with going after what they want. Or perhaps I should say, capturing their prey?

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@ OP


I use to hide from the person when interested Sad .


I was never able to be normal around someone i was interested in .


Mars - Aquarius

Moon - Sagittarius
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Posted by Capri-sun
Oh sorry just reread.


I express interest verbally or by making time to spend with you.
Capri-sun lovely you look smile


Its nice to see a face to the words that we read smile
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Posted by Crabra
Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
Posted by Crabra
I am curious as to what you do, or don't do in terms of your demeanor towards someone you're into.
Demeanour-wise you will not notice anything, I'm afraid.Laughing


Moon Sagittarius & Mars Pisces.


Yup, that is the overall impression I get, basically saying, "If I'm into you, you won't even know I am" lol


It makes me wonder though, have you ever lost an interest to someone else because they had no clue you were into them, and you waited too long for something to happen?


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Yes


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Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
Posted by Crabra
Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
Posted by Crabra
Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
I can be friendly with a lot of people, but liking someone romantically is a little difficult.


The nature of my conversions with you is the biggest indicator of my attraction.


If I'm interested into you, our conversations will mostly revolve around our life experiences.


I will try to figure you out. You can expect a lot of personal questions. I will also remember everything you ever told me. I want to know what makes you tick.




This energy sounds very Scorpionic. That is why I also asked for Mars and Moon signs. Big Grin


Lol. Really? I never knew.


I am Scorpio dominant and my chart is mostly water and earth. So, you're quite accurate in your observations. Big Grin



Woot! Always nice to hit a bullseye. But yeah, I could sense the intensity through your words alone. Very passionate, and very Scorpio. Makes sense that it's your dominant. smile
Thanks, crabra! smile


I always thought my intensity was a bad thing, but you make it sound good.



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Intensity is never a bad thing smile

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Posted by Crabra
Posted by lnana04
I kind of don't express interest.


I leave it all up to the guy, which has gotten me no where, ill admit, but i guess the biggest way to tell I have interest is that I'll smile with a sparkle in my eye lol, but really... I kind if light up.


The other way to tell is I'll avoid you.


It all depends on the person and what my emotions want to do that day.


Thank you! That is actually pretty insightful. It tells me that when that interest is around you are no different on the outside, but on the inside you are all over the place. It's amazing how you can maintain that kind of composure. As unyielding as the Earth you are!


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Infact when the interest is around we avoid you more ...more than those we avoid other wise Tongue


The composure is to be maintained so that the other person does not see whats happening inside .

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Posted by Crabra


What I am looking for is that which breaks your defenses and you are helpless to say or do something that DOES show interest, leaving you with nothing to say but, "OMG! Please don't notice! Please don't notice!!" No matter how small or grand.


Its the other person(the one we are interested in ) who can break our defence and no one else .
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I find that a strange question - I mean if someone is showing interest in me and I want to reciprocate I will - in the normal ways - if not, I won't - reasons being is that I already know about that person and/or I'm already in a "relationship" - if I am in a relationship I am not interested in anything else ...
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Posted by Capri-sun


If I'm not initiating conversation/ hanging out, more than 10% of the time then it's safe to say that I'm not interested.
I on the other hand like other person to initiate the conversation . I dont initiate ...only rarely i do
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Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by marshmallow
Posted by Capri-sun


If I'm not initiating conversation/ hanging out, more than 10% of the time then it's safe to say that I'm not interested.
I on the other hand like other person to initiate the conversation . I dont initiate ...only rarely i do


I prefer they do as well.


I guess what I mean is if we're already in the courting stage & you're missing for more than 3 days if I'm interested, I'll reach out. If not then I'm indifferent or uninterested. If we're seeing each other already I'm all about wanting to spend time together to continue getting to know you & I'm not much of a talk on the phone person. I prefer in person or text so I have no problem sending a good morning, hey how are you doing, want to grab dinner later type of message to reach out if i haven't heard from him.

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What you are saying is definitely better for a relationship to materialise .


If the scenario is that I am already seeing the person then i become most expressive and an initiator . I have had some bad experience when i reached out , so that made me very cautious . Post that i never initiated or even reached out to someone to show any interest .

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Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by marshmallow
Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by marshmallow
Posted by Capri-sun


If I'm not initiating conversation/ hanging out, more than 10% of the time then it's safe to say that I'm not interested.
I on the other hand like other person to initiate the conversation . I dont initiate ...only rarely i do


I prefer they do as well.


