I'm having an open-relationship with...
This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by capricornish on Saturday, December 3, 2011 and has 15 replies.
..... a Scorpio and a Cancerian woman who are best of friends (after a trial of fire) and I'm just tired of the constant drama in my life. I was doing well and handled them both well (for 2 years) until recently Miss Cancer decided to betray me and Miss Scorpio thought she should humiliate me.
Humiliate and betray a Cap....mmmmm....let me think a moment......not exactly a good idea. Miss Scorpio and I have a big problem with power i.e. who's dictating and in control of the relationship. We both play this game of constantly trying to 'get on top' of each other, sometimes subversively. Miss Cancer's big problem about me is the lack of emotional empathy I output i.e. close to zero for a Cap. She's emotionally edgy and never tells me about her emotional mindset even though I kinda know what's up.
I know what they need most of all is reassurance from me which I'm not prepared to give. Not because I'm greedy, but for reasons of me still finding my footing with them. Sure 2 years seems a long time to solidify a relationship, but I don't want to commit to something I'm still trying to 'figure out'. I once Miss Aries (an ex but now a good friend) that I don't want anything 'really, really serious'. She told me that's the allure of me; they both want to try to be the 'one' who conquered me. (Conquer a Cap?? Give me a break.) You can tame me but you will never saddle me I told her (interestingly my Chinese sign is a Horse).
Anyway after their respective actions I decided to refrigerate and told them both that I don't want any contact for the foreseeable future. Now I need to figure out if I really want them back. I kinda miss them both but this is tempered with intermittent bursts of internal rage and I think 'Fuck it' I'm going to cut them out of my life forever. I'm in hyper-analytical mode at the moment but I think I'm being far to logical in my mind. Perhaps I should learn from my Water sign women and try and use a bit of emotion in the decision process (which for me is like asking a fish to cycle).
No one is perfect and we make mistakes, but these transgressions are the upper pinnacle of what no to do to a Cap. So it comes down me forgiving and having them back or forgiving them and letting them go. So anyway, about what to do....
Humiliate and betray a Cap....mmmmm....let me think a moment......not exactly a good idea. Miss Scorpio and I have a big problem with power i.e. who's dictating and in control of the relationship. We both play this game of constantly trying to 'get on top' of each other, sometimes subversively. Miss Cancer's big problem about me is the lack of emotional empathy I output i.e. close to zero for a Cap. She's emotionally edgy and never tells me about her emotional mindset even though I kinda know what's up.
I know what they need most of all is reassurance from me which I'm not prepared to give. Not because I'm greedy, but for reasons of me still finding my footing with them. Sure 2 years seems a long time to solidify a relationship, but I don't want to commit to something I'm still trying to 'figure out'. I once Miss Aries (an ex but now a good friend) that I don't want anything 'really, really serious'. She told me that's the allure of me; they both want to try to be the 'one' who conquered me. (Conquer a Cap?? Give me a break.) You can tame me but you will never saddle me I told her (interestingly my Chinese sign is a Horse).
Anyway after their respective actions I decided to refrigerate and told them both that I don't want any contact for the foreseeable future. Now I need to figure out if I really want them back. I kinda miss them both but this is tempered with intermittent bursts of internal rage and I think 'Fuck it' I'm going to cut them out of my life forever. I'm in hyper-analytical mode at the moment but I think I'm being far to logical in my mind. Perhaps I should learn from my Water sign women and try and use a bit of emotion in the decision process (which for me is like asking a fish to cycle).
No one is perfect and we make mistakes, but these transgressions are the upper pinnacle of what no to do to a Cap. So it comes down me forgiving and having them back or forgiving them and letting them go. So anyway, about what to do....
HAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Really man. I thought you were a leo for a sec with all the hubris in your story. Thank you, you made real laugh out loud.... I'm going to bed on that one..
ladies +1 on the ego check hahaha oh me...
ladies +1 on the ego check hahaha oh me...
What I'd like to know if what sort of self respecting woman would put up with this horseshit? You seemed to have latched hold of not one, but TWO that entertain a self-serving cheater. *clapping* Oh well done YOU.
Hmmm.
Posted by scorchedearth
you should get your head out of your ass
+1
Only a Cappy would screw up this arrangement smh.
