Me and my Cap woman

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by Gil on Sunday, February 1, 2015 and has 11 replies.
I am really excited that a place like this exists. I always knew that there were some personality or behavioral similarities between members of the same Zodiac, but I never put much thought into until my last relationship. First of all, I am the consummate Taurus, lol. Ninety-nine percent of what I??ve read about the male Taurus applies to me. I??m stubborn, materialistic, egotistical, possessive, insecure and a force to reckon with when I??m angry. I also know that I??m very generous, loyal, passionate, affectionate and honest. I??m a hard-worker and I love to provide for the woman in my life. I feel it??s my duty. After all, she could be with anyone else in the world, but she??s with me. smile
This brings me to my dilemma with my Cap female. You see, we clicked so fast and so hard that It scared the hell out of me. Being naturally inquisitive, I began to look for a reason. I turned to researching Taurus and Capricorn compatibility online and was amazed at what I found. It was then I knew there was a lot more to Astrology than I originally thought. We really hit it off well; from dining out to just hanging out. We could talk for hours about anything. I just wanted to be near her and she felt the same. I would just catch myself gazing at her (that Taurus stare) and then look away if she catches me. When our eyes met in public, it was an unusually long gaze. Yes, we Taurean like to stare and make eye contact. In the bedroom, there was an intimacy that went beyond the sexual act. Without saying a word, I knew exactly where she wanted to be touched. It was like I had the combination to a sophisticated lock. I rediscovered intimacy and it felt awesome! I fell in love with her and I fell hard. She got the nice gifts and the trips to Vegas as part of the deal and she was worth every penny. I would have done anything for her.
As time went along and we settled into a routine, we began to spend less time with each other. Our jobs and schedules did not always match up. The thing I discovered about me (Taurus) is that if left along, our logical minds began to wander. My thoughts began to question what we had and how she felt about me. I became possessive, jealous and insecure. She had a lot of male friends, which didn??t make me feel better. My entire personality changed, I was depressed and angry most of the time. I began to tell her how special she was to me and how she is my world.
When I could not take it anymore, I asked her to come see me for a talk. I told her how I felt, that I was head over heels in love with her. I have no doubt she believed every word I said. I asked her how she felt and really got a luke warm responses. I explained that not knowing how she felt is killing me and all I needed was a little assurance. I didn??t expect to tell me she loved me. Tell me anything, just make from the heart. When my frustration got the best of me, I called it off, citing I can??t be with someone who didn??t care for me. I really didn??t want to call it off, I thought by doing something this desperate would open up a line of communication that would allow us both to talk about our feelings. She didn??t reply, just got up and walked away. I know she was guarded, but wow. I know this was a childish game and I regret it so badly.
Over the next couple of days I contacted her and she was pissed! I told her about my true intentions; how I really didn??t mean to call everything off. She accused me of playing games. I concurred, but assured her that I loved her badly and was desperate and hurting. I saw her once in public and that??s when it really hit me. The glow she normally had on her face was gone. Maybe she did feel something. I just needed some acknowledgement of me having a small piece of her heart. A few more days went by and I called her again to apologize, it was then she told me not to call her or email.
My attitude over the next few days was quite interesting. During the first couple of days after the break up, I felt a great remorse. Seeing her in that condition destroyed me. I have managed to hurt the very person I was in love with. I would??ve done anything at that point to fix it. My attitude began to change and my logic took over. That??s when I began to research our Zodiacs. I discovered a lot about myself and her. I went though pages upon pages of Taurus/Capricorn interactions and behaviors. I now know getting a Capricorn to reveal their feelings before their ready is impossible and they don??t like pressure or games. I know it??s very hard for them to forgive once you break their trust. Over the past couple of days, my attitude shifted to anger. You see, in my logic, if a person asks you how you feel about them, and you avert the answer, isn??t that also playing games? If you have feelings for them and attempt to deceive them by pretending that you don??t, then that is also a game. It took all of my courage and humility to tell her that I have fallen in love with her. I laid everything on the table. Even when the opportunity to reciprocate presented itself, she just walked off. I know I played a childish game, but how would I know it would anger her so much. After all, she never said how she felt about me during our 8 month relationship. Maybe I??m the more sensitive of the two of us, but I think if someone tells you they are in love with you, not matter what the circumstances, you talk to them. You don??t shut them out knowing that it probably took all the courage in their body and soul to tell you. I would put my anger aside to either confirm my feelings for her or at least tell her that I don??t feel the same way, unless the break up was due to infidelity. I wouldn??t tell her not to call or email, because my feelings were hurt. I would take some responsibility in that I should??ve said something at that time, at least say I was full of crap and I did feel something or maybe ask a few questions on how I came to this conclusion or maybe just simply say I like you, but I don??t love you yet. Something, anything! I wouldn??t have walked out after being accused of not having feelings for someone??_unless I didn??t have feelings. With those thoughts going through my head, I am now angry at her. I am angry because at her selfishness, reckless and irresponsibility to someone??s profession of love to her.