I guess what I mean is if we're already in the courting stage & you're missing for more than 3 days if I'm interested, I'll reach out. If not then I'm indifferent or uninterested. If we're seeing each other already I'm all about wanting to spend time together to continue getting to know you & I'm not much of a talk on the phone person. I prefer in person or text so I have no problem sending a good morning, hey how are you doing, want to grab dinner later type of message to reach out if i haven't heard from him.

What you are saying is definitely better for a relationship to materialise .


If the scenario is that I am already seeing the person then i become most expressive and an initiator . I have had some bad experience when i reached out , so that made me very cautious . Post that i never initiated or even reached out to someone to show any interest .



Same here :/


That's where I am currently. Not initiating anything lbvs

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Thats also fun btw . I later realised i like those guys more who initiate. Some have also managed to generate my interest after their consistency in trying to approach me Big Grin
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I'm technically a Sag, but really a Sag/Cap cusper, and a lot of Cap placements - Rising, Venus, Mars. I present more like a Cap I believe, but have some Sag stuff going on. Anyway, I do not initiate, express interest & most people think I'm don't like them until well ya get to know me, um I get comfortable. Friends or romantically, coworkers etc.


If I'm interested in someone, it's a stare from across the room or a slight mischievous smile. They look, I look away. But that's it. I do not approach. Honestly, I've never really needed to. I get approached by the ones that matter. The ones that pay attention. smile If they catch that sparkle in my eye, while I'm talking to a friend or coworker etc. My mischievous look lol. I do get guys whining that I don't initiate. At this point, in life I try a little ( if you are important). Otherwise, you must get my attention - so why is it necessary to show interest? ? In a relationship, obviously it's different.




let a real man be the man and approach - otherwise ... notta happinn ..
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let a real man be the man and approach - otherwise ... notta happinn ..



Exactly!! Current boyfriend is a Cap. Took him a bit to figure it out. If they are interested, they will approach. They don't actually need to know if you are. They ask. smile






yep !

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I stare/look at them a lot. I accept their invite to go out. I ask them questions and laugh at their jokes. I tell them more personal things. I remember what they said before and follow-up on it. I help them with things. I try to meet them halfway when it comes to communication.


Most of the time though I don't really express interest though...it's hard for me to do so unless I have a strong indication that the guy likes me, or is expressing strong interest. Cause I'm afraid of giving more than I get and seeming too needy.


Scorpio moon, Pisces Venus, and Aquarius mars.


Anyone who can give me some insight into my behaviour pleasee tell me why I feel like there's something wrong with me or maybe I'm really just not into showing interest or not doing anything. Or if it's something to do with fear of rejection or attachment..
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Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by Crabra
Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
I can be friendly with a lot of people, but liking someone romantically is a little difficult.


The nature of my conversions with you is the biggest indicator of my attraction.


If I'm interested into you, our conversations will mostly revolve around our life experiences.


I will try to figure you out. You can expect a lot of personal questions. I will also remember everything you ever told me. I want to know what makes you tick.




This energy sounds very Scorpionic. That is why I also asked for Mars and Moon signs. Big Grin


Describes me fairly well and my moon's in Scorp.


But I'm Aqua Venus. Throws a wrench in things. Guys I'm just being friendly with think I'm interested and the guys I'm interested in need to be hit over the head to realize it.
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My moon is in scorpio too but venus in pisces and this is true for me. I have an easier time being friendly with guys I don't like while I'm more awkward with guys I do..

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Posted by Rindaroo



Exactly!! Current boyfriend is a Cap. Took him a bit to figure it out. If they are interested, they will approach. They don't actually need to know if you are. They ask. smile




I'm a Cancer, approaching without 100% certainty that they're interested is something a lot of us have difficulty with. I think I even read somewhere that one of the hardest things about a Crab/Cap pairing is getting it to take off in the first place. And I can see why if both are keeping their feelings locked away, not to see the light of day.


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Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
what you don't want those you are interested in you to know.


I don't know how to approach this question. Are you asking this in regards to a crush or a serious interest? In case of a crush, there is nothing to hide really. It's only in the latter instance that I would try to hide my true feelings.


I don't want them to know that behind this veneer of composure I'm going through turmoil and chaos. That I'm feeling much more than I'm revealing. That anything they say or do, is making me fall even deeper.


I'm never the one to go looking for love or seek out partners. It always happens when I'm least expecting it. As a result, those emotions strike you when you are not prepared and all mayhem breaks out. But, this is extremely rare. It has happened to me only twice in my life.


