I Hate Being Controlled
This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by cappysweetie on Wednesday, June 18, 2008 and has 21 replies.
Does any one else feel this way?
I like to control myself, but I don't like anyone else having control of me
I like to control myself, but I don't like anyone else having control of me
Probaby most people feel that way .... however, guidance is appreciated.
For a person to point a direction, or avenue in which to think about that perhaps you haven't noticed is available .. wouldn't be considered a form of control from my perspective.
It would depend on how this was presented ....
For a person to point a direction, or avenue in which to think about that perhaps you haven't noticed is available .. wouldn't be considered a form of control from my perspective.
It would depend on how this was presented ....
It would depend on how this was presented ....
Right, I'm just really uncomfortable when I can't control my own emotions -- Good or Bad
Right, I'm just really uncomfortable when I can't control my own emotions -- Good or Bad
Cappysweetie .... there's a difference between emotional control and emotional reaction.
Every human on this planet has emotional reactions when something has been presented to them in which they "feel". That isn't really being out of control .... that's just being a normal person.
However, once a person has analyzed the details of the situation .. it is then our responsibility to ourselves own sanity to then put this situation in which created an emotional reation into perspective so we will no longer wallow in this despair.
Example: Your man tells you that he had lunch with a woman from the office in which you know is his friend, but, you don't trust her because she has a promiscious reputation.
Emotional Reaction: You flip the fuck out, and go off on him = normal response because feelings were injured.
Emotional Control: You later (after recovering from emotional spike) put this into it's proper perspective = your man KNOWS you would have this reaction because you don't trust her, yet, he did it anyway and then told you about it, which means .. he was looking for you to have this kind of reaction = he isn't respecting you = he isn't your man.
Conclusion: You have this filed properly, you know you won't be emotionally controlled by this man = you have gained control of your own feelings.
Every human on this planet has emotional reactions when something has been presented to them in which they "feel". That isn't really being out of control .... that's just being a normal person.
However, once a person has analyzed the details of the situation .. it is then our responsibility to ourselves own sanity to then put this situation in which created an emotional reation into perspective so we will no longer wallow in this despair.
Example: Your man tells you that he had lunch with a woman from the office in which you know is his friend, but, you don't trust her because she has a promiscious reputation.
Emotional Reaction: You flip the fuck out, and go off on him = normal response because feelings were injured.
Emotional Control: You later (after recovering from emotional spike) put this into it's proper perspective = your man KNOWS you would have this reaction because you don't trust her, yet, he did it anyway and then told you about it, which means .. he was looking for you to have this kind of reaction = he isn't respecting you = he isn't your man.
Conclusion: You have this filed properly, you know you won't be emotionally controlled by this man = you have gained control of your own feelings.
In using the same example ... here is what would be considered NOT having emotional control.
Example: Your man tells you that he had lunch with a woman from the office in which you know is his friend, but, you don't trust her because she has a promiscious reputation.
Emotional Reaction: You flip the fuck out, and go off on him = normal response because feelings were injured.
No Emotional Control: You continue to allow yourself to freak out over what this man did to you because you haven't put it into the proper perspective of: any man of mine wouldn't do that to me, so he isn't my man in the first place. An emotional out of control person would be blind to this, and continue to consider him her man, and would feel compelled to constantly berate him and feel resentment towards him for doing what he did, and would throw it up in his face at every turn so you could relish in how terrible you feel = wallowing in misery.
Conclusion: You have not filed this properly, you know not that you have relinquished onto another person the responsibility of nurturing your emotions for you because you've allowed your happiness to be dependent upon a man who would knowingly disrepect you = you are controlled by this man = you have gained no control of your own feelings.
Example: Your man tells you that he had lunch with a woman from the office in which you know is his friend, but, you don't trust her because she has a promiscious reputation.
Emotional Reaction: You flip the fuck out, and go off on him = normal response because feelings were injured.
No Emotional Control: You continue to allow yourself to freak out over what this man did to you because you haven't put it into the proper perspective of: any man of mine wouldn't do that to me, so he isn't my man in the first place. An emotional out of control person would be blind to this, and continue to consider him her man, and would feel compelled to constantly berate him and feel resentment towards him for doing what he did, and would throw it up in his face at every turn so you could relish in how terrible you feel = wallowing in misery.
