People are so different once...

...they get into a relationship...I'm visiting my bestie after a period of over 8 months...and I mean, she's been in a relationship before. However, this is her first "serious" one...he's the "one"....anyways, I have no idea why I feel like she's different now...I mean I'm not jealous or nothing...but I've noticed a difference for some reason...it's not the "same" like when she was single and all...I mean, I'm happy for her and stuff but c'mmon, why do I feel like I'm just not THAT important no more...I always thought that no matter what, you never and don't forget your past relationships, atleast I wouldn't....for eg: we were watching a movie together and she kept texting in b/w and I was like...great! we were in a restaurant and were nearly done eating and she kept texting him and I'm thinking, Girl, will you stop ignoring me😕 as if I don't exist no more....I'm not jealous but it hurts when you are with someone (even a friend) and you don't have their "entire" attention...Idk why but that got me really low today...😢 sorry, just felt like this was the only place I could just open up about this...gosh, I'm sitting here, typingn from her comp, in her living room with her, her mom, and her aunt around me and am nearly in tears...I should stop, lol or they may doubt something I'm typing is making me all teary....anyways...thx for listening🙂

...great! we were in a restaurant and were nearly done eating and she kept texting him and I'm thinking, Girl, will you stop ignoring me as if I don't exist no more....I'm not jealous but it hurts when you are with someone (even a friend) and you don't have their "entire" attention...Idk why but that got me really low today...

Oh dear ...

Okay, this seems like the perfect case of infatuation within a relationship 😉 She probably hasn't been with a guy who has treated her this well and now she is always available to him regardless to who is around her. This hasn't happened to me before with any of my friends but I've heard the same kind of problem from other friends.

You wish that things were the way they were before because thats what you are use to. Also, you wanted to spend time with her but its difficult to do that when her head is someone else, right?

"You wish that things were the way they were before because thats what you are use to. Also, you wanted to spend time with her but its difficult to do that when her head is someone else, right?"

You got it right on, Cappy! I mean, I'm here for just the few days and then I fly back for school. And, it's like impossible to "spend time" with her b/c that stuff is always on her mind. Now that they are getting engaged (it's "planned" in our culture), it's like all they talk about in the house...I'm like GEEZ...right now we're inthe same room, getting to bed (well, I'm here and she's gonna get some reading doen) and she's texting him or whatever..seriously, I feel like I have lost her...like we'll prolly never have that again...maybe I'm just being a pesimmist or whatever, but it just hit me in the head today if you know waht I mean...

And the thing you said about no other guy treating her like this before....well, idk much about that, but they were talking today on the phone and I was besides her and I was like, gal, grow up! Like why are you acting like a teen in a relationship! You both are way older to "talk" like that😕 Idk, it was weird...she was excited and talked completely like she was ina relationship for the first time or whatever!😕 Idk, I was getting the impression over teh past couple of months that we kinda didn't talk as much and such but I didn't expect it to be sooo bad especially when I was here to live with her for the couple of days....idk, I've been low today and I really just wanna go home to my parents now (which I'm tomm anyways)....thanks for listening Cappy🙂

I know, I get it. Both men and women get all giddy and such when a new love interest comes into their lives and they are trying to be the best they can be. Right now the guy she is about the marry is the center of her world right now. When the "honey-moon phase" is over, she'll come back down to earth ... whether she wants to or not. It happens to many who invest alot in someone and forget about other things.

When he starts doing things to annoy her, watch and see who she will be calling ... he best friend whom she is ignoring 😉 Yep, it will happen ^_^.

"I feel like I have lost her"

Hey Sarasa,

I feel and understand what you're saying but I think that if you're here with her, it's because you haven't lost her. She's going through life and all it's different stages and that's a beautiful thing. What will set you apart from the other acquaintances in her life time, is your will to still be around her through those times, your ability to still be around her even when it's not so beneficial to you. A best friend will do things that others don't want to do, that's what sets him/her apart. She may not see it at this very moment, blinded by her situation and it's fine, she's only human but one day she will.

I also think that the attitude towards a friend has to be that of assistance. She's your friend and you have to walk with her and she with you, walk and keep walking as life goes on. You may want to remain exactly where you were both at years ago and sort of trying to pull her back into that position, wanting to re-experience how things were. So since she's moving while you're holding your stand, you may feel like she's moving away from you and you're loosing her. You shouldn't try to hold on to what you've had and instead walk with her to experience new things, work on getting new ones just as beautiful as the ones you've had. As long as you walk together, you will always be friends and as you go the friendship will get stronger and stronger but ... walk, don't be afraid to keep walking, don't get too comfortable in your past position. It's fine to keep walking, you are not loosing anything.

I truly understand what you're going through though. My best friend got married years ago and he's now expecting his second child. At times I wish that we could hang around like back in high school and college when we had no worries and just ourselves to care about but see these type of thoughts can only slow your friendship down and even break it, they're destructive. It was more beneficial to include myself in his new life. He's growing right in front of my eyes and building more references, our friendship get stronger and stronger as we go. Now I'm not only his good friend. I became a good friend of his family as well. He's wife and daughter trust me as much as he does. Not too many people have that and I think that's what sets me apart.

Ctoun, I know I'm not that important for her. However, I don't want to see it rubbed into me literally like that-texting ppl when eating together...that's the point....I know and accept that I'm not THAT importnat. But what hurts are her actions that make it so obvious.

Ray, thanks for the insightful post. I'll always be around for her, no matter what=) But it just hit me this time, the "difference" I mean. And I wanted to just "vent" it out?😕 Thanks again🙂

We did chat quite a bit last night actually and me being the honest cow, I told her that it looked like she was still in her "goo-goo-gaa-gaa" stage of a relationship....She took it well, she calls the relationship different, I'm like sure! LOL....Oh well, I'm just glad we did that, that's what I was "missing" all w/e!🙂

But where's the balance? I mean Sarasa it's not like you bug her all the time, right? you're in town temporarily and stuff...the whole thing spells inbalance and insecurity from my view.
I have friends that have done this before and really drives me up the wall but Leos and Pisces I've noticed do it more

"the whole thing spells inbalance and insecurity from my view."

I'm anything but insecure. I know love life takes over friendship BUT don't make it so obvious via your actions, especially when I'm visiting her after that long.

Hey Evan😉