Need Help with Understanding my Capricorn Male
This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by aries415 on Monday, September 19, 2011 and has 16 replies.
"I am busy myself so I normally text him, but I have learned I get results when I call him. "
Are you venting or wanting advice?
Are you venting or wanting advice?
I am sorry houston I wasn't finish writing.
Some of aries women are so damn hot headed and needy....Why don't you focus on yourself and your life. He gives you love, affection, hugs, intimacy, despite his busy schedule he seems to try and share himself with you despite all the hard work and hours he's putting into his own life and the man needs a few days to relax and be with himself and do his own thing and you flip out PLUS you're getting free rent on top of that I man damn what do you want his bone marrow too?
nag nag nag....find something else to do with your time.
nag nag nag....find something else to do with your time.
It sounds like he has a very active, busy life. It's best to let him be and let him come around when he has a free moment. If he has multiple properties, a job, and parents to tend to, BUT still makes some time for you, consider yourself lucky. Plus, he offered one of his houses to you...to me, that's plenty to show he cares for you. Have you and him discussed where your relationship stands? It doesn't sound like it. Before you really dig yourself a hole, I'd ask him out to lunch or dinner, whichever he can fit into his schedule and ask him to talk about it. Don't give him an ultimatum or force him to tell you how he feels....if he's ready to tell you, it'll come out easily. If he's not sure or ready to tell you where you stand in his life, then don't force it out of him or you may be looking for another place to live.
I don't know if it's a Capricorn trait or just all men in general, but they don't feel like they have to talk to someone everyday. As a woman (Taurus), I am perfectly fine talking with my significant other every other day.
I don't know if it's a Capricorn trait or just all men in general, but they don't feel like they have to talk to someone everyday. As a woman (Taurus), I am perfectly fine talking with my significant other every other day.
I got a chuckle out of that one, too, Elle.
Yeah I've done that cooking cleaning you the king crap and that's recipe for disaster and mistreatment....My suggestion is to back off and go do your own life, he'll appreciate it more when he recognizes that you "GET IT", you get that he has a life and you are not nagging him to death about quality time but instead choosing to being self sufficient and independent, much better IMO than you trying to CONVINCE him and WIN his heart and affection through back rubs and foot massages and food especially if you don't know if your in a committed monogamous relationship.
He's yours, all you have to do is stop complaining, be patient and allow things to flow naturally. Now if you want to learn how to flip houses and maintain properties then of course extend some help b/c you'll both benefit from it. It's important not to over function with a man or he'll definitely feel you're desperate to keep him around and that is a recipe for DUMPED. LOL
For the record I like Cowpunchers advice been there done that and it doesn't work long term IMO or at the least if not done right it can be translated over to the other person the wrong way so be really careful about how much you go about giving to a man b/c he may not even want or need that from you which could lead to suspicion and guilt and neglect/disappearing acts, so how it's done is very important. Just be yourself and be patient and stay busy and only do something for a man if you don't expect anything back (ever).
He's yours, all you have to do is stop complaining, be patient and allow things to flow naturally. Now if you want to learn how to flip houses and maintain properties then of course extend some help b/c you'll both benefit from it. It's important not to over function with a man or he'll definitely feel you're desperate to keep him around and that is a recipe for DUMPED. LOL
For the record I like Cowpunchers advice been there done that and it doesn't work long term IMO or at the least if not done right it can be translated over to the other person the wrong way so be really careful about how much you go about giving to a man b/c he may not even want or need that from you which could lead to suspicion and guilt and neglect/disappearing acts, so how it's done is very important. Just be yourself and be patient and stay busy and only do something for a man if you don't expect anything back (ever).
Actually I like your advice but timing is very important and I don't think this man is there yet, that's all I'm saying so it could/would probably blow up in her face with that being said it's always up to the woman to make her own assessment on how much she should give without appearing over bearing or gullible or doormattish.
