Should I Wish My Disappearing Cap a Happy Bday?
This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by GEMuine on Monday, January 7, 2008 and has 7 replies.
Signed Up: Feb 09, 2006
Comments: 0 · Posts: 847 · Topics: 15
Comments: 0 · Posts: 847 · Topics: 15
I agree with Cappywench. Forget him and move on. Should he resurface, kick his ass to the curb.
Signed Up: Feb 09, 2006
Comments: 0 · Posts: 847 · Topics: 15
Comments: 0 · Posts: 847 · Topics: 15
LOL, CW...
Gem, I just read your long story and it seems like you're entertainment to him? I think he has fun flirting with you and getting physical with you (seems pretty limited though) and then he goes back to his own world and once in awhile resurfaces just to get an ego boost. I don't really sense that caps are into long-distance anyway so maybe you should just get closure anyway you can and move on? Don't waste your good years in pursuit of an idea of being with someone in the future when they're living in the present and having a great time in relationships and life.
Gem, I just read your long story and it seems like you're entertainment to him? I think he has fun flirting with you and getting physical with you (seems pretty limited though) and then he goes back to his own world and once in awhile resurfaces just to get an ego boost. I don't really sense that caps are into long-distance anyway so maybe you should just get closure anyway you can and move on? Don't waste your good years in pursuit of an idea of being with someone in the future when they're living in the present and having a great time in relationships and life.
"My Cap and I have been in the talking/warming up stages since summer 06."
SINCE 2006?????!!!!! Oh, honey....listen to these nice ladies.
SINCE 2006?????!!!!! Oh, honey....listen to these nice ladies.
"I still don't want a relationship,..."
Then why are you still holding on to him???? I don't understand. And since 2006...hmmm, I would have been gone in 7-8 months.
If he hasn't wished you Happy Birthday, DO NOT WISH HIM. It has to work both ways.
Then why are you still holding on to him???? I don't understand. And since 2006...hmmm, I would have been gone in 7-8 months.
If he hasn't wished you Happy Birthday, DO NOT WISH HIM. It has to work both ways.
Disappearing isn't a cappy thing...it's a LOSER man thing. That's not a relationship. Any dude who doesn't acknowledge my birthday won't ever hear from me again. People I hardly know wish me a happy birthday.
"I've seen more explanations for Cap men pulling away and returning later on than any other sign."
I could make a list of men who have done this to me and my friends/family and it would most likely cover every sign of the zodiac. When a man is not "into" you, but wants to keep you around until something better comes along, this is what they do. Later, they may realize they've made a mistake, but if it's already been seven years, exactly how long are you going to give him to figure it out? You could miss out on Mr. Right while you're pining away for this thing that is going nowhere.
You can't be friends with him because you have feelings for him that, based on his behavior, he does not return. You will always be made to suffer in this relationship. Get some self-esteem, girl! Come on!
I could make a list of men who have done this to me and my friends/family and it would most likely cover every sign of the zodiac. When a man is not "into" you, but wants to keep you around until something better comes along, this is what they do. Later, they may realize they've made a mistake, but if it's already been seven years, exactly how long are you going to give him to figure it out? You could miss out on Mr. Right while you're pining away for this thing that is going nowhere.
You can't be friends with him because you have feelings for him that, based on his behavior, he does not return. You will always be made to suffer in this relationship. Get some self-esteem, girl! Come on!
" So my ex says he keeps me close but at an arms length so as not to let his emotions overpower what he KNOWS is good for him."
I think your ex is trying not to hurt your feelings by telling you the truth. I don't care what's going on with someone, or how busy they are, if they really want you in their life, you'll be in it. Period. They will make time for you. Especially on special occasions.
"I can also see where you may think I'm lacking, but I think it takes a true understanding of our entire situation to get 'us'"
That's exactly what I told my friends when I was being used as a doormat. We, as women, do not like to admit to ourselves when a man doesn't want us. We will make excuses for them like "he's keeping me at arm's length cause he's so busy" or whatever, because it hurts to face the facts. Still in the long run, it's much easier if you do so you don't waste your time and youth on someone who doesn't deserve it. If he can't keep in touch with you now, do you really think you'll ever hear from him again after he's in the NBA?
What I don't get, Gem, is if you already knew the answer, why did you come here and ask for advice? You had post after post of people telling you not to message him, but then you did anyway, so why ask for advice if you don't want it/aren't going to take it? I'm not attacking you, but we get post after post like this, with some really wise, insightful advice offered from people like P-Angel and CappieWench, and others, but more often than not, the poster never takes it and it's pretty much a waste of everyone's time.
I think your ex is trying not to hurt your feelings by telling you the truth. I don't care what's going on with someone, or how busy they are, if they really want you in their life, you'll be in it. Period. They will make time for you. Especially on special occasions.
"I can also see where you may think I'm lacking, but I think it takes a true understanding of our entire situation to get 'us'"
That's exactly what I told my friends when I was being used as a doormat. We, as women, do not like to admit to ourselves when a man doesn't want us. We will make excuses for them like "he's keeping me at arm's length cause he's so busy" or whatever, because it hurts to face the facts. Still in the long run, it's much easier if you do so you don't waste your time and youth on someone who doesn't deserve it. If he can't keep in touch with you now, do you really think you'll ever hear from him again after he's in the NBA?
What I don't get, Gem, is if you already knew the answer, why did you come here and ask for advice? You had post after post of people telling you not to message him, but then you did anyway, so why ask for advice if you don't want it/aren't going to take it? I'm not attacking you, but we get post after post like this, with some really wise, insightful advice offered from people like P-Angel and CappieWench, and others, but more often than not, the poster never takes it and it's pretty much a waste of everyone's time.
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