Stoic Capricorn

It is rumoured that capricorn folks are 'stoic' and insensitive. I find this most untrue. When we don't feel at ease with a few folks who want to dictate, watch or criticise us, we act as such. We may lack assertiveness, and act passive at times, which I admit. So to cover up we may give the impression that we are in control, thus look 'stoic'. How do other capricorns 'shoo' away those curious folks once and for all. An assertiveness of some sort is lacking for this cappy. Any insight?

None from this Cap... Assertiveness is definitely not a part of my makeup..lol. But it's a trait I wish I could acquire. I don't 'shoo away' undesirables in my life..just sort of 'tune them out'..ie.ignore.

Nothing could be further than the truth about a Cap BEING insensitive. It's just the opposite soooo you don't know how right you are! They just hide it very well that's all. Now WHY is the question? I think it takes a special kind of person to be able to see thru that.

"How do other capricorns 'shoo' away those curious folks once and for all." What do you mean by this? I couldn't figure it out? What is there to be "curious" about?

I love Caps. My mom is one, bro is one, dated quite a few and my planet Saturn is in one! I've been around them all my life perhaps that's why I can understand them so well. I can see right thru a Cap person. It amazes me at times what great pains they go thru to hide things when I know and "feel" just the opposite of what they're trying to "hide". They always have to put on a brave front for some reason.

I think it's fear that holds a Cap back. Not so much a lack of assertiveness. I'm head over heels in love with a Cap at this present time. In my presence he is so jovial, comfy and just himself. I asked him recently if he was this way at home with his wife and he said NO! So I can understand about a Cap feeling comfortable and trusting someone first. What saddens me about my friend (and him as well) is that he has to be stoic with his wife but not with me? THIS I find strange and definitely can't understand. Perhaps he's with the wrong person? Anyway his situation makes absolutely no sense to me cuz I know how truly wonderful he is. With me he can be himself. How awful that he has to hide himself from his own wife! What IS UP WITH THAT? Any Cap care to clarify?

I think you just need to find someone that you can trust as a friend first and build a relationship on that. Definitely has to be some who can UNDERSTAND you. I really don't think that a Cap lacks assertiveness as much as a truly trusting friend(s) that they feel comfy with and that they can be themselves with. But these friends hafta also understand them. This I think is key.

You have it in you. You don't need assertiveness just more understanding friends and people around you. Believe you me it's not YOU like you may think it's those AROUND YOU who don't understand or perhaps don't want to?!

12.89
I quote: "You don't need assertiveness just more understanding friends and people around you. Believe you me it's not YOU like you may think it's those AROUND YOU who don't understand or perhaps don't want to?!" unquote
I like what you said, and this is what I had been pondering about, in the back of my mind. I have had some very supporiting friends at different times in the past. It is just I made the wrong choice of friends - or so called friends, lately.
I guess it is never too late to start over, again with new hopes and perspectives. I can change myself, but not others.

Just Love Everyone and Anyone you want and ignore the losers who don't appreciate you. You will find yourself with a trusted group of true friends. Don't worry if it isn't given back, if they don't want it then its their loss. Be happy and people will be drawn to you. Some cappies are very socially outgoing - they don't necessarily go wild and laugh a lot but they give the right kind of attention and are witty and comfortable saying what they think.

For 168.187

I think YOU can change all you want but when people don't UNDERSTAND a person what's the point? It obviously shows that it's them and not you. Caps are unique. I think that's why they fascinate me so. Now here you are trying to change yourself so much when in reality it's the OTHER people who don't or refuse to understand/accept you. Why should you give so much effort when they are not willing to? Like I said I've been around Caps all my life and I can understand them very well. It pains me to read your response. Perhaps they were the wrong choice in friends OR perhaps it was just them? Now here's your quote....

"I guess it is never too late to start over, again with new hopes and perspectives. I can change myself, but not others."

The question that needs to be asked is...how many times does it need to fall on you? What makes you think THAT YOU are the one that needs to change? It sounds to me that it's the rest of society that needs to and not you. Please remember that when you're deciding on a friend(s).