I don't think he needs her to DO anything besides be patient, focus on her own life, be understanding and give him some space when he ask for it. I'm sure he understands how to unwind and relax and that's what those 3 days are about, if he needed food or a back rub I'm sure he would be okay ask for that (just my opinion) he doesn't need a mama (he got a mama already), men don't wanna fuck mama, he wants a lover, a woman with a life who understand what he needs by his actions not by his words, either she get it or she don't, if she don't get it, she'll push, nag, moan and complain and she'll NEVER see him again just like all the other women who come to this board asking for help who did too much and talked too damn much about needs and future talk.
All she has to do is relax, get on with taking good care of herself and her life, focus on developing her life and be attentive when her man comes home to his darling to get some love and attention, it's not all that hard actually, we women just have to stop being so needy and clingy and focusing so much on analyzing a man's behavior, no man wants a begging controlling ass woman hovering over him every time he needs a few hours/days to himself especially after he's given her plenty of his time and attention and she still looking for more, I mean damn does he have to take out a sewing kit and sew himself to her right hip and put extra legs on her pants and follow her around like some wimpy no life regular yes whatever you like type of guy.
She has a phenomenal man and she better understand how to treat that kind of man or get dumped...
I don't think he needs her to DO anything besides be patient, focus on her own life, be understanding and give him some space when he ask for it. I'm sure he understands how to unwind and relax and that's what those 3 days are about, if he needed food or a back rub I'm sure he would be okay ask for that (just my opinion) he doesn't need a mama (he got a mama already), men don't wanna fuck mama, he wants a lover, a woman with a life who understand what he needs by his actions not by his words, either she get it or she don't, if she don't get it, she'll push, nag, moan and complain and she'll NEVER see him again just like all the other women who come to this board asking for help who did too much and talked too damn much about needs and future talk.
All she has to do is relax, get on with taking good care of herself and her life, focus on developing her life and be attentive when her man comes home to his darling to get some love and attention, it's not all that hard actually, we women just have to stop being so needy and clingy and focusing so much on analyzing a man's behavior, no man wants a begging controlling ass woman hovering over him every time he needs a few hours/days to himself especially after he's given her plenty of his time and attention and she still looking for more, I mean damn does he have to take out a sewing kit and sew himself to her right hip and put extra legs on her pants and follow her around like some wimpy no life regular yes whatever you like type of guy.
She has a phenomenal man and she better understand how to treat that kind of man or get dumped...
Oh and I'm not any more bitter than you are common but then again let me go get my ass in the kitchen and cook my man some dinnah lol
LMAO Oh I got a man and he can cook too (:
I won't get into who gives more and who takes more, I feel this man is making a mutual effort given the little bit she's exposed about their relationship together, she just wants more b/c maybe she feels insecure when he's away and that's something she'll have to work on because that's a self esteem issue more than an issue of him doing something deliberately to hurt or trigger her into panic mode or make her feel neglected when he's gone.
I won't get into who gives more and who takes more, I feel this man is making a mutual effort given the little bit she's exposed about their relationship together, she just wants more b/c maybe she feels insecure when he's away and that's something she'll have to work on because that's a self esteem issue more than an issue of him doing something deliberately to hurt or trigger her into panic mode or make her feel neglected when he's gone.
I don't think it's the right time for her to intervene and push herself into his hobbies; she should have her own. Focus on your kids, Aries, and giving them a stable life despite the divorce you're going through. That's enough drama to deal with right now - don't worry about how much or how little attention he's giving you. He's given you a home for you and your kids free of charge - that speaks volume.
Find other hobbies to keep yourself busy. Capricorn or not, men like to see that women have their own hobbies so they know you aren't dependent on them for your happiness.
Find other hobbies to keep yourself busy. Capricorn or not, men like to see that women have their own hobbies so they know you aren't dependent on them for your happiness.
Totally agree with HP and PD....No one wants to be responsible for someone else's happiness, make your own sun come up in the morning, you'll be fine by yourself for a few days without him, you'd be dumping a great guy, I don't know too many guys that let a person live rent free on his property with no strings attached +1 for you and for him, the time you have apart from him will give you time to get yourself sorted out, you seem to have a lot on your own plate. Rent is free now but it may not stay that way, going through a divorce separation, kids to take care of plus yourself...you got a lot going on in your life.
I'm sure I'll get bashed for this but I don't care.
