how on earth do i get him to trust me via email??
This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by capsmitten on Saturday, February 18, 2006 and has 4 replies.
i have been reading your postings about capricorn men and nodding my head all morning! fascinating stuff. it all rings true for me.
i had a brief relationship with a cap man in the UK around 6 years ago when i was 27. i finished it suddenly one day as i couldn't deal with exactly the issues you all talk about. the erratic phone calling. the secrecy, the lack of emotion. i wasn't really sure where i stood in the relationship.
once we were stopped randomly by the police. they asked him if i was his girlfriend and he said yes but he really hesitated. that hurt me very much and from then on, i became really paranoid as i was falling in love with him by then.
everything was on his terms. he could be late but i couldn't. he moved very slowly but criticised me if i did. he came to my parents house yet didn't seem to want me to come to his. yet i saw glimmers of his senuousness and admired and respected his stamina and strength of character more than anyone else i'd ever met (and i meet a lot of people!). i told him this when i broke it off with him and he put his head in his hands and said that he needed to grow up. he seemed genuinely quite shocked that i was finishing it. it was as if he hadn't noticed my paranoia.
6 years and i find i still can't forget him. i think underneath his cool exterior he liked me a lot. he used to surprise me at the beginning with the most off the wall but also well-thought out gifts, which, being quite cookie myself, i appreciated. then however, he would 'disappear' both emotionally and physically for a while. i found this difficult to deal with back then but see now that i should have been more patient. i like space myself, but guess i just need to feel more reassured.
i think he liked my vitality (i'm a gemini), my quirkiness and perhaps even my ambition. we were intellectual equals although i always had the feeling he didn't like me doing better than him. he was very secretive about his work, perhaps because we are in the same field. he 'forgot' to tell me that we had applied to the same company for example, even though after we both had accepted jobs there.
he is very security conscious and we lost contact for ages but i had the fortune to find out his company email recently. i found out he was living in japan, just before i was about to go to on holiday to japan myself. a complete fluke. i asked if he could show me around. he obliged. we seemed to be getting on okay and i was very excited.
then i committed a fatal error. when in japan, i phoned him and left a voicemail to try and fix up the meeting. i said i would call him the next day but the next day, i totally chickened out. i don't know why, i think i was probably scared of his indifference towards me.
i now feel like a total idiot. since getting back to the uk, i emailed him to apologise with a crap excuse which im sure he saw through, but i think i have now lost all his trust! i have had a few replies from him but in true style he never instigates emails. he does work an awful lot and apologises in his mails for not having a lot of time for the personal things in life and that his mails are always shorter than mine however.
what's more, i suddenly find myself as of this week working for the same company that he works for albeit in the UK. my bosses have met him several times (arrgh!) and i guess it is only a matter of time before we meet or bump into each other because we all have to travel regularly to the states and far east.
i don't want to stalk him but i want to let him know how i feel about him in a subtle way. how the devil does one do this in email?
any advice greatly appreciated, especially if you are a capricorn male! how would you like to be pursued, indeed, would you like to be pursued at all? should i tell him that i respect and admire him? shall i seek his advice career wise? he seems to qui
i had a brief relationship with a cap man in the UK around 6 years ago when i was 27. i finished it suddenly one day as i couldn't deal with exactly the issues you all talk about. the erratic phone calling. the secrecy, the lack of emotion. i wasn't really sure where i stood in the relationship.
once we were stopped randomly by the police. they asked him if i was his girlfriend and he said yes but he really hesitated. that hurt me very much and from then on, i became really paranoid as i was falling in love with him by then.
everything was on his terms. he could be late but i couldn't. he moved very slowly but criticised me if i did. he came to my parents house yet didn't seem to want me to come to his. yet i saw glimmers of his senuousness and admired and respected his stamina and strength of character more than anyone else i'd ever met (and i meet a lot of people!). i told him this when i broke it off with him and he put his head in his hands and said that he needed to grow up. he seemed genuinely quite shocked that i was finishing it. it was as if he hadn't noticed my paranoia.
6 years and i find i still can't forget him. i think underneath his cool exterior he liked me a lot. he used to surprise me at the beginning with the most off the wall but also well-thought out gifts, which, being quite cookie myself, i appreciated. then however, he would 'disappear' both emotionally and physically for a while. i found this difficult to deal with back then but see now that i should have been more patient. i like space myself, but guess i just need to feel more reassured.
i think he liked my vitality (i'm a gemini), my quirkiness and perhaps even my ambition. we were intellectual equals although i always had the feeling he didn't like me doing better than him. he was very secretive about his work, perhaps because we are in the same field. he 'forgot' to tell me that we had applied to the same company for example, even though after we both had accepted jobs there.
he is very security conscious and we lost contact for ages but i had the fortune to find out his company email recently. i found out he was living in japan, just before i was about to go to on holiday to japan myself. a complete fluke. i asked if he could show me around. he obliged. we seemed to be getting on okay and i was very excited.
