If and when.....

Been dating my cap for almost 8 months...no I love you's said but I do love him! I have been talking about selling my house and we have been speaking about IF he was to move in with me his ex wouldn't let the kids be there with us sleeping under same roof unless we were married. Today I asked him if he would be willing to see his kids at his moms when he has them 2 weekends a month. He says that is probably what he would have to do but we would worry about it "if and when we got there"

This sounds negative to me like your not thinking optimistically about our future....idk understanding the cap male is hard. Never been the chaser and I don't like this position! I'm a Gem and I over analyze EVERYTHING....

Can you give me your thoughts.....

Posted by CapMusicc
It's just keeping a realistic view. You may NOT get there. You MAY get there. He can't tell the future, just as you can't.

Very freaking true, WHY in the hell is it so hard to remember that....I need to stop worrying about beginning to end but damn it is so hard being the one that's vulnerable and he's kinda just goes with it whatever happens happens, it's not going to bother me either way attitude. Is this a normal attitude for a cap?

8 months is nothing to Cap. Patience, Gem 🙂

Saturn, the ruler of Capricorn, is Father Time and the planet of karma and, by extension, fate. Only a fool would attempt to fight these. Let the gods role the dice and then we mortals shall play.

SGT,

I'm trying my dear friend, patience is not a trait of a Gem. But I'm being damn patient for you to do my chart and his love/sex/future thoughts lol

You wouldn't know if you loved someone after 8 months? You dang caps have to have your HEAD MATCH YOUR HEART your love should start in your heart!

Posted by CapMusicc
It pretty much is.

Is what?

Doesn't matter where it starts, they both still have to agree. Lack of love is rarely the primary reason a relationship fails. There's nothing that can be done today that we won't have a little bit more insight into tomorrow, so why rush?

Posted by LIBRA1234

Posted by StoicGoat
Doesn't matter where it starts, they both still have to agree. Lack of love is rarely the primary reason a relationship fails. There's nothing that can be done today that we won't have a little bit more insight into tomorrow, so why rush?

Its easy for u as a man to say that lol...men can be 60 and have a kid, no need to rush 🙂

click to expand

This is a valid point for those who desire children. As there's been no mention of this I assumed, perhaps erroneously, it was not a concern.

If I get pregnant I'm rich lol no kid worries!!

Don't laugh I have dealt with ALOT of loss my moms suicide, my dads death I'm only 38...but I feel like when he says this I can breathe a little easier as if then I can say ok be shares these scary ass feelings of love I feel, and I can just ride it out till the next "step" comes. I get these thoughts of let me break it off cause if this goes any further I'm really going to get hurt but who the hell an I kidding, it's going to hurt regardless....sorry emotional tonight...miss having someone beside me in this bed....


His DOB is 1/14/71

I can do better than that 😛

'Tis surely my pleasure to make your acquaintance 🙂

It's only someone you care about who has the power to hurt you. Don't worry about it. If he's worthy of your love, that will be proven in due time. And if not, you'll still be better off for it. Every experience teaches a lesson. The lessons are not always immediately apparent and frequently go unnoticed amid the white noise of life, but they are there. Don't shy away. Love without fear, laugh without shame, and trust that the best that can come to you via this relationship will.

Posted by CapMusicc
Planetary Influence: Mercury
Mercury gives you the edge! You are highly motivated and disciplined. Nothing blocks your route to the top of the tree. And you possess a ruthless streak that comes into play if someone attempts to sabotage or undo your good work- understandable! You do not respond kindly to competition — you HAVE to be the best — or else! A true perfectionist, you have a brilliant mind. There is indeed a touch of genius when you are in full flow. An exceptionally creative and powerful personality, you cast a spell. And who can say —no— With a computer??s memory for detail, you take some beating. Facts and figures trip off your tongue. When you want to impress, you surely will.

Off Sarah De la mer. Dunno how accurate the site is. 3rd decan.

Sounds like him I'm 6/6/74


SGT, thanks your words are comforting as always....

Pleased to be of comfort, Gem. *bows*

Jenn, whether he feels love or not, he's just not ready to say it. And I don't think he's ready to move in right now, by what he said. It wasn't negative, just honest. Stop thinking negative!!!! I think he wants to be with you, just don't rush him. Caps are slow. There are so many various reasons for that, I couldn't begin to explain because we're all different.

Here's an example: if the aqua wanted to get married, I would insist on a long engagement. The only reason is to ease into it, get used to the idea in my head, make sure that's what I want, make sure I'm not making a mistake, test out some situations first, make sure I'll still get to be me, make sure he'll allow my girls time, make sure he's going to accept the worse part of me, wonder if he's seen the dark side yet, so many thoughts to be addressed in my head before I could make a commitment.

He just might not be where you are in this relationship just yet. Give it more time. My ex husband (gem) pushed me to get engaged/live together that I didn't get to know him well enough before I married him. Looking back, I wish I had put more weight on the things I didn't like, but he was so excited, I just went along with it. Once I got to know his true self it was too late and I was stuck. I was young and dumb in those days. But that's the kind of things caps are afraid of - making mistakes and being trapped. That's one reason we like to take our time and really get to know someone in and out.

We want all angles and possibilities worked out in our head before we do something "permanent" or gives the other person the projection of permanence (we don't want to lead someone on either). We have to have time to work all this out in our heads until we are sure. It does take time. If we feel we are pushed, we can be very stubborn. Ever try to put a rope on a goat and make it go where you want it to - they will pull and dig in their heels. They have to be coaxed then allowed to make the choice before they will lead. Once they trust all will be well, they will freely go along.

I hope this helps. Do any other caps feel the same as me??

Thanks girlie,

Tried to call you last night....like I said feeling emotional lately I've gotta get it together cause I have it bad for him and its making me insecure and that has never been me...he talks about this to but it's all vague and stuff. So hard to be patient but I will try harder...

Posted by GemJenn
Thanks girlie,

Tried to call you last night....like I said feeling emotional lately I've gotta get it together cause I have it bad for him and its making me insecure and that has never been me...he talks about this to but it's all vague and stuff. So hard to be patient but I will try harder...

Sorry I missed the call. I fell asleep early!

It's all good thanks for the advice...we were talking tonight and I told him I'm the most patient girlfriend ever in a teasing way...his response, you have and whether you believe it or not you have broken my wall down more than you think also your the person I spend the most time with.

I'm going to continue to be patient, damn this man for making me fall in love with him! I've never been so spun lol

That's awesome Jenn!!! It's not easy for us to let those walls down!