It sounds like there is some sort of a relationship and I don't think she is being unreasonable or clingy to expect to hear from him once a day..just to check in and say how is your day or some other little nice thing. You know "share" your day.
Just because she likes that interaction does not mean she does not have a life or not keeping herself busy. In good relationships there is usually some kind of daily interaction...be it a kiss, touch or if not living together at least a call or text.
That does not mean she is insecure!! It means she most likely likes to at least hear his voice or "connect" more frequently. Believe it or not, some find this romantic, and it keeps the fire burning, I don't think she is looking for emotional rescue. She just likes him and wants to connect...I get it.
Its ok to do that without being "needy"
Why is it when a woman wants to talk to her man once in a while it's perceived as needy? If it was the opposite would the man be needy?
I repeat...its just connecting, plain & simple.
Next time you talk to him tell him that you would love to hear from him more often.....that it makes you happy.
It sounds like there is some sort of a relationship and I don't think she is being unreasonable or clingy to expect to hear from him once a day..just to check in and say how is your day or some other little nice thing. You know "share" your day.
Just because she likes that interaction does not mean she does not have a life or not keeping herself busy. In good relationships there is usually some kind of daily interaction...be it a kiss, touch or if not living together at least a call or text.
That does not mean she is insecure!! It means she most likely likes to at least hear his voice or "connect" more frequently. Believe it or not, some find this romantic, and it keeps the fire burning, I don't think she is looking for emotional rescue. She just likes him and wants to connect...I get it.
Its ok to do that without being "needy"
Why is it when a woman wants to talk to her man once in a while it's perceived as needy? If it was the opposite would the man be needy?
I repeat...its just connecting, plain & simple.
Next time you talk to him tell him that you would love to hear from him more often.....that it makes you happy.
But that's her. That is what she needs, I don't think women realize how smothering we can be, wanting connection is fine but being zeroed in on it like it's a life line is not fine. If she fall apart after 3 days of no contact then something is very off.
Why are you starting a thread about being in a relationship when you're not sure you still are? What happened, did he come back?
I'm an Aries sun, moon and I have to say you sound pretty high maintenance and emotionally frantic. I got exhausted reading your posts. Calm down or you'll drive him away. Earth signs are laid back and take their time. Their lives are not consumed with overt displays of passion like fire. What you get in return is someone solid, consistent and could help balance out your energy. Just don't be so pushy and demanding. I like Cow puncher's suggestion of making a lunch or baking something while he's working. It shows you are considerate of his needs which are quite basic when it comes to Earth.
I'm an Aries sun, moon and I have to say you sound pretty high maintenance and emotionally frantic. I got exhausted reading your posts. Calm down or you'll drive him away. Earth signs are laid back and take their time. Their lives are not consumed with overt displays of passion like fire. What you get in return is someone solid, consistent and could help balance out your energy. Just don't be so pushy and demanding. I like Cow puncher's suggestion of making a lunch or baking something while he's working. It shows you are considerate of his needs which are quite basic when it comes to Earth.
"So yes I was being selfish, hot tempered, and I guess that I wanted his bone marrow too..lol"
LMAO!!
I can understand where you are coming from but I don't think a text every day is really needed when you know he's truly went out of his way to accommodate you and your children, he's loving when he's with you and for the most part you have his support emotionally, mentally, physically but when you push for more it comes across as your happiness is dependent on what he's doing and not doing which relates over as super needy, I AM NOT IMPLYING THAT YOU ARE NEEDY, I feel I need to clarify my last few statements from yesterday.
I really was saying certain BEHAVIORS translate over to the other person as no lifer, clingy, needy, not happy or secure unless I call you every day and b/c you're not calling or text messaging me everyday I begin to fall apart and feel insecure and desperate inside when in reality you most likely are secure about yourself but it's the attitude of entitlement that can translate over to the other person as I'm not secure UNLESS you do this or that and no matter how secure you may actually be if your attitude and behavior display that your not secure unless he's contacting you every day then that's how it'll appear to the other person.