I did not mean that I need to change to please those particular 'friends'. What I meant was as I cannot and will not fit in with those friends, I need to start looking for real friends, in another area, as these are rare around here.... Being a loner does not please a lot of people, because most cherish on 'gossip', and the more one poses an enigma to them the more they thrive on prying into their business. The perpetual curious eyes makes this independent cappy uneasy. As mentioned I am unable to change to suit the needs of the 'whole' society because most are as such. Moving to a different 'area' altogether with like-minded people, may be an option. Thank you for reminding me that it is not me, but them or rather allowing them to make me feel the way that I do.

I have a problem freezing up around people that are people whom I think could judge me or talk badly about me. I try to avoid situations where I will be put on the spot or thought of negatively.

I know what you mean but sometimes it is all in your head. If you let it get to you too much it can cripple you. Often the other people involved are thinking the same thing as you and are too scared to speak up as well. You can't know what is really on people's minds unless you ask and you can't worry about what they think of you, if they don't like you its their loss. As long as you are not being an arsehole of course.

I sometimes get taken as stuck up, but it is I just get scared to sound stupid or say something wrong.

This thread is a reminder of what I, as a true Cap, really am. I'm glad I'm not alone in this. Guess we Caps gotta stick together since we obviously seem to be the ones who understand each other....

It's not just a Cap thing believe me. I'm a Sag and I'M THE EXACT SAME WAY! Crazy but true. My Saturn is placed in Cap. As anyone who studies astrology can tell you (and I went to a spiritualist reader who did tell me this as well) that one's Saturns' placement will overshadow both one's "Sun and Mars" placements (both mine are in Sag) thereby giving them characteristics of that Saturn sign overall. With the exception of my love of study and travelling and my sense of humour I never did ever feel like a Sag? Must be a lot of truth in big daddy Saturn as he's known huh?

If it's true and it seems to be that way to me,I wouldn't change a thing about myself nor should any of you. It's like you all said...IT'S THEIR LOSS! And it is/would be!

caps. have been going thur a very hard
time, for at least a couple of years,
some astrologers have said, I think we are like every one else, but some just do not think so, I think in a way we do need to be more assertive.

Thanks for all the replies on caps,
believe me they need at this time,
caps. ARE very loving, trusting people.
THANKS TO ALL, and GOOD LUCK!

The woman who says she's head over heels in love with a Capricorn, should wake up, believe me he is LIKE THAT WITH HIS WIFE. Not just with you. Capricorns are connivers and they show their colors when it SUITS THEM. And I know from experience too, my brother is a Capricorn, my father is Capricorn, two of my exboyfriends are Capis and my current one. So I let's just be realistic here. Im sure his relationship with his wife is just fine and the way he wants it, so I would stay out of it and find your own man.

And why would a sensitive Pisces woman like yourself want to be with such a man like a conniving Cap? I would think a Pisces woman is much too sensitive to be with a Cap. By the way connivers can be found in the other 11 signs as well. I'm sorry you're stuck with a bad one. You sound a little bitter towards the Caps? Perhaps the Scorp and/or Cancer realm would be more suitable partners for you?

I agree. I think as a Cap, from personal refrences I find the peices sign to be pretty much mooches that rely too much on everyone else for EVERYTHING. From attention , personal gain,material objects,and some I know have drug and alcohol problems , and kind of phsyco in a sense depression. Maybe not all of them are this way, I am not judging all, just every piscies I know , which quite a few are like this.The typical Capricorn isnt into catering to the emotional bouts and someone riding on their coat tail and being used for someone else's gains.

Capricorn brother is a drug addict and physically abusive, my father, the Capricorn, was physically and emotionally abusive, My first ex boyfriend (Capricorn - January 9th was a gambler, major lost over $ 200,000 down in A.C., he was able to make a lot of money but couldnt keep it long. The next boyfriend I found out, was an alcoholic, had three kids with one woman and was screwing around with two other women and had another baby out of wedlock. His birthday is Dec 29. You are right though there are good and bad in all signs. Also, you are right I am sensitive when someone hurts me I prefer to be with someone who is nice and not a user of my money (which I have a lot of), or my emotions. I dont use or mooch off of anyone. I guess I just had the misfortune of living amongst a few bad Capricorns. Im sure there are good ones out there. Just like all the other signs.

