Pisces Man, Capricorn Woman Advice (kind of long.)

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by Placidd on Tuesday, March 12, 2013 and has 17 replies.
Me:
pisces sun
taurus moon
mars &venus in aquarius
ASC and pluto in scorpio
Hers:
Sun in capricorn
moon in aries
mars in cancer
venus in aquarius
ASC and pluto in scorpio
I'm in a pretty confusing situation right now. I've partially moved on, but I want to get another chance to do right the things I did wrong the first time around.
TL;DR: girl lost interest because I rushed things and believes friendship would be best, what to do now to get interest back?
We met on 30 November of last year. when we did,we instantly had a connection, and became very close. during the christmas break she went back home to europe, and we kept in touch via skype. Our feelings for each other deepened as we got to know each other. When we both came back to college, things were great, except for the fact that I was rushing things. I made a huge mistake by trying to be romantic by showing her a letter I wrote a while before I met her.. She put it aside and told me that she felt uncomfortable because it was so soon to be acting like an official couple. I was uneasy at first but I made the adjustment and we became happy again for 2-3 weeks. Then came the struggle with the amount of time we spent together..In one of her past relationships she lost all of her friends because her boyfriend was extremely possessive. I felt upset every time she said that she wanted to go hang out with her friends because I felt she was spending more time with them than with me. I tolerated it because I didn't want her to feel like she did in that past relationship. Around the 4-month mark, we were becoming distant and having a lot of back-and-forth disagreements, and one or both of us would feel unhappy at the end of the night. We both could feel the distancing, but didn't address it (I didn't because I felt that all we needed to do was have more fun together). She asked to meet up with me one day and when I did she told me she felt unhappy and that she wanted the relationship to stop...I asked her what was wrong and she replied saying that she felt I loved her more than she loved me..And that sometimes she would be happy to see me, and sometimes she felt as if we shouldn't be together. I honestly felt the same about being hot and cold, but I told her that we liked each other the same amount, but it was too soon for me to be so expressive with my feelings...
she also said that when she would text me saying she was somewhere, she was just telling me where she was, and that it wasn't an invitation, and It got to the point which she felt smothered..I was oblivious to that because she never addressed it directly, and I told her that she didn't tell me it was a problem until the very end, and that I was disappointed and that it wasn't really my fault we were in that position. I told her not to give up that easily, and that we would always work through the problems together. She asked for a two-week break to see how she felt and to have space because she felt smothered. I gave her the space, with no contact. I ran into her once, and she was happy to see me. Wednesday before spring break we met up and talked. I told her everything I thought of as a solution, but she told me that she had made her decision when we first had our talk, and that she didn't want a relationship. She thought her feelings would come back but she didn't have feelings for me anymore because she ???lost chemistry?? with me, and her friends told her that we are only two out of billions of people. She also said that she wasnt going to force herself to like someone even if that person was really good-looking to her (which she says I am). It hurt because I knew we didn't have a connection anymore but my feelings were still there, and I was kind of surprised to see her acting like she didn't want to hear any of what I had to say..I asked if she saw us getting back together in the future if things changed, and she said yes, but in the future. I told her that we actually may not get back together because Id be graduating in 1.5-2 years and I'd want to be in a strong enough relationship to withstand that milestone. I didn't want to say that but its too late now to take it back.. She said she would give me space and wouldnt talk to me until I was ready, and that maybe we could be close friends or fall out of touch. I agreed to it reluctantly, saying that maybe we could reconnect as friends and see where things go. I had a hard time dealing with it because I know she still cares about me, and she texted me happy birthday on the 8th, wishing me the best and to have fun over spring break. she was pretty much sending me away from the relationship "with a packed lunch and umbrella for the rain." I was a little sad because we went so well together and made each other so happy and now we arent together anymore, like the flip of a switch. I told her the solutio
solution to feeling hot and cold was to go out on more dates and do enjoyable things (which we didn't do much of, we both willingly moved to intimacy with one another), but she said that I couldn't change her mind. Recently she had been trying to keep in touch with me by sending me a random picture from the internet over facebook, and I replied with one myself the next night. The night afterwards she gave a one-word response of ???awesome??, to which I left alone and I havent had any communication with her since. I dont plan on replying to any more of her messages or texts if she sends me any. Ive deleted all of our convos and pics, but not her number. Im not going to be using it but im sure I wont be tempted to talk to her any time soon. Honestly I do want her to change her mind because Im aware of the mistakes I've made and want to fix them, but I dont know what the best method of action is to be; either NC for a while, or stick with her as her friend and show her changes instead of just saying them (rushing, giving her space, and being a little less emotional). What'd be the best thing I could do when it comes to turning things in my favor, if there IS anything I can do? I know my feelings about her after I go back to college at the end of spring break wont be gone completely, and I wont be able to handle seeing her with someone else very well.