Hard as it may be try to give the guy some trust especially if he's proven himself to be a dependable source of comfort, I don't think you want to ruin your support system by pushing too hard and inappropriately placing pressure on him to do something he may not be comfortable doing (right now), if he needed to speak with you every day he would do that and the fact that he isn't means he's okay with less contact with you at the moment but that could change as the relationship develops
LMAO!!
I can understand where you are coming from but I don't think a text every day is really needed when you know he's truly went out of his way to accommodate you and your children, he's loving when he's with you and for the most part you have his support emotionally, mentally, physically but when you push for more it comes across as your happiness is dependent on what he's doing and not doing which relates over as super needy, I AM NOT IMPLYING THAT YOU ARE NEEDY, I feel I need to clarify my last few statements from yesterday.
I really was saying certain BEHAVIORS translate over to the other person as no lifer, clingy, needy, not happy or secure unless I call you every day and b/c you're not calling or text messaging me everyday I begin to fall apart and feel insecure and desperate inside when in reality you most likely are secure about yourself but it's the attitude of entitlement that can translate over to the other person as I'm not secure UNLESS you do this or that and no matter how secure you may actually be if your attitude and behavior display that your not secure unless he's contacting you every day then that's how it'll appear to the other person.
Hard as it may be try to give the guy some trust especially if he's proven himself to be a dependable source of comfort, I don't think you want to ruin your support system by pushing too hard and inappropriately placing pressure on him to do something he may not be comfortable doing (right now), if he needed to speak with you every day he would do that and the fact that he isn't means he's okay with less contact with you at the moment but that could change as the relationship develops
"He will tell me that he was busy, but I am too, however, I make time to talk to those that matter even if it is a text."
- Do you live by this principle with even your family and close friends? If so, do you get upset or irritated if they don't reciprocate on a daily basis?
Regarding learning his trade (remodeling houses) - only do it if you truly have an interest in it. If you do it as just a reason to be around him, both of you will grow weary of it.
- Do you live by this principle with even your family and close friends? If so, do you get upset or irritated if they don't reciprocate on a daily basis?
Regarding learning his trade (remodeling houses) - only do it if you truly have an interest in it. If you do it as just a reason to be around him, both of you will grow weary of it.
Leave Your Feedback
We'd love to hear your thoughts! If you're not logged in, you can still share your feedback below. Your input helps us improve the experience for everyone. To post your own content or join the conversation, please log in or create an account.
Related Topics
i don't know too much about reading a chart....but here are both our charts: me
@littlearcher
Joined: Sep 09, 2011 · Topics: 3 · Posts: 171
Does this mean anything? I'm not familiar w/ this aspect of astrology. I recently found out his birthtime and looked on
@MiaSangria
Joined: Mar 30, 2011 · Topics: 26 · Posts: 275
Hi friends, I've been watching this msg board for nearly two years. And this is my first post. I'm wondering if it is
@scorpionizing
Joined: Sep 19, 2011 · Topics: 1 · Posts: 3
Quick glance at birth charts for those that take that into account.... Me Him Sun
@PiscesPerception
Joined: Sep 19, 2011 · Topics: 1 · Posts: 25
Fuck your stupid party! No one thinks I'm cool anymore? I'll show them! I'll do something so cool, I'll be all over t
@jru2
Joined: Feb 25, 2009 · Topics: 91 · Posts: 706
@1two3go
Joined: Mar 09, 2011 · Topics: 58 · Posts: 1179
Hi, can anyone tell me if its going to be a bad idea to take initiative to start a conversation with a Scorpio? i took t
@fallforyou23
Joined: Jul 21, 2009 · Topics: 17 · Posts: 85
Statistics suggest that marriage involving 1 or both members in the military have a higher divorce rate. I wonder wh
@krysrenee7
Joined: Feb 26, 2008 · Topics: 522 · Posts: 8735
Apologies to fellow fish, if my threads get too much just slip something into my tank :P I guess this is pt. 2 to the l
@iceredrobot
Joined: Aug 29, 2011 · Topics: 102 · Posts: 3351
okay, serious question, aquagalls always try to be in control dominating (though they fail) and serious quite often, I h
@KingOfAries
Joined: Apr 27, 2011 · Topics: 69 · Posts: 1289