If its an open relationship, and the two women know there is another, then I don't see the problem, besides it all being a dumb idea. They both know who/what they are dealing with and their desire to continue is on them. They are both adults, but I applaud anyone showing themselves and letting their partners see them, keeping them in the know. This is what many men juggle on the daily all while telling their women they are exclusive.
Now, as far as you to think you have the luxury of deciding on what to do with them that's arrogant. I'd say let them both go and take time to figure out what will make you happy with ONE woman. This arrangement is meant to be temporary, and I'm thinking its time for you to move past it and start focusing more on your future.
I had the best talk last night with my Cappy friend. He's not in this type of arrangement, he's engaged, but he knows he's a piece of s@#* because he told me "I'm a piece of s@#*" in those exact words over the phone. In reality, he's an extremely good guy that make EXTREMELY dumb decisions and gets others involved in his mess because he hasn't taken the time out to figure out what he wants/needs. He doesn't know, but all of his best women are in his past, while he worries about his future, but he'll always reflect back because he always screwed up.
My point is, please stop making these dumb decisions. Like my ma says, a Cap male ALWAYS think its the womans fault. No, its yours, and here you are trying to blame two women.
If its an open relationship, and the two women know there is another, then I don't see the problem, besides it all being a dumb idea. They both know who/what they are dealing with and their desire to continue is on them. They are both adults, but I applaud anyone showing themselves and letting their partners see them, keeping them in the know. This is what many men juggle on the daily all while telling their women they are exclusive.
Now, as far as you to think you have the luxury of deciding on what to do with them that's arrogant. I'd say let them both go and take time to figure out what will make you happy with ONE woman. This arrangement is meant to be temporary, and I'm thinking its time for you to move past it and start focusing more on your future.
I had the best talk last night with my Cappy friend. He's not in this type of arrangement, he's engaged, but he knows he's a piece of s@#* because he told me "I'm a piece of s@#*" in those exact words over the phone. In reality, he's an extremely good guy that make EXTREMELY dumb decisions and gets others involved in his mess because he hasn't taken the time out to figure out what he wants/needs. He doesn't know, but all of his best women are in his past, while he worries about his future, but he'll always reflect back because he always screwed up.
My point is, please stop making these dumb decisions. Like my ma says, a Cap male ALWAYS think its the womans fault. No, its yours, and here you are trying to blame two women.
Signed Up: Apr 11, 2011
Comments: 5 · Posts: 892 · Topics: 25
Comments: 5 · Posts: 892 · Topics: 25
Posted by lnana04
Only a Cappy would screw up this arrangement smh.
If its an open relationship, and the two women know there is another, then I don't see the problem, besides it all being a dumb idea. They both know who/what they are dealing with and their desire to continue is on them. They are both adults, but I applaud anyone showing themselves and letting their partners see them, keeping them in the know. This is what many men juggle on the daily all while telling their women they are exclusive.
My point is, please stop making these dumb decisions. Like my ma says, a Cap male ALWAYS think its the womans fault. No, its yours, and here you are trying to blame two women.
Yay, someone actually READ the post, there is hope in the world!!!
If anyone wants a synopsis..the issue isn't that he's dating two women at the same time(who both know about each other and are okay with it), the issue is that both women did something in the relationship that warranted him to break up with them both. The CANCER (NOT him) cheated on him and the SCORPIO made him feel like crap (by humiliating him.)
I personally think breaking up with both was probably the best thing you could have done, because I don't think afterwards, choosing one is going to go over well with either woman. These are presumptions but choosing one woman, will probably get you the most worst revenge imaginable that will probably sit with you for the rest of your life, and the other one will make you feel so bad that you will constantly feel if you ever made the right decision. Can you guess which one is which? It can go either way..that's the problem.
And try as you might think, as self-sufficient as you are..(don't think I don't remember you, Mr. Perfect.) I wouldn't underestimate the power of water signs ability to get under your skin, especially these two signs which are notorious 'kryptonite'to capricorn men. If you want to analyze anything, find what you took from the relationship, entertain the idea of what you could have contributed to these two women to react in this way and see how you could be better for the next time. And of course forgive them both, for your sanity at least.
