I just found...

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by CapsRule on Tuesday, May 14, 2013 and has 37 replies.
Today I am cleaning my not-so-typical-Cap messy place and came across the RECEIPT from last week's dinner date with my
Cap guy. Based on its location, it must have come out of my purse.
This is so weird! I had ZERO involvement with that transaction, and I certainly didn't empty his pocket contents into
my purse. So how the hell did it get in there?
Has this happened to anyone here? It certainly has never happened to me, and frankly I find it more than a little "odd."
details
This was "make a post about it" worthy...? :/
details
Posted by rockyroadicecream
This was "make a post about it" worthy...? :/


Lessee:
I made the post, didn't I? So obviously, YES. After all, it is MY receipt, MY purse, MY guy, MY relationship, and MY question. And there is no better place to find a congregation of Caps than this forum.
Obviously YOU found it worthy of a response. smile
details
Do you think maybe he stuck it in your purse so you'd know how much he spent on you?
?????
details
Posted by truecap
Do you think maybe he stuck it in your purse so you'd know how much he spent on you?
?????



That was my first thought....
details
IF, it were the case he put it there, then I see four possible reasons:
1. He is trying to impress you
2. He hopes you'll reciprocate on some level
3. He wants you to give up the goods
4. He wants you to feel guilty for being such a glutton Tongue
details
I honestly can't think of any other reason, unless you picked up the receipt by mistake, but I just don't see how that could have happened.
details
Curiosity would kill me. I would have to joke about it next time I saw him just to gauge his reaction.
I can see it now:
You: "You won't believe the weirdest thing I found..."
Him: Deer in the headlights look Confused
details
Posted by truecap
I honestly can't think of any other reason, unless you picked up the receipt by mistake, but I just don't see how that could have happened.




Persactly! And IF you had been there that night, you would know how IMpossible that was.
While he was paying the check up front and talking with the cashier, I was over on the side -- looking at some curios
that were on display in a cabinet. I had NO contact with anything to do with that transaction!
details
Posted by FoxGlove
I get the feeling he may have put it there purposefully. I think all Lildol's guesses are possibilities -- I'm gonna go with "wants you to know how much he spent." Whiiiiiich.... ehhhhhhh. Weird and kinda tacky, I gotta be honest. :/



Agreed. Those are all options.
He is Jewish and obsessed with money. In fact, we have had several discussions about his "mooch" ex-GF. I find myself
in the position of defending myself against bogus "charges" because of HER, and frankly I'm not doing that anymore. He is projecting what she did onto me, which is entirely unfair. At any rate, the fact that I THINK he is CAPABLE of placing it in my purse speaks volumes about my doubts about him at this point.
details
Posted by Metoo
I wouldn't bring it up per se but I would mention again that you had a nice night and a great dinner just in case maybe he was wanting more acknowledgement. My gut tells me it was more about impressing you than anything else.
If it is your style and you feel like you can afford to reciprocate, certainly do so not because you have to but because its a sweet gesture. If not, cook dinner.
I don't know the back story to this guy but if he pulls other things that are red flags and your stating to question him...then screw him cause intuition is never wrong and maybe this was yet another sign.
Think it through but back to the receipt, since u don't really know if u picked it up or it was put there...bringing it up seems silly. He wont like to feel "questioned" that is for SURE.



