Posted by Cfett
I was unsure about having sex but we have been "talking" exclusively since February so I didn't feel like it was a mistake. I truly enjoy his company and he seems to genuinely enjoy mine as well. I want to ask him if he wants this to go anywhere outside of the bedroom, but I'm not sure how to ask without making him feel pressured.
I have known him for 15+ years, but we haven't remained in touch for all of those years, we only recently reconnected in February of this year.
Posted by LadyNeptuneWow that's really good advice!
He's known you for 15+ years. He should know whether or not he wants a relationship. The reason he's stalling is so he can continue having sex without commitment since he knows you well enough to know you won't fuck him casually.
Don't sleep with him again. If he presses you for sex tell him you thought about what he said and you agree that you both should take it slow.
Turn his words back on him.
Posted by Lala1393No one is insinuating that. What is being said is that if you as a woman want more than casual sex then it should be worked out before you start having casual sex.
It's a hook up.
Caps aren't the type to stop talking to you after sex if they really like you.
To all the people insinuating that sleeping with a man fast means that he won't date you, that's so untrue ...
I'm not gonna waste my time investing time with someone if I don't know if we connect well sexually.
Either the passion is there or it isn't. A man who doesn't respect a woman for something so silly is a man who doesn't respect a woman in the first place for doing what the hell she wants.
Her body, her choice.
However, I do believe that sleeping with a man you're not too sure about (mentally/intellectually/non-sexual connection wise) is dangerous. It means that your only foundation is the sexual aspect of your relationship ONLY !
So you cannot be surprised that that's his only Interest when talking to you.
Posted by bkbella86Posted by Cfett
I was unsure about having sex but we have been "talking" exclusively since February so I didn't feel like it was a mistake. I truly enjoy his company and he seems to genuinely enjoy mine as well. I want to ask him if he wants this to go anywhere outside of the bedroom, but I'm not sure how to ask without making him feel pressured.
I have known him for 15+ years, but we haven't remained in touch for all of those years, we only recently reconnected in February of this year.
So you don't really know him at all. Which is why I said you should have discussed all this before you went to bed. He will continue to have casual sex with you if you let it happen.
click to expand
Posted by Gob_ShiteI've known him since we were in 6th grade, we were best friends. We didn't talk much in high school, different extra curriculars/ "cliques" and he randomly messaged me on social media in February.
And you claim you've known him for 15 years?!
Posted by Lala1393We have undeniable chemistry. He has even pointed it out, we can sit around and laugh for hours, talk about anything that comes to mind and we do have a lot of trust in one another. He tells me things that he claims that no one else knows about him. He's an incredible person, I just hate to give up because I'm stubborn and hate waiting around for "possibilities".
It's a hook up.
Caps aren't the type to stop talking to you after sex if they really like you.
To all the people insinuating that sleeping with a man fast means that he won't date you, that's so untrue ...
I'm not gonna waste my time investing time with someone if I don't know if we connect well sexually.
Either the passion is there or it isn't. A man who doesn't respect a woman for something so silly is a man who doesn't respect a woman in the first place for doing what the hell she wants.
Her body, her choice.
However, I do believe that sleeping with a man you're not too sure about (mentally/intellectually/non-sexual connection wise) is dangerous. It means that your only foundation is the sexual aspect of your relationship ONLY !
So you cannot be surprised that that's his only Interest when talking to you.
Posted by LadyNeptuneI definitely understand where you are coming from, but....we have changed a lot over the years, I am an extremely hard working single mom, he's an extremely hard working man. Life has changed since middle school (where we met), so we had a lot of catching up to do.
He's known you for 15+ years. He should know whether or not he wants a relationship. The reason he's stalling is so he can continue having sex without commitment since he knows you well enough to know you won't fuck him casually.
Don't sleep with him again. If he presses you for sex tell him you thought about what he said and you agree that you both should take it slow.
Turn his words back on him.
Posted by CapzI hope that the story has a good outcome. Do you have any advice or insight?Posted by Cfetti like this storyPosted by Gob_ShiteI've known him since we were in 6th grade, we were best friends. We didn't talk much in high school, different extra curriculars/ "cliques" and he randomly messaged me on social media in February.
And you claim you've known him for 15 years?!click to expand
Posted by CfettWhich is exactly why you should get to know him before jumping into a relationship. Let him woo you. Have him qualify himself as someone you would even want to have as a bf.Posted by LadyNeptuneI definitely understand where you are coming from, but....we have changed a lot over the years, I am an extremely hard working single mom, he's an extremely hard working man. Life has changed since middle school (where we met), so we had a lot of catching up to do.