Conclusion: You have not filed this properly, you know not that you have relinquished onto another person the responsibility of nurturing your emotions for you because you've allowed your happiness to be dependent upon a man who would knowingly disrepect you = you are controlled by this man = you have gained no control of your own feelings.
aqua moon.
To not allow yourself to express during an emotional spike, for fear of being out of emotional control is in essence ..... creating the environment for your emotions to actually be out of control.
Emotional control does NOT come from ignoring them .. if you ignore feelings and do NOT deal with them = NOT having control for they were in this case, never put into perspective to have an understanding for future control.
Emotional control does NOT come from ignoring them .. if you ignore feelings and do NOT deal with them = NOT having control for they were in this case, never put into perspective to have an understanding for future control.
What is the proper way to express emotions?
Aqua moon huh LadyM??? You smarty pants 
Well, you maybe right, lets have a looksee -- since I'm on the cusp, I have to pull up both:
Sun sign: Sagittarius, Moon sign: Aquarius
Zippy, zany, friendly and highly talkative you have a million ideas, endless enthusiasms and a restless life style . You are rather scared of highly committed one-to-one relationships which feel claustrophobic to you. You would much rather be one of the crowd with friends than stuck in a passionate clinch. At times you can be startling or shocking just to see the effect it has on others. A born anarchist at heart you love to rebel and upset the status quo. Being a fire air mix you are inclined to fly too high above life and need to come down to see the dark side at some point. Burning yourself out through exhaustion is a real danger since you rarely give yourself a chance to be grounded or to stay in touch with your feelings , either of which would give you stability and inner strength. You are optimistic in outlook, hugely idealistic though not very realistic. You need a mate who can give you extra long rein because you absolutely must be free to do what suits you. You loathe jealousy or possessiveness in any form and will run at the first sniff of a restriction or a tie that might bind you. Settling long term is difficult since you worry about commitment. But because of your social charm you should have little problem in keeping a constant supply of partners running.
Woody Allen is your type.
Well, you maybe right, lets have a looksee -- since I'm on the cusp, I have to pull up both:
Sun sign: Sagittarius, Moon sign: Aquarius
Zippy, zany, friendly and highly talkative you have a million ideas, endless enthusiasms and a restless life style . You are rather scared of highly committed one-to-one relationships which feel claustrophobic to you. You would much rather be one of the crowd with friends than stuck in a passionate clinch. At times you can be startling or shocking just to see the effect it has on others. A born anarchist at heart you love to rebel and upset the status quo. Being a fire air mix you are inclined to fly too high above life and need to come down to see the dark side at some point. Burning yourself out through exhaustion is a real danger since you rarely give yourself a chance to be grounded or to stay in touch with your feelings , either of which would give you stability and inner strength. You are optimistic in outlook, hugely idealistic though not very realistic. You need a mate who can give you extra long rein because you absolutely must be free to do what suits you. You loathe jealousy or possessiveness in any form and will run at the first sniff of a restriction or a tie that might bind you. Settling long term is difficult since you worry about commitment. But because of your social charm you should have little problem in keeping a constant supply of partners running.
Woody Allen is your type.
Sun sign: Capricorn, Moon sign: Aquarius
An odd mix, you are both highly conventional and rather eccentric. Your social reputation is important to you and yet you can leap off into rather startling activities because you adore shocking companions. Close one-to-one committed relationships are not easy for you and you tend to surround yourself with crowds of friends as a way of avoiding them. Your early life was probably fairly tough so you distrust relationships which put value just on you as a person. You feel you have to achieve to earn acceptance. Being an earth air mix you tend to be cool, rational and unemotional. You examine feelings rather than letting them blossom which can sometimes turn you into an observer rather than a participator in life. Stubbornness is a fault in your emotional life and you can be immensely hard to shift. So you need a lover who is adaptable and can put up with your highly variable whims. They also need to be of unflappable temperament when you set out to be rebellious. Often you put on a show of being outrageous or slightly eccentric just to make others sit up. Though often it means very little. You do mellow through life and become warmer as middle age approaches. A lover with a hint of water to give you more connection to your feelings would help. And perhaps one with a hint of fire to give you more sparkle.