What I am looking for is that which breaks your defenses and you are helpless to say or do something that DOES show interest, leaving you with nothing to say but, "OMG! Please don't notice! Please don't notice!!"


When both of you are caught in a situation where your vulnerabilities come out. The factors are always external.


Once that happens, my wall crumbles and people are always taken aback, because they didn't realise I was that sensitive or that I was hiding any emotions.


After that, there's no point hiding your interest or feelings anymore, because the person can see right through you.


I think separating an interest into a "crush" or "serious interest" only complicates things more than they already are. I understand that each can cause totally separate behaviour. Especially if a Cap will flirt with a crush, but totally avoid a serious interest. Let's try to keep things simple and look at things from a purely romantic interest perspective.


So you are aware, there is a lady Cap in this equation, and she is not the type to date casually. I believe she will only date guys she would like to get serious with. I would like to just ask her out, but I'm afraid there are both internal and external factors at play to complicate things (surprise, surprise right?).


I've put myself out there as much as I could whilst avoiding rejection to let her know that I am into her, and over time our conversations have evolved from just being silly with each other, witty sarcasm, and tons of laughter to deeper talks about what makes us tick. We still make each other laugh, but not as much now. If there is anything I am certain of is that we do enjoy each others company, but she never approaches me. 9/10 times I initiate the conversations. We work together though in completely separate departments, but we talk to each other almost every day. If enough time elapses between conversations, one or both of us will mention that it seems like it has been forever since we talked.


As much as I try, I just can't read her. I know she likes me, but whether this is friendship-like, or actual interest I have absolutely no idea. I can't read people I am interested in.


That might provide a little more insight for you.
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Posted by Rindaroo
Posted by Crabra
Posted by Rindaroo



Exactly!! Current boyfriend is a Cap. Took him a bit to figure it out. If they are interested, they will approach. They don't actually need to know if you are. They ask. smile




I'm a Cancer, approaching without 100% certainty that they're interested is something a lot of us have difficulty with. I think I even read somewhere that one of the hardest things about a Crab/Cap pairing is getting it to take off in the first place. And I can see why if both are keeping their feelings locked away, not to see the light of day.


I have dated two cancers & they both pursued me hard. The interesting thing about both the cancers & the Cap is they all wanted to be friends on Facebook first. There they got a feel of who I was and decided they had a lot of interest. Enough to not let me slip away. The Cancers whined about my not initiating & did a lot of "convincing me that they were perfect for me". The Cap & I were more like what you're talking about. Both thought the other wasn't interested. But, there were signs he was paying attention on FB & eventually he decided to find out if I was interested or not. My point? If you are interested, you reach out & find out if she is. If it is important to you that is. If it isn't, then you're willing to let her slip away. It's that simple.



I understand what you're saying, and I wish it really was that simple, but in this mind that I have been blessed/cursed with, nothing is that simple and the last time I followed advice of "either find out if she's interested, or don't" it was disastrous. The sad thing about that, was the disastrous outcome was the only outcome.


It is so often said that the most loving and healthy relationships develop from friendships, and I think that is my only option here. Despite how much I like her, I need to go about life as normal. She might find someone, she might not. I might find someone, or I might not. I'm leaving this one to the stars. If something is meant to happen, it will through the natural course of time.
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Posted by Capri-sun
Have you ever discussed if she would date a coworker in conversation?


No, I'm afraid not. That would be one of several complications, and I probably would also have to ask a few more equally important questions:


- Would you not only date a co-worker, but one who holds a very high position?

- Would you date someone who is good friends with your brother?

- Would you date someone a fair bit older than you?


One thing that has me hit the brakes on everything is she will sometimes say/ask something along the lines, "Would it be weird?" For instance one time she told me she wanted to message me out of the blue on FB when something she saw made her think of me, but felt it would be weird. I responded by telling her she can message me anytime she wants to, and it would never be weird to me. So I know whatever it is she feels is weird is attributed to one of more of the things I mentioned above.


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@Capri-sun


The only time she has messaged me after I told her it was not weird to do so was a couple weeks ago to thank me when I surprised her with her favorite drink from Starbucks for her birthday. However, she was really happy about this, especially when I told her I wanted her to feel special.


Hypothetically, I think I might be the only guy her brother would approve of. He is quite protective of her, but he knows I'm a really good guy. He might oppose it at first just out of reflex, but I know he knows deep down that I would be good to her. He works there as well.