I know its a long topic..but im kind of confused and of all the girls I have met she has made me the happiest. Im not sure what to do if there is anything I can do, and any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated!
I understand not very much can be done now, but I am wondering about the possibilities of something in the future?
Im sorry for the length of text without paragraphs as well, I forgot to add some space in between to make it easier to read..
From what I gather, you 2 didn't actually get along as well as you keep saying. You contradict yourself.
I wouldn't hold my breath over this. I don't like that she's leading you on to think you guys would ever evolve into something more again but I think she's just trying to let you down easy. She let you sit for 2 weeks in torture for some space when she had already made up her mind. Not very nice. You do come off as kinda clingy and smothering though. Maybe she was onto something that you should look into.
Cap with moon in Aries?...good luck mate! buy lots of aspirines, you're gonna need them Big Grin
Sorry, but this doesn't sound good at all.
We Cap ladies need our SPACE and can't stand clingy guys! Also, friendship first is a MUST in our
romantic relationships. (I am writing in absolute terms because this is the TRUTH!) Also, once
we make up our minds that's it's over, then it is OVER.
You Pisces guys are so SWEET and can make a good match for us, however; in fact, I was engaged to a
fish guy. But he was an atypical Piscean -- very ambitious, a go-getter (Harvard MBA, in fact). He
was so busy himself that he didn't have time to smother me.
I would say that if you can be very patient and give it a lot of time -- and give her her SPACE -- AND
you can be satisfied with friendship in the meantime, then just wait it out. Eventually she MAY
change her mind. But do not push for anything; just enjoy her companionship on a platonic level for
now. Be there for her when she needs a shoulder but also keep yourself BUSY. She will see how ACTIVE
you are, which is definitely attractive to us Caps.
Good luck! Winking
Your idea/plan of wanting to do more enjoyable things with her in the future (and see where it went from there) was actually a pretty good idea, you just made the mistake of TELLING HER you were intending on doing that, you see..Aries moon people are very much 'in the spur of the moment" type of people, they dont like planning fun, so you should have just kept quiet about it and actually DO IT and SUPRISE HER, without any expectations of an outcome at all, if you want to revive the good chemistry you had with her, you have to go back to basics, be the fun guy you used to be back when you met her but without any agendas or particular plans, just spread the good energy and make sure the vibe youre giving off says: "Im having the time of my life even if we are not together" that way she will start getting attracted to you again..
Thats how Cap girls with moon in Aries work, in a nutshell (I was in a relationship with one for 3 years..though Im glad Im not with her anymore Tongue)
And thats how Im currently dealing with a Taurus with moon in Aries..pff moon in Aries chicks, always coming my way!
Posted by 88
He should move on to a nice girl who appreciates him, period. Not be used as a shoulder to cry on for no one.
Aquas are good for friends and can take it, not Pisces, we are too sensitive to hang in there and see you guys caps go out with other people in the mean time we are dying inside.
Placidd there are millions of women who will love you and appreciate you for who you are, no need to change for no one as they will never change themselves for Us.

88Pisces w/scorp moon ------->I am an All or nothing woman. You want me or dont want me. you dont want me, then you cant have a single piece of me or use me for a shoulder to cry on. ffffffff this shhht.. lmao hahhahaa.




You obviously have some kind of comprehension problem.
Reread what I wrote. I said that SHE could use HIM for a shoulder to cry on, not the other way around.
This sucks, but I think this is her way of complete honesty and I really think you should move on.
I dont think you've done anything wrong at all, so dont try to do any changing . Its not worth if....just find a girl who appreciates you.
I hate when we make up our minds like this but usually its final and not much that can be done. She doesn't want you to change, which is why it usually becomes so final because the pros and cons are weighed, and neither of you should have to alter yourselves for a relationship.
Thanks everyone for your sympathy and advice..It makes me feel so less alone than before..yall are awesome no matter what smile
I was on the Pisces thread! Haha and I did want to see this from both perspectives to weigh my options or drag things out (to be blunt).
She was amazing to me when we did have good times.. I never mentioned it because I thought it was irrelevant.. But we had amazing chemistry, communication, and senses of humor that clicked well.. We could laugh and talk about anything. Even going for a walk on a sunny day was enough to call a perfect date. But Anyways... In my past relationships none of the girls would tell me what I had done wrong that made them feel the way they did, so I never really learned about myself when it came to my relationships. At the least I have to thank my ex for having the courage to tell me... I'm hoping at some point I'll have unconditional love for her--not to sound creepy-- because she helped me become a better person. When I think about it it makes me feel a little nostalgic and teary-eyed, but i guess all I can do now is think of it as a beautiful memory..
Because of how happy we made each other during good times, and how well we went together.. I feel like she is someone worth putting effort into for the long run.. Not sure if that's my head or my heart talking but that's how I feel right now... I realized that I made the same mistakes in my past relationships, and I feel almost convinced that I can "right my wrongs" with her, but yall were right too: she did make up her mind. As much as I want to stick with her through everything with hopes that she will realize that I am someone she can take seriously in a relationship, I know myself well enough to say that I would nearly parish if she fell hard for someone else in the meantime. But on the other hand I believe that if I am by her side and give her companionship which is something that I have heard caps say is a necessity in a relationship, ALONG with space and time... That and being the person I was when we met, minus what she didn't like (which to me isn't that much of an adjustment), I feel like things would change. I understand that there isn't anything that can be done now or in the near future, but I've been curious to know if a cap would reconsider after enough time has passed and they start to understand the real person behind the eyes they look into.. seeing favorable things they haven't seen before in the past..
^^^^lAST message is the same, but had a HUGE typo in it..