An odd mix, you are both highly conventional and rather eccentric. Your social reputation is important to you and yet you can leap off into rather startling activities because you adore shocking companions. Close one-to-one committed relationships are not easy for you and you tend to surround yourself with crowds of friends as a way of avoiding them. Your early life was probably fairly tough so you distrust relationships which put value just on you as a person. You feel you have to achieve to earn acceptance. Being an earth air mix you tend to be cool, rational and unemotional. You examine feelings rather than letting them blossom which can sometimes turn you into an observer rather than a participator in life. Stubbornness is a fault in your emotional life and you can be immensely hard to shift. So you need a lover who is adaptable and can put up with your highly variable whims. They also need to be of unflappable temperament when you set out to be rebellious. Often you put on a show of being outrageous or slightly eccentric just to make others sit up. Though often it means very little. You do mellow through life and become warmer as middle age approaches. A lover with a hint of water to give you more connection to your feelings would help. And perhaps one with a hint of fire to give you more sparkle.
Every human on this planet has emotional reactions when something has been presented to them in which they "feel". That isn't really being out of control .... that's just being a normal person.
However, once a person has analyzed the details of the situation .. it is then our responsibility to ourselves own sanity to then put this situation in which created an emotional reation into perspective so we will no longer wallow in this despair.
P-Angel, that's probably what I will have to do. I really don't want to be disliked, but maybe that's what I will have to do So I need to put things in perspective and see what it is that I did wrong ...
However, once a person has analyzed the details of the situation .. it is then our responsibility to ourselves own sanity to then put this situation in which created an emotional reation into perspective so we will no longer wallow in this despair.
P-Angel, that's probably what I will have to do. I really don't want to be disliked, but maybe that's what I will have to do
So I need to put things in perspective and see what it is that I did wrong ...i have aqua moon and i am a VERY emotional person and i do not seek control of my emotions.
Gee Weeezz, I have recently discovered that if I DON'T control my emotions, I do some pretty stupid stuff.
Gee Weeezz, I have recently discovered that if I DON'T control my emotions, I do some pretty stupid stuff.
geez if i acutally do not control my emotions, everything on my path would be burn down to ashes ahaha .
Actually!!!
Actually!!!
hellgirl
Exactly!!! I feel like the "hellgirl" right now lol
Exactly!!! I feel like the "hellgirl" right now lol
are you okay cappysweeite?
are you really angry at someone or something?
I'll be okay once I eat and workout
That's what I need to do.
are you really angry at someone or something?
I'll be okay once I eat and workout
That's what I need to do.anyway take it easy and take care okay. anger and stress are bad for you and you love yourself too much to harm yourself right?
I'm just frustrated at he mess I've made that all. If I was just patient, things would be fine but no, I have to do stupid things and now there are problems.
I'm just frustrated at he mess I've made that all. If I was just patient, things would be fine but no, I have to do stupid things and now there are problems.
HEY HEY HEY!!!!
sb and Ms.Pisces ... chill out girls. Calm yourselves.
sb and Ms.Pisces ... chill out girls. Calm yourselves.
That was beautiful.
lol.
I remember when my sister had to wear one of those, I made fun of her for weeks. lol
I remember when my sister had to wear one of those, I made fun of her for weeks. lol
Do what your parents did/do:
"I am very disappointed in you."
"I am very angry at you"
"I hate you"
And say it like you would say:
"Fine sunny weather today, isn't it?"
------------------------------------
damaged by proxy .... we live what we learn .. there will be no other way to sort it out if this is what was taught to the child, and being a child during the psychological damage occuring .. the child associated emotional immaturity of guilt-trips with all emotions = created biasness to cope with getting reamed with guilt.
sb's outlook seems perfectly normal for a person who was damaged by proxy because of her parents guilt-tripping her instead of rationalizing with her .... like parents are supposed to do.
"I am very disappointed in you."
"I am very angry at you"
"I hate you"
And say it like you would say:
"Fine sunny weather today, isn't it?"
------------------------------------
damaged by proxy .... we live what we learn .. there will be no other way to sort it out if this is what was taught to the child, and being a child during the psychological damage occuring .. the child associated emotional immaturity of guilt-trips with all emotions = created biasness to cope with getting reamed with guilt.
sb's outlook seems perfectly normal for a person who was damaged by proxy because of her parents guilt-tripping her instead of rationalizing with her .... like parents are supposed to do.
My place is always dark sb...I've got thick black curtains on my windows. I like it that way.
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