My cap fellows out there.. How to stop fighting
This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by HellothereAriesx3 on Saturday, December 5, 2015 and has 21 replies.
I love my cap
Man to death.
I'm an Aries sun, Scorpio moon. We're always fighting atleast that's what he says. What can I do on my part that it doesn't happen again.
Man to death.
I'm an Aries sun, Scorpio moon. We're always fighting atleast that's what he says. What can I do on my part that it doesn't happen again.
It's just petty arguments honestly & he usually starts it. He says its building up on him. & then he starts throwing cruel words like maybe we should end this or get out my house. He takes things to the extremes. Apparently I don't listen to him. He's called me clingy when I barely spend time with him, we live together & so he's gone for 8 hours a day. When he comes home he plays xbox with his friends until 4 in the morning does it when he wakes up to. A couple of times I asked for us to spend time & when I want him off of it he gets pissed that I don't let him do anything. I give him enough space. He's gone to work for most of the day, I try not to spend time with him when he's home or text or call when he's with his friends so j don't see how that's clingy?
He does have anger issues that I do needn't to get him on meds for. But all of the blame goes on me. It's a power struggle. I love him, I just want to stop the arguments & I want him to chase after me
He does have anger issues that I do needn't to get him on meds for. But all of the blame goes on me. It's a power struggle. I love him, I just want to stop the arguments & I want him to chase after me
I also need to learn not to back talk & listen because I know that's what makes things worse.
That's why I give him space & go to another room so he can unwind.
I would like to join but that was if his friends weren't involved. I've never played call of duty so obviously I'm going to suck. I'd rather practice on my own first. But even that would be being up his ass.
I would like to join but that was if his friends weren't involved. I've never played call of duty so obviously I'm going to suck. I'd rather practice on my own first. But even that would be being up his ass.
Because he wants to play with his buddies -__-
& theure all good I need practice I can't just have his jerk friends make fun of me
& theure all good I need practice I can't just have his jerk friends make fun of me
This is combo with your other post makes me think he is on his way out of the relationship. Talk to him - that's the only way, imo.
Posted by HappyCapper
This is combo with your other post makes me think he is on his way out of the relationship. Talk to him - that's the only way, imo.
*This in combo with
So you think he's ready to end things?
Maybe. He does not seem happy to me. But the only way you will find out for sure what his deal is is to sit down and have a serious conversation with him about your relationship. Imo.
The impression that you give off based on your few responses is: impatient, quick to make assumptions or think things are wrong, worrier, afraid to communicate. Overall, nervous frantic energy.
Now, obviously I don't know you. At all. But, if you think the above might be true, then my advice is to take some deep breaths, get some perspectives from friends who may be able to show a different reality to your situation, and communicate your feelings with the party directly involved.
However, from your posts, it sounds like the guy who is your focus is lazy and will not do things unless it's on his own time. Not sure how much he could even bring to a relationship if something did happen between you two. My friend just had a child with a cap that is sort of like this. It was a challenge to even get him to search for a job as he was unemployed...and she just started her third job and has to do mother duties, as well. She says she's happy with him, but from a practical standpoint, there are better options out there. Love isn't all that practical, though, I suppose.
Now, obviously I don't know you. At all. But, if you think the above might be true, then my advice is to take some deep breaths, get some perspectives from friends who may be able to show a different reality to your situation, and communicate your feelings with the party directly involved.
However, from your posts, it sounds like the guy who is your focus is lazy and will not do things unless it's on his own time. Not sure how much he could even bring to a relationship if something did happen between you two. My friend just had a child with a cap that is sort of like this. It was a challenge to even get him to search for a job as he was unemployed...and she just started her third job and has to do mother duties, as well. She says she's happy with him, but from a practical standpoint, there are better options out there. Love isn't all that practical, though, I suppose.
Posted by champrangerPosted by HappyCapper
This is combo with your other post makes me think he is on his way out of the relationship. Talk to him - that's the only way, imo.
Pisces Mars?click to expand
Oh yes!
Posted by champrangerPosted by HappyCapperPosted by champrangerPosted by HappyCapper
This is combo with your other post makes me think he is on his way out of the relationship. Talk to him - that's the only way, imo.
Pisces Mars?
Oh yes!
Suddenly, I understand OP's frustrations more LOLclick to expand
HEEEY!!! *makes scary face*
That's what I thought! I feel like he shows more emotion when I ignore him!
The user who posted this message has hidden it.
Ooo! You hid that, did you? Coward. LOL
Posted by champrangerPosted by HappyCapperThe user who posted this message has hidden it.
Ooo! You hid that, did you? Coward. LOL
LOL see my last comment about hoping you didn't see LOLclick to expand
I did. LOL
My dad is Aries. Myou son is Aries. Both signs are opinionated. Both want things done their way. Both think they know best. It's a battle for control. There's always a type of tension.
Posted by HellothereAriesx3
That's why I give him space & go to another room so he can unwind.
I would like to join but that was if his friends weren't involved. I've never played call of duty so obviously I'm going to suck. I'd rather practice on my own first. But even that would be being up his ass.
Ask him to teach you. Caps love to teach people things.
I have a feeling he feels pressured and nagged. When that happens to me, I shut down.
Yeah it's until 4 am every night he's on his phone or playing his game. If I interrupt it I sound clingy.
We don't have dinner together he's the type that sits infront of the tv or does his own thing while eating.
Ow. You have my condolences HelloAries.
From his perspective, I suppose the 8 hours of work and wanting to relax when he gets in, is true. However, the gaming till 4am AND getting all defensive when you want to spend time with him, that can not fly.
With Aries and Caps, when we confront someone about anything, even something mundane, the way to say it, can come off to most as blunt and an attack on their character, etc. Irritating, I know, but thankfully you have a Libra Rising to help find a winning compromise that let's both you avoid wounded egos or hurt feelings.
When he get's home, have a snack or something ready if you're there before him. Greet him and tell him you appreciate the work he does and the last he did for you that you can remember. After an hour, ask him if he could show you what's so fun about Call of Duty. To show you how to play and ask him what he likes best about over any other games he plays.
Then you can have yourself so me-time and leave him to his own devices. If he doesn't show you how to play that night, he should give you a date where you two can play together.
Now when you're playing together, that you enjoy spending time with him and that you wish you could spend more with him. Hopefully, he'll get the message and up his game and spend more time with you.
From his perspective, I suppose the 8 hours of work and wanting to relax when he gets in, is true. However, the gaming till 4am AND getting all defensive when you want to spend time with him, that can not fly.
With Aries and Caps, when we confront someone about anything, even something mundane, the way to say it, can come off to most as blunt and an attack on their character, etc. Irritating, I know, but thankfully you have a Libra Rising to help find a winning compromise that let's both you avoid wounded egos or hurt feelings.
When he get's home, have a snack or something ready if you're there before him. Greet him and tell him you appreciate the work he does and the last he did for you that you can remember. After an hour, ask him if he could show you what's so fun about Call of Duty. To show you how to play and ask him what he likes best about over any other games he plays.
Then you can have yourself so me-time and leave him to his own devices. If he doesn't show you how to play that night, he should give you a date where you two can play together.
Now when you're playing together, that you enjoy spending time with him and that you wish you could spend more with him. Hopefully, he'll get the message and up his game and spend more time with you.
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