I know the Goat and Bull are both stubborn. We are probably just waiting to see who will move next or hold out the longest. I am obeying her wishes and not contacting her. It has been 6 days since we??ve spoken. Even though I am angry, I still want to be with her and willing to work it out. I know at some point, I will stop trying. Before then, do you think I should disregard her wishes and call? Should I wait another week, another month? Thank you all so much, this website has given the courage to move on if need be.
I dont know what you should do, but Taureans become way too demanding. It all depends on how she feels now and if she feels the relationship is worth being hurt again everytime you feel you need reassurance.
It seems you really hurt her, and what you saw in her face was real. We dont like to let people in period, then to let someone in and they pull at or play with our hearts when they are going thru something. That just feels cruel to us and it feels like that person dont have our best interest at the end of the day.
I went through this with a Taurus when I thought in my mind things were going extremely good between us. He decided he wanted to pull feelings out of me by flirting with a coworker in front of me, and my hurt was so strong I could then see it in his face that he was hurt he hurt me.
Games like that NOT cool and instill fears in the Cap about the relationship that will never go away.
You say you wanted her words to come from the heart. We are not the type to be sincere at the demand of someone else, especially not if there is pressure involved. We dont operate like that. You pull a stunt and now you are pissed lol. I honestly dont know what you should do.
wow, nice story.
my 2 cents - if you want her, make her listen to you, do not give up, do not let it go.
good luck
Her calling you out on playing games is quite telling. You messed up big time.
Even if she does let you back in, it might be as a friend, but that old glow will never come back.
I fucking hate people pressuring me into telling them my feelings. When she did not reply she was not playing games, she was holding her tongue to figure out something for herself because she did not want to hurt you. Better to stay quiet and honest than to open your mouth and lie.
I had a Virgo ex tell me she loved me after snuggling but I simply wasn't there yet. I cared a great deal for her and she was the only one but "Love" is a big word I will simply not use easily, especially the closer people get to me. It needs a tested bond of trust, of support and being there for someone.
You failed that test when you overreacted and called the thing off.
Do not disregard her wishes and call her anyway. She will contact you when she is done churning over her thoughts. Show some self-dependency.
Yes, I agree with the others. Caps are very slow in relationships and it takes us a while to analyze how we feel about someone. It seems that you were ready to convey your feelings, but perhaps she wasn't ready just yet. Sometimes people just aren't on the same timeline. Maybe you were ahead of her and she wasn't quite there yet. You didn't say how long of a time frame there was (maybe I missed it), but things that happen really fast are pretty scary to me. Too much, too soon reads false. So, if she felt pressured, her gut instinct would be to shield up and run to get away from the pressure. It's overwhelming and it's scary so it ignites the fight or flight phenomenon.
Maybe if you honestly look at it and admit to her that you got caught up with your feelings and reacted on them way too soon and realize you didn't give her time to think or feel or react, then she might give you another chance. Just point out where you were wrong (not saying you are, jsut a figure of speech) in a self reflective and genuine way, she may relax and take you back. HOWEVER, you can't do stuff like this again, just enjoy the time together and not think so much. It will take her even longer to get there now, but if she gives you another chance, be prepared to wait a long while so that she can see there isn't going to be a repeat of your behavior.
Seems like your insecurities ruled your actions and feelings and you became clingy and needy. Cap women need strong, independent, confident and secure men. The first sign of neediness too soon will drive us away. We don't want to be responsible for your emotional side. We're not comfortable with it.
For what it's worth, I think you are a sweet man and very kind as well as sincere. Be that!!! That's what she was attracted to, so be the man who got her attention in the beginning.
And patience.....be patient and non pressuring.
Good luck!
Oh, and since you're the same age bracket as me, I'd like to point out that the older we get, the more cautious we are and the more guarded we are and the less likely we are willing to just jump into things. We've made mistakes before and we don't want to repeat them. So, naturally, older people are going to take things slower in relationships. Especially, if we've been divorced. We don't believe in everlasting love anymore, we believe in a proven, consistent, patient type of love.
*just my own experiences*
+1 on what Truecap said.
You don't come off as a douchebag but your uncertainty did drive you to ask for validation where she wasn't ready yet.
If you ever wonder with a Cap if you should do something now, or wait a bit... always exercise patience. Winking
What are her placements other than Cap sun?
Personally, I say give her some time and then try again when she has had a chance to cool down.
I don't mind persistence within reason.
You are Taurus and that's pretty much Cap kryptonite; that and asking Cap to verbalize feeling before she's ready and acting the fool when she can't Winking