NO no no...don't do this to me

So I figure I'll give an update. I've been quiet this week because I'm still digesting what happened earlier in the week.

The Cap and me (Taurus, in case you didn't know) had an overnight trip to San Antonio for business. All of our business trips, whether a day trip or overnight, have been fairly innocent (except the one trip where he played the sappy romantic songs...there's a thread about this somewhere on here).

After our business meeting, our clients invited us to go out to dinner down at the Riverwalk and we accepted. We met the clients down there around 8pm and have a couple of drinks with them and dinner. The clients leave around 10:30pm but we stay and have one more drink - which I thought was fine because we've done this before. We walked down the streets of the Riverwalk and ended up in a jazz club. I like music so didn't think anything about it. We're there hanging out for about an hour and I turn around at one point and catch him looking at me. I turn around quick - what can I say - I didn't know what else to do. I just continue to listen to the music. A few minutes later, I feel him walk up behind me but I figure he was trying to get around me to sit in the booth, so I shift over. Instead, he took my hand, turned me around and I look at him confused. He bent over to kiss me!

This is where I'll get some wrath from someof you: I didn't push him away; I kissed him back.

But here's the part that tears me up because there is nothing I can do about this. After he kissed me, he asked "Why didn't I meet you 6 years ago?" He got married 6 years ago, so that's what he was referring to. I was stunned, I was speechless, so I walked outside to get some air. He followed - he had to, I drove after all.

He kissed me (and I kissed back) one more time and that time I told him "we can't do this" and I walked to the car. We were silent on the drive to our hotel rooms. Our rooms were adjacent so we went up the elevator together, he walked me to my room. Before I opened my door, he kissed my neck - just the mere feeling of his breath there was sexy, but I told him again that we couldn't do this. I went into my hotel room...alone. I proceeded to cry myself to sleep because I am so attracted to this guy but I'm not ready or willing to wreck his marriage. I guess you could say his marriage is already wrecked given that he kissed me, but I don't want to be the "other woman".

The last few days have been tough.

Nice, congrats.

Question: Confused, are you dating a married man?

No, I guess my story wasn't clear enough.

^ No it was I figured you weren't just wanted to double check.

I would have slapped the mess out of him.

And you were obviously doing some serious flirting for him to even get the "go" on kissing you. Something doesn't seem so innocent here because that was a big risk he took, and he would have have only done that if he was "sure" about something. It seemed you lured him and he fell for the bait.

Yall both are a piece of work. His poor wife. He will never leave her, so you are really just wasting your time.

I don't think there's anything she can do about it. He will have her on the side and proceed his life with his wife, until houstonpeach says its enough and he'll just cut her loose. She'll try to get her revenge, as if a) she didn't know any better in the first place b) she didn't have this board to warn her of the outcome.

I don't have sympathy for people that get themselves in these situations. That goes for both you and him. He is really an idiot.

Posted by lnana04
I don't think there's anything she can do about it. He will have her on the side and proceed his life with his wife, until houstonpeach says its enough and he'll just cut her loose. She'll try to get her revenge, as if a) she didn't know any better in the first place b) she didn't have this board to warn her of the outcome.

I don't have sympathy for people that get themselves in these situations. That goes for both you and him. He is really an idiot.

You guys are missing the point. I don't plan on being the other woman hence why I told him more than once why we coudln't do what he was doing. Tell me where I said I wanted to be "on the side"

No, he is not my boss. I'm higher on the food chain than he is. I'm his legal and HR advisor and I work 60+ hours a week so it's boring one you say. And yes, his poor wife, that's a big reason why I haven't pursued him - BECAUSE HE'S MARRIED and I don't want to be the other woman. And truth be told, I'm quite pissed at him right now because he did kiss me as if he could get away with cheating.

I guys entertain me, keep up the bashing.

*so it's NOT boring as one of you say

crap,

*YOU guys entertain me.

Exactly PD!

She flirted with him enough to give him the green light to make a move, he did, she didn't pull away, yet we are missing the point that she supposedly won't go further, as if damage hasn't already been done. Okay.

Btw, you don't have to say you want to be on the side, to be on the side. You couldn't control your actions up to this point, so you've only made it that much harder for yourself down the line.

"And truth be told, I'm quite pissed at him right now because he did kiss me as if he could get away with cheating."

It's good to see that you guys are bypassing the fact that I DO NOT want to be involved with him if he's married.