Don't you feel YOU DESERVE BETTER #207? Sounds like it's been a rough living for you and I'm sorry to read that. If these men are giving you such a rough time why not distance yourself away from them (dad and bro included) and find someone that you can relate with and that'll treat you like you want to be/should be treated?

I think it takes "certain" kinds of women to be with the male Caps. Definitely ones that can understand their nature. Seems to me like their nature is not the type of nature you should be with? Like I said Pisces are to sensitive to be with Caps IMO.

Anyways I hope it gets better for you. Life is definitely to short and God knows theres plenty of men out there for us women to put up with miserable crap. The trick is...to find the right one?

everyone has there problems,
I think some of you are finding the WRONG CAPS. CAPS. are TRUST WORTHY
and they work hard, very hard!!!!!
just try reading one of caps. profile

any caps. going thru a real hard time?
like to hear from you's.

I had terrible last couple days.My younger sister got beat up by her live in boyfriend when she walked in on him w/ her friend. It makes me so mad that I cant do anything about it. She wont press charges or dump him. She blows off everyone telling her to kick him out. She has a 2 year old daughter{not his}.I just feel like hiring some very big guys to show him what its like to get beat up . Thats silly, I know,but I am furious. I cant stand the thought of someone being mean to her.Its all I can think about,and feeling bad for her and thinking how hurt she must be. Well, this is how my hard times last couple days.

Well i'm a virgo and i think caps are great..i can relate to them so good its like having a mirror image..perfect

~Merry Meet~ 67.241 ~ Bless your heart & your sisters. But know this, until she is ready and understands that she's not meant to be a boxing bag for ANYONE! There is really nothing you can do, but be there for her and offer what assistance & love you can while she comes to grip w/reality and see's that this is not a relationship for anyone. I know how it feels to want to help someone so bad that it hurts! But you are going to hurt yourself in the long run trying to change her when she's not ready to change. Victims of abuse have issues that they need to deal with and when they are ready and willing to face those issues they will. Hopefully for most they see that before they are maimed or killed. Offer your sister your love & any phone numbers/addresses to organizations that will help her to understand what she is going through and ways to remove herself from this bad situation and keep reminding her of her child. These children never ask to be put into these situations nor should they be subjected to them. It is an atrocity to keep a child in a situation such as this. I do hope and pray that she gets the help she needs and that all of you get through this without more scarring and pain.

~Merry Part & Blessed Be~

saggirl57 🙂

"Bless your heart & your sisters. But know this, until she is ready and understands that she's not meant to be a boxing bag for ANYONE! There is really nothing you can do"

Yes there is something that can be done. If you know your sister is being abused, you call the police and she won't have to press charges you are witness to a crime. If she has marks on her and she has made these statements to you and others, then by all means get involved. If she cares nothing for herself, then do it for the baby! The child is in immediate danger and should be taken out of that environment! She risks losing her baby if she continues letting this guy get away with his crimes. Assault and battery IS a serious crime and he should be punished for it. It isn't like a drug addict who is only hurting themselves. They are harming that child psychologically!!!

By all means, intervene on behalf of the baby! If she wants to be abused then that is one thing, but she doesn't need to subject her child to it. They(the baby) didn't ask to be brought into this sick demented realtionship. They shouldn't have to live like that.

I tell you what, having that guys a $ $ whipped is a great idea. I am not a advocate of violence, but if a guy ever tried that on me, he would see the end of a baseball bat. I would hit him in the private parts so hard, he would never use them again! Catch him when his guard is down. It would be worth going to court for, and the judge would probably dismiss it or maybe give a small fine. Maybe that would straighten his problem out!

The worse thing you can do is shrug it off and minimize it. Do the right thing and do it for the babies sake!

My prayers and thoughts are with you! Please let me know how it goes, if you want to.