Well, it's too late and too bad for him because I did bring it up.
I did not question him in any sense: I framed it as "odd" that I found it and merely asked him if he needed the
receipt for his records (the polite thing to do). I am awaiting his reply.
I am all about TRUTH, and I am not going to bite my tongue around this guy any longer. In fact, last night I joked
with him about how he puts everything "on me" (refuses to acknowledge his part of ANYTHING; it's ALL ME). I can
read him like a book but am OK with it. In spite of the good-natured convo, he became defensive and accused me of
being "negative" (even though I was smiling and laughing about it). Then he launched a "joke" about my "dumping him"
and then him "dumping me," then he asked me (as part of the "joke") how I would take it if he dumped me for a "sugar
mama." It was all framed within the joke, but I picked up on the "control" threat. There are 8 guys on standby if he
"dumps" me, ready to help mend my "broken" heart, but I didn't tell him that! Bottom line is that I am onto his game,
and I am sensing that he hates being exposed this way. My intuition is never wrong, and right now it is loudly telling
me to continue to stay on High Alert.
details
Cap on Cap drama...gotta love it lol. Continue to call him out. Its amazing what some of the guys will pull if they think they can get away with it. He's found his match, and if anything he can learn from this experience is to be more aware of his BS. Dont bite your tongue. Be a teacher and teach him about some of his ways.
details
The Tacky Test.
I think she is calling him out on it, by asking if he needs the receipt for his records. Do tell, if/how he responds...
details
There is something very off-putting about the scenario.
details
Posted by CapriLady
The Tacky Test.
I think she is calling him out on it, by asking if he needs the receipt for his records. Do tell, if/how he responds...



He replied, stating that "No, I don't need that for my records. Nobody is going to reimburse me for it. [a reference to
the fact that he has no corporate spending account or is this about me?] I have my bank statement, serving as a reminder to watch my spending. Anyway, I'm glad that you enjoyed the two treats."
He neglected to mention anything about HOW that receipt wound up in my freaking purse!
(He took me out to dinner -- twice. Both were mid-range restaurants. Now it's some BFD, and he has to "watch his spending.")
He neglected to mention anything about HOW that receipt wound up in my freaking purse!
Is his message a huge HINT or am I overreading it? For me it's a coin toss; it could go either way.
details
Posted by BalmyTigress
Posted by Caplove
Posted by CapsRule

Agreed. Those are all options.
He is Jewish and obsessed with money. In fact, we have had several discussions about his "mooch" ex-GF. I find myself
in the position of defending myself against bogus "charges" because of HER, and frankly I'm not doing that anymore. He is projecting what she did onto me, which is entirely unfair. At any rate, the fact that I THINK he is CAPABLE of placing it in my purse speaks volumes about my doubts about him at this point.


Ugh. I dislike it when guys trash talk their exes. It makes me think they'll do the same with me if it doesn't work out.


+1
click to expand



Count me in.
He keeps talking about the REASON that he tells me this stuff: He doesn't want to REPEAT it. See, there's a REASON
for it, ergo it's not "trash talking" (according to him).
I get that; in fact, several years ago (when I would dwell on my wounds/hurts) I used to do the same thing. Now I'm
older and wiser and leave the old relationship baggage where it belongs: buried.
details
My opinion is that he thinks he's spending alot of money on you and that you need to be aware. That being said its extremely tacky to go about letting you know that way! Sounds like because he felt last GF was like that then you must be, even if untrue. Which by the way I HATE when people make you pay for their past lovers transgressions its not fair and shouldn't be tolerated. I hope he can find a more effective way to communicate with you because you deserve that much!
details
Posted by Caplove
Posted by CapsRule

Agreed. Those are all options.
He is Jewish and obsessed with money. In fact, we have had several discussions about his "mooch" ex-GF. I find myself
in the position of defending myself against bogus "charges" because of HER, and frankly I'm not doing that anymore. He is projecting what she did onto me, which is entirely unfair. At any rate, the fact that I THINK he is CAPABLE of placing it in my purse speaks volumes about my doubts about him at this point.


Ugh. I dislike it when guys trash talk their exes. It makes me think they'll do the same with me if it doesn't work out.
click to expand


His "mooch" ex gf probably wasn't really a mooch. He probably willingly paid for dates and she let him. Now, he's talking bad about her. And, you're right, he'd probably talk that way about you too. The only way to combat that is to pick up the tab about every 4th time or cook for him to reciprocate.
details
Posted by CapsRule
Posted by CapriLady
The Tacky Test.
I think she is calling him out on it, by asking if he needs the receipt for his records. Do tell, if/how he responds...