Signed Up: Apr 11, 2011
Comments: 5 · Posts: 892 · Topics: 25
Comments: 5 · Posts: 892 · Topics: 25
Questions for thought...no need to answer, I'm throwing them to you.
For the Cancer, when she cheated on you because she claimed you couldn't meet her emotional needs. Could you have met her emotional needs and didn't want to ir did you not care? Or maybe do you think that you guys weren't compatible because you guys don't share the same emotional self-suffiency? What qualities about her did you find attractive in the first place? Was cuz she made you feel like a "hero" and you wanted to 'save her'? MAde you feel like more of a man? Was the emotional aspect something you didn't bargain before because at the time she didn't come off this way intially?
For the Scorpio, since the problem was a power struggle, could you afford to let her have some power, sometimes..let your guard down, put your ego to the side? Or did you not want to, was what she asking or trying to take from you too much. What did you she actually say to humiliate you?? Scorpios when it comes to truth, the sting hurts because (if at least to you) it has a bit of truth to it. And do you know for a fact that she meant it, or was it a mistake on her part. What qualities about her attracted to you in the first place? Could you entertain the idea that the appeal and allure most women have on you(according to your aries ex) could be the same allure that you felt for the Scorpio?
Also, if you don't want something 'serious, serious' how are you going to articulate that to other women in the future? Look to other signs that are self-sufficient, Air signs maybe( Aquarius?) or maybe a fellow earth sign? Compromise your standards? "Let go" a little?
If you want to analyze your chart, look specifically to your moon sign..and aspects as such..your Venus and aspects as such. And your fifth and 7th house only if you have planets in those house..but you can analyze those for kicks if you want to... Your moon can give you an idea on what kind of person makes you emotionally secure..or that can subvert you emotionally. The Venus can give you insight in the type of woman you are attracted to. 5th and 7th house give you insight on the types of relationships make you tick or what you desire most from a relationship.
For the Cancer, when she cheated on you because she claimed you couldn't meet her emotional needs. Could you have met her emotional needs and didn't want to ir did you not care? Or maybe do you think that you guys weren't compatible because you guys don't share the same emotional self-suffiency? What qualities about her did you find attractive in the first place? Was cuz she made you feel like a "hero" and you wanted to 'save her'? MAde you feel like more of a man? Was the emotional aspect something you didn't bargain before because at the time she didn't come off this way intially?
For the Scorpio, since the problem was a power struggle, could you afford to let her have some power, sometimes..let your guard down, put your ego to the side? Or did you not want to, was what she asking or trying to take from you too much. What did you she actually say to humiliate you?? Scorpios when it comes to truth, the sting hurts because (if at least to you) it has a bit of truth to it. And do you know for a fact that she meant it, or was it a mistake on her part. What qualities about her attracted to you in the first place? Could you entertain the idea that the appeal and allure most women have on you(according to your aries ex) could be the same allure that you felt for the Scorpio?
Also, if you don't want something 'serious, serious' how are you going to articulate that to other women in the future? Look to other signs that are self-sufficient, Air signs maybe( Aquarius?) or maybe a fellow earth sign? Compromise your standards? "Let go" a little?
If you want to analyze your chart, look specifically to your moon sign..and aspects as such..your Venus and aspects as such. And your fifth and 7th house only if you have planets in those house..but you can analyze those for kicks if you want to... Your moon can give you an idea on what kind of person makes you emotionally secure..or that can subvert you emotionally. The Venus can give you insight in the type of woman you are attracted to. 5th and 7th house give you insight on the types of relationships make you tick or what you desire most from a relationship.
I don't really understand...isn't the whole point of an open relationship the fact that you're not exclusive....???
So...you had a right to date these two women...But cancer had no right to see another guy...??? Im sorry but if you dated these two women for two years, and you still haven't figured out what it is that you want...then there's a problem.
The women hurt you, yes,but you need to realise that they're human, and everyone in your life will hurt you at some point...the trick is to know who is actually worth going through the pain for, and sticking it out.
This is soo funny, I mean you date these two close friends for 2 years, and still have no idea who to choose, and when cancer goes looking for what she wants you're hurt, even though you've been dating her close friend at the same time,for 2 years, scorpio is obviously on a 'lets get even' mode, and is probably losing respect for you as we speak. I mean do you see what's happening? You couldn't chose, so in a way you lost both.
