My wonderful Cap.

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by wagtail on Monday, June 17, 2013 and has 5 replies.
Welp, my cap and I have been thru the ringer this year.
As some of you know we have taken steps to get help and deal with things professionally. So far, he has successfully completed rehab and is in an ongoing share house programme...
We also have had counselling and I have to say, I highly recommend!
Even just learning how to communicate with each other, taking a step back and coming from a place of love it's hard to remember but the work has been with it.
Anyways, I just need a quick perspective please,
We went and visited his Pop the other day.. The old guy is a bit of a champ and a cheerful person but has severe dementia.
So he loves a chat but its a bit like Dory from Finding Nemo.
If there's a pause or lull in convo we end up back at the beginning - intro, weather and offering tea etc
It really got my Cap down.
He was fighting tears when we left, and today in group therapy he told me he broke down and felt so embarrassed....
I rang and just offered support, cliche really, just how good it really is to feel e,options without self medicating or blocking with alcohol but I know how hard it is to fight addiction and stay sane...
We are meeting tonight for a movie.
Should I say anything again? Or if he says something will he appreciate my stumbling attempts at comfort?
I'm going with ignore and not deal with it for a week or two... Maybe after a little more time / distance from his emotions.
I'm not sure Clueless, I'm mindful if he wants to wallow he can...
I mean, I don't want him feeling pressured to emote when it's really a newish thing for him.
And the fact that he told me and hen took my phone call might be enough for now. So I'm not sure..?
This is what I sent him in email.
He cancelled the movie date, in favor of an AA meeting with his group. Fabulous! =) good move, he needs the support.
My loved one,
I'm so sorry to hear how badly you really are hurting.
These emotions are feeling so intense I think because they have been suppressed for so long.
It's completely natural to feel sorry for yourself too. It's been tough and hard holding them in all this time.
Part of the healing process is experiencing things you haven't allowed yourself to do in the past.
Without self medicating obviously, and that is gona be so difficult.
I get that,
I support you and I love you immensely.
I sense things are going to be rocky.
I want you to know I won't give up. On us. On me either.
I am so incredibly proud and moved to see your strength and personal courage in all of this.
Nobody makes me happier.
You are not alone.
At least on this end, you have a friend in me.
Maybe try letting him know that while you dont want to make him feel smothered, you are there for him when he needs you.
???
And your words of encouragement are perfect.
great job to you both
Thanks guys, yeh he responded well.
Late night text saying he loved both me and my support.
Also to always reach out and talk to him, he wanted to make sure it's not all about him...
So I feel like I did the right thing, thanks again lovely Caps!