The elusive Capricorn man

Hi everyone -

I've known a cappy for approximately 6 years, although I saw him infrequently as I was referred to him by a friend due to the line of work he is in.

A few months ago we found each other on a dating site which resulted in him actively pursuing me - he texted me constantly and kept trying to hint that we should go out. I wasn't interested at first but his persistence paid off and I agreed to go on a date.

The date was actually awesome and I really really enjoyed him. We got along really well and he immediately booked a 2nd weekend. We live an hour apart and work during the week, so weekends work best for outings.

He continued to text me a lot and even threw in a few phone calls here and there - he texts in the morning for about 3 hours and after work for about 3 hours.

I was convinced he was super interested in me and the feeling was mutual, although I quickly learned not to tell him anything too sweet as he would ignore those texts and change the subject.

Reason for my post is because a few weeks ago he needed to move to a new apartment and has severely cut back on his contact, which I know is due to him being pre-occupied with his move but I feel like it also resulted in us losing a lot of momentum.

He still has contacted me daily, but some days its just 1 text and if it happens to be more than 1 text, its very dry and not flirty in any capacity as it was before.

He talks about himself A LOT now - what he needs to do, what he has done so far - seemingly quite OCD about it.

I just give him support and ask him how the move is going, how organizing is going, etc. If I try to talk about myself at all he gives me a simple response but doesn't really seem to care.

I'm supposed to see him this weekend for his house warming - but I really can't tell what's going on.

I know that Capricorn's get elusive and wrapped up in their own world - but as a gemican - I feel like the loss of momentum is an indicator he is losing interest.

Is this all within normal realm for Caps? Will he go back to normal or did I just lose the honeymoon phase sooner than normal due to his life hitting an obstacle.

I don't mind giving space if I know that someone still cares - but with his lack of emotional display - aside from the initial courting phase, it's hard to know if he cares at all.

Sorry, my wording was strange on that. I am going to the housewarming - I even got a little gift that is quirky and I'm fairly certain he will like. I am analytical by nature but I've also been through enough in life to know that I need to press on outwardly despite what's going on in my head. So, I'm not ignoring what's in front of me, but I also want to make sure I understand what's in front of me. If that makes sense.

I don't know if this helps but - he is Cap Sun, Taurus Moon, Aquarius Venus - I don't know his birth time.

I am Gem Sun, Gem Moon, Taurus Venus with a Capricorn Midheaven, Aries Rising.

If he's still contacting you, that's a good sign. When we lose interest in someone, we will stop initiating. So, as long as he is initiating, then things are probably fine.

Don't make any assumptions until you see him in person. Pay attention to how he treats you, responds to you and you'll be able to tell a lot more about it.

It's good that the two of you knew each other before connecting off the dating site. Are you still on the dating site? Is he?
I think play it cool too and don't jump to any conclusions, but it would be good to know if he is focusing on just your relationship or if he is still actively dating.

Posted by CluelessCancer
Elusive? You can find Cardboard at Office Depot.

At least you didn't say the dumpster in the back alley. -

I removed my profile soon after we started talking as I was tired of it and I like to focus my energy in one direction. He knew I deleted it. I've checked in the past to see if he did, and from what I can tell, he has deleted his as well. So, from my understanding - he's only focused on me, but I do not know if he had any other cards laying around.

Before I showed him any reciprocal interest, he and I had discussed how much the dating world sucks and why we keep getting into bad situations. He said that girls never want anything serious, and he wants something serious.

This is part of what initially drew me to him. The fact that he and I both admitted we didn't like games. If we text each other, the other responds, although he can be delayed in his and sometimes I will see him online but he will take some time to respond - I'm ok with this.

Impulsv - what I mean by honeymoon phase is that in the beginning, prior to our date, I felt like he bared his soul about what he wants and how he feels about the concept of dating, but once we went on a date a lot of walls went off and we haven't had a single discussion similar to it. He still seemed excited about conversations and they weren't dry for some time after that... it wasn't until the move came up that things seemed to come to a halt.

In person he is VERY affectionate. Always has a hand on me whether driving in the car or at the movie theater. I just haven't had a chance to spend any time with him in 3 weeks so this distance is making me insecure and add on the fact that he's distanced himself since the move = paranoia.

Sometimes when a cap bears their soul, we freak out a little afterwards. Anxiety over the vulnerability sinks in and we withdraw a little bit because we're either embarrassed about revealing that much or we're nervous what the other person is going to do with the information. Vulnerability is a very uncomfortable feeling for capricorns. We're afraid of being judged, or humiliated or put out in the cold because of what's in our head. (we like to stay in control of ourselves and our situation and when we're vulnerable we lose a little bit of control and have to trust the other person - very scary for us).

Just act like everything is normal. If you usually text/call at a certain time, keep doing it. Etc. Don't make him feel like he's done either a good or a bad thing and let it all smooth over. Once he feels like everything's okay with you knowing what's in his soul, he will relax.

Not saying this is what's happening here, but it is a possibility.

On the other hand, moving is very stressful. There's so much to do and if he's getting ready for a housewarming, then there's unpacking, decorating, getting utilities like satellite and internet going, putting everything in order - not much time for lounging about texting and talking.

Posted by truecap
Sometimes when a cap bears their soul, we freak out a little afterwards. Anxiety over the vulnerability sinks in and we withdraw a little bit because we're either embarrassed about revealing that much or we're nervous what the other person is going to do with the information. Vulnerability is a very uncomfortable feeling for capricorns. We're afraid of being judged, or humiliated or put out in the cold because of what's in our head. (we like to stay in control of ourselves and our situation and when we're vulnerable we lose a little bit of control and have to trust the other person - very scary for us).

Just act like everything is normal. If you usually text/call at a certain time, keep doing it. Etc. Don't make him feel like he's done either a good or a bad thing and let it all smooth over. Once he feels like everything's okay with you knowing what's in his soul, he will relax.

Not saying this is what's happening here, but it is a possibility.

On the other hand, moving is very stressful. There's so much to do and if he's getting ready for a housewarming, then there's unpacking, decorating, getting utilities like satellite and internet going, putting everything in order - not much time for lounging about texting and talking.

That's very sound advice. I know moving is stressful, that's why I've let it be and given him the space to do so. I guess I'm just very different - no matter what I'm going through I always stay relatively consistent and I have trouble reading people who don't.

I have been also trying to act like everything is normal. He writes me in the morning and wakes me up, so I still wake up and respond to him. If he doesn't contact me, I reach out myself sometimes just to wish him a good day and gl with the organizing, etc. I do a pretty good job of staying consistent. I don't act irritated easily so most people don't even realize if I am.

I guess I just needed to vent and was curious about how to handle caps when they're going through something stressful like this, and to probe into how normal this is as for me, its not normal. It's generally indicative of loss of interest.

I suppose this weekend will tell the story 🙂 Hopefully it tells a good story.


P.S. Him telling me how he felt with his emotions and whatnot was back when I was disinterested. He quickly ended that after the first date. Since the fi