He's known you for 15+ years. He should know whether or not he wants a relationship. The reason he's stalling is so he can continue having sex without commitment since he knows you well enough to know you won't fuck him casually.
Don't sleep with him again. If he presses you for sex tell him you thought about what he said and you agree that you both should take it slow.
Turn his words back on him.click to expand
Posted by CfettYou didn't discuss enough which is why you're still confused. What the point of talking and not getting to the heart of the matter?Posted by bkbella86Posted by Cfett
I was unsure about having sex but we have been "talking" exclusively since February so I didn't feel like it was a mistake. I truly enjoy his company and he seems to genuinely enjoy mine as well. I want to ask him if he wants this to go anywhere outside of the bedroom, but I'm not sure how to ask without making him feel pressured.
I have known him for 15+ years, but we haven't remained in touch for all of those years, we only recently reconnected in February of this year.
So you don't really know him at all. Which is why I said you should have discussed all this before you went to bed. He will continue to have casual sex with you if you let it happen.
We did discuss things prior to Friday, he mentioned us dating.click to expand
Posted by CfettYou don't have to wait for anything if you let him know what you want. If he doesn't want that, I'm sure he will move on. It doesn't have to be hard.Posted by Lala1393We have undeniable chemistry. He has even pointed it out, we can sit around and laugh for hours, talk about anything that comes to mind and we do have a lot of trust in one another. He tells me things that he claims that no one else knows about him. He's an incredible person, I just hate to give up because I'm stubborn and hate waiting around for "possibilities".
It's a hook up.
Caps aren't the type to stop talking to you after sex if they really like you.
To all the people insinuating that sleeping with a man fast means that he won't date you, that's so untrue ...
I'm not gonna waste my time investing time with someone if I don't know if we connect well sexually.
Either the passion is there or it isn't. A man who doesn't respect a woman for something so silly is a man who doesn't respect a woman in the first place for doing what the hell she wants.
Her body, her choice.
However, I do believe that sleeping with a man you're not too sure about (mentally/intellectually/non-sexual connection wise) is dangerous. It means that your only foundation is the sexual aspect of your relationship ONLY !
So you cannot be surprised that that's his only Interest when talking to you.click to expand
Posted by Lala1393Thank you so much for being so kind to me.Posted by CfettOk.Posted by Lala1393We have undeniable chemistry. He has even pointed it out, we can sit around and laugh for hours, talk about anything that comes to mind and we do have a lot of trust in one another. He tells me things that he claims that no one else knows about him. He's an incredible person, I just hate to give up because I'm stubborn and hate waiting around for "possibilities".
It's a hook up.
Caps aren't the type to stop talking to you after sex if they really like you.
To all the people insinuating that sleeping with a man fast means that he won't date you, that's so untrue ...
I'm not gonna waste my time investing time with someone if I don't know if we connect well sexually.
Either the passion is there or it isn't. A man who doesn't respect a woman for something so silly is a man who doesn't respect a woman in the first place for doing what the hell she wants.
Her body, her choice.
However, I do believe that sleeping with a man you're not too sure about (mentally/intellectually/non-sexual connection wise) is dangerous. It means that your only foundation is the sexual aspect of your relationship ONLY !
So you cannot be surprised that that's his only Interest when talking to you.
I see. Just give him his space. He'll come around if he likes you enough. ?
Good luck ?
You'll be ok.click to expand
Posted by Lala1393Aren't you lucky Lala. Sounds like the exception not the rule. My point still stands.Posted by bkbella86Posted by Lala1393No one is insinuating that. What is being said is that if you as a woman want more than casual sex then it should be worked out before you start having casual sex.
It's a hook up.
Caps aren't the type to stop talking to you after sex if they really like you.
To all the people insinuating that sleeping with a man fast means that he won't date you, that's so untrue ...
I'm not gonna waste my time investing time with someone if I don't know if we connect well sexually.
Either the passion is there or it isn't. A man who doesn't respect a woman for something so silly is a man who doesn't respect a woman in the first place for doing what the hell she wants.
Her body, her choice.
However, I do believe that sleeping with a man you're not too sure about (mentally/intellectually/non-sexual connection wise) is dangerous. It means that your only foundation is the sexual aspect of your relationship ONLY !
So you cannot be surprised that that's his only Interest when talking to you.
Don't sleep with a man knowing good and well you want more. That's setting yourself up for failure.
Hum. I've always slept with guys that I wanted to date fast. Sometimes even the first night. Didn't stop me from dating them seriously for years, meeting the parents etc.
But I agree that guys sense when a woman desperately wants a relationship and has sex secretly hoping tbat he'll magically be enchanted by the p***y and will see her as wifey material afterwards.
THAT is setting oneself up for failure.click to expand