Ssasy
@Ssasy
12 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 213 · Posts: 1202 · Topics: 67
Is he truly interested or am I kidding myself?
Okay. He's a capricorn. He's married. Caps usually take committment very seriously. He's not going to ask you out not only because of his committment, but he's also not going to want to risk his marriage and lose half of his money, possessions, kids, etc. There are some caps that will cheat, but most of us are very loyal to the person we've made a committment to. Plus, we aren't happy with the idea of losing half of what took us a lifetime to accumulate.
Second of all, he is your supervisor. He's a capricorn. He identifies himself with his career. Speaking generally here, because there are some caps that will fool around at the office, but a cap generally is not going to risk that career over a romantic fling. He could also be accused of sexual harrassment if not by you, then by his superiors. Don't poop where you eat. Most of us are that way. Even if you're discrete, it is likely to come back and bite you in the ass.
Regardless of whether he has feelings or not for you, he's not likely to act on them. You'd be best to keep in mind there is more at stake than just a date (kids, careers, reputations, his wife's feelings and livlihood, etc).
Besides, if you did have a fling, then you will be thrown right in the midst of all the ugliness that will transpire. Discretion or not, these things get found out. Your reputation and career path will be destroyed worse than his. The other woman is ALWAYS more socially outcasted than a cheating man is.
My advice: Back off, leave him alone and find someone else to be interested in.
Second of all, he is your supervisor. He's a capricorn. He identifies himself with his career. Speaking generally here, because there are some caps that will fool around at the office, but a cap generally is not going to risk that career over a romantic fling. He could also be accused of sexual harrassment if not by you, then by his superiors. Don't poop where you eat. Most of us are that way. Even if you're discrete, it is likely to come back and bite you in the ass.
Regardless of whether he has feelings or not for you, he's not likely to act on them. You'd be best to keep in mind there is more at stake than just a date (kids, careers, reputations, his wife's feelings and livlihood, etc).
Besides, if you did have a fling, then you will be thrown right in the midst of all the ugliness that will transpire. Discretion or not, these things get found out. Your reputation and career path will be destroyed worse than his. The other woman is ALWAYS more socially outcasted than a cheating man is.
My advice: Back off, leave him alone and find someone else to be interested in.
Posted by truecap
Okay. He's a capricorn. He's married. Caps usually take committment very seriously. He's not going to ask you out not only because of his committment, but he's also not going to want to risk his marriage and lose half of his money, possessions, kids, etc. There are some caps that will cheat, but most of us are very loyal to the person we've made a committment to. Plus, we aren't happy with the idea of losing half of what took us a lifetime to accumulate.
Second of all, he is your supervisor. He's a capricorn. He identifies himself with his career. Speaking generally here, because there are some caps that will fool around at the office, but a cap generally is not going to risk that career over a romantic fling. He could also be accused of sexual harrassment if not by you, then by his superiors. Don't poop where you eat. Most of us are that way. Even if you're discrete, it is likely to come back and bite you in the ass.
Regardless of whether he has feelings or not for you, he's not likely to act on them. You'd be best to keep in mind there is more at stake than just a date (kids, careers, reputations, his wife's feelings and livlihood, etc).
Besides, if you did have a fling, then you will be thrown right in the midst of all the ugliness that will transpire. Discretion or not, these things get found out. Your reputation and career path will be destroyed worse than his. The other woman is ALWAYS more socially outcasted than a cheating man is.
My advice: Back off, leave him alone and find someone else to be interested in.
Perfect! and Sexxy Def a TRUE CAP!
perfect example of a unicorn burying its head in the sand
As others have said, as much as he may like you, he will never leave his wife and kids for you. He doesn't seem to be unhappy in his marriage and he is your superior.
I would NEVER let anything like that go any further than it has already if I was in his position. Probably keep you where you are now to enjoy the conversations and maybe give you a hand when you move up in the world. Nothing more.
The moment you try to force anything more out of it he will snap awake and push you away.
So get your feelings sorted out, let go of that feeling or whatever claim you might want to lay on him and maybe you can become good friends.
But unless the situation really changes (he divorces his wife AND you move to another company) it will stay where it is.
Move on.
I would NEVER let anything like that go any further than it has already if I was in his position. Probably keep you where you are now to enjoy the conversations and maybe give you a hand when you move up in the world. Nothing more.
The moment you try to force anything more out of it he will snap awake and push you away.