He replied, stating that "No, I don't need that for my records. Nobody is going to reimburse me for it. [a reference to
the fact that he has no corporate spending account or is this about me?] I have my bank statement, serving as a reminder to watch my spending. Anyway, I'm glad that you enjoyed the two treats."
He neglected to mention anything about HOW that receipt wound up in my freaking purse!
(He took me out to dinner -- twice. Both were mid-range restaurants. Now it's some BFD, and he has to "watch his spending.")
He neglected to mention anything about HOW that receipt wound up in my freaking purse!
Is his message a huge HINT or am I overreading it? For me it's a coin toss; it could go either way.
click to expand


I would let it go at this point. He knows you know and it probably won't happen again.
details
Posted by truecap
Posted by Caplove
Posted by CapsRule

Agreed. Those are all options.
He is Jewish and obsessed with money. In fact, we have had several discussions about his "mooch" ex-GF. I find myself
in the position of defending myself against bogus "charges" because of HER, and frankly I'm not doing that anymore. He is projecting what she did onto me, which is entirely unfair. At any rate, the fact that I THINK he is CAPABLE of placing it in my purse speaks volumes about my doubts about him at this point.


Ugh. I dislike it when guys trash talk their exes. It makes me think they'll do the same with me if it doesn't work out.


His "mooch" ex gf probably wasn't really a mooch. He probably willingly paid for dates and she let him. Now, he's talking bad about her. And, you're right, he'd probably talk that way about you too. The only way to combat that is to pick up the tab about every 4th time or cook for him to reciprocate.
click to expand



He says that she had no car and no job when they met, and that after he told her she needed to become self-sufficient she finally moved back in with her parents! TBH that does sound "moochy" to me. That said, I am NOT she and -- as someone bove so wisely stated -- should not be held accountable for what SHE did. Right now I'm a FT student and drawing unemployment, and with a year of school left I am not in any hurry to seek employment. He is pressuring me to get a job! My GPA is a 4.0, and I don't want that to suffer. So, right now I am tuning out his "pressure" but am still highly resentful of this "ghost" crap that he has brought into our "relationship."
details
OK, is this passive-aggressive behavior or what?!
Last night he sent me an e-mail calling me a nickname that I specifically asked him NOT to call me! Parenthetically
he wrote, "You said that I could call you XXX" when he KNOWS that the opposite is true! I hate it and he KNOWS that.
It COULD be a misunderstanding, and normally I would give someone the benefit of the doubt, but NOT this guy!
I am just about fed up with his infantile bullshit!
details
I don't see this lasting, honestly. You seem pretty fed up.
Don't take this in the wrong way, and I'm not belittling you at all, but his antics are quite laughable.
details
he's like a player...but in the corniest of waysWinking
details
He sounds like a major pain in the ass. Next!
details
I hate it period when men refer to their money or how much they spent (unless he's proud he got a good deal or saved by using coupons).
details
Posted by truecap
I don't see this lasting, honestly. You seem pretty fed up.
Don't take this in the wrong way, and I'm not belittling you at all, but his antics are quite laughable.



No offense taken. I am OVER it.
The only reasonS I haven't already "dumped" him are:
1) I need my final grade for his class.
2) I don't want to dump him via e-mail or phone.
AFTER my grade is posted, I will do it.
details
Posted by capgirl69
He sounds like a major pain in the ass. Next!



BINGO! He is history as soon as it's doable. Winking
details
Posted by FoxGlove
Posted by BalmyTigress
Posted by Caplove
Posted by CapsRule




Ugh. I dislike it when guys trash talk their exes. It makes me think they'll do the same with me if it doesn't work out.


