I've never posted on a message bored so if this is long winded I apologize. I've known this Cap woman for over a year. I've always thought she had
a thing for me. We both were seeing other people but recently we dated.
First date: Just simple. 4 hours of conversation over a drink, then a few weeks went by and we got together for date two.
Second date: it was AMAZING. We spent 6 hours talking over drinks, great laughs. However, she kept asking me very straight forward questions, do you want kids, marriage, etc. I'm an open book, but still like to maintain a little mystery. I was honest about everything, my integrity is everything to me and those close to me know that. I told her that I don't pull punches, and she said she liked that. So, she kept saying I really like you, I think your sexy, etc. I asked her questions and she completely opened up to me emotionally. She even told me her biggest secret and said 'I feel so comfortable with you'. we spent the entire night together and most of the next day, just laying together and cuddling, yes we kissed. I haven't felt that happy in a long time and haven't had a connection like that in a long time. We connect on every level and she just kept smiling, and saying how sexy I was and how she really liked me. We exchange a few messages throughout the he next week and I set up another date.
Third date: I had made plans but we decided to due something else due to time restraints, so we ate, talked, hung out, kept saying I was sexy, She really liked me, etc. Now this is where it gets strange. We both had plans later that evening. So I left and she got ready. Well hers fell through and I invited her out but she made other plans. Ok, cool. Monday, everything seemed fine, a few texts. Tuesday, i called her and left a message and she called me back, then said we will have to get together again sometime soon. She knew I would be busy that weekend... I called her after the weekend and left a message saying I wanted to take her out on a specific day. She then just sent this generic message saying hey, we should get totter her sometime soon. Well I haven't heard a peep from her. I invited her out recently but she said I have plans, sorry. No options for another date, nothing. I said ok, no worries.
So, Cap women, what the....???
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Sep 23, 2013Comments: 11 · Posts: 177 · Topics: 5
Looks like she doesn't makes you her priority anymore.. But that doesnt necessary means that she doesnt likes you anymore though, open up and try to have a small talk about it, i think that if she truly cares, she will readjust
Thank you both. I really appreciate the advice and I will keep you posted.
Well she's in her mid 20's so maybe that has something to do with it also. If you have any other advice I'm all ears.
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Sep 23, 2013Comments: 11 · Posts: 177 · Topics: 5
Dear Leo there's another thread in the cap forum where Someone asks what encourages a Capricorn to commit, you should have a look on it
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Jan 25, 2012Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
Well......this is a hard one.
It could be that she was so open with you, she regrets not being a little more guarded. She is now vulnerable that you know her greatest secret. She's expressed all this inner stuff and now she's embarrassed or a little afraid with what you're going to do with the information. I usually withdraw after this happens to me. It's fear. Fear that you won't think the same of her, fear you will judge her, fear you will use the information against her, fear of the unknown. Just stay the same, text her every couple of days.
Yet, I am also suspiscious that she is dating other people as well, being as you two have only had a couple of dates and haven't discussed being exclusive. This is not a bad thing, but you might have some competition.
My advice is not to chase her, but show interest. If you chase her, she will feel like you are pushy, clingy or needy and this will cause her to go the opposite direction. There is a fine line between showing too much interest and not enough interest. A little aloofness is good, but it goes a long way (personally, I like aloof guys, they make me crazy and keep me interested - almost a challenge). Yet, you have to show interest. Maybe just ask how her day was. Or use humor - text her something funny. You can capture a cap woman's heart by making her laugh.
Basically, Leo's do move faster than caps. She also may have distanced because she may be trying to decide how much she likes you and might feel you are moving faster than she is.
So, there are a couple of options/possibilities I've thrown out there. Maybe one of those fit.
I might do that in a few days. Should this be a once a week thing until she suggests to go out? I haven't really spoke to her in about a week and it was just one simple message back and forth.
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Jan 25, 2012Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
Maybe just say I want to try ______ restaurant sometime, I've never been there (or its new). You're welcome to join, just let me know when you would like to go. (or even just say what day is good for you? instead)
That puts the ball completely in her court and will tell you a lot more about whether she's interested. If she picks a date, she's interested. If she hum halls around, she's not. If she does go, then have lots of amusing stories to get her laughing (should be natural though and not forced), but don't forget to ask about her day or her likes or experiences.
This probably doesn't apply to you and it might be beside the point, but others can learn from it maybe. This Aries guy used to call me and the whole time on the phone he would talk, talk, talk. I couldn't get a word in edgewise. He wasn't interested in conversation, he just wanted to talk. I think I would say maybe three words during a 20 minute conversation. Such a turn off. Meanwhile, another less attractive. less successful guy would call and ask me how my day was and have me cracking up and laughing. Who do you think I went out with? Yep, the one who made me laugh. lol!!!
I hate constant phone and texting. It takes away from the personal side of dating. I did call her one time because she was having a bad day and simple said, hey hope is makes you crack a smile. She did return that call later and said she had more than a smile. But them she goes cold. No texting, or calls. It's like I have to be interested so she feels safe. When she said she was unavailable she didn't really say anything about another day or offer another day/time.
Not to sound egotistical, but I don't chase women. I've never really had the need. I haven't dated a ton of women because either I like you or don't. I usually know by simple texting or a first phone call and at the latest after the first date. So I'm not very good at the cat/mouse game because I've never wanted to nor had the need to play it.
I just got out of a relationship with a selfish cancer (yes she was selfish) about 6 months ago. Constant need for attention, lied about everything, etc. and she is still contacting me, well trying too. And my cappy lady had a selfish boyfriend as well. I don't know if she just likes the attention from an outgoing guy. But from what I've read about Caps is they're don't open up to anyone or share their feelings about someone. And for her to tell me her biggest secret and repeated day she likes me, it makes me wonder about what's going on in that beautiful head and heart of hers.