She is 24 and I am 39, so 15 year difference. I honestly don't think this is any bother to her. She knows that I have never been married and I don't have any kids, which not many guys my age can say. There could be a possibility that she might think that I think she is too young?


Funny thing about the high position, is I am the boss of her supervisor, so I don't know if that is better or worse. It definitely isn't an issue for me, but she also doesn't know that it isn't.


I wouldn't say she has dropped her guard, but I have noticed things that she only does with me that she does not do with others. For instance she calls everyone "buddy" or "friend", and we used to refer to each other this way as well, but over the last couple weeks (since her b-day really) she calls me by name now. She likes to show me things on her phone, and has talked about things she feels strongly about. She has mentioned issues she has had with guys she has dated in the past, but I am not sure if she has only told me these things.
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@Capri-sun


Yeah, I have been thinking about just asking her casually to something like coffee or lunch. That way there is none of that anxiety and pressure that comes with an actual first date. I'm pretty sure she would agree to that, and I really wouldn't take it as rejection if she said no, or that she couldn't. Talking to her outside of work would definitely help me gauge her a bit more.


Calling me by name definitely doesn't have to do with my position haha. Half of the people at work despite being in a lower position have all kinds of different names for me. She is actually one of the few that calls me by my actual name.


I think you're right though and I would have to be the one to make the first move. As far as professional goes, she is to an extent, but when I have to keep all departments on overtime she will jokingly tell me her preferred method for killing me is a mace to the skull :p
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Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
@Crabra From everything you have revealed so far, it does appear like she is comfortable with you.


The things you mentioned about being a co-worker in a senior position and the age gap would definitely bother me. But I have some exceptionally strict rules regarding dating. She might not be the same.


I almost got myself into an age gap relationship eighteen months ago. As much as I liked the guy and cared for him, I just thought it was not worth the complications that come with such relationships. Also, equality in a relationship is very important to me.


Anyway, there is no harm in trying. Asking her out casually is a good idea.


You clearly like this girl. I wish you good luck! smile


Age gaps are not an issue for me so long as both are consenting adults. I find that keeping restrictions such as age gaps reduces your overall dating pool, and chances to find love, but increases the chances for disappointment as well. Everything is a double-edged sword when it comes to these things. I'm not the kind of guy that chases younger women. This one in particular caught my interest for several reasons, and she just so happens to be 24. She would have caught the same interest even if she was older than me.


The co-worker thing is really situational, and there are some that I would frown upon. In my position though I have no direct authority over the laborers, and that is where she works. They all have their own managers that they report to, request time off, call in sick etc. I simply have a senior position where the only people above me are my boss and the owners of the company, and since I started off as a laborer, I'm still the same guy they had beer and chicken wings with after hours. We still do that. smile


Yeah, I am really quite fond of her. She has definitely grown on me over time. Thank you!


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Posted by Capri-sun
Lol I think she likes you. smile Keep us posted on how it goes
Will do!
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Posted by Rindaroo
With the things you've revealed I have a few thoughts.


1) she likes you, but friends or more is still a question. Hanging out casually in another environment would be a good thing. It would help to shed more light on the situation.


2) Does dating someone at this type of lower position put you in a dangerous spot? I'm just thinking about sexual harassment laws & thinking you should be careful.


3) I personally don't like to date with a large age gap. It's always been close to my age until a few years ago after my divorce. (I'm older than you are btw) and now I prefer younger guys but no more than 6 or 7 years younger. What I've found is that being in the same life stage is the most important thing. You with no kids, and never married may apply to the life stage thing or not. You need to get to know her better to find out. smile


I say ask her out casually. Grab lunch, or a drink. A no pressure situation.




It is definitely a good idea not to throw caution into the wind, but there isn't a whole lot of risk when it comes to sexual harassment laws and such. Despite the fact that there are already several co-worker couples at my job, you also have to remember that her and I are friends. We've known each other for several years now, and I am also friends with her brothers.


I agree with you about the life stage aspect towards age gaps. Never having been married or having children doesn't necessarily narrow that age gap, but if the opposite were true her and I would definitely be in different stages in our lives. Neither her or I really want kids, and are into a lot of the same things. We're not that far apart despite the years.


I do want to take her to a casual lunch, or to grab some coffee during break, I just need my flippin car to finish being repaired first ><


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I would flirt and probably some physical touching. My Aquarius in Venus makes me unconventional about love but evidently girls eat it up!
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I usually am very interested in the person, will make time to talk talk to them or see them but I will never tell them unless I see that the person isn't getting the hint
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