If you don't like either one of them enough to stay and work through it, then let them know, they both deserve better. You need to man up, take responsibility for your actions, a woman is never okay with an open relationship, not one where she's in for two years anyways, I'm sorry but they had a perfect right to act the way they did. Obviously cancer knew her worth, I mean she stopped sticking around waiting for you to man-up.
CLASSIC.
So...you had a right to date these two women...But cancer had no right to see another guy...??? Im sorry but if you dated these two women for two years, and you still haven't figured out what it is that you want...then there's a problem.
The women hurt you, yes,but you need to realise that they're human, and everyone in your life will hurt you at some point...the trick is to know who is actually worth going through the pain for, and sticking it out.
This is soo funny, I mean you date these two close friends for 2 years, and still have no idea who to choose, and when cancer goes looking for what she wants you're hurt, even though you've been dating her close friend at the same time,for 2 years, scorpio is obviously on a 'lets get even' mode, and is probably losing respect for you as we speak. I mean do you see what's happening? You couldn't chose, so in a way you lost both.
If you don't like either one of them enough to stay and work through it, then let them know, they both deserve better. You need to man up, take responsibility for your actions, a woman is never okay with an open relationship, not one where she's in for two years anyways, I'm sorry but they had a perfect right to act the way they did. Obviously cancer knew her worth, I mean she stopped sticking around waiting for you to man-up.
CLASSIC.
Signed Up: Apr 11, 2011
Comments: 5 · Posts: 892 · Topics: 25
Comments: 5 · Posts: 892 · Topics: 25
Posted by leilaxxlovez
I don't really understand...isn't the whole point of an open relationship the fact that you're not exclusive....???
So...you had a right to date these two women...But cancer had no right to see another guy...??? Im sorry but if you dated these two women for two years, and you still haven't figured out what it is that you want...then there's a problem.
The women hurt you, yes,but you need to realise that they're human, and everyone in your life will hurt you at some point...the trick is to know who is actually worth going through the pain for, and sticking it out.
This is soo funny, I mean you date these two close friends for 2 years, and still have no idea who to choose, and when cancer goes looking for what she wants you're hurt, even though you've been dating her close friend at the same time,for 2 years, scorpio is obviously on a 'lets get even' mode, and is probably losing respect for you as we speak. I mean do you see what's happening? You couldn't chose, so in a way you lost both.
If you don't like either one of them enough to stay and work through it, then let them know, they both deserve better. You need to man up, take responsibility for your actions, a woman is never okay with an open relationship, not one where she's in for two years anyways, I'm sorry but they had a perfect right to act the way they did. Obviously cancer knew her worth, I mean she stopped sticking around waiting for you to man-up.
CLASSIC.
Haha!!! That so slipped my mine..but can we say.....zing!
Leila shut this thread down!!!
You can't handle open relationships well. What a crap management skill you have here!
LoL@ Tiger Woods!
My Cap friend and I talked about him few weeks ago. My friend was like "he loved his wife. Women need to understand that sex is just sex." Didn't one of his girls ask him for like 300 dollars and he said he didn't have it? I chuckle every time I think about that. Tiger wasn't attached to those women how this guy seems to be.
My Cap friend and I talked about him few weeks ago. My friend was like "he loved his wife. Women need to understand that sex is just sex." Didn't one of his girls ask him for like 300 dollars and he said he didn't have it? I chuckle every time I think about that. Tiger wasn't attached to those women how this guy seems to be.
Posted by scorchedearth
you should get your head out of your ass. that's probably the best thing you could try to do. i read through that entire mess and it shames me that you're a fellow earth sign.
you're an example of all that is wrong with male capricorns and my only hope is that no one ever has sex with you in the future.
btw, i eat capricorns for lunch. you sign isn't about shit, as none are.
your arrogance is laughable.
Let's not throw stones!!
Posted by NemesisPosted by venusianbull
What I'd like to know if what sort of self respecting woman would put up with this horseshit? You seemed to have latched hold of not one, but TWO that entertain a self-serving cheater. *clapping* Oh well done YOU.
it??s just a fantasy - never happened in the first place lolclick to expand
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