Next time this occurs, immediately call 911. The police will come out and question the crime scene and if they feel he has been beating on her, off he will go to jail. Doesn't matter if she wants to press charges or not. If the police feel a crime has been committed, he will be arrested. Let him pay the consequences for his behavior.

By all means get involved!

64.12.96 ~ "It would be worth going to court for, and the judge would probably dismiss it or maybe give a small fine. Maybe that would straighten his problem out!" Yes she can call the police & yes they will come out there, but unless this woman who has been beaten or threatened, steps up and presses charges against this so called "man" (worm is a better word) then there is nothing that her sister or anyone else can do. The police will either issue a warning, write him a citation for "disturbing the peace", take him away for the night to "cool off" and then let him go to go back and do it all over again, because she or her sister called the police, it doesn't matter, because until she accepts the fact that she has to be the one that presses charges against him, there is really nothing the police can do "permanently" about this man. As for the child, I agree, someone should go in there and take her out of this situation, in that instance then the child services should be called in by either her sister or parents or an anonymous caller & have the child taken out of the home to a place where she will feel safe & loved. As for having the "worm" beaten up....well yes that sounds like a lovely idea, why stop with just beating him....take him out and "get rid" of him . Yes, violence is never the solution and it only hurts the ones involved in the long run, because he will blame her for his problems, be it the "toast is burned at breakfast" or she "looked" at him wrong, or didn't bring his beer fast enough to suit him! ~ He is an a**hole and that stands to reason and he won't change either until he wants to or he gets help for the issues he is dealing with as well. Yes the abusers have issues as well...doesn't mean I'm taking up him in what he does to her. They are still "scum" in my book. Don't get me wrong, I totally understand where you are coming from & I agree, unfortunantly our society is still not up to standards on dealing with these scum like they should be. Domestic violence has and is one of the biggest problems in our nation. We need to address it fully & with impact. The laws need to be changed and brought up to date and until they are, the "abusers" will always be let off with a slap on the wrist or a fine, until the day they really really hurt someone and then it's too late for the victims and those innocent children that happen to be caught in the middle of all of this. Again, I understand where you are coming from, but she has to want this, for herself and her baby girl and until she understands this and gets the help she needs, it's not going to change for her or that child. Because unfortunantly, women like her tend to be "victims" with most partners they hook up with, until they come to realize "they" need to change this pattern in their lives. Again, just my opinion on this sad situation, because I've been there and seen it happen on too many occassions.

~MP & BB~
saggirl57

That is not how it would go down. It would be considered a crime no matter what state she is in. It would be up to the court to decide to remove the child from a dangerous environment. Her sister can go throught the courts. Like I said, the two of them can beat on each other all they want. Their both adults. The child is a different story!

205.188 ~ I guess i didn't make myself clear in my statement ("then there is nothing that her sister or anyone else can do.") I meant that her sister has to come to terms with the abusiveness in this relationship and stop it, the sister wanting to help can be there for her emotionally until then and yes her sister can go to the courts system, and yes like I stated in my post the child should be taken out as soon as possible. And yes it is a crime in any state to abuse someone, but the red tape and the victim's usual 1st couple of responses to charges against her abuser "oh he didn't mean it, he loves me, he wouldn't do that to me again, etc, etc...pretty much ties the hands of the court system as to what punishment they can serve out to the abuser. So yes, by all means, "step up to the plate" & do your part, but know that domestic abuse is an UGLY thing! It tears familys and communities apart and it needs to stop. The legal process to bring it to court and have justice served is a long hard ugly battle. Always has been, always will be. My apologies if my post on this subject confused you as to where I stand on this issue. Bottom line is ~ Get the child out ~ Get help for your sister (legal & emotional) and everyone do their part in helping to stop Domestic & Child Abuse in this country.

~MP & BB~
)o(
saggirl57

Sounds like we are on the same page to me??!! There is nothing the sister can do to break the relationship apart, but she can do something to get the child in a safer place and then maybe the mother will think about what is MORE important to her--the child or a piece of shit!!