....Juxtaposing this to what I said above, I'm studying mechanical engineering at university we both attend, which is a very good field, and i'm devoted to my studies, albeit a little clingy to my mate.... I know at the least she was helping me feel better, but she could also see that I have a good future ahead of me.. With that said with above paragraph.. Would that help my case if I continue to be busy and devoted instead of always wanting to be around?

And for my Venus in Aquarius.. I don't really understand why it will be easier for me to be okay? I've tried to understand my planets and signs, but i also noticed I have square Venus and Pluto.. Both in fixed signs? Wouldn't that make it harder for me to let go?
I know for a fact that my Taurus moon is kicking my @55 right now, because it is stubborn as FUHHHHHH! Tongue
Posted by lnana04
This sucks, but I think this is her way of complete honesty and I really think you should move on.
I dont think you've done anything wrong at all, so dont try to do any changing . Its not worth if....just find a girl who appreciates you.
I hate when we make up our minds like this but usually its final and not much that can be done. She doesn't want you to change, which is why it usually becomes so final because the pros and cons are weighed, and neither of you should have to alter yourselves for a relationship.



It's a back-and forth in my mind between that and all of that junk I've said...Tbh thats one of the things that clouds my thought, when it comes to right and wrong.
I understand, that is true I did let her leave on her terms.
It's true as well, I am better off spending time looking for and being with someone who appreciates me... Maybe I just have one-itis right now haha
Not really sure if it matters but we are still connected via Facebook.. I stay away from interacting with her but she goes to my page and looks at my pictures, 'liking' them here and there.
My friend just uploaded a bunch of pics from my birthday and party and my ex got to looking at them before I did.. -_-
When it comes to severing ties and falling off the radar, should I just remove her from Facebook, and tell her I'm not up for friendship?
I don't know how to go about it since we both had an agreement. I feel like there isn't much I can do other than try turning back time and saying 'no' to friendship.
Yeah..I had that happen to me before by an ex, and it was pretty hurtful. I blocked her afterwards, but recently became facebook friends with her last week haha.
I will leave it as it is.
I found out how to hide all of my posts, or posts my friends tag me in so that she cant see it but still be my friend. she would get upset because the pictures she's seen wont be there anymore, but im not a drug that someone can use whenever in however much dosage he/she wants. I'll only have it to where she can only see the things Ive posted in the past..almost like freezing my account.
In the end I might just leave it up there altogether, im gonna sleep on it and see how i feel next morning.
Im thankful you understand my fixation, cheekyfaerie..some people I ask around campus where I go to school just laugh at me..I get hurt but I use my own subtle way of telling them to eff off whenever that happens :/
Thanks! I've never heard of a cappy changing his/her mind unless it was for an extremely grandiose reason.. At least for now, I want to move on so I obtain the emotional fortitude to deal with her meeting with someone else. I know she really cares about me, but not in the way I want.
I want to move on to *AT THE VERY LEAST* obtain the emotional fortitude for whenever (if) she meets someone else. I do want time to pass by between us, so that we can have a fresh start when we meet again (not assuming we will get back together). but I dont even know whether or not I will meet someone better for me, who makes me so much more happier. only the future holds the answer..
I know that she has made me the happiest by far in all my relationships, and that's why I want to move on..to see if anyone else can make me feel the same (which is possible). and by that time at the very least she and I can be friends.
but thats life I guess, its not a game that we can press reset..sometimes you get someone not suited for you, but you two go well enough together to stick around, and sometimes you get something you think is wonderful that slips through your fingers because you dont know how to grasp it in your hands the right way. It's a bitter sweet learning experience.
Thanks for the advice, even if you dont feel like giving me any for reasons you stated above. I appreciate it nonetheless; I know what to expect, and therefore prepare myself accordingly smile
thats okay, sometimes straightforward instructions are the best way to set someone straight smile
According to others my best bet is to appear unfazed, and to let her see that Im happy without her although she wanted to be friends. When she gets her 'fix' she might feel a little jealous (maybe) because Im having good times with her out of the picture, even if she said she didn't have feelings for me anymore, and possibly spark a new interest in time. I do realize I need to move on for the emotional strength and to see if someone can make me happier.
^^ I'll do that, so I can at least meet others who may want a shot at me. Tough road ahead of me because I always saw this girl as someone I want to be very serious with, but I'm hoping my luck/judgement/situation turns around soon smile