+1



Yep, this ^^^ If a guy is trash-talking his exes, and never acknowledges any fault on his side for the demise of his past relationships, that's a big red flag to me. One of the first things I noticed about my husband was that he always spoke kindly of his exes. During, I think it was our third or fourth date -- we were having that conversation -- the "let's talk about our past relationships" conversation -- and I noticed how gentlemanly he was in regard to his exes. And, girls, let me tell you, now that I know ALL the stories, he COULD have trash-talked. One girl told him straight up that if he wasn't making six-figures by the time he was 30, she'd leave him. She also barked (yeah, I said BARKED -- and in, like a dog) outside of his window rather than ring the doorbell. Lol -- but all he said was, "we just weren't right for each other and I hope she finds the one who is." I found that really refreshing and classy.
Another concern I have about the guy in question, here -- if he's making such a big deal about going to a mid-range restaurant, then how will he be when you go somewhere more high-end? Will you ever? I just worry that he'll always be tallying up everything in his head and holding it against you. Sad
click to expand



No, prolly not -- the only time we will ever go to a ***** restaurant is if *I* pay for it, guaranteed.
Unfortunately, I already made the mistake of offering to reciprocate and buy him dinner (a consequence of this "contact via e-mail" bullshit). That will be Fri. night. I will follow through with that, and if my grade is posted by then I will dump him that night. LOL
details
Posted by ellessque
you guys are meanies.
why let this tiny little incident spiral out of control?
you could have turned this into something fun and comical.
the guy obviously has obstacles when dating. we all can see this. why make it worse for him?
you could have passed that receipt back and forth a million times as a joke you can laugh about later. perhaps, stick it in his pocket or slide it in his wallet. Put it in the visor of his car.
Why couldn't you just have fun with it?
Why the automatic "doom and gloom"?



Are you serious or being facetious?
If you will look back at my former posts about this guy, initially I *WAS* laughing! But at this point it's just too much. All the games, competitions, and "obstacles" have grown tiresome. It's no longer fun, and I am no longer attracted. He has not 1 or 2 obstacles but about 3,582. Let someone else put up with them -- and HIM!! I'm outta here.
details
Posted by ellessque
you guys are meanies.
why let this tiny little incident spiral out of control?
you could have turned this into something fun and comical.
the guy obviously has obstacles when dating. we all can see this. why make it worse for him?
you could have passed that receipt back and forth a million times as a joke you can laugh about later. perhaps, stick it in his pocket or slide it in his wallet. Put it in the visor of his car.
Why couldn't you just have fun with it?
Why the automatic "doom and gloom"?



Where do you live?
Do you want him? If so, you can have him! LOL
details
Posted by ellessque
no, I'm not being facetious.
you are picking at him like I pick at my meal when someone serves me eggplant. Tongue
can he do ANYTHING right?
FFS, there has to be something about the guy you were attracted to in order to want to go out on a date with him.
nobody is perfect.
maybe he's not very good at dating and it IS as simple as that?
loosen up a little bit and stop looking for that rain clouds. I imagine if you try to do that a little bit his ice CAP might melt a little bit.



Have you read the other posts on this guy, yes or no? EVERYONE has been telling me to cut bait from day one, but
because I liked him I hung in there.
I will see what happens Fri. night. I have some questions for him about some of his "behaviors" and will see how he responds to those.
Thanks for your input.
details
Posted by ellessque
Posted by CapsRule
Posted by ellessque
you guys are meanies.
why let this tiny little incident spiral out of control?
you could have turned this into something fun and comical.
the guy obviously has obstacles when dating. we all can see this. why make it worse for him?
you could have passed that receipt back and forth a million times as a joke you can laugh about later. perhaps, stick it in his pocket or slide it in his wallet. Put it in the visor of his car.
Why couldn't you just have fun with it?
Why the automatic "doom and gloom"?