then i committed a fatal error. when in japan, i phoned him and left a voicemail to try and fix up the meeting. i said i would call him the next day but the next day, i totally chickened out. i don't know why, i think i was probably scared of his indifference towards me.
i now feel like a total idiot. since getting back to the uk, i emailed him to apologise with a crap excuse which im sure he saw through, but i think i have now lost all his trust! i have had a few replies from him but in true style he never instigates emails. he does work an awful lot and apologises in his mails for not having a lot of time for the personal things in life and that his mails are always shorter than mine however.
what's more, i suddenly find myself as of this week working for the same company that he works for albeit in the UK. my bosses have met him several times (arrgh!) and i guess it is only a matter of time before we meet or bump into each other because we all have to travel regularly to the states and far east.
i don't want to stalk him but i want to let him know how i feel about him in a subtle way. how the devil does one do this in email?
any advice greatly appreciated, especially if you are a capricorn male! how would you like to be pursued, indeed, would you like to be pursued at all? should i tell him that i respect and admire him? shall i seek his advice career wise? he seems to qui
wow capsmitten,
yes this is the description of a capricorn man to the "T". One thing we have to accept as women is that they will never really change, there may be moments when you 'feel' you have them, that they have completly let you in, but believe me they pull back, close off and act all cool. The good news is that if you think they love you they probably do, they just have an extremely hard time expressing it. I am very straightforward with my cappy boy, I talk to him, its hard or was hard at first but now it feels good, rather than imagine whats happening I came right out and ask...except when he is just being himself, I let those moments pass. Bottom line: what drove you crazy before will not change, you have to change! You have to accept the fact that these guys are a little self-centered, distant, yet deep and caring and that they aren't going to do the worlds greatest job of showing you. if you are still ok with that go for it! My sister had a similar experience and 10 years later he wrote her a letter telling her his cold/hot personality towards her was his greatest mistake...she laughed it off and didn't think for a second to take him back.
Anywho, good luck
yes this is the description of a capricorn man to the "T". One thing we have to accept as women is that they will never really change, there may be moments when you 'feel' you have them, that they have completly let you in, but believe me they pull back, close off and act all cool. The good news is that if you think they love you they probably do, they just have an extremely hard time expressing it. I am very straightforward with my cappy boy, I talk to him, its hard or was hard at first but now it feels good, rather than imagine whats happening I came right out and ask...except when he is just being himself, I let those moments pass. Bottom line: what drove you crazy before will not change, you have to change! You have to accept the fact that these guys are a little self-centered, distant, yet deep and caring and that they aren't going to do the worlds greatest job of showing you. if you are still ok with that go for it! My sister had a similar experience and 10 years later he wrote her a letter telling her his cold/hot personality towards her was his greatest mistake...she laughed it off and didn't think for a second to take him back.
Anywho, good luck
Thanks WhereTo..! Your comments have given me hope. I like the idea of straight talking. I think I'll just keep plugging away at the emails hoping that my soul will bare itself to him naturally. I wear my heart on my sleeve anyway so it shouldn't be too difficult for him to work out 
I do actually like his hot/cold personality, as you describe it! It keeps things fresh and exciting. I may pluck up the courage to tell him when I feel he is being receptive.
I'm glad you're happy with your capman. Let's face it, you don't get too many postings that are complimentary about them usually You sound like a very cool person.
What starsign are you by the way?
Lots of love
Capsmitten of London x
I do actually like his hot/cold personality, as you describe it! It keeps things fresh and exciting. I may pluck up the courage to tell him when I feel he is being receptive.I'm glad you're happy with your capman. Let's face it, you don't get too many postings that are complimentary about them usually
You sound like a very cool person.What starsign are you by the way?
Lots of love
Capsmitten of London x
Thanks, I am a Taurus born on the cusp with gemini with a moon in Aquarius (thank God). I have a couple theories in life and one of them revolves around the fact that life is short, why spend all your time thinking about stuff? Do it! Not only does it take a load off your shoulders, it frees up your mind and grows your self-esteem and confidence.
Don't get me wrong I am not some Chatty Cathy who corners my boy and talks 24/7 about our relationship, far from it...perhaps this is why we get along so well, I respect his need for independence while keeping him close to me...Capricorn men are the dog that barks and growls but really just wants to feel safe, and comfortable with the woman they love...sometimes you have to handfeed them, then grab them tight and hold em, they will relent and suddenly they will be up for hugs all the time...lovely men, they respect a smart, strong lady GO FOR IT!
Don't get me wrong I am not some Chatty Cathy who corners my boy and talks 24/7 about our relationship, far from it...perhaps this is why we get along so well, I respect his need for independence while keeping him close to me...Capricorn men are the dog that barks and growls but really just wants to feel safe, and comfortable with the woman they love...sometimes you have to handfeed them, then grab them tight and hold em, they will relent and suddenly they will be up for hugs all the time...lovely men, they respect a smart, strong lady GO FOR IT!
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