So get your feelings sorted out, let go of that feeling or whatever claim you might want to lay on him and maybe you can become good friends.
But unless the situation really changes (he divorces his wife AND you move to another company) it will stay where it is.
Move on.
He likes the attention you are giving him. A little ego boost! Tigercap is right.
Posted by tw1nk1e
I don't get why married men are attractive, honestly.
Come on. Whatever idiotic "connection" you are imagining, he loved her, he walked down the aisle with her, he had babies with her.
No comparison there.
It's not an idiotic connection, I am sure he is feeding her just enough to keep her there. He isn't the good guy here.
Posted by aquapiscescuspPosted by tw1nk1e
I don't get why married men are attractive, honestly.
Come on. Whatever idiotic "connection" you are imagining, he loved her, he walked down the aisle with her, he had babies with her.
No comparison there.
It's not an idiotic connection, I am sure he is feeding her just enough to keep her there. He isn't the good guy here.click to expand
He may not be, but shes contemplating a date! Being maried should be enough NOT to feed into it. Granted yeah hes making her feel like shes on cloud 9, but leave it there....
Why should she want more?
Thanks all for your comments, I appreciate that most are very open and honest. And yes, I can be a "silly gemini" at times.
But please don't misunderstand my words. It's difficult to condense two years in just some brief sentences, so it's hard to bring across the entire situation.
I think we really do have a connection - although will admit it probably means more to me than to him (which I guess is what I needed to express on this forum). But at the same time, I think it's unfair to reduce it from my side to a simple "he's married, ergo attractive to weak minded women".
Lastly, he has not crossed the line, so I don't see him trying to take advantage of the situation. My desire for a "date" is more a desire for a situation where we could actually openly talk about all this, and clarify what's going on. Which I guess is not what he would want, or at least be interested in, considering all the above.
I appreciate the perspective and see the truth in your words. I need to decide if I can live with the situation, or not.
But please don't misunderstand my words. It's difficult to condense two years in just some brief sentences, so it's hard to bring across the entire situation.
I think we really do have a connection - although will admit it probably means more to me than to him (which I guess is what I needed to express on this forum). But at the same time, I think it's unfair to reduce it from my side to a simple "he's married, ergo attractive to weak minded women".
Lastly, he has not crossed the line, so I don't see him trying to take advantage of the situation. My desire for a "date" is more a desire for a situation where we could actually openly talk about all this, and clarify what's going on. Which I guess is not what he would want, or at least be interested in, considering all the above.
I appreciate the perspective and see the truth in your words. I need to decide if I can live with the situation, or not.
Posted by SsasyPosted by truecap
Okay. He's a capricorn. He's married. Caps usually take committment very seriously. He's not going to ask you out not only because of his committment, but he's also not going to want to risk his marriage and lose half of his money, possessions, kids, etc. There are some caps that will cheat, but most of us are very loyal to the person we've made a committment to. Plus, we aren't happy with the idea of losing half of what took us a lifetime to accumulate.
Second of all, he is your supervisor. He's a capricorn. He identifies himself with his career. Speaking generally here, because there are some caps that will fool around at the office, but a cap generally is not going to risk that career over a romantic fling. He could also be accused of sexual harrassment if not by you, then by his superiors. Don't poop where you eat. Most of us are that way. Even if you're discrete, it is likely to come back and bite you in the ass.
Regardless of whether he has feelings or not for you, he's not likely to act on them. You'd be best to keep in mind there is more at stake than just a date (kids, careers, reputations, his wife's feelings and livlihood, etc).
Besides, if you did have a fling, then you will be thrown right in the midst of all the ugliness that will transpire. Discretion or not, these things get found out. Your reputation and career path will be destroyed worse than his. The other woman is ALWAYS more socially outcasted than a cheating man is.
My advice: Back off, leave him alone and find someone else to be interested in.
Perfect! and Sexxy Def a TRUE CAP!click to expand
It's not often I get called sexy on here! 🙂
Posted by champrangerPosted by ConfusedGem
I've never spoken a word about all this with my colleagues, but I can see they sometimes look at us together with a questioning glance.
Chances are that your colleague already knows. Just because YOU did not say anything, does NOT mean other people will NEVER find out.click to expand
Yep. People just Loooove to speculate.
Posted by champrangerPosted by ConfusedGem
But at the same time, I think it's unfair to reduce it from my side to a simple "he's married, ergo attractive to weak minded women".
