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Mar 12, 2013Comments: 44 · Posts: 353 · Topics: 16
Me:
pisces sun
taurus moon
mars &venus in aquarius
ASC and pluto in scorpio
Hers:
Sun in capricorn
moon in aries
mars in cancer
venus in aquarius
ASC and pluto in scorpio
I'm in a pretty confusing situation right now. I've partially moved on, but I want to get another chance to do right the things I did wrong the first time around.
TL;DR: girl lost interest because I rushed things and believes friendship would be best, what to do now to get interest back?
We met on 30 November of last year. when we did,we instantly had a connection, and became very close. during the christmas break she went back home to europe, and we kept in touch via skype. Our feelings for each other deepened as we got to know each other. When we both came back to college, things were great, except for the fact that I was rushing things. I made a huge mistake by trying to be romantic by showing her a letter I wrote a while before I met her.. She put it aside and told me that she felt uncomfortable because it was so soon to be acting like an official couple. I was uneasy at first but I made the adjustment and we became happy again for 2-3 weeks. Then came the struggle with the amount of time we spent together..In one of her past relationships she lost all of her friends because her boyfriend was extremely possessive. I felt upset every time she said that she wanted to go hang out with her friends because I felt she was spending more time with them than with me. I tolerated it because I didn't want her to feel like she did in that past relationship. Around the 4-month mark, we were becoming distant and having a lot of back-and-forth disagreements, and one or both of us would feel unhappy at the end of the night. We both could feel the distancing, but didn't address it (I didn't because I felt that all we needed to do was have more fun together). She asked to meet up with me one day and when I did she told me she felt unhappy and that she wanted the relationship to stop...I asked her what was wrong and she replied saying that she felt I loved her more than she loved me..And that sometimes she would be happy to see me, and sometimes she felt as if we shouldn't be together. I honestly felt the same about being hot and cold, but I told her that we liked each other the same amount, but it was too soon for me to be so expressive with my feelings...
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Mar 12, 2013Comments: 44 · Posts: 353 · Topics: 16
she also said that when she would text me saying she was somewhere, she was just telling me where she was, and that it wasn't an invitation, and It got to the point which she felt smothered..I was oblivious to that because she never addressed it directly, and I told her that she didn't tell me it was a problem until the very end, and that I was disappointed and that it wasn't really my fault we were in that position. I told her not to give up that easily, and that we would always work through the problems together. She asked for a two-week break to see how she felt and to have space because she felt smothered. I gave her the space, with no contact. I ran into her once, and she was happy to see me. Wednesday before spring break we met up and talked. I told her everything I thought of as a solution, but she told me that she had made her decision when we first had our talk, and that she didn't want a relationship. She thought her feelings would come back but she didn't have feelings for me anymore because she ???lost chemistry?? with me, and her friends told her that we are only two out of billions of people. She also said that she wasnt going to force herself to like someone even if that person was really good-looking to her (which she says I am). It hurt because I knew we didn't have a connection anymore but my feelings were still there, and I was kind of surprised to see her acting like she didn't want to hear any of what I had to say..I asked if she saw us getting back together in the future if things changed, and she said yes, but in the future. I told her that we actually may not get back together because Id be graduating in 1.5-2 years and I'd want to be in a strong enough relationship to withstand that milestone. I didn't want to say that but its too late now to take it back.. She said she would give me space and wouldnt talk to me until I was ready, and that maybe we could be close friends or fall out of touch. I agreed to it reluctantly, saying that maybe we could reconnect as friends and see where things go. I had a hard time dealing with it because I know she still cares about me, and she texted me happy birthday on the 8th, wishing me the best and to have fun over spring break. she was pretty much sending me away from the relationship "with a packed lunch and umbrella for the rain." I was a little sad because we went so well together and made each other so happy and now we arent together anymore, like the flip of a switch. I told her the solutio
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Mar 12, 2013Comments: 44 · Posts: 353 · Topics: 16
solution to feeling hot and cold was to go out on more dates and do enjoyable things (which we didn't do much of, we both willingly moved to intimacy with one another), but she said that I couldn't change her mind. Recently she had been trying to keep in touch with me by sending me a random picture from the internet over facebook, and I replied with one myself the next night. The night afterwards she gave a one-word response of ???awesome??, to which I left alone and I havent had any communication with her since. I dont plan on replying to any more of her messages or texts if she sends me any. Ive deleted all of our convos and pics, but not her number. Im not going to be using it but im sure I wont be tempted to talk to her any time soon. Honestly I do want her to change her mind because Im aware of the mistakes I've made and want to fix them, but I dont know what the best method of action is to be; either NC for a while, or stick with her as her friend and show her changes instead of just saying them (rushing, giving her space, and being a little less emotional). What'd be the best thing I could do when it comes to turning things in my favor, if there IS anything I can do? I know my feelings about her after I go back to college at the end of spring break wont be gone completely, and I wont be able to handle seeing her with someone else very well.
I know its a long topic..but im kind of confused and of all the girls I have met she has made me the happiest. Im not sure what to do if there is anything I can do, and any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated!
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Mar 12, 2013Comments: 44 · Posts: 353 · Topics: 16
I understand not very much can be done now, but I am wondering about the possibilities of something in the future?
Im sorry for the length of text without paragraphs as well, I forgot to add some space in between to make it easier to read..
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Jun 18, 2009Comments: 0 · Posts: 2999 · Topics: 75
From what I gather, you 2 didn't actually get along as well as you keep saying. You contradict yourself.
I wouldn't hold my breath over this. I don't like that she's leading you on to think you guys would ever evolve into something more again but I think she's just trying to let you down easy. She let you sit for 2 weeks in torture for some space when she had already made up her mind. Not very nice. You do come off as kinda clingy and smothering though. Maybe she was onto something that you should look into.
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Apr 07, 2011Comments: 1685 · Posts: 9901 · Topics: 213
And thats how Im currently dealing with a Taurus with moon in Aries..pff moon in Aries chicks, always coming my way!
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Oct 25, 2010Comments: 2 · Posts: 8822 · Topics: 132
This sucks, but I think this is her way of complete honesty and I really think you should move on.
I dont think you've done anything wrong at all, so dont try to do any changing . Its not worth if....just find a girl who appreciates you.
I hate when we make up our minds like this but usually its final and not much that can be done. She doesn't want you to change, which is why it usually becomes so final because the pros and cons are weighed, and neither of you should have to alter yourselves for a relationship.
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Mar 12, 2013Comments: 44 · Posts: 353 · Topics: 16
I understand, that is true I did let her leave on her terms.
It's true as well, I am better off spending time looking for and being with someone who appreciates me... Maybe I just have one-itis right now haha
Not really sure if it matters but we are still connected via Facebook.. I stay away from interacting with her but she goes to my page and looks at my pictures, 'liking' them here and there.
My friend just uploaded a bunch of pics from my birthday and party and my ex got to looking at them before I did.. -_-
When it comes to severing ties and falling off the radar, should I just remove her from Facebook, and tell her I'm not up for friendship?
I don't know how to go about it since we both had an agreement. I feel like there isn't much I can do other than try turning back time and saying 'no' to friendship.