Where do you live?
Do you want him? If so, you can have him! LOL


that's not nice and how would you feel if he was on a forum right now picking on all of your flaws and giving you away to strangers? Tongue
yes, I read your other threads. He does have his quirks.....but I imagine you do too.
click to expand



No ma'am -- I don't have nearly as many "quirks" as this guy. And my former relationship baggage was left elsewhere. So, no, it's not a comparable situation.
But thanks for playing.
details
Posted by ellessque
do you always do what everyone tells you to do?
they are only getting a one dimensional view of your experience.
are you purposely trying to talk yourself out of dating him?
it's like you go out with him so you can find something else to complain about.

i'm not trying to insult you and he could very well not be a good match but you are definitely "letting" him get under your skin with all the mega-analyzing you are doing. why not go with the flow and bring up the things that bother you on ON THE SPOT and in "real time"....instead of putting them under a microscope later?



How about applying some LOGIC!?
If I "always did what everyone tels me to do," I wouldn've have hung in this long, now WOULD I? I would have dumped in right outta the gate.
We are communicating VIA E-MAIL at HIS INSISTENCE! He reads and responds ONCE PER DAY. So "bringing things up on the spot" is IMPOSSIBLE per HIS "obstacles." Also, I didn't want to "accuse" him of planting the receipt in my purse (even though I KNOW he did), especially (again) VIA E-MAIL!
You can take your fingerwagging elsewhere. Why don't you go to EVERY THREAD on this forum and BITCH at all these people anonynously posting about their dates/lovers/interests? You can FUSS at them, saying "How would you like it if your partner were complaining about you on a message board?" as you did with ME.
I am sick of your righteous indignation crap, ChurchLady!
details
Uhm a guy sticks a receipt in my purse after paying? What a LOSER. Dump his ass.
details
Posted by ellessque
LOL!
defensive much?
I tried to give a different perspective....I've read all your damn threads about this guy and waited to form an opinion until I seen some kind of pattern established.
Unfortunately for you, I didn't see the pattern in him....I saw it in you.
So, you can kindly stick your hissy fit in your purse with your receipts! Tongue



Look up "defensive" in the dictionary, you room-temp-IQ dumbass! You can confused it with its converse.
Fuck off!!
details
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Uhm a guy sticks a receipt in my purse after paying? What a LOSER. Dump his ass.



Ah, some more intelligence on this thread. ^^
Thank you!
details
Posted by Caplove
Okay, so I thought about what Elle said, although I'm ignoring the "meanies" part. Tongue
Maybe he IS just incredibly awkward and socially inept. Has this guy EVER been married before?
I know some of the things are incredibly annoying like the communication via email when it used to be by phone at his insistence. The bad mouthing his exes (which really only makes him look bad but he seems to not realize this), the receipt in your purse from your date (that we aren't sure if he put there or not).
This guy needs to be put in line and trained, I don't think anyone other lady has bothered to show him how it's supposed to be. I think if anyone can do it, it's another CAP. Whether you want to proceed and get out your whip to train him is another matter. He's been living like this for quite some time.





Caplove, you raise some good points.
He has been married before, twice. Both were "awful," and he has vowed to never marry again, EVER. (I am still distilling that info.) He says it has been years since his last relationship.
Yes, I agree that most likely he has behaved this way for YEARS. Do I want to train him? Not sure right now. Despite all of his crap, I still like him. But I am over this stuff...
I have decided to cool things off for now. Friday we are going out to dinner (my treat with a Groupon) and to hear some live tunes. Since I have plans early Sat. a.m., I'll be turning in early so cutting it a little short. Before the evening ends, however, I have a few questions for him about a trip that we had discussed taking (now a defunct idea). During the planning stage he did something that pissed me off, and I want to hear his "explanation" (if he has one) for that.
Bottom line is that thus far everything has been "all about him," which is just a form of selfishness. Not cool, and frankly I don't think he REALLY wants a relationship with anyone. He has erected too many obstacles.
There is a young cute genius at school who has been eyeing me for over 2 months now, and I am beginning to look in that direction.
details
Home Astrology Comments Forums Search

©1997-2025 dxpnet.com. All Rights Reserved.
Advertising Contact Terms of Use Privacy Policy