But the bottom line is that he is MARRIED. No matter how it is worded in anyone's post in this thread, this guy is still committed to his wife, until the day they get a divorce.click to expand
For some reason that is a bigger problem for the women than the men on this site.
But maybe she should talk with him once. Chances are she will be cured and ready to move on after that. However, if he does react positively she probably won't be able to keep it at the friendship level.
So it's better not to go there and stop thinking that you might feel better after talking about it.
Relevant:
^^ thats a good billboard.
well the men are also at fault because they love the attention. but then here's the thing: the men who find the women who cave in, have NO respect for that woman anymore because it seems as if she don't give a hell about him to fight for him.
also, the other woman who is honing in on the man who is taken, is a homewrecker no matter how you slice it. She wants what the others have, because it gives her excitable energy to have something that is not hers. And she feels she is winning the race. Because it is a race to her anyway, and who cares about other people's FEELINGS.
Feelings? Pfffawwww who cares? Says the homewrecker. As long as I get to WIN! (while secretly not respecting the man who gives in to her because she realizes too, if she has any morals, that he's a dipshit for not respecting his wife)
see the "armchair psychology" of it all.....
Adam Ant time! Desperate but NOT serious
well the men are also at fault because they love the attention. but then here's the thing: the men who find the women who cave in, have NO respect for that woman anymore because it seems as if she don't give a hell about him to fight for him.
also, the other woman who is honing in on the man who is taken, is a homewrecker no matter how you slice it. She wants what the others have, because it gives her excitable energy to have something that is not hers. And she feels she is winning the race. Because it is a race to her anyway, and who cares about other people's FEELINGS.
Feelings? Pfffawwww who cares? Says the homewrecker. As long as I get to WIN! (while secretly not respecting the man who gives in to her because she realizes too, if she has any morals, that he's a dipshit for not respecting his wife)
see the "armchair psychology" of it all.....
Adam Ant time! Desperate but NOT serious
There is nothing to talk about if he is married, if he mentioned the wife or not. He is married on paper . If it's one thing I know about Cap men, they don't want to lose half there savings in a divorce because they screwed around with a PYT. Be smart. I know that you have thought about each scenario with this guy. Take it from all the above and leave him alone now!
Posted by truecapPosted by SsasyPosted by truecap
Okay. He's a capricorn. He's married. Caps usually take committment very seriously. He's not going to ask you out not only because of his committment, but he's also not going to want to risk his marriage and lose half of his money, possessions, kids, etc. There are some caps that will cheat, but most of us are very loyal to the person we've made a committment to. Plus, we aren't happy with the idea of losing half of what took us a lifetime to accumulate.
Second of all, he is your supervisor. He's a capricorn. He identifies himself with his career. Speaking generally here, because there are some caps that will fool around at the office, but a cap generally is not going to risk that career over a romantic fling. He could also be accused of sexual harrassment if not by you, then by his superiors. Don't poop where you eat. Most of us are that way. Even if you're discrete, it is likely to come back and bite you in the ass.
Regardless of whether he has feelings or not for you, he's not likely to act on them. You'd be best to keep in mind there is more at stake than just a date (kids, careers, reputations, his wife's feelings and livlihood, etc).
Besides, if you did have a fling, then you will be thrown right in the midst of all the ugliness that will transpire. Discretion or not, these things get found out. Your reputation and career path will be destroyed worse than his. The other woman is ALWAYS more socially outcasted than a cheating man is.
My advice: Back off, leave him alone and find someone else to be interested in.
Perfect! and Sexxy Def a TRUE CAP!
It's not often I get called sexy on here! 🙂click to expand
Oh well you ARE welcome, and I love CAPS! 🙂
Posted by FoxGlove
Awww... Lisabethur just went and busted out the Adam ANT. That's awesome. 🙂
Ok, I just want to add one more thing -- obviously, I don't know the man and I don't know your relationship -- but here's what I'm thinking... If there WERE some sort of extreme circumstances with his wife (separated, on the verge of divorce, etc...), given the chemistry between you two, he would have found a way to mention it. He has not, so we must operate on the assumption that there ARE no special circumstances. As the wise Geminitwin said ^^^ -- he's married on paper. Sorry. Believe me, I know how much it sucks to have feelings that can't go anywhere. 😢 *hugs*
Foxglove
thanks! he is isn't he?
this thread/topic made me remember this film:
(Beyonce is the wife and Ali Carter is the other woman who broke into the married couple's house)
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