I wasn't excited that he wasn't wearing his ring in a previous post, in fact, I believe I made a joke about it. I'm pretty shy by nature, so I can tell you that I have not given him any flirts - at least none that I blatantly am aware of.

When he said "why didn't I meet you 6 years ago?", I rolled my eyes and shook my head followed by "we can't do this".

I'm done defending my actions or assumed actions. Night night.

Thanks QS lol!

*shaking my head* @ houstonpeach. Good thing is, yall didn't go further than the kiss. No flirting that you are blatantly aware of? Yeah right. You gotta cut all of that out now. Try to put an end to whatever is going on, gotta clean up your end of the mess.

Yep, I understand I should have stopped him the first time and yes, I agree I'm at fault for what happened. This incident happened last Monday evening. On Thursday, I submitted a request to be transferred to another office. I have no further intentions of being involved with this man. It's a recipe for disaster and I've failed myself by allowing what happened to happen. He doesn't know I've asked for this transfer nor do I plan to tell him about it. Even if he's unhappy in his marriage, neither of us should have done what we did.

You don't want to be the other woman? Earth to HOUSTON! You are already the other woman!

So Let Me Get This Straight.....None Of You Are Human? You've Never Had An Encounter Where The Chemistry/Attraction Was There Only For You To Discover The Circumstances Didn't Permit/Allow You To Act On Those Feelings? Gimmie A Break. he Is Without Sin Let Him Cast The First Stone I Believe The Saying Goes. Stop All This Jungle Justice Judge/Jury Antics On Houston. She Didn't Ask to Be Blasted. She Merely Indicated What Happened. WOW, Hypocrites, SMH.

On Another Note, Houston The Capricorn/Taurus Attraction Is Seriously Mind Blowing On All Levels. I Can Relate to What You Outlined Here As I Am Sure Some Of These Chicks Can Very Well Do So Too. People Just Get Caught Up In Trying To Appear Morally Correct Or Impress Others As If-As If Their Character Is Spotless. It Isn't Our Job To Pass Judgement On You And It Really Isn't Our Job to Advise You. We Can Merely Offer Our Opinions Or A What I'd Do If The Situation Warranted My Participation Kinda Thing and In Doing So Some People Will Still Lie. Lie To Themselves, Lie To Those Around And Just LIE For The Sake Of Lying.

Now Before I get SOme Kind Of Snide, Silly or otherwise Catty Bratty Comments/Remarks-Allow Me To Save You The Trouble Of Doing So....Clearly I'm Not INTERESTED Nor Do I Give A________Well You Know What The Blank Is For!

Houston, Save Yourself Some Drama, Pain, Heartache, Headache, Tears, Fear, Angst, Confusion, Frustration. let Him Skadaddle Right Back To His Wife. Apparently She Was Lucky Enough to Meet Him 6 yrs Ago. You Will meet Someone It Just Might Be Another Taurus. I Once Fell In Love With One And We Are Cordial To This Day! He's Not Married, Just Decided To Live A Life of Religious Purity And Devotion To God. I Hope You Don't Let these Broads Or Anyone Make You look Down On yourself! Be Encouraged! Be Smart And Be WISE!

Noire, in this situation the circumstances didn't stop them from acting on their feelings.

Instead of trying to assume what we are, why didn't you just give Houstonpeach a few pointers of what to do in this situation because your passion about it says that you've been in her shoes.

Besides, the main issue here was don't try to play people by leaving out details of your involvement in leading this man on. Its not judging, its just clearly not right and it never ends well was the point.

@Houstonpeach, that's good that you see the both of your actions clearly now. I'm surprised by the transfer, but that's good you are doing what's best for you. I wish you luck!

Is That All You Could Come Up With? A Corny One Liner About Capitalization? NEWSFLASH ELLYMAE TRY AGAIN, LOL THANKS FOR THE Flimsy Attempt At A joke Or to Look Cute In front Of Your Followers/Peers

Someone has a stick up their ass...

Lnanna04, You Are Objective As I Mentioned In The Past Which is Good! I like That. I Wasn't Trying To Assume Anything About Anyone. I Just Thought It Was Clearly Unfair That All of Yall Pounded On her Like That And That People Were here Being Hypocritical When If You Dig In their Dirty Shoe Closet You Will Find A Couple Of Worn Pairs. I Did Offer Some Perspective If You Re-read What I Posted. I Tried To Be Empathetic To Her Situation And Not Try To Hurl Nasty Comments Like Others Did Because Clearly It Won't HELP her. NOONE HAS THE RIGHT TO BELITTLE OR PUT DOWN A PERSON! So All These Wannabe's YES I SAID Wannabe's As In Wannabe SAINTS that are AIN'Ts need to dismiss themselves unless they can offer Houston Something Positive. Time Is out For People Being Silly, Dimwitted, Rude, And Down Right Mean For Whatever's Sake. What I May Post May Cut Like A Razor But When You Act ugly uh Uh it Ain't Cute. Let's be Our Sister's Keeper, Not her Destroyer! I'm Just Saying.

HA HA HA Another Stupid Corny Comment From A Little Girl With Nothing Better To Add Positive. WOW! I'm Loving IT And I Bet Life For Them SUCKS! I Recommend They BOTH GET A LIFE! P.S. They Are On Sale Today In Honor Of COLUMBUS DAY! Ding Sing Sing, Try Again!

Lol That Stick That Got You Constipated, here's Some Metimucil, CHEW On IT>>>>>>

don't do married no matter what the chemistry is...Married is OFF LIMITS

HP I failed to say that you made the right decision, I hope you can transfer without any issues and move on with your life. You really did dodge an emotional bullet, may not feel that way now but later when the fog clears you'll be thankful for not pursuing a relationship with this man who lacks all kinds of boundaries and would only give your life grief and emotional conflict in the end. It's a lose situation for you anyway you work it.

Posted by noirecapricornprincess
Lol That Stick That Got You Constipated, here's Some Metimucil, CHEW On IT>>>>>>

We know who's packing... shove it a little deeper for good merit!

Yes we all have a pair or two of dirty shoes but none of mine were married. I only did dirty and unmarried!

Transferring? Yeah I dunno about that. Are you actually just hoping he will leave the wife and transfer too. You gotta be honest with your real motivations here. There are things such as phones and computers and cars these days that still give you and he access to one another. He ain't gonna drop it, I think you are leading him on personally under the guise of 'you doing the right thing'. Call me judgemental or insightful. You should'nt have to transfer anywhere. Is this just all part of the chase me even though I'm the one who is doing the right thing and transferring. The moment you kissed him you were in it. I got a feeling you are just fooling yourself now and hoping like hell he pursues you. Is this really about your sense of self worth? That a married man might leave his wife for you.

You come here asking and so you have to be prepared to swallow what you read :-)

I HAVE NO HOPES THAT HE WILL LEAVE HIS WIFE. God people, I'll just fucking delete this post. YOu all seem to know me so well....

Claps For Ellymae And Her Raggedy Friend LilDol!!!! Clueless Twits. Get Lildol Some fiber Clearly The b*tch Is Frustrated!

Houston Again I Say Don't Allow Anyone To Make You Feel Bad, Especially These Dizzy Broads On Here Who Sitting At Home Wishing They Had Some Sort Of Life Instead Of Watching Maury And Jerry Springer And Then Come On here Like They Are Dr. Effin Phill. In the Final Analysis You Know What Decisions Or Actions You Will Take So Even If We Post All The Pointers And Tips In the World It Won't Amount To Much. A Married Man Is Only In It For The Physical And Nothing More. If He Claims His Marriage Is On The Rocks Or That His Wife Isn't A Good One, Just Ask Him Why He Still Goes Home Every Night? Because Every Problem Has A Solution And He Is There Because He Wants To Be Otherwise He Would Terminate The Marriage. Don't Settle For 2nd Best Dear!

I see what MissBizzare is saying. I wouldn't say there's a need for a transfer, and just upping and leaving without even telling him CAN come off as a hope for a chase. If HP talk it out with him atleast before transferring he will understand and won't bother her, but to just leave will get his curiosity going.

I think you should talk to him HP.

Ya know what, I had to come back in here because I remembered reading someone mention something about boundaries. I just saw that Tiki mentioned it, and it made me think of my Taurus friend who I could not seem to create any boundaries with. It was like it was nearly impossible.

Anyway, before my leo moon takes over, I now understand what the both of you probably went through. The chemistry IS strong, and is some of the most boundary-less, blurry, tune the world out, warm and fuzzy, slow and simmering chemistry I've had, so I now understand the feeling. Even If you hold back on taking action, the feelings still seem to take over, and the feelings are mutual. Its almost like a no-win situation. The control part of me is flipping the inner switch off when I know someone is attached, but you got caught up just a bit and was too into that place to completely turn around. I get it.

Maybe one day you will find someone similar to him HP. Yeah, the transfer is probably best now that I think about it. It will all just build on the inside of you both by seeing each